Hold on
Iruka doesn't know what to think, what to feel, or what to expect. He'd always wanted to teach, in fact, he'd been begging the Hokage for a spot at the academy. Having learned long ago that he wanted to play a hand in shaping the young, growing minds of the village’s most precious treasures. And yet, standing there, staring at the boy who’d held within him his most twisted nightmares, he didn’t know what to do.
How was one supposed to react, staring at such a creature? He remembers it oh so vividly, it makes his heart twist, his eyes clenching tight as if to dispel the horrid image, banish it from his thoughts and into the depth of his soiled mind. Six years ago, a monster had been unleashed and with its freedom, it had taken the people Iruka had loved most in this life. His safety, his worth, his warmth. All of it.
Staring at the vessel sitting in front of him, he can’t quite rid himself of the thought. Comparable to an incarnation of a mirage, tendrils alive and swaying twist their hold around the boy, making it hard to truly see anything other than what resides within him.
He’d been advised to disregard the boy, a nuisance worth no more than the flies he’d swat away during his lectures. One to be ignored and shunned. And yet, why was it so hard to do so?
The boy was quiet, withdrawn, never interrupting, and never trying to stand out. Somehow, he'd expected something entirely too different. Something about him unsettled Iruka to the core. And, to his ever-rising shock, it had nothing to do with the monster he stored within him.
Slowly, as if without him ever noticing anything different, he'd started seeing behind the pitch-black tendrils enveloping his vision.
What he found was in some ways, worse than what his troubled mind had conjured. Somehow, instead of the dark creature he'd fooled himself into seeing he'd discovered something far worse. As time went by, as he let himself open his eyes and really look at what was waiting before him, he finally got to see what he'd been hiding from his very own perception. A twisted mirror image, rippling like the murky waters of a running river, was a reflection of himself. One so small, and very much alone.
It made his insides twist, palms clenching with the need to push the entire thing away, expel it from his attention, and go back to his cowardly ignorance.
Because surely, the source of his most vivid, heart-wrenching nightmares wasn't this small, lonely child.
"-Sensei?" The words snapped him out of his daze, his face hot with the sudden realization that he'd been standing there, frozen solid while staring at his student. Looking away, noting the hunched shoulders and the stiffness of his posture, he resolved himself to proceed with the lesson without any more life-altering realizations.
“Sorry, Sakura-chan, could you repeat that?” He answered, keeping his voice light despite the trembling of his fingers, thankfully hidden within his sleeves.
“You were asking who wanted to go up to the board for the next question, can I do it.” She wasn’t really asking, he thought with slight amusement.
"Sorry Sakura, but you've answered the last two haven't you? Why don't we let your classmates have a turn too? I'm sure some of them would like to." He'd barely finished his sentence before multiple arms shot up high. Letting his gaze wash over the little ninjas in the making, he readied himself for what he was about to do. Breathing in deeply through his nose, he plastered a smile onto his face, overlooking the sea of hands for the only figure sitting with both arms down. Blonde strands swayed with the slight breath trickling into the classroom through the open window, drawing attention to the deep blue of the boy's eyes as they parted and collided.
“H-how about you, Naruto?” He hated how his voice broke, betraying the discomfort he felt. “Would you like to give it a go?” The boy in question jumped at being so suddenly singled out. Eyes wide with shock as for the first time since Iruka stepped into the classroom a week ago, addressed him directly, even if a little hesitantly.
As if to emphasize his bewilderment, or maybe to prove to Iruka how much of an idiot he's been, the boy turned around, as if to check for some other student sitting at the back of the class. One that shared his name and wasn't usually ignored and overlooked.
The question of ‘Me?’ So clear on his young face, made something in his chest constrict painfully.
“Of course, Profes- I- I mean s-sensei." He fumbled, rising to his feet, and walking up to the board. His steps were slow and tentative, as if afraid of suddenly stepping on a minefield. And Iruka supposed, that’s what he’s been doing for his entire academic experience. Treading a dangerous minefield, afraid that any wrong move would turn against him, break whatever fragile foothold he’d gotten all on his own.
