As It Was
”You've seem to have outdone yourself on insults, Granger."
What was he doing here? She didn’t mind crying her heart out in front of people until the second she faced him. Seeing him was like a bucket of cold water pouring down her head and it made her more aware of her surroundings, immediately looking around to see a bunch of people looking at her with pity in their eyes. A second later she felt her stomach clench. The incredulous look on his face reminded her how she looked and she cleaned up her makeup, at least she tried. Everyone could have a bad night, but not everyone who was watching her was a cold hearted Malfoy.
She looked ahead, avoiding his gaze completely. "What do you want?" Her voice was restrained and she tried all her best not to sound weaker than she already felt.
"I don't want anything from you," he raised his chin up, "I'm just a curious observer."
"Well, observe someone else then!" She shot him a dirty look.
Draco scratched his jaw. "I could yeah, definitely, but I don't think anyone could top this," he pointed his finger at her. "What's the deal? Did Krum realise what a terrible mistake he has done and left you?"He seemed excited at this idea, delighted even. It wasn't surprising, of course, he was someone who wished her to be gone for good. It would be a lie if she said she didn't feel the same towards him, but she wouldn’t bring his date into question.
"Viktor and I are perfectly fine, now leave me alone!" It wasn't hard to sound harsh since he was getting on her nerves already, but it didn’t work in her favour.
"Oh, my bad..." A fake, concerned look overtook his face in an instant. "So, I'm assuming this shape you're in is the reason why those two morons ran off in a hurry?" He walked up to the wall and leaned on it.
He had seen Harry and Ron… Why he had to be there at that exact moment? Why wouldn't he just go somewhere else? His dormitories were not even up there. "Piss off."
"Right on!" he shook his head, laughing proudly as if he won the lottery, “Go on then, which one was it? I'm interested to hear what happened," he folded his arms, ready to listen. His demeanour resembled her of a psychiatrist, if only he was capable of such empathy. She decided not to answer and give him the pleasure of getting on her nerves.
He had seen Ron and Harry running off, she wondered what they were saying on the way to the dormitory and how much of it did Malfoy hear? She knew she had been a bit too harsh with Harry by yelling at him for no reason. At the same time, she was at ease knowing that he would forgive her; he had seen how much Ron had bothered her all evening, or so she hoped. What she did was not acceptable but he was her best friend and best friends would understand each other. Still, she couldn't understand why Ron would make such a big deal out of her date. If he wanted to go to the ball with her, he should've asked her from the beginning. He even had the courage to ask Fleur DeLacour to the ball for Godric's sake, how hard it must be to ask one of his closest friends?
Draco shifted in his place, feeling uncomfortable leaning on the wall and decided to sit on his side of the step, thinking it would take some time for her to spill things out. They were quite away from each other, but the second he sat down, the group by the door started whispering and quietly laughing. He immediately realised he had put himself in the same position as her in the eyes of others and sprung to his feet. "Hey!"
She heard him yelling and for a second she thought he did that because she hadn't answered him, but looking up she saw that he was actually pointing his finger at the group ahead of her. They were all looking at him and then glancing at each other, they seemed a bit scared even. She was sick of seeing that look on others' faces when Malfoy called out to them. He wasn’t a tad bit scary.
"Hey Copper!" A Ravenclaw boy turned to look at him, he was in their year, but Hermione didn't expect Malfoy to know his name, obviously the boy didn't either. "If you don't want to meet my dad, take your stupid friends with you and leave!" The boy kept staring at him and Malfoy added with a challenging smirk, "I'm sure he would love to have a chat with your dad, he works at the Ministry too, right?" The boy paled and nudged his friends to leave before they disappeared. Hermione turned to look at Malfoy.
His demeanour had become rigid and didn't soften even after they left. She wondered what must they have done to anger him so suddenly, but then again, there was no excuse needed to anger Draco Malfoy. He has always been like a bomb ready to burst out. She observed the dust on his bottom and the backside of his legs as he continued to look after them. The steps were dirtier than they appeared after being stepped on all night, and his black pants didn't help him either. She didn't notice whether he sat down or not, but if he did, they would look like two friends speaking next to each other. Having been seen next to her would definitely be something he wouldn't like. That would also explain his outburst.
