Stars & Dragons

The next morning was a typical morning for Draco. Besides the fact that he had to explain to his mother why Jamie was passed out in his room. He took the day off of work to make sure that when Pansy did come over, he could make sure that the two of them would not actually kill each other.

“So, is Jamie still sleeping?” Narcissa asked while sipping on her tea.

Draco took a deep breath and ran his hands over his face, leaning back into the chair. “Yeah. She needs it. The amount of firewhiskey I watched that woman drink would knock a giant off of their arse.”

“Draco..” Narcissa scolded, narrowing her gaze at him over her tea cup.

“Sorry mother,” Draco mumbled. “She’s spiraling, again.”

“How do you mean my stars?” Narcissa didn't know Jamie very well, but she did see that Draco always had a soft spot for her. Draco quickly ran through the events that happened on Halloween all those years ago. He never spoke a word of that night to anyone. So, he didn't think that after all this time, the pain was just the same as how he felt that night.

“I just don't know what to do mother. She refuses to talk to anyone and she definitely refuses any sort of help,” He put his head in his hands and pressed his eyes until he started to see stars. “She is so stubborn sometimes I can't stand it.”

Narcissa snickered over her cup and smirked. “Sounds like someone else I know.” She looked back up at Draco and he just scoffed.

“Besides the point,” He retorted while waving his hand. “We aren't talking about me, she's the one who needs help.”

“Well, has anyone considered since she has been home to let her make that decision? When she's ready to talk about what happened?” The more Draco talked about Jamie the more Narcissa started to see herself a bit in Jamie. She held everything in and was ‘fine’ for everyone else but for herself. Narcissa understood that, but from first hand experience, she knew that was not the way to live life.

“I mean- I guess- Ugh!” Draco groaned while throwing his hands up in the air. He sighed and clenched his jaw. “No, I guess not..”

“So, the more you push, the more she will pull away unfortunately. Grief and pain has a funny way of controlling people. Even years after the fact.”

Before Draco had time to respond, they both heard a crash upstairs.

“AND YOU THINK RUNNING OFF IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT IS OKAY?!?!”

Smack

“FOR CIRCIES SAKE PANS CALM DOWN!”

Draco groaned and covered his face again. “When do you think it would be an appropriate time to go and pull them off one another?”

Narcissa just giggled as she gracefully got up out of her seat and made her way over to Draco. “If they are like sisters like you say they are, it might just be better to let them figure it out for themselves. I, unfortunately, know from experience.” She said while placing a kiss to the top of Draco’s head. “Pansy doesn't hate her, she's just worried. They will work it out.” Narcissa patted his shoulder before leaving the dining room.

Not even five minutes later does Jamie come running down the stairs with Pansy chasing after her. “For fucks sake Pansy!” Jamie yells while covering her head. 

“No! You don't get to run off like that and act like everything is fin- GET BACK HERE POTTER!” Before Draco could blink they both ran outside. Frankly, both women scared the living shite out of him, so he listened to his mother’s advice and hung back until they figured it out. He watched from the window as Pansy caught up to Jamie, shaking her shoulders.

“What on earth is wrong with you! None of us knew where you were for HOURS!” Pansy yelled. If there was a step above livid, that's what Pansy was. “We looked everywhere for you, you know..”

“Well, you didn't look hard enough because I was at the Leaky for most of the night. I'm fine and I was safe. What's the big deal?” Jamie huffed while crossing her arms over chest. “I'm not dead so why does it matter?”

“It matters because I'm watching my best friend fall apart and she's in denial about it…”

Jamie clenched her jaw and looked down at the ground. She knew she wasn't okay. Besides the last four years, the last twelve hours threw her in for a loop. “You- you just don't get it..”

“I would be able to at least try if you would actually talk to me.” Pansy retorted while also crossing her arms. Her onyx eyes never left Jamie’s face as Jamie was clearly getting uncomfortable.

“Fine. I'll tell you the whole story… But, unlike Charlie, I don't want you to tell anyone. Especially the boys..” Jamie's chest deflated in defeat and started pulling at her necklace. “I'm even worried about telling you if I'm being honest.”

“Try me.” Pansy responded while her face softened. She was starting to feel a little bit better that at least she was getting somewhere with her friend. “I promise I won't get mad.”

“Oh but I think you will,” Jamie awkwardly chuckled as she sat down on the grass. “You remember that guy I was talking to forever ago?”

