Chapter 21
James had felt as though every step he took was in slow motion. The whole past week had been a complete haze, like nothing happening was actually real.
After that night in the astronomy tower, James had felt as though his hard had been ripped to pieces. He had been in such a state of shock, that he hadn't even been able to protest when Regulus had ended things.
He had stayed right where he stood, crying, for at least an hour.
When he had returned to the Gryffindor common room, he hadn't even acknowledged his friends all sitting around the fire. He had simply walked to his bed, and stayed there for the entire weekend.
This was such odd behavior for James. It was so odd, that it had been extremely confusing for his three best friends. They had watched him poke at his meals, stare into thin air and barely speak for three days.
That was when Sirius had had enough. James lifted up his head, as he watched his best friend literally storm out of their room, the door slamming behind him.
Regulus wasn't doing much better than James. But seeing as he had been the one to end things, he felt it would be dumb to sulk too much, at least around his friends.
He nearly fell out of his chair, as Sirius marched into the slytherin common room. He grabbed him by his collar, dragging him towards his room “What the actual fuck do you think youre doing?” Regulus asked, aggressively fixing his collar “I was just about to ask you the same thing” Sirius said, making Regulus take a step back, knowing exactly what was wrong.
“James has been absolutely pathetic to watch for the past few days. I am aware that the two of you had your issues, but i am going to have to ask you to fix whatever it is that you did, right the fuck now” Sirius raised his voice “Yeah? What makes you think that I'm the one who did something wrong?” Regulus crossed his arms “Well that usually seems to be the case with you” Sirius said “Okay, like you and Lupin are just doing perfectly fine at all times” Regulus said “Well now that you mention it, things are actually going splendidly with him”
“You might play dumb. But don't think that I don't remember that night when you came crying to me, after telling Snape his little secret” Regulus spit back, making Sirius close his mouth taking a step back.
Regulus knew it was a sore subject, but as of right now he really couldn't care less.
“You know what Reg? I am really not in the mood to get spoken to like that. Just talk to James..” Sirius walked past him, purposely hitting his shoulder on the way out.
James nearly fell down the stairs, after he had gotten Regulus' owl, asking to speak to him. He was embarrassingly out of breath, when he made it to the top of the astronomy tower.
“Merlin slow down” Regulus said as James stopped in front of him “Sorry” he said, feeling extremely pathetic in that moment.
“Sirius asked me to speak with you. Called you pathetic, so i figured i should listen to him”
Regulus crossed his arms.
“I just- I know you said that you wanted to just end things, but honestly I believe that would be dumb. I made a mistake, I am aware. And I am going to spend the rest of my life making it up to you, if that's what it takes. I don't wanna hide anything anymore Reg, i will gladly tell everyone how in love with you i am, if that's what you'd like”
Regulus sighed, his eyes having gone glossy “Fine” he said flatly. He watched James light up completely, like the sun he was, which made it all worth it “R-Really?” James asked “I am not sure that I'm completely ready to have everyone know yet. But youre right, it would be dumb to just throw everything away..” He admitted “So you're not mad at me for what happened at the party?” he asked “Well..” Regulus sighed, fear immediately flashing in James' eyes.
“Relax, I wouldn't say I've completely forgiven you, but no I'm not mad,” he sighed, and let out a chuckle, as James had immediately pulled him into his arms.
James knew it was inevitable, but he dreaded it anyway.
Summer break was coming up, and he felt absolutely terrified. There had been word going around, about a number of pureblood families being in contact with the dark lord.
Though they had never spoken about it, James had asked around, and gotten confirmation that one of those families was the Blacks.
He felt helpless almost, knowing that he wouldn't be able to stop Regulus from going back there. Worst of all, was the fact that he also couldn't stop him from joining them, knowing how important his family still was to him.
He had asked Regulus to meet up with him at the greenhouses again, during their lunch break, to maybe talk some sense into him.
He had a bunch of things prepared. Well thought out words. But those were of course nowhere to be found, the second he saw Regulus standing in front of him.
“Don't go back there”
Regulus sighed.
“Please..”
“James, don't do that. You know i can't come home with you” Regulus took his hands, sitting them on the nearest bench “Just want you to know how much i'm going to miss you over the summer” James admitted “Oh i think i know” Regulus smiled “Oh but i don't think you know just how much” James placed a soft kiss to his lips, and one just under his jaw, feeling Regulus practically melt in his hands.
“I just don't know if i can go that long without getting to see you everyday…Merlin i love you so much” James smiled in awe, watching the puzzled look on Regulus face “You don't have to-”
Regulus had cupped his cheek, staring right into his very soul “Je t'aime”
“What does that mean..?” James smiled.
“Je t'aime, Je t'aime, Je t'aime”
Regulus kissed all over his face, making them both laugh.
As James looked at the boy in front of him, pink cheeks and a big smile, he realised just how absolutely doomed they both were.