Of knowledge and responsibility
Sunlight filtered through the torn and solidly worn blinds that adorned Naruto's windows. Some panels were broken and some barely hanging onto their thin string for dear life. It was ironic really, how he could honestly relate to the fraying structure.
Sighing softly, he adjusted his jacket, the once deep red now a murky red-ish brown, faded and washed with age. The mirror in front of him was cracked, but functional, or at least, it did enough of its job to be salvageable. His blonde hair stuck out in odd directions, never settling into anything resembling order despite his best efforts at trying to tame his wild locks. His tanned skin looked pale in the light, the shadows around his eyes seemed to drill deeper into the crevices of his face, a testament to his countless sleepless nights. He supposed he looked presentable enough, not that he could get himself to care much.
Turning away from the murky, tired depiction his reflection showed, his gaze drifted to the bag hanging onto his chair. With careful, delicate movements, he picked up the small bag, its fabric too was worn. Yet, unlike his blinds, it was well cared for. No dust or unwanted stains marred its dark grey color and every tear had been meticulously mended. He imagined that Shisui would call him sentimental for holding onto it all these years.
His heart gave a pang at the memory, and he tried his best to stifle it down.
He’d worn this bag on his first day at the academy and he would wear it on his last.
He was eleven, an age he unwittingly associated with change, and although he would be turning twelve in a few weeks, he figured that this next step could still count as a rite of passage for himself.
It seemed that life had a funny way of drawing parallels within itself. Although, graduating from the ninja academy could never compete with the feeling of going to Hogwarts for the very first time.
His nerves were starting to bubble and fray though. He wasn’t worried about the written exams. Those he would ace, he was sure of it. However, the practical exams were a different matter altogether. With a heavy heart, he’d kept up with his training, and his taijutsu had only gotten better over the years. However, his chakra control was as volatile as ever.
In his own, ample unbiased defense, he’d finally learned how to access his chakra flow independently from his magic. However, his control left much to be desired.
And so, to his inner Hermione's dismay, his academic standing wasn't all he hoped it would be.
On a brighter note, and to his ever-growing pride, he could also, finally, manage weak, low-grade spells even if he sometimes found himself falling unconscious afterward. Nothing too strenuous though, he’d mastered Lumos and Nox and a couple of similarly low-tier charms. The ability to produce light when his electricity malfunctioned was a godsend and he would forever be grateful for it.
Over the years, with hours upon hours of meditating, he'd also found a way to work in tandem with his chakra in order to use some of his magic. His control was still nonexistent, but it was progress, and it was better than nothing. Or at least, that's what he told himself every time his energy faltered and drained in his endeavor to control his powers.
Sighing once more, he hefted the small back onto his shoulder and marched out the door. It would not do to make Iruka-sensei angry by being late.
The teacher had grown on him over the years, but he found himself unable to form any lasting connections. He’d effectively hid himself behind an invisible barrier. A metaphorical wall blocking out any unwanted bonds from forming. He preferred it this way, he told himself resolutely. Emotions and relationships were inconsequential and would only bring him pain in the end.
Iruka had taken his constant rebuttals relatively well, choosing instead to remain a well-intentioned and professional teacher despite Naruto’s cold demeanor. That, in itself, was more than enough.
Shikamaru, though, had been an entirely different matter. One Naruto wasn't in any hurry to inspect or try to unravel in its complexity. He'd do what he did best and has been doing for a while now. He would ignore it until it went away.
The academy gate was empty of any stragglers as he crossed them, which meant that he was, despite his best attempt not to be, still late. Hurrying his steps, he finally reached the designated exam room they’d been given the day before.
Whatever Iruka was in the middle of explaining before his entry halted, all eyes turning to him as he entered the room. Keeping his posture straight despite the sudden urge to huddle down and fold into himself, he calmly walked until he was standing with the group of students being lectured.
"Naruto, one more minute, and you wouldn't be allowed to take the exams." The teacher admonished, voice heavy with reprimand despite his soft voice.
