Unbelievable! There at the edge of the rails on the side were his cigars. He opened it with 8 cigars left. To be fair, he should be thankful there even were some left, but still he’s missing 6.
Uch whatever, it's not like he ever expected to find them in the first place.
He climbs on the rails and takes one from its pack. (first checking if they are not cursed or something) lighting one up and letting himself relax in the gentle burn it gives. He swears it's never right with his parents. They were mad because he got an E on AncientStudies, a class that wasn't even an option for 90% of students, where he was the youngest person to ever be learning it. ( the class was with 7 six years and 8 seven years, as a 4 year that was a huge opportunity to make connections not only with the older students but also with the other houses ) and he got almost the best score in the class. Being beaten by the head girl from Ravenclaw. They told him that if his grades didn't improve, they would take away the piano in his room and he would be limited to an hour playing time, it being his only venting point at home, he was now studying way more than sleeping. So yeah, maybe he should now be studying instead of this, but come on; everybody needs a break.
‘So you do smoke more often.’ James' voice broke through his thoughts.
‘What do you want Potter?’ Regulus said from the railing. Not looking at James.
‘I told you you could call me James.` he saids ‘but I just wanted to clear my head to be honest.’ a nervous tone colouring his voice.
Regulus should not be curious, he shouldn't. He came here to clear his head, not to have a little chat with the boy that stole his brother. So he cursed himself when he spoke:
‘Go on, I won't judge’ he said, toon thankfully natural.
‘What?!’ James looked at him surprised. ‘You’r Sirius?’
‘No I'm Regulus.’ he said dryly. ( Regulus was going to sell his mouth for that comment)
Wits earned him a way to lovely laugh to the other boy.
‘But jokes besides, yes you can talk, at least if you want to. People like you most always want to talk, and the fact that you're not with your idiot friends and my stupid brother means something happened between you. So spill.’ he said maybe a little bit too fast. He didn't even know if James understood anything he just said. Well he himself didn't even understand why he said it in the first place.
But James walks closer and climbs on the railing to sit opposite of Regulus. Against his will, Regulus hands James a sig. The brunet puts it in his mouth and starts to search
his pockets for a lighter.
A sigh leaves Regulus lips. ‘Idioot’ he mutters. James looks up at him questioning, and Regulus snaps his fingers lighting his cigarette.
‘Really need to learn that trick,’ James says, taking a swig.
‘Yes you do.’ Regulus says back a smirk pulling at his lip.
It stays quiet for a few minutes, until James finally speaks. ‘Moony is mad at Padfood’ he almost whispers it, tension in his shoulders.
‘I'm imagining that Moony is Lupin and Padfood my brother?’ the raven asks.
‘Yeah that's right.’ he answers, looking straight at Regulus.
‘So where do you come into this precisely?’
‘Well the thing Patfood did to Moony was.. Well… it's not… it isn't… it's not really nice?’ it sounded more as a question to Regulus than an explanation. To be honest, Regulus could work with this. He could give James good advice from the little information he got. He could tell him what he wanted to hear and James would leave. He would be alone again pretending nothing happened.
But he has this feeling this problem has to do with… well.. Lupin's problem.
‘Come on Potter, tell me the full story or tell me nothing.’ he responded.
‘I can’t , there is something I can't say. Its-’ James started.
‘I know Lupin is a werewolf, ' Regulus said stone-faced.
~*~*
James’ hart sinks in his chest. How? How can Regulus know this?
‘Did sirius tell-’
He couldn't even finish his sentence before Regulus interrupted him.
‘What no?!
‘Snape?!!’ James asks, dread pulling in his stomach.
‘No, Snape didn't tell me shit. But from that I gather that he’s involved? The raven said
‘Well yes, but how do you know?’ What gave it away?
‘Really?’ Regulus said in a sceptic tone. ‘I'm not stupid. Lupin always disappears around the full moon. You guys practically nursing him on the days after. On the days leading up to the moon he looks like he does not sleep. The fact on the morning after you all eat in the hospital wing, and of course the shrieking shack with claw marks of a teenage werewolf.’ Reguls said simply.