Pansy reluctantly sat next to Jamie and just started to listen. “Yeah. he was that Russian guy right?”

Jamie took a deep breath and fiddled more with the ring the more anxious she got. “Well, we had gotten engaged at one point. Everything was great the first few months…” Pansy’s heart sank. Letting out an exasperated sigh, Pansy snapped her mouth shut so as to not immediately jump to conclusions. She was angry and upset that her best friend never told her she was engaged in the first place. But, the more Jamie spoke of the situation, the more she started to understand why.

“After a few months, things started to change… He went from being happy and loving to possessive and controlling.” Jamie’s heart started to beat faster as she heard blood rushing around in her ears. Almost like second nature at this point, she started occulading and went into autopilot. No emotion, just rambling through the events. “Most of it started small. ‘Oh do we have to go to your parents this weekend?’ or ‘You need a break. Your family will understand.’ I never thought anything of it. Until Charlie started questioning why I wasn't coming home.” Jamie stared blankly at the ground with her knees to her chest. She was also simultaneously pulling grass out of the ground and hanging her fingers off of the ring around her neck.

When Jamie paused, Pansy didn't know if she should let her continue or not. “Hey,” Pansy whispered while rubbing Jamie’s back, “If it's getting too hard, we can stop.”

“No, I’m fine. If I don't get through it now, I won’t want to later.” Jamie huffed out while wiping her eyes with the sleeves of her jumper. “I started to realize more that something was changing when he started getting defensive when any of you would write or floo me.” Pansy cocked her head and looked at Jamie with pure confusion.

“What do you mean? We never actually met him.”

Jamie scoffed and rested her head on her knees. “Yeah, I said the same thing too. But, in my case, apparently that was the wrong answer..” While during the whole conversation Jamie was occulading, little blurbs from the year and a half long relationship ran through her mind.

“So, you're saying your fucking friends are more important than me?!” Andrei yelled while slamming his hands into the kitchen table.

“I don't get why you're so fucking pissed Andrei!? You've never even met them! So, where did the fucking broom get shoved up your arse about me talking with them!” Jamie looked into Andre’s eyes with nothing but pure confusion and anger. She didn't have a clue in the world where this fight even came from. “It has been months since I’ve seen them and every time I make plans with any of them, something conveniently happens and we can't go. If you don't want to meet them. Fine. But, you're not going to tell me if I can or can not see them.”

Jamie started to turn around to walk back to their room. Andrei ran around the table and grabbed Jamie by the neck and pinned her against the wall. “You really think you can fucking talk to me that way?” He gritted through his teeth while squeezing her neck harder. Jamie couldn't think. Her face was nothing but terror as she clawed at his hand. She went to grab her wand but quickly realized that she left it in her jacket.

“If I say I don't fucking like your friends, you fucking respect that.” As Jamie looked into Andrei’s eyes, they weren't the normal bright blue/green like they usually were. They were dark, almost black. He tightened his grip as he continued. “Do you understand me? You are fucking MINE.” Jamie hastily nodded just so he would release her. As she nodded he let her go and she fell to the ground, gasping for air.

“Jamie…” Pansy repeated herself while slightly shaking Jamie. When she did lift her head, her face and sleeves were soaked. She looked over to Pansy who was completely shocked. Jamie didn't have to even finish for Pansy to realize that Jamie was stuck in a shitty, abusive relationship for gods know how long. “Let's take a break, yeah?” Pansy asked, well, more told Jamie. Jamie just nodded her head and shoved her head back into her knees.

“I’m sorry..” Jamie mumbled into her knees, refusing to look up.

“No- I don't want to hear that from you.” Pansy snapped while grabbing Jamie’s face and forcing it up to meet hers. “Whatever happened between you and that cunt of a man was NOT. YOUR. FAULT.” Pansy went back to shaking Jamie’s shoulders. She was angry, just not at Jamie.

“I- I know…” Jamie said through sniffles. “It's been a while, but it still feels that way.” She added, shrugging her shoulders.

“So, you have not been with him..?” 

“Since Charlie beat the ever living shite out of him. That was about six months ago..”

“Where did he go?”

Jamie shrugged. “I don't know. We worked in different parts of the reserve. From what Charlie said, all his boss did was transfer him to a different sanctuary all together.” Pansy could tell that Jamie’s brain was fried. She was somewhat happy that Jamie finally opened up a little bit but it was more severe than she thought.

