purple passion flowers
Professor Sprout has to be Pandora’s favorite person right now. Not only did this merlinsend of a teacher have the purple passion flower, she agreed to let Pandora come down anytime to work on her potion. Absolute marvel, Pandora thinks.
She’s walking down the hallways towards Ravenclaw, practically giddy with joy. This potion was not only one of her favorite ideas but also a marvelous distraction from one red haired beauty of a person she would be seeing in class tomorrow.
Pandora would be lying if she said that her heart hadn’t stopped beating the day Lily walked into her Transfiguration class. Luckily, she’d regained enough social skills to be able to smile at her, thanks to Evan who’d nudged her out of staring in shock for too long. Since then Transfiguration has been spent cursing out the sun for somehow making Lily even more mesmerizing and Pandora somehow managing not to sound like a bumbling idiot when talking to her.
Try not to think about her, Pandora tells herself. Thinking about Lily Evans wasn’t what she needed right now, to be honest she was still holding back tears from seeing Lily with James in the library. Lily is just the most intelligent, kind, loving, soul that Pandora has ever met. She was the type of person that actually sought out a conversation with Pandora and didn’t just use the “weird girl” as a distraction till class ends. Pandora could only count the number of people that did that on one hand. Lily has always been like that since even before the moment Pandora realized she liked her. Apparently she is failing to not think about Lily Evans.
Sometime in 4th year Pandora had an idea for a new potion and hadn’t exactly had the same amount of self control she has now so of course the thing blew up in her face, literally. At this point she couldn’t even remember what the potion had been for but she knew that she ended up sobbing in the girls bathroom with her clothes and hands stained in the charred remains of her failed idea. She had been too emotional to clean herself up and that was when Lily came in. Apparently Marlene had lost her eyeliner before quidditch practice and Lily and Mary were searching the bathrooms but all Pandora knew was that Lily was hugging her and getting her uniform covered in dirt and ash as well, but she hadn’t seemed to care.
Lily was wiping the potion off Pandora’s arms after she’d talked her out of giving up on potions forever. Pandora might have been acting a little dramatic but it hadn’t felt like that at the time. Lily wasn’t looking at her with pity because she’d failed, like most people would have and that was when Pandora really noticed how bright her green eyes were.
And it was all downhill from there. Since that day Pandora has only been able to see Lily Evans as the most beautiful person in the world. Has she tried to forget her? Of course, but she was like a firefly in a pitch black field, even if you turned away from her you would know that she was still there and not looking back felt like the greatest of challenges.
The longest time Pandora had gone without needing to look back at Lily Evans’ light was when she dated Xenophilius. They’d dated for about 7 months and Pandora had truly liked him and she was happy but they’d amicably decided that maybe their feelings weren’t as strong as they’d thought. They broke up right before summer and they’ve stayed close friends.
Pandora had thought that since dating Xeno before school ended and having 2 months of summer alone with her own friends and interests that seeing Lily Evans on the first of September would have no effect on her… she was wrong.
Lily had somehow gotten even more beautiful over the summer, she’d stepped off the train and Pandora had thought that she might have accidentally drank one of her potions because she felt like she was about to faint. But right now Pandora didn’t want to have to think about Lily because thinking about Lily meant thinking about James and that would only cause Pandora’s heart to hurt, which wasn’t acceptable in her mind at this time because she had just found the best news she could have and she needed to stay happy.
Pandora’s friendship with Xeno had not been something they’d lost after breaking up. Being in the same house, Xeno would always defend Pandora when other Ravenclaws were being rude about her being friends with Slytherins and Pandora always kept him apprised of her latest potions, he always had good ideas of what to include. They’d spent all day in the library 3 weeks ago discovering everything they could about passion flowers, Pandora couldn’t wait to tell him about her victory in finding one (thanks to the glorious Professor Sprout).
Luckily she didn’t have to wait long to see him as he was sitting in the common room when she walked in.
“Xeno!” she shouts, elated at the sight of her friend.
“Hello, Pandora,” he says, standing from the chair he’d been sitting in with a box in his lap. Pandora pulls him into a hug even though both of them had only one free arm, they laughed and Pandora decides that there cannot be anymore waiting.
“I have something very exciting,” she says, practically jumping, unable to contain her excitement.
“Well, I have something as well,” he says, smiling.
“Mine’s better,” Pandora states, moving to sit down on the coffee table in the center of the common area while Xenophilius sits back in his chair. Pandora takes out the cloth bag that Professor Sprout gave her and hands it to Xeno, who sets his box down next to her but she ignores it wanting to see his reaction to the plant. He pulls out the flower and Pandora can practically see his eyes fly out of his head.
“You found one!” he exclaims, smiling with astonishment. “How?”
“Evan told me Professor Sprout took a trip to the United States this summer and I went down to her classroom and she had the flower! The exact one!” Pandora explains, delighted by his reaction and the shared excitement.
“I can’t believ-” he starts to say but Pandora jumps in.
“And Professor Sprout said I could come down anytime if I need to work on the potion,” she says.
“Really?!” Xenophilius asks, clearly feeling just as excited as Pandora is, there was nothing they both loved more than getting to work on a potion and Pandora knew that Xeno had a few he was dying to try out after they found the flower in the book of plants.
“Yes! I cannot believe this luck,” Pandora says, and she then realizes that she’d been so enveloped in telling Xeno about the passion flower that she didn’t realize he had been holding something too. “What’s in that?” she asks gesturing to the box next to her.
