Ethereal

Harry decided to stay.

Over the weeks, he develops a routine and everything in his life starts getting more domestic than he thought he would be comfortable with. He decided to start accompanying Hermione to the Ministry, and there he started sitting down with the head of aurors and learning about the desk work. The man was glad to see Harry take an initiative, eager to pass down his position.

While Harry stayed with Hermione for the first few days, he started visiting Teddy more, and it hurt to see how that boy had grown and how much Harry had missed.

He even insisted for Hermione to tag along because Teddy always loves visitors and while that little boy blushes and refuses every time Harry asks about Hermione, he knows that the toddler is absolutely smitten by the brunette.

In those moments, Harry feels compelled to imagine Hermione, Teddy and himself as a family.

When he watches Teddy change his hair colour, desperate for Hermione to praise him who magically produces a chocolate each time Teddy morphs his hair and eyes to be like hers.

Hermione soon left for her house, but Harry decided to stay back. It was moments alone with this child that he had always come to cherish. Late at night, Harry sat on the bed with Teddy between his legs as he flipped through a magically animated book.

"Prongsy?" Teddy called out.

"Yes, moony?" Harry responded.

"Why did Mione go back?"

"Because she has to sleep, then she has to go to office tomorrow."

"But... shouldn't she be with you? Aren't mammas and papas always together?"

Harry's heart came to a halt. Since the beginning he had made sure to not take Moony's place in Teddy's life.

"Who told you that?"

Teddy looked up with those doe eyes he had mastered so well and pointed a small finger to a page in the book open. It showed a family with the adults looking strikingly similar to Harry and Hermione.

"The book says that mamma and papa are people who take care of you and love you and they always stay together. You and Mione love me, and you always are together."

Honestly, the kid made it a little hard to argue and Harry couldn't find it in himself to burst his bubble. At the end of the day, he is just viewing Harry and Hermione as two people who love and care for him.

"Well, I would go visit Mione tomorrow and bring her back with me. Then we would be together again. Okay?"

The little boy nodded his head enthusiastically and buried himself in the blanket. With his head on Harry's torso neither realised when they both dosed off.

Next morning, as Harry woke up and saw the small boy curled up next to him, holding on to Harry's arm as he drooled on the pillow last night came back to Harry in a flash. It brought along an ache in his chest that he honestly should be accustomed to by now.

Keeping his promise, during the lunch break in the ministry he visited Hermione. He walked in, unannounced, like he always did and regret waged over him immediately.

Hermione looked beautiful, healthy and laughing, with Alex sitting right next to her. He was leaning into her and she was busy talking. Alex's eyes zeroed i'm on her face and he seemed completely overtaken by the smoothness of her voice, in the glee of her words.

That intent jealousy burns through Harry, but so does self-bashing. What was he doing inviting her? Letting himself complete his fantasies of pretending to be a family for another night when she already found someone else. Someone who seemed to be perfect in so many ways that Harry is not. Alex is light and Harry has never let himself believe that he himself was anything other than an omen for destruction, a person who can invite danger to anybody's life, anybody who chooses to care about him enough. Alex can be everything for Hermione that Harry can only spend his life trying to be.

It kills him. It kills him how that bubble Hermione and Alex have around them makes his presence completely unnoticeable. He turns back with half a heart and with the knowledge that he should talk to Teddy weighing him down.

How do you tell a kid that the family he pictured is not real? How do you make yourself make peace with the fact that you're too late, that you missed out on the opportunity or even the chance to have something you have always wanted?

Returning to work helped deviate his thoughts but ultimately when he entered through the gate and Teddy ran up to jump into his arms, the grown man broke down. Harry gripped onto Teddy, the kid he loves so much.

"Where's Mione?" Teddy asked, looking past Harry's shoulders as if the woman was going to step in right behind him.

Still holding Teddy in his arms, Harry moves to the living room. He settled on the couch and Teddy looked up with an expecting shine to his eyes.

"Is she getting more chocolates? Is that why she is late?"

"Moony, you know that Mione and I love you a lot right?"

The kid nodded.

"You know family is not how it looks in the books we read or the movies we watch. Did you know who your father's real family was? They were his friends, your mother and you. Family is all the people around you who love you. Hermione cares for you and she loves you, she is your family and you are hers. But Mione has more people she loves and cares about."

Teddy adorably scratched his head and tilted it slightly, "but she cared about us more? you two are together."

"We aren't together Teddy and no matter how much I want the same as you. I want her to be with us forever. I want you to have a family like the picture you showed me last night. Hermione might want something different and because we both love her so much, we will let have that. I love Mione, I wish she'd stay here with me at all times. She's the best person I know and I would spend the rest of my life with her but..."

"Harry?" a voice came from behind him and Harry froze, he'd recognise it anywhere.

"Mione?" He looked back and the astonished face immediately told him that she had heard everything.

Teddy jumped out of Harry's lap and ran to hug Hermione's leg. The brunette was still in too much of a daze to notice the kid clinging on to her. Teddy looked up and asked, "you got my letter. I sent my owl."

At that moment, maybe just a little bit, but Harry regretted getting Teddy an owl for his fifth birthday.