Hermione scowled at him. "Your dad? When will you stop using him for your bullyings?"
He turned his gaze from the blank space he was proudly staring at to the so called witch in front of him. "Yeah, you're welcome,"
What was he even talking about? Malfoy watched her reaction and the side of his lips twitched upwards. "They were all laughing at you, you know."
Hermione subtly looked around, no one was left in the corridor. "You mean the ghosts?"
Of course not.
"That's not... never mind," Draco opened his mouth and shut it again, he looked at the ceiling, then to the floor, then back up to the ceiling. "You don't always see them, but they can see you, so to answer your question: no. That group right there was laughing at you just now."
She glanced at him for a second and then nodded. "I'm sure you had the sweetest intentions,"
"Of course I wasn't thinking of you Granger, do you think I would let them talk about me being next to you?" he shook his head. The thought itself felt too strange to him even though they were dancing not so long ago, but, it was a whole different case of course.
"Then why are you next to me exactly?"
He snorted. "I had nothing to do, happy now?"
"You're pathetic," her eyes pierced into him.
He raised his eyebrows and looked at her unbelievingly. "Let's not discuss who's the pathetic one here Granger, because you'd win all the way I'm afraid,"
She wasn't going to let him get under her skin like that. He had already seen her cry, and there was no turning back now; she simply had to act better in front of him until she felt she could return to her room. Fortunately, her silence was enough to irritate him; as she thought before, there wasn't much that needed to be done to anger Draco Malfoy.
"As for my dad," he continued, "do you have a problem with that?"
"No, it only makes you look like a needy little boy, that's all," she said casually and she wasn’t lying.
His face remained calm and collected, but his eyes were unable to contain his rage. "If you were from a family as sublime as mine, you'd maybe understand, but I guess you will never know the feeling of doing all sorts of magical things with your family," his eyes were eagerly waiting for her response.
Hermione glared at him; she didn't want to start another argument, but she was hardly composing herself. "Why are you here, Malfoy? If you want to irritate me so much, just throw a couple of slurs and let's get this over with."
For a brief moment, he stared at her blankly, his gaze drifting between her face and her balled hands before his features softened. "Granger, it may come off as weird, but I had no intention of insulting that way at the moment. I mean, you're already at your lowest point; picking on someone like that would be immoral of me."
Yet, he was insulting her anyway.
Hermione scoffed as she pushed her hair away from her face, "I didn't know you were so considerate," she stretched out the last word.
"Don't get me wrong for a second, I'm not being considerate to you. I'm really trying my best not to pick on you because there's no fun in it when you're already down," he examined her from head to toe. That little act suddenly made her feel more open and vulnerable than she was before if it was even possible.
She could hear the condescending tone in his voice. It was clear to her he found her pathetic and pitiful. The only reason why he was there at all was for the sole purpose of enjoying her misery. She had never seen someone take advantage of somebody so blatantly. She was bullied in her previous muggle school too, but no one was as cruel as him. They would make fun of her teeth and not let her play with the others just because she was praised by teachers a lot more than they were, it was just envy and spite. But Malfoy… he simply liked to watch as she was humiliated. To see her suffer. He probably even thought that she deserved it. She could tell just by looking at him, he was always watching her like a hawk waiting for her to slip up.
She swallowed hard, trying not to lose her composure again; she was down. No one would see her like this if it wasn't for Ron, but he managed to turn her dazzling dream into a heartbreaking memory she could never forget. She strained her throat to avoid making a sound, but couldn't control the tear that escaped and rolled down her cheek. Her head turned away from him in an instant and she wiped her cheek with the back of her hand. How could she even let all of this happen? It would take only two minutes to girls' toilets, she should've been in a safer place right now, not in front of people. It wasn't like the ones that were leaving the Great Hall were taking the time to observe her, but one Malfoy was enough already.
She was feeling silly for crying like this in front of him when in truth, she was so relieved. It wasn't until now, sitting here on these cold stairs and empty corridor that she'd come to realise that everything that had happened tonight had been all because of one person, one that was very close to her. She had even danced with Malfoy and she was still okay. He would mock her, just as he was doing now, but she was okay. One person, just one conversation somehow managed to ruin everything.