The question in itself wasn’t a particularly hard one, however, it was tricky if one hadn’t paid attention to Iruka’s lecture. A question meant to test the attentiveness of his students.
Having ignored the child before him for so long, he expected the sentiment to be reciprocated. He wouldn’t have taken it personally, knowing that he deserved to get just as much as he gave. Naruto had no reason to listen to a teacher who didn’t acknowledge his existence. And so, when the boy completed the required assignment and answered without much fanfare, he was dumbstruck.
He'd made a lot of mistakes in his life. He doesn't think he's even been more wrong than right in this instance, however.
"Good job, Naruto." He praises softly, feeling the words drop like lead in his stomach. The boy drops the chalk back onto its resting place, already making his way back to his back seat. One he occupied alone.
He doesn’t miss the wide-eye look in his eyes. Still seemingly stupefied by Iruka’s basic human decency.
Like wisps of a dying flame, he sees the final tendrils of darkness release the boy, disappearing into nothingness, leaving behind a lonely, brilliant child in their wake.
___________________________________
After that day, Naruto could safely say that his academic experience had greatly improved. It made him wonder what happened to Iruka-Sensei to suddenly change his tune so thoroughly. Going from ignoring Naruto's existence entirely with hate-filled eyes to treating him like any other student. He soon found himself being called upon regularly, his grades improving greatly as he was finally graded fairly and with no contempt. His classmates must have sensed the change, for they too started treading more carefully around him in class. As if sensing now, that the teacher wouldn’t let any bullying slide now that he started treating Naruto like a normal kid.
Naruto had Shikamaru to thank for all of this. If it wasn’t for the Nara, he’d still be stuck with Jiro-Sensei’s brand of treatment. He wondered how he could make it up to the kid.
He still hesitated to call their relationship an actual friendship. He tried to avoid interacting with the boy when there were eyes around them. Being seen in public with him would be social suicide, and in no way would he let himself become a liability to one of the few kind people in his life.
And so, their interactions remained very rare and few in between. Shikamaru himself didn't seem to get the message, however. Always tried to talk to him during breaks or when he spotted him walking along the village road. He'd have to try harder to avoid him, in the future.
Shikamaru had plenty of friends, he didn’t need Naruto’s brand of awkward friendship. The Akamichi kid who never seemed to leave his side was one example of said friends.
Besides, Naruto was currently more preoccupied with Itachi and Shisui’s recent abnormal behavior. They’d been pulling away for months, their missions and work getting busier and somewhat more serious as time trickled by. Naruto could see it in the spark that ever so slowly dimmed in the older men’s eyes. The once vibrant Shisui slowly turned more solemn with time. He could feel it in the sad aura that seemed to loom over Itachi on the best of days. They'd still drop by relatively often but somehow it felt as though they were stretching further and further out of his grasp.
Somehow, for once, he didn’t think it was anything that he’d done. He doesn’t know if that made everything worse or not.
In short, he was worried. More so with every passing day.
It’s been weeks now since he’d seen Shisui. Even Itachi, sitting in front of him, munching on his dango- a sweet that Naruto never expected the older boy to be so fond of- seemed distracted. His gaze was troubled, looking as if his mind was miles away. The teen had dropped by to give Naruto his groceries for the week, having stayed after some light pleading, content to sit with him in contemplative silence as they both ate.
His eyes kept switching from the table to the window and back as if he was expecting something to pop right into the room from there.
“So, Shisui-ni was busy tonight?” The ‘again’ was left unspoken. They both knew it hadn’t been the first time Naruto asked about the other teen in the past few days.
Itachi only hummed, eyes lowering just slightly to face him before switching back to the glass separating them from the night sky outside.
"What's going on with you guys?" He finally asked, feeling more than a little lost, and frustrated. He never liked being kept in the dark. "You keep saying I should come to you if there's something wrong, but you guys never tell me anything." He continued, voice rising as he left his food untouched, standing up from his seat in an effort to ease some of the tension he could feel building in his shoulders. The lights above him flickered momentarily.
“That’s different, Naruto, you know that.” Itachi seemed to finally focus back on him. Voice soft, sounding even more exhausted than he looked.
