Just a Kiss

Remus was lounging in his armchair, trying to finish his new book. It had been over a month and he still couldn’t finish it. There was just something about romance that never stuck out to him. It felt so boring, so redundant. The boy always loved the girl so she had to love him back. Life was more complicated than that, and simpler in the ways that mattered. He was reminded by this when Sirius decided to throw his body on top of his, his head finding the juncture of the armchair where the arms and back met. 

He flashed Remus his incredibly wicked eyes, while his legs dangled off the other side of the chair. Remus, despite feeling nothing but adoration and fondness, rolled his eyes and attempted to shove him off. Grumbling about his book. 

“I’m bored!” Sirius whined, fighting to keep his spot in the chair. Bringing his knees to his chest, letting him be properly seated. 

If it was anyone else, Remus would’ve cringed at the invasion of space. But it was Sirius… only he couldn’t know that yet. “That’s not my problem.”

“Of course it is. James is doing rounds with Lily. Mary said not to disturb her on her afternoon walk. And Marlene and Peter are fighting over spiderman again.”

“So?”

“Moony, moony, moony. Don’t you know I’m your responsibility. You’re lucky I tried everyone else first.” Sirius scoffed.

Remus let his eyes narrow genuinely. “How are you my responsibility?”

“Because you’re my moony. What part of this is not obvious to you?”

He could’ve laughed it off, but quite frankly, Remus was bored as well. “I’m your moony?” He asked with a set face. Finding nothing could be more interesting than this moment. 

Sirius began to stammer, eyes sweeping across the room. “Obviously… now hang out with me before I die of boredom, which is going to be soon becau-”

Deciding that was the first time he was going to try and kiss Sirius was not the smartest idea, but he acted on it nonetheless. Cutting his words off, by gently placing his lips onto the other. Feeling all the nerves erupt in his stomach. The overpowering feeling of love and tenderness… and pulling away as soon as it started. 

When they separated back to their previous position, Sirius gasped. Bringing his fingers to his lips. His back automatically straightening. Blinking like a mad man. 

“Still bored?” Remus asked with a faux smile.

Sirius shook his head.

“Good, and I even got you to be quiet.”

Sirius was still in shock, and Remus honestly couldn’t tell if it was a good thing or not. He tried not to let his anxiety show when Sirius finally managed to get words out again. “You- you kissed me?”

Remus nodded sweetly. “I did.”

“Cool.” Was all he said, and Remus couldn’t help but smile wider at this stupid, stupid boy. 

Bringing a hand to card through those long black locks, Remus leaned the slightest bit closer and lowered his voice. “Sirius… it’s just a kiss. Don’t worry so much about it.” 

Sirius bit his lip anxiously, smiling as his head fell down, resting on Remus’ shoulder. “Cool.”

Then it was Remus’ turn to be flustered. Usually Sirius draped himself over him for a few minutes then found a place somewhere else. But Sirius was not making any moves to leave. Deep rooted in their intimate position. He knew he said seconds ago that it was just a kiss, but now it felt like a definite line in their friendship had been crossed, and Remus couldn’t do anything to slow down his heart. Hoping Sirius wouldn’t be able to feel it. 

Gryffindor had won against Slytherin. More specifically, Marlene and James won their bet against Barty and Regulus. So spirits were high and so was Remus. He was a giggling mess staring back onto Lily as she made screwed faces in between her laughs.

The music was blasting, pounding through the walls, everyone everywhere, and Remus struggling to breathe, holding his middle. Maybe that’s why he didn’t notice she was pulling him onto the dance floor until it was too late. When he was already clustered by all the people. He smiled widely, laughing over the music. 

“Dance!” Lily encouraged.

Mary, who was dancing next to her, rolled her eyes, yelling to be heard. “He’s never gonna do it!”

Suddenly Sirius appeared by Remus’ side, pulling him by the waist. “You guys just never use the proper persuasion” He slurred, obviously drunk.

Honey, I'm still free

Take a chance on me

Gonna do my very best and it ain't no lie

If you put me to the test, if you let me try

Remus tried to hide his face behind his hands, still giggling out of control, when Sirius pulled him close. The bending of his body made them momentarily the same height, and Sirius took the opportunity to press their foreheads together. Singing the lyrics in the most achingly beautiful voice. 

We can go dancing, we can go walking, as long as we're together

Listen to some music, maybe just talking, get to know you better

Peeking his eyes through his fingers, Remus stared fondly at him. “You’re so stupid.” He said, shaking his head. 

“I’m sorry, I’m what?” Sirius yelled dramatically, taking one of his hands away from his waist to point to his ear. “I couldn’t hear you!”

“I said you’re stupid!” Lifting his hands away from his face to fist at Sirius’ hair. The long black hair, that wasn’t even that long. Only shoulder-length. But it had the shine and bounce of a seven foot maine. Or maybe Remus just needed to sober up. 

“I”m awesome? I’m amazing? I’m an amazing dancer?” Sirius continued in his ways. Except now pressing him closer and swaying him to the beat. 

So much that I wanna do, when I dream I'm alone with you

It's magic

You want me to leave it there, afraid of a love affair

Sirius’ hands drifted to the small of his back, pushing him impossibly closer. Bouncing his head side to side. Remus was entranced. So much so that his brows furrowed when he stopped suddenly. And then Remus felt the taste of firewhiskey against his lips, and something unmistakingly Sirius. Remus smiled, and the kiss was over. 

“You’re drunk.” Remus dared to meet his eyes as he spoke. 