There was something, something that was forcing its way out of her mouth for a long time now, but she was scared because of what she was about to tell to someone who was constantly cruel to her. She was scared that her voice would sound weaker than it already was and he would use it to tear her down even more. Yet, she needed to say it, at least to someone. She wanted someone to listen and acknowledge her frustration, but there was an uncomfortable feeling at the back of her throat, preventing her from actually talking. She finally parted her lips, hoping that her decision would not lead to guilt in the future.
"I wanted this night to be unforgettable," she muttered under her breath and closed her eyes shut.
Hermione clutched her dress firmly as her vision blurred once again. She took deep breaths to calm herself down and not cry in front of him anymore. It wasn't helping, though. It felt like the whole world was closing in around her, making it harder to breathe. She could hear how laboured her breathing was getting and she hated every second of it. It was a bad idea, she shouldn't have said that.
"What?" Draco leaned his head forward.
She played with her nails, "nothing," her voice was getting quieter each second.
She wasn't sure if he heard her or not, but the more she looked at her dress, remembering her dance at the hall with Viktor and their kiss, the harder it became to stop the stinging in her eyes. She felt as if all of her frustrations she would bottle up inside were waiting for this moment to pour out of her. She couldn't remember the last time she cried in front of someone, but she knew she wanted a comforting hand instead of his judging eyes. She wanted to cry as loud as she wanted, not muffle herself.
"Leave me alone, Malfoy." She hung her head, her lungs were burning from not being able to sob freely.
She kept observing her dress, reliving the dialogues she had with Ron and assumed in the meantime that he had already left, but he was simply standing there and watching at her. Seeing his stupid shiny shoes from the corner of her eye made her feel even more terrible. She didn't know what exactly it was that he wanted from her, she just knew that she felt as if his gaze would penetrate her soul any minute now. She would've gone up to him and asked why he was staring but she felt drained from all the arguing. She still wasn't sure if he heard her or not, but he was definitely standing there to make her feel more and more uncomfortable. Watching her cry for his own amusement, could he really be this cruel?
He cleared his throat and approached her. "I don't know what happened, Granger, but—"
Draco thought for a moment before reaching into his chest pocket. "I suggest you to stop embarrassing yourself like this," he hesitantly offered her a napkin while checking if anyone was coming at their way.
She had never heard this tone of his voice before, it wasn't full of anger or hate. It was just... frustrated? Annoyed? No, she was familiar enough with such tones to know what they meant. He had been like this almost from the day they met, and the sudden change had caught her off guard.
This time , though, something in his voice did sound different, softer than usual.
The same boy who was making fun of her and insulting her a minute ago was now giving her his napkin. The same boy who never even tried to be nice to her once. He never apologised for any of the insults that he threw at her or for all of the shite comments that he made in class. What had changed? He wasn’t the kind of person to suddenly become good.
Her eyes curiously wandered between his hand and his face as her fingers twitched. He was doing an act of kindness, yet there was no sign of that said kindness in his eyes. She wasn't sure of accepting it, bloody Merlin, she wasn't even sure if it was real!
He caught up with her uncertainty. "Even the thought of it cheers me, I'm not going to poison you. If you don't want it-"
"No," she impulsively reached for the napkin. "Thank-"
"No, no, no....stop right there," he shook his head and leaned down a little closer to her with a threatening look in his eyes. "I know who you are to me and you know who I am to you. This doesn't change that, we can continue taunting each other tomorrow."
She thought he was actually behaving like a decent human being for a second but no, he was always going to be the same old cocky Malfoy. She looked straight in his eyes with the same lack of kindness. "I wouldn't want it any other way."
He gave her a quick, indifferent nod and walked away as if he was just passing by her. Hermione wiped her tears away with the napkin and turned back to her room, holding her heels in her hands. It was better to sleep and forget about the past hour. She didn't know how she was going to approach Ron the next day; she didn't think she could be near him, plus he needed to make an effort. She deserved that after having her night ruined, she deserved to be treated better.