“Come on Iruka-san.” Mizuki-Sensei, a recent addition to the academy staff, responded, voice drawn in an amused drawl. “Give the kid a break, won’t you.” Despite the smile on the man’s face and his kind words, the light didn’t seem to reach his eyes. It made something within his gut twist with mounting dread.
“As I was saying before we were interrupted.” Iruka continued, ignoring his coworker’s words. “Your written tests will begin shortly, followed immediately by your practicals, so be ready, stay calm, and do your best."
“Hai Sensei!” The group of students responded in tandem.
And so their final exams began.
_______________________________________
“How did you do Sasuke-kun?” Ino’s bright voice sounded as soon as they walked out, drawing the attention of most of the girls in their year. Sakura who had been shooting shy looks toward the raven-haired boy, had immediately taken it as her cue to butt in, asking her own desperate question with a similarly shrill voice.
The boy in question only hummed noncommittedly, barely acknowledging the group of rabid fangirls fawning over his every move.
Naruto watched this from his place at the back with a cool, tired gaze. Sasuke had always been a figure of great conflict to Naruto. One that drew out of him emotions he wasn’t ready to examine just yet. Ones he doubted he would ever be ready to face out in the open and head-on.
Looking at him was like looking at a distorted, broken window. One that would never show him what he truly longed to see. In short, looking at him hurt, a bone-deep ache that seemed to drill into his very bones, and so, Naruto did his best to avoid the boy.
Sasuke chose this moment to look over at him as if sensing his gaze. A sneer twisted his previously impassive features as he noticed the baby blue orbs watching him. Naruto always appeared to have that effect on him. It seems that no matter what he did, everyone was always meant to hate him for some reason or another.
Breaking away from the intense stare, he settled his attention back on the teachers calling for their attention. Ignoring another set of eyes that somehow always managed to watch him from a distance, he focused on Iruka’s explanation of the task ahead.
As Uzumaki and Potter luck would have it, their exam was to be centered on the Bunshin technique. A justu he never could get the hang of. To his ever-growing frustration.
Clenching his fist imperceptively at his side, he took in a deep breath and willed his nerves to settle back down. He would get through this, somehow.
One by one the students went in for their test, the waiting room methodically getting emptier with every passing minute. Naruto would be one of the last students to take his turn, the waiting only served to heighten his anxiety.
Finally, after what felt like forever, but couldn’t have been more than an hour, he was called into the classroom.
"Naruto-Kun, come on in," Mizuki called to him as soon as he opened the door. His voice was silky in its tone.
Iruka sent him a tentative smile, one that spoke of an attempted reassurance but altogether resembled barely concealed pity. "Naruto, your theoretical grades and your taijutsu marks are one of the highest in your year, but as you know, we cannot let you pass without seeing proof of proficiency in at least one of the ninjutsu given to you in your curriculum." His voice was soft, and his gaze was sad as if he'd already decided and known what the result of this exam would be. And maybe, Naruto contemplated with a hint of resignation, he did.
“The bunshin technique, if you will, Naruto.” Mizuki-Sensei urged, his smile not reaching his eyes.
Taking a deep breath, he let his eyes close in concentration as he imagined his chakra pathways opening up. He focused on creating a clone. Just one would do, he thought a little desperately.
Drawing his hands into the correct form, fingers crossing in front of him, he called out the Jutsu’s name, hearing his voice ring with an echo of power.
The familiar popping sound of his clone rang in the air and out of the smoke emerged a sickly rendition of himself. One that wobbled in its greyish hue and melted into the floor into a pathetic puddle, before popping out of existence once more.
"C-can I try again?" He asked, avoiding the teacher's pitying looks. Instead choosing to focus on the captivating cracks slithering through the floor tiles at his feet.
“Naruto…”
“Come on, Iruka, Let the kid try, he’s not hurting anyone.”
“I’m sorry Naruto, but I can’t pass you as you are right now. You would only be a liability in the field.”