“Lets go get you cleaned up. You reek of firewhisky.” Pansy held her nose as she struggled to stand back up. “Come on. Let's get a move on.”

Jamie rolled her eyes as she also got up. “I don't need a babysitter Pans.. I can shower myself, thank you.”

Pansy scoffed as she glared at Jamie. “After last night, you do need a babysitter. Now move that big butt of yours.” She retorted, smacking Jamie in the arse.

“Ow Pans!” Jamie jumped and started rubbing her butt at the same time.

“Don't make me get Ginerva, Potter.” Pansy huffed while pointing her finger in Jamie’s face. Jamie dramatically threw her head back and groaned.

“Fine. But like I said. I CAN shower by myself.”

Pansy shook her head and grabbed Jamie’s hand. “Keep it up and you won't be allowed to.”

When Pansy and Jamie made it back to Pansy’s flat, she promptly started shoving Jamie towards the bathroom. “Merlin Pans, you don’t need-”

“Aht aht, I don't want to hear it. I’m not going to let you fall down another manic episode. Go shower and head into my room after you're done.” Pansy retorted while she rummaged through the closet for towels. “Besides, we have a lot to do today.”

Jamie raised a brow as she waited in the bathroom. “Do what? I'd prefer to sleep the day away so I don't feel like shite anymore.”

“If you didn't go out and drink your weight in alcohol you wouldn't be feeling like shite now. So, take this as your punishment.” Pansy smirked, bobbing her head in the process and shutting the door.

Jamie groaned and threw her head back. “She's not going to fucking let this go.” She muttered to herself as she started to get undressed.

“I wont if you don't get your shite together!” Pansy shouted through the door

After getting out of the shower, Jamie did feel considerably better besides the splitting headache she still had. She wrapped herself up in the fluffy towel Pansy left out. Jamie chuckled to herself. Of course she has the most luxurious towels, Jamie thought to herself as she walked out. Not to her surprise, Pansy’s room was just the same. Beautiful and luxurious.

“Well?” Pansy asked while lounging on her bed, reading her magazine.

“Well what?” 

“Do you feel better?”

“What- I mean I guess.” Jamie shrugged her shoulders and walked over to sit on Pansy’s bed.

“I don't want to say I told you so,” Pansy smirked while tossing her Witch Weekly to the side. “But, I told- What is that?”

Jamie’s back was to Pansy as she was drying her legs. She sat up and looked behind her to look at Pansy. “What is what?” She asked. Once she saw Pansy look at her bare back, she chuckled. “Oh, you mean my back?”

“Yeah. When did you even get that? Pansy questioned as she got up to get clothes for Jamie.

“Off topic, please don't dress me like your own personal doll. People will really think I've gone mad.” Jamie retorted while she turned around on the bed to face Pansy. “Anyways, I got it a couple of years ago.”

“So sorry that my closet is filled with amazing pieces of clothing and not just flannels, jeans and hoodies.” She slowly rolled her eyes as she glared at Jamie who just had a shite eating grin wiped across her face. “Anyways, you know my stance on tattoos, but this one is really a piece of work.” Pansy added while tossing the clothes to Jamie and promptly climbing onto the bed to inspect the tattoo.

“I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.”

“If it's coming from me about any sort of tattoo, it's a complement.”

“ Well, thank you.” Jamie smiled and bobbed her head like she had just one some sort of argument. “You know, it took like eight hours.” Jamie continued while she stood up to put the jeans Pansy gave her on.

“What on earth made you want to sit there for eight hours?”

“Cause. It may be a shock to you but this one actually has meaning.” Jamie answered while slipping a bra on and then a jumper. Jamie had multiple other tattoos. A half sleeve of different flowers on her right forearm and some runes she had behind her ears on both sides.

“Oh great one. Pray tell me what your fancy dragons mean.” Pansy drawled out, giving Jamie forced puppy dog eyes. While Jamie was all dressed now, Pansy kept lifting up the jumper to look at Jamie’s back.

“Well, it was my take on the Yin and Yang. Both dragons keep the balance of the dark and light in my life. The smoke is kind of self explanatory that there are also times where there is always chaotic neutral and the stars are a couple of constellations.” The tattoo was huge. It went from the top of her spine and ran the entire length of it. Both dragons looked like they were climbing up and down her spine throughout the sea of smoke that wrapped around them. One was obviously back, and the other, white.