‘You’r smart’ is the only thing James mind supplies.
“Sure hope I am.’ Regulus says in a softer tone ‘I just know how to watch’
‘How do you know about the shrieking shack?’ James asks.
‘You guys are not the only ones that sneak out, potter.’Regulus says with that lovely smirk.
‘I told you it was James.’ the brunet says again. There's a glint in Regulus' eyes.
‘So gonna tell me the whole story now Potter?’
‘Fine, I'll tell you’ he says with a small smirk on his lips.
~*~*~
So he tells Regulus the whole story. About how Sirius looked when he told him what he did, how he told Snape how to get to Remus. How he had to pull Snape away from Remus who was scared out of his mind. How he still hears Remus’ screams from the transformation in his dreams. How he has to look Sirius in the eyes every day, knowing he is sorry but the fact that he did something like this to their best friend for a stupid prank is unforgivable. The promise they all made. The reason Sirius now no longer sleeps with them in the dorm. How he had to go to the hospital wing before he could speak to his parents. He tells him the whole story.
‘That's quite a night Potter.’ Regulus says, but his tone is soft, like he understands James’ stress, like he will help him.
‘Yeah.’ is the only thing James says.
‘May I ask why you had to go to the hospital wing?’ the raven asks.
In the whole story Regulus never once criticised anybody, well he said Snape was an idiot but that was minor in comparison to the things James has said over him. So it wouldn’t hurt right?
‘Moony… he… he got me.’ he says carefully.
He sees the eyes from the boy in front of him go wide. ‘No… James dont tell me that your now also-’
He cuts Regulus off before he could finish that sentence ‘no..no. it was just a scratch’ he says quickly.
‘O thanks Zalazar. He would have lost his mind.’ Regulus says.
‘Who? Sirius?’ What does Regulus mean with “Lost his mind”?
‘Lupin, I mean. From what I picked up he’s pretty sensitive, and from what I heard not fond of who he is. Just imagine if he heard he “doomed” you to the same. He would probably kill himself from the guild, ' Regulus explains.
‘Well yes that's true.’ James didn't even think about the effect of what it would do with Remus if something like that happened.
‘But you said he got you?’
‘Yes but is fine, Pomfry already healed it the best possible way,’ he says
‘Can I see?’
Instead of answering him James turned around sliding off the rails they sat on. With his back to Regulus he pulled off his shirt. Revealing way more skin Regulus was prepared for. But there on James' back just between his shoulder blades stood out 3 claw marks. It was way better visible than the scars Regulus had, but that could also come because James had this soft looking licht brown tone in his skin. Without really releasing what he was doing he reached out to trail his fingers slowly down the scar. He felt James stiffen but then lean back in his touches..
‘I think I can fully heal it’ he almost whispers.
‘What?!’ James whispers back.
‘I mean it's simple, I could ‘the raven repeats.
‘If it's simple, why couldn't Madam Pomfrey do it then?’James asks, still standing with his back to Regulus.
‘Because it's an old spell, and madam Pomfrey is convinced scars should heal on their own.’the boy explains.
‘And you're sure you can heal it?’ James asks
‘Yes’ Regulus says determined.
‘Than give it a go’
With James’ permission, Regulus pulls out his want. It's an easy spell really, the only thing is that it's classified as dark magic, but James doesn't need to know that. ‘Vulnera sanentur, vulnera sanentur,’regulus whispers watching as the claw marks slowly disapy. He continues mumbling the spell until the scars are as good as gone. ‘Done,’ he says.
‘That felt so weird, not like Pomfrey’s healing at all.’ James says turning around and pulling his shirt on. “Regulus?’ James says softly.
Regulus how as soon as James started to turn around look the other way, looked back.
‘if… if you can heal this… can you maybe try and heal Moony too?’ James rushes out.
‘No’ Regulus says, not looking at him.
‘Regulus, I know we have our differences but please-’ James tries again, but before he can finish, he’s cut off.
‘No’ Regulus says again. Tone back to stone.