Narrowing his eyes, Naruto tried to settle his emotions. Feeling his anger and frustration start to bubble over, he huffed in defeat. Looking at the teacher through dim, tired eyes, he tried one last time. “If I come back tomorrow and I can do at least one bunshin, would you let me graduate?”
"You've been trying to do this all year Naruto, I don't see how you can suddenly learn the technique in a day," Iruka responded tentatively, his eyes showing sincerity despite his harsh words.
“Give me one more day, please Sensei.” He needed to graduate, needed to gain as much freedom away from this blasted village as he could. And if becoming a ninja would lead him to have more control over his life, then that's what he needed to do.
“Sure Naruto, if you come back tomorrow having learned the bunshin technique, I’ll even give you my own headband as a reward. But this will be your last chance, alright?” The man conceded with a sigh, shaking his head as he got up, gathering his papers and headbands.
"Thank you." He did his best to ignore the shiver-inducing stares he felt bearing into his back as he walked out of the room.
As expected the field outside of the academy was filled with expectant parents. Crowds of loved ones here to congratulate or console their children as they graduate or fail.
He could see Sakura flanked by two grownups, both hugging her with tears in their eyes as she spoke excitedly of her exam. Not far ahead were Shikamaru’s own parents, talking quietly to the boy, their gaze solemn yet unwavering in their pride.
Naruto felt Shikamaru’s father's eyes flit briefly to him, noting the noticeable lack of a headband on his forehead before drifting back to his son as if none the wiser.
He hurried his steps after that, burrowing into the quiet forest near the field. The more he walked the harder it seemed to focus as he was finally able to let out his frustration and disappointment.
The leaves and rocks discarded around him trembled as his magic flared without his consent. An ache made itself known in his chest as he stifled the urge to scream. He settled on a fallen tree stump instead, hands burying themselves in his hair as he lowered his face between his knees. Taking deep measured breaths, he urged his magic to settle down, feeling the world draw back into focus the longer he stayed there.
He had one day, one day to figure out and accomplish what he couldn’t do in the past four years.
He was deceiving himself, he knew. There was no way he would magically and suddenly learn how to control his chakra overnight. He was screwed. Destined to remain stuck here, shunned and unwanted by the village.
Over the years he'd realized that being a ninja would, at least if nothing else, give him some semblance of respect and freedom. Not to mention, a steady income, hopefully.
His mind whispered unbidden that he was lying to himself. His motives weren’t at all practical. At least not entirely. Out of the corner of his eye, Shisui’s ghost shook his head at him, an echo of his wish to see him become a ninja, rising to the forefront of his mind.
With that depressing thought in mind. Naruto got to work. He’d practice until he dropped. And if that didn’t work, well… he could always just- disappear.
______________________________________
The sun had set a while ago, however, Naruto hadn’t paid enough attention to note the time. His body ached, his chakra still working at full force despite the hours he’d spent repeating the jutsu over and over again, his chakra reserve still felt unnaturally full.
It was something he'd noticed long ago. Compared to others his age, and sometimes even fully grown ninjas, he seemed to have larger chakra reserves. He could feel it, every time he meditated, the thrum of energy so large it prevented him from gaining any semblance of control over it.
He suspected in some capacity, that it was the reason why academy-level Jutsus such as the Bunshin were so hard for him to do. They required little to no chakra, after all, and so, he would have to control his output enough for the clone to not be oversaturated with chakra. A feat he was still incapable of accomplishing, to his great dismay.
“I was wondering where you’d run off to.” A voice suddenly exclaimed from somewhere behind him, making him turn, guard up at the sudden intrusion.
He hadn’t heard the man approach at all. He thought with trepidation, his guard instantly coming up.
“Mizuku-sensei… How did you find me?”
“I was looking for you obviously, and some of the students told me they’d seen you wander off in this direction.” The teacher explained lightly, “Were you training this entire time?”