“And what about the stars?” At this point, Pansy was tracing the tattoo, almost like she was inspecting it. While Pansy wasn't a fan of tattoos, she knew to appreciate a beautiful piece of artwork.

“The top one is Aries, for Fred. The bottom one is Sirius-”

“Correct me if I'm wrong, but I do believe that this one,” Pansy interrupted while poking the constellation that was in the middle. “This one is Draco.” Pansy smirked as she strained her back.

Jamie pulled her jumper back down and turned around a glared back at Pansy. “It's the constellation. Not the person, Pans”

“Mmhm. Keep telling yourself that, darling.”

“I'll have you know that the constellation ‘Draco’ was the first one I was able to find when I was little and it's my favourite for obvious reasons.” Even after all these years, Pansy and Ginny still would try and push the whole Draco thing. “Speaking of, shouldn't we have told him we left?”

Pansy popped her head back up from her magazine like she was offended. “Don't try and change the subject, Potter.”

“I am not! And I’ll have you know that I liked the constellation BEFORE I met Draco. It has nothing to do with him.”

Pansy rolled her eyes and started to get up off the bed. “Yeah, and I’m the virgin Marla.”

“Oh gods,” Jamie huffed out and pinched the bridge of her nose. “It's Mary, Pans. Even I know that.”

“Besides the point,” Pansy replied while waving her hand around. “I still think you head over heels for that man.”

“I still think you're a pain in my arse.” Jamie mumbled.

“And you're still a pain in mine.” Pansy smiled, linking her arm with Jamie’s. “We will put this conversation on hold. We have to get going.”

Jamie resisted Pansy pulling on her arm before she finally yanked harder on Jamie’s arm. “And where are you taking me to now?”

“If I tell you, you’ll put up a bigger fight on not wanting to go.” Pansy deadpanned while they walked up to the floo.

Jamie knew she was not going to win anything with Pansy currently, so it was better for her just to bite her tongue for once and just let Pansy be Pansy. “Ah yes, because that response makes me feel sooo much better.” Jamie drawled out while trying to look indifferent to the whole situation.

Pansy did not respond. She just grabbed a handful of floo powder and went into the floo, pulling Jamie with her. “The Burrow!” Jamie’s eyes grew wide before the green flames took over them.

As they stepped out of the floo, both Jamie and Pansy were met with Molly, who was sitting on the couch waiting for them. Jamie swallowed hard and shoved both of her hands into the back pockets of her jeans. “Hi mum..” Jamie barely whispered. She couldn't even look at Molly. Even though Jamie was an adult, she felt like a little kid again. She couldn't shake the feeling that Molly was going to send her to her room for the rest of her life.

“Sweetheart, come here.'' Molly did not hesitate to stand up and swiftly pulled her daughter in for a hug. There was no feeling of anger or disappointment. Just a mother worried about her daughter. Jamie was initially shocked that Molly was not mad, which made her feel better, but the guilt for reacting the way that she did in front of her mother felt worse. “Are you okay?” Molly asked while holding Jamie’s face.

“I think? I don't know. I will be though, eventually.” Pansy excused herself to the kitchen so that Molly and Jamie could talk in private. Jamie followed Molly to the couch and plopped herself down and let out a loud sigh. She was really hoping her mother wouldn't ask her to go into detail about the mess that was her and Andrei.

Molly held Jamie’s hand as she drew circles with her thumb. “I think you need to see a mind healer, darling.” Jamie snorted and smirked at the same time. “Jamie Lily,” She scolded.

“Sorry,” Jamie muttered. She never liked the idea of mind healers. Even after the war. She knew that Theo and Draco had to go see a mind healer but that was ordered as a part of their probation. At the time when they were going, they would constantly gripe about it which made Jamie swear them off completely. “I can look into it if it will make you feel better.”

Molly smiled warmly and squeezed Jamie’s hand. “I just want you to be happy and okay again. I won't deny that you haven't been through a lot, Harry included in that. But, I don't want to see your life crumble when I know how strong of a woman you actually are.”

Jamie pulled her hand away and pressed her palms into her eyes so she wouldn't cry. She took a deep breath to collect herself before she came up with anything to say. Talking about anything was never her forte. She was better at hiding things and keeping secrets than people actually give her credit for. She especially used that to her advantage during the war but, she did have to pay a price long term for it. Mentally that is.