“And you’re high.” Sirius resumed bouncing his head, his eyes noticeably more dazzling and wild. A flush creeping onto his cheeks from his neck. “It was just a kiss… don’t worry so much about it.”

“In that case.” Remus took his chances, leaning in not too far to feel the scrape of Sirius’ lips against his own. It was magic. Pure magic. Not the bullshit they taught in lessons. But real magic no words could replicate. 

This time he double-downed. Destroying the line between friendship and not. He didn’t care.

Kissing Sirius with such intensity he swore he could’ve died. Sirius reciprocating just as much, with his hands desperately clutching to the back of his jumper. Swiping his tongue across the seam of his lips, Sirius arched his back and moaned, giving him entire access to his mouth. 

Groaning back, he felt another source of hands pulling at him. He shoved the hands away from his shoulder, trying to get back to the kiss, when Sirius began to slip away. Grumbling he opened his eyes to find James pulling Sirius away, while Regulus tried to pull him away. 

Both him and Sirius tried to wrestle free from their hold to get back to each other fervently.

“James let him go, we were having a great time until you interrupted.”

“Yeah Regulus, no need to be such a party pooper.” Sirius teased. 

One tug later, and Remus was free, clinging back onto Sirius. 

Behind them he could hear Regulus huffing out of breath. “James we gotta switch… I really didn’t think he was gonna be that strong.” 

Eventually, they had managed to get them into their separate beds, permanently ruining the night. To Remus’ demise. 

Oh you can take your time baby, I'm in no hurry, know I'm gonna get you

You don't wanna hurt me, baby don't worry, I ain't gonna let you

The next morning, Remus woke up with a splitting headache and the sounds of sick hitting the toilet. Courtesy of Peter. 

It was as blissful as it could have gotten until he was struck with a wave of memories. Feeling his soul leave his body, he hurriedly grasped the nearest thing next to his bed, as he pitifully wretched his insides into it. Wiping the spit off his face with his free hand, absentmindedly grabbing his wand to spell away the chunks before retreating under the covers. Never wanting to crawl out again.

Sirius must have been in a similar state from the sounds of it. He had fallen off the bed with a loud thud. James helping him to stand with light jabs in between, and Sirius grunted back, until his voice escaped him. It was a few more seconds before Remus heard the door shut, followed by footsteps running down the stairs. 

“Moony?” James called. 

“Mmmhh?” He answered. 

“You doing the same over there?” 

“Mmhh hmm.” Remus agreed.

Remus and Sirius began to avoid each other like the plague after that. Because unfortunately, it was not just a kiss. The world felt like it was going to crumble under his feet, over a stupid kiss that started with wanting to cure Sirius’ boredom. Or shut him up. Or maybe it was an excuse to feel those perfect peachy lips against his own even if it was only once, only for a second.

But now he can’t even look him in the eye passing the sugar. Flinching when their fingers touched.

Mary frowned deeply, eyes shifting across the two of them. “What happened here?” 

Biting into her toast and answering through a mouthful, Lily answered. “They’ve been like this since Sunday.”

“That was two days ago.”

“And they’re both stubborn.” Lily supplied as Remus stared blankly into the wall in front of him. Not feeling bold anymore. Feeling only out of place, not knowing what to do next. 

Him and Sirius had fought to kiss each other. Fought… to continue to kiss… each other. Remus was a mess of thoughts. 

But mostly he missed his best friend. Sirius was his everything and he couldn’t lose him. He didn’t think he would lose him over a small peck. But then that peck was kissing, and then the kissing was snogging, and then they were fighting to keep snogging. 

It was on the way to classes when Remus finally said anything. “Uh… Sirius?”

“Yeah?” He responded with an unnaturally high voice.

“Can we talk?”

“Mmhmm.”

God, Remus didn’t even know what Sirius could possibly be thinking. What if he was just too drunk to even realize he was snogging Remus and was now mortified. What if he had no feelings for him? What if he had never been afraid of losing their friendship, because there was nothing to be afraid of?

Remus stopped walking, letting their friends go on without him, and dragging Sirius into the nearest empty classroom. When the door clicked shut he began to speak against his will. “Look about Saturday night, I’m so - so sorry -”

Sirius shook his head. “Don’t be sorry, it was my fault and I should have never done that.”

What the fuck does that mean? “Alright… I just… want us to be okay.”

“Of course we’re okay.” Sirius gave a sad smile.

God, what does that mean?!

“Can we just forget it ever happened?” 

Remus swallowed, bobbing his head. “Yeah, that’s probably for the best… It’s  just a kiss.”

They were about to leave their solitude, heading outside to face their new reality when Sirius stopped him with a tug on his wrist. “It- it wasn’t…”

“Wasn’t what?” Remus furrowed his eyebrows trying to understand.

“It wasn’t just…” Sirius clearly fought with himself to get the words out, but Remus could’ve guessed after the ‘just’.

“It wasn't just a kiss?” He asked tentatively.

Sirius shook his head sternly. 

Remus felt his heartbeat race. Knowing this moment could go one of two ways. Everything was on the line. “Was it more because… I’m your friend and you’re scared things are gonna be weird… or is it more?”

“More.” He whispered, still clutching Remus’ sleeve. 

And with his heart in his throat Remus kissed him once again. Feeling the weight of the world lifted off his shoulders when Sirius kissed him back. Soberly. In all… seriousness. 

“I’ve wanted this for so long.” Sirius gasped in between kisses. 

“Thank god.”