“Regulus pleas-’
‘I said no.’
‘WHAT IS IT? BECAUSE HE’S A WEREWOLF?!-’
‘JAMES, dont.’
It's immediately quiet, James didn't know where that came from.
‘Shit sorry, I shouldn't have I was not thinking and-
‘Indeed you shouldn’t.’Regulus says stiff. With a shig James takes out his pack and holds it up to Regulus.
‘Here’
For a few seconds it looks like Regulus will decline, he takes one carefully. ‘Thank you.’ he mumbles.
James takes one and puts it in his mouth, but before he can get his lighter out, Regulus snaps and lights both the cigarettes. ‘Thanks’ He says
‘I- I can't heal Lupin because it's a self-inflicted Injury. The spell. It won't work if you did it yourself.’ Regulus softly explains..
‘O…’ is the only thing James can think to say.
‘Yeah…’
For a while they were just smoking, looking at the stars. It's quiet and James has to admit it; it’s not awkward. It calms him down a lot, talking to Regulus. He knows that's funny to think because he just screamed in Regulus' face a few minutes back, but still. He knows speaking his thoughts out loud helps him a lot, honestly he would not have known what he would have done if Regulus was not here, everything has been such a mess lately.Regulus snaps him out of his thoughts when he speaks up.
‘You said Sirius had this almost insane look on his face when he told you?’
‘Well yes…’ if James is honest it was almost as if the person telling him about what he did was just somebody wearing Sirius' skin.
‘And only after he saw you hurt, did he, let's say “come back”?’
‘Yes…’
Regulus looks deep in thought, it looks like he’s trying to connect dots James can't even begin to see. He has to admit it's a little cute the way Regulus absently plays with his curls. The way his head is tilted a little bit, his lips mumbling things in a language James thinks is French but can't understand. And his eyes, looking in the night sky. Looking somewhere far a way until they snap back to James. A beautiful storm of grey, green and blue.
‘The full moon was 1,5 weeks ago, right?’ Regulus asks urgently.
‘yes…’James answers, confused.
‘Fuck…’ Regulus mumbles, which does nothing but confuses James more and scares him a little.
‘James, you have to watch out, he probably was not in the right state of mind. Probably locked his feelings up to deal with the grief of uncle Alfred.’ he says soft
‘What do you mean locked his feelings up?, the brunet asks, worrying for his one's best friend.
“It's a trick. I think I was like 6 when he taught me. Sirius is really good at it. You take everything you don't want her to find and put it in a box, than you bury that box deep inside of you, the younger boy explains.
‘Her?’
‘Her… mother… if, if she thinks you're hiding something she will uses legilimentie. Everything you dont hide away you will be punished for.’
James feels sick. He always knew Sirius's home situation was bad. But the fact that Sirius, and so thus Regulus, had to hide their thoughts away. The fact that even their minds were not safe.
‘That's sick.’ James says. James' stomach turns when he hears Regulus laugh. it's a lovely sound yes, but horrible because it's for something like this.
‘You tell me’ is the response he gets.
‘So if you know this, why are you still there?’ James asks
‘I can't leave.’ he says
‘Why. why cant you leave like Sirius did?!’ Nobody should have to stay there.
‘I just can't’
‘But why, I just don't understand? Sirius did it, could you just-’
‘I can't do it! I have nowhere to go! I'm totally dependent on them. Yes I have friends but that’s nothing like you have with my brother. If I leave and go to one of them, I will be back home before I could even count to ten. I can't leave.’
It hurts, it hurts to see Regulus in this light. He is all but a child in a toxic home.
Before James can even think of an answer to give, Regulus slides down the railing and walks away. "Regulus wait!’ James shouts, even though he knows it's useless. The boy is already gone. ‘Fuck’ how did James never think Regulus was also trapped? Why was he so worried of Sirius but never thought about the other child trapped in that house. Maybe it's even worse for Regulus, he is always with those people, if his own friends will give him back to his parents… if he’s surrounded by people that support his parents belief.
This is so fucked up. He needs to do something, James can't just sit by and watch