they’re so pretty it hurts [DISCONTINUED]

Mary loved Hogwarts. It was the best thing to ever happen to her. One of her favourite things about Hogwarts was the food. Oh, the food! It was wonderful, it was magical, it was fantastic! 

Mary was currently eating her breakfast, devouring pancakes and croissants and toast and eggs and watch ever else there was. Some girls glanced over at her and wrinkled their noses in disgust. Mary simply grinned with her teeth showing as she shoved another egg in her mouth. 

Marlene laughed and it was bright and loud and Marlene.

Professor McGonagall was now making her way down the table, handing out time tables to all the Gryffindor girls. Mary hopes that she had all of her classes with Lily. And Marlene, of course, but mostly Lily. 

Mary had figured out that she had feelings for Lily in their third year. At first, she’d left them there, deciding to ignore them. It didn’t help. By the time fourth year came around, she had decided to try and distract herself from the pure Goddess that was Lily Evans. Mary kissed boys, she took drugs and got drunk, she woke up in the dorm of someone she didn’t know and her mind had left blank spaces multiple times. 

The thing that had scared her and snapped her out of it was when she had blacked out in Gryffindor Tower and had woken up, propped against a doorway heading towards the dungeons. That had made her run back to the dorm and collapse to the floor, great heaving sobs shuddering out of her chest. That was when she realised how much worse it could’ve gotten if she hadn’t stopped it there. 

Ever since then, she hasn’t touched a boy or a girl or anyone like that. She’d tried to block out those horrible memories but they just kept following her, like her own personal shadows. She hated them. Sometimes, she swore she could feel cold, dead hands grasps onto her shoulders, harsh, whispered threats at her ear, rotten fingers with scratching nails trailing down her back.

Every time she imagined that, the fingers stop and break through her skin. They tear threw flesh and tendons, breaking bones and leaving a waterfall of blood behind. They keep pushing and tearing until her heart is in its hand. They always hold her heart. At first it was a gentle caress of her heart before she realised it wasn’t real. But now. Now, they desperately tug at her heart, ripping it from her chest, tearing into it and turning her heart into small remnants of flesh.

She always told herself it wasn’t real. But sometimes it felt like it was real. Lately, she’s been able to fight it off. It might be because she’s been imagining Lily. It was always Lily that save her. Lily gently placed her heart back into Mary’s chest if it wasn’t shredded. If it was, Lily opened her own chest to replace Mary’s heart with her own.

But sometimes, Lily takes Mary’s heart and doesn’t give it back. Sometimes, Lily squeezes her heart until it explodes. Sometimes, Lily bites into Mary’s heart and leaves blood covering her face and mouth. Sometimes, Mary doesn’t stop her. Sometimes, Mary lets Lily completely tear her apart. It wouldn’t be as scary if Mary didn’t already know that she would let Lily tear her apart.

“Oh, we’ve got the same classes!” Lily said, leaning over to look at Mary’s timetable.

Mary grinned. Marlene also had the same classes as them. For some reason, Mary had the sneaking suspicion that it had something to do with Minnie, she definitely favourited them. That’s okay though, because the they favourited her as well.

Their first lesson was potions. It would be both Gryffindor Girls and Boys along with the Slytherin Girls and Boys. When Marlene noticed this, she slammed her head onto the table, almost face planting her food. Dorcas Meadowes, the girls that Marlene had a crush on but acted like she hated, was going to be in the same class.

From the other side of the Hall, Dorcas groaned loudly and began complaining in a rapid, loud language. They still hadn’t figured out what language she spoke. A dark blush spread across Marlene’s face. Apparently, Marlene was very attracted to people speaking a language she didn’t understand.

This is going to be chaos.

Mary discreetly -or maybe not- snuck some food into her bag. Hey, if you want your girlfriend to have thigh pillows and actually be confident in her body, then you gotta let her eat! She was also planning to sneak Lily some food in potions.

Lily always eats the bare minimum and Mary always tries to get her some food. There are snacks in the dorm, hidden everywhere so the house elves don’t try and clean it up. She also learned how to make a pocket dimension, she can only hold it for two hours, and there’s a kitchen inside which means Mary can cook an actual meal for Lily whenever.

McGonagall stood at the teachers table and cleared her throat loudly, casting a charm that amplified her voice as she went.

“Can everyone, please, start heading towards their class, thank you.”

There was a rustling of students packing away their stuff and heading out of the Great Hall. Among the noise and the growing crowd, Mary caught sight of Dorcas. Dorcas was staring at Marlene like she was the only person in the room, like it was just them, like she had hung the moon and the stars and the sun, like Marlene was everything to her.

Oh. This just got interesting.