“Honestly mum, the more and more I try to be happy and act like everything is finally okay, it falls apart. Just like-”

“Last night.” They both said in unison. Molly was always confused about what went on in Jamie’s head. Slowly, she was starting to see how hard Jamie is really on herself. “Healing takes time. Just because it doesn't happen when you want it to happen, it doesn't mean that you are never going to get through it.” Molly, again, pulled Jamie into a hug. Jamie took advantage and sank into it. “You know it's hard for any of us to talk about.. But Fred wouldn't want to see you like this.

The mention of Fred immediately made Jamie cry. Besides Charlie, Jamie was the closest to Fred. Besides George, of course. But, her and Fred had a bond that no one understood. Even from a young age, Arthur and Molly saw how protective he was over her. “I know..” Jamie mumbled into Molly’s shoulder. They were both silently crying at this point. “I think about him a lot..”

“Me too honey. Not a day goes by that I don't think about your brother.”

Jamie sat up and wiped the tears off of her face. She looked at her mother like she understood what she needed to do. “I will try to see a mind healer. I promise.”

“I'm holding you to that now.” Pansy yelled from the table. Jamie rolled her eyes and Molly quietly giggled.

“I like her, you know.” Molly whispered.

“Yes mum.” Jamie chuckled as they stood up. Since they both calmed down, they went into the kitchen to join Pansy at the table. Pansy and Molly glanced at each other which immediately questioned. “You lot are not finished talking to me about things, are you?”

Molly and Pansy and smirked at each other. “Well no, but it's nothing bad.” Pansy responded while Molly went to go make them some tea.

Jamie breathed a sigh of relief and leaned back into the chair. “Thank gods.” 

“I had brought this up to Molly and she agreed that it would be a good idea.”

Jamie scrunched her brows together and looked between both Molly and Pansy. “Okay?”

Pansy scoffed and crossed her arms. “Honestly Jamie, you're being a bit dramatic.” She deadpanned.

“What do you mean?!” Jamie whined as she threw her hands up. “I’m not even doing anything.”

“You're acting like something bad is going to happen when we just told you it was good new-”

“I don't know Pans. Maybe because the last almost twenty four hours has been filled with nothing but bad news!” Jamie shouted while Pansy groaned and covered her face.

Molly smacked her hand on the table which immediately made the girls stop arguing. “Honestly girls. You two are worse than you and Ginny are.” Molly scolded. “Now, are you going to be quiet for more than a minute so that Pansy can speak?” Jamie rolled her eyes and waved her hand in front of her.

“Thank you Molly.” Pansy told Molly, mocking Jamie in the process. “As I was saying before I was so RUDELY interrupted. We thought that you would want to maybe come and live with me until the investigation is over.”

Jamie looked between her mother and her best friend, mouth hung open and her eyes wide in disbelief. “What?”

“You are coming to live with me.”

“No, I heard you. I just- Why- Did you?” Jamie was too in shock to even properly form a sentence. She took a deep breath to collect herself. “Are you both sure about this?”

“I wouldn't be asking if I wasn't okay with it, Potter.” Pansy responded with a smirk while leaning back into her chair. “Also like I just said, your mum agrees with me.”

Jamie looked over to Molly who just nodded in approval. “Are you sure? I don't want you to think I don't love being home.” For how much Jamie would complain about being there, she loved being home. Being around her family was always her main comfort. She also acknowledged that she did need her own space and not her mother breathing down her neck.

“Darling, nothing you could say or do that would ever make me think that. You're a grown woman who needs to be with her friends and not living at home with mum. Even though I wouldn't mind.” Molly giggled while rubbing Jamie’s shoulder. “Don't worry about me, or your father for that matter. But, I will only allow it on one condition.”

Jamie sighed and hung her head. “What is it now?”

“The one condition is that you must come every Sunday for family dinner.”

“Oh mum,” Jamie laughed while shaking her head. “You don't even have to ask. I'll be here every Sunday.”

“Four pm and not a moment later. Do you hear me?” Molly was pretending to scold her now. Which made Jamie giggle and Pansy grin. “Now, since we have that all figured out,” Molly added, getting up out of her seat and shooing both girls up the stairs to Jamie and Ginny’s childhood room. “Go clean out your drawers so I can clean your room.”

In unison, both girls replied “Yes mum.” and went straight up the stairs.