He laughs and reaches over to hold the box out for her, “Something less exciting then this but every bit as necessary,” he says and confusion covers her face, he pops open the box. “Dinner.” Pandora laughs, had she really missed dinner? “Barty and Evan dropped it off before heading off to bed.”
“I didn’t even realize how late it was getting,” Pandora confesses.
“Nothing a heating charm can’t solve,” Xeno says and Pandora thanks him and then heads up to her room setting down the food and putting the passion flower in a safe spot before beginning to take down her hair when a thought strikes her. Shoot, I forgot my bag in Professor Sprout’s classroom.
She must have been so focused on the flower that she’d completely forgotten her bag, she glanced at the clock. Quickly weighing her options Pandora decides that Sprout’s classroom is too far from Transfiguration for her to make it in time in the morning, so she decides to just go back now and hope for the best.
She raced back down the stairs and back through the common room, luckily the herbology room wasn’t too far from Ravenclaw, and even more luckily Professor Sprout was still there, “caring for the plants that only grow in moonlight” she’d said and Pandora had thanked her endlessly when she’d said that she was planning to bring the bag to Mcgonagall’s room after she was done if Pandora hadn’t come back. Again, Pandora thinks, a merlinsend of a teacher.
Pandora was once again feeling like she was walking on sunshine, despite it currently being night. She’d gotten the flower, she has a plan to work on her potion, and nothing could bring down her mood. But there was apparently one thing that could simultaneously bring her mood up and send it crashing down and she just rounded the corner.
Lily Evans came into view and Pandora felt like her emotions just jumped on a rollercoaster. Lily looks up and does a small double take when she meets Pandora’s eyes but she immediately falls into a smile. Pandora smiles at seeing Lily’s most beautiful smile, the rollercoaster seemed to land on feeling happy.
“Hi,” Lily says, sounding surprised to see her but smiling like it was the greatest surprise she’d ever had, which Pandora could tell was her brain trying to convince her of nonexistent feelings but all day she’d been trying to stay happy so right now she didn’t care.
“H-hi, Lily,” Pandora stutters out, hoping that Lily would just think she was surprised to see her and not be able to tell how many beats her heart was currently skipping.
“What are you doing out here?” Lily asks, she has the most beautiful voice, Pandora thinks.
“I uh, forgot my bag in Professor Sprout’s classroom,” Pandora says, so much for not thinking about Lily, now I’m talking to Lily.
“I didn’t know you had Sprout’s class this year,” Lily asks.
“Oh, I don't, I just needed something for a potion,” Pandora explains.
“Oh,” Lily says excitedly. “What’s the potion?”
It’s not as if her friends hadn’t asked her anything different less than 4 hours ago but some part of her had unknowingly been wanting to tell Lily the most.
“It’s-” she starts before her mind reminds her; Lily is in love with James, they were in the library just a few hours ago, they were probably talking with just as much interest with each other there. Despite knowing this, Pandora couldn’t look at Lily and did not want to tell her everything but some manner of intelligence came over her brain and she decided to just say. “I can explain it better after I figure out all the details, the idea is still running around my brain.”
The look of disappointment Pandora saw cover Lily’s face for an instant made her want to drop down and cry right there. Pandora knows that Lily has a love for potions as well and it broke her heart to have to push her away. Lily quickly picked up her smile but the guilt that felt like a boulder crushing down on Pandora’s heart would stay present for a while. How could I make this amazing person sad? How could I cause that look ? Pandora thinks, now she was just thinking that whatever hurt of rejection she would feel if she’d told her would be worth it if it would erase that look on Lily’s face.
“Right,” Lily says, still smiling but Pandora could tell that she was hurt, Pandora knew that her and Lily were friends and that she should try and keep that but every time she would talk with her the urge to tell her how she feels got stronger and stronger but that would just hurt both of them. Lily would awkwardly have to let her down and Pandora would have to deal with a broken heart, pity was never something she wanted to see Lily look at her with and she’d do anything she could to avoid it. “Well, I’ll look forward to hearing about it, I’m sure it will be great.” Merlin, why did she have to be so perfect?
“Yeah, of course, thanks,” Pandora says, it’s just then that she realizes that Lily is also out of bed late at night and she has her bag with her. “What are you doing out here? I didn’t think you had Professor Sprout this year either.”
“Uh,” Lily says, looking caught off guard by the question but she regained herself quickly, again. “I don’t, I-uh told Sirius I’d drop off his homework, is Professor Sprout still in?”
“Yeah, she’s still there, caring for the midnight plants,” Pandora answers. “I’ll leave you to it then, goodnight Lily.”
“Oh,” Lily says, snapping her attention back on Pandora, her piercing green eyes managing to stop the girl in her tracks. When Lily stares at her, Pandora is suddenly once again taking in just how beautiful she is for what must have been the millionth time. And Pandora just wishes that she could lean down and kiss Lily like she’d been dying to for years and for just a second she almost convinces herself that Lily had looked down at her lips but clearly she must be going insane because not even a beat later Lily says. “Goodnight, Pandora.”
Pandora walks away as fast as she can but she could say for certain that she had no control when she turned back to look at Lily, she was still standing there, facing away from Pandora. Pandora managed to get a grip on herself and keep walking.
Had Lily really looked at her like that? Had she imagined the whole thing? Was there any possibility that Lily could have wanted to kiss her too? She looked like she had- No! Pandora tries to stop her mind because if she didn’t then she’d start hoping and that could only end in heartbreak so, no hoping and no thinking about kissing Lily!
Ugh, her eyes looked so bright in the dark hallway and her face was so beautiful- Okay, so she couldn’t stop thinking about Lily. Again.
I really need to talk to Regulus.