Not knowing where this was going, Naruto only nodded his head slowly. Eying the man’s approaching figure with hesitance.
“I can help you, you know?” The Chunin began, “In fact, I know of an object that contains the solution to your problem, Naruto-kun.” And despite his trepidation and instincts, Naruto listened to the man’s words.
________________________________________
When Hiruzen went to work that night, wanting to get ahead in his paperwork, the last thing he expected to find was an intruder.
And yet, as he stepped into the warmth of his well-furnished Hokage’s office that is exactly what he found.
Tension rose in his posture and vanished a moment later as his eyes finally adjusted to the darkness, making out the form of one Naruto Uzumaki. And really, who else would have the courage, or more accurately, the audacity to break into his office and sit down in his chair as if it was his very own.
The boy in question hadn’t even lifted his gaze at the Hokage’s entrance. Head buried inside the scroll held comfortably in his hold. Engrossed in the material he was reading with a steely focus.
Clearing his throat, and feeling strangely as though he was the one intruding, Hiruzen finally managed to meet the boy's sky-blue orbs.
“Care to explain why you are breaking several village laws without any remorse, Naruto?” He resisted the urge to run a hand across his face, tired eyes boring into the boy to get his answers.
The boy took his words as his cue to finally put down the scroll within his grasp and it took Sarutobi a moment to realize just what scroll the kid had been reading.
"That is forbidden information Naruto!" His voice rose despite himself, worry and anger warring with each other as he regarded the child he'd come to care for over the years, despite their shaky relationship.
“Mhm, I figured as much, old man." The kid replied nonchalantly, gingerly hopping out of his chair and walking around the desk to lean on its surface.
“How did you even find out about it? This is a highly dangerous village secret Naruto! It is not to be trifled with. Any of the Jutsu’s you’ve read within this scroll could be lethal to yourself or those around you-!”
“What, like the village secret you promised to let me in on, once I graduated?” Seeing the older man’s tired gaze, Naruto sighed, all bravado leaving his figure as he let the tension seep out of his body. “Look, I know it’s against the rules or whatever, but would you have preferred it if I stole it and gave it to Mizuki like the idiot asked me to?”
As expected his words weren’t taken lightly. “Mizuki? Are you absolutely certain Naruto?” The Hokage exclaimed in shock. “This is a severe allegation to accuse someone of, we are speaking of treason here, do you understand?”
“If I didn’t then we wouldn’t be having this conversation, Hokage-sama.”
“Very well,” The Third worked through a series of gestures, summoning two anbu operatives in an instant, ordering them to detain the Chunin in question. They shunshined away a moment later, leaving the two alone once more. “I’ll handle him myself. However, the information you’ve acquired, Naruto, remains highly dangerous.”
“I only got to the Kage Bunshin before you interrupted me, and if you must know, it just happens to be exactly what I was looking for, in order to graduate.” He settled his fingers into the correct gesture and muttered a soft “Kage bunshin no Jutsu." Immensely satisfied as 10 clones popped into existence, filling the small room long enough to prove his point, before popping out of existence. "You knew that I would need higher-level jutsus didn't you? Whatever it is you're hiding from me, it affects my chakra doesn't it?" He tried and failed to keep the accusation out of his tone, but his anger and frustration had bubbled over by now.
Mizuki had tried to manipulate him, as if he was once again nothing but a small child, hanging onto any scraps of kindness any adult deemed him worthy enough to have. A small boy, willing to trust an old wizard in exchange for a reason to belong. He had taken great satisfaction in pretending to be enthralled by the Chunin’s suggestion. All the while, wanting nothing more than to hex the man into oblivion.
It was no wonder his instinct had been flaring in the ninja’s presence. He was a more pathetic version of Quirrel, it seemed. One that thankfully, didn’t have a dark lord sharing a body part with him.
“Sit down, Naruto. I believe it is high time we have this conversation. You have more than proven yourself ready for the responsibility.”
Chapter 14 already up here,