“Why? –cause I’m just a kid, right?” He asked mockingly, hating the way his voice cracked with youth. If only the other teen knew what he’d seen, what he’d lived through, what he remembered. “You know I’m not helpless, if you guys talked to me, maybe I could help!”
Itachi’s figure seemed to tense even more at his words, sighing heavily as he regarded him through tired eyes. “You don’t need to worry yourself, Naruto.” He started. “Everything will be alright.” The words seemed to pain him to say, as if he himself was having trouble believing them. It made something within his heart constrict and twist.
At that exact moment, a crow knocked against the apartment window. Instantly drawing both their attentions to it. It was one of Itachi’s summons, that he had no doubt. However, what was strange was the paper tied onto the bird’s leg.
Sliding the glass upward, the ninja didn’t waste any time unwrapping the parchment, dark eyes narrowing as he read whatever was etched onto it.
In the somber depths of the forest, Naruto trailed in silent pursuit of Itachi, like a shadow chasing its elusive host through the dimly lit, ancient woods. His steps were as soft as whispers, a dance with the leaves underfoot, for the gravity of the moment demanded it. He watched Itachi clench a piece of parchment, a tense grip that crumpled the paper, the harbinger of fate. Unspoken words hung in the air, shrouded in an ethereal veil.
"Shisui," he heard Itachi murmur, his voice a mere sigh, an intimate secret shared with the rustling leaves. The crumpled paper, clenched within a fist, betrayed his inner turmoil, a silent cry for help that Naruto could not ignore. "I have to go, Naruto," Itachi declared, already moving away, his dark eyes carrying the weight of secrets too profound. "Stay here," he commanded, heedless of the parchment left behind in his haste.
With dread washing over him like a chilling wave, Naruto wasted no time unraveling the paper and beholding its contents, a message in the familiar script of Shisui. The words on the parchment seemed to mock him: "Meet at the usual place, RED." It was clear that urgency hung in the balance, demanding his attention. Worry and fear welled up within him as he wracked his brain for any trace of this mysterious place, a location that bore significance to both Itachi and Shisui.
Unbidden, a memory surfaced, a recollection of the three of them training on a tranquil evening. Shisui had spoken with reverence about a particular locale, a place of breathtaking beauty nestled beside a forest clearing adorned with a majestic waterfall, a sanctuary for exercise and sparring. Hope began to stir in Naruto's heart as he trusted his intuition and quickly donned his shoes, racing toward the unknown destination.
As he sped through the forest, his thoughts whirled in a chaotic frenzy. Could this cryptic message be leading to an ordinary rendezvous between friends, or was it a clandestine meeting to discuss ninja matters? His legs burned with the exertion, but the months of arduous training had prepared him for this very moment. Itachi would have reached the destination long before, and Naruto couldn't afford to arrive late, not knowing what might befall his friend in the meantime.
The forest's embrace deepened, the moonlight barely piercing the dense canopy. The foliage conspired to obscure the heavens, plunging Naruto into an eerie darkness. His lungs seared with every breath, but he pressed on. At last, he glimpsed the clearing ahead, the sound of rushing water drawing closer as he approached the cascading waterfall.
Stumbling to a halt just a few meters from his destination, Naruto gasped for air and steadied his racing heart. He veiled himself in shadows, employing every covert technique the Anbu had imparted to him. Creeping closer, he could hear their voices before he could see them. Two silhouettes engaged in hushed conversation, their words indecipherable.
Climbing a tree to secure a vantage point, Naruto's eyes widened as the heart-wrenching tableau unfolded before him. Itachi's back concealed Shisui, yet the sight that met Naruto's gaze nearly caused him to falter. Shisui's face was marred by blood, his closed eyes bleeding a dark, macabre red. The crimson rivulets traced tortured paths down his pale cheeks, a grotesque contrast against the obsidian night.
A wave of fear and concern washed over Naruto as he witnessed the battered state of his friend and older brother. Every word that Shisui spoke felt like a dagger plunged into his heart. "Tell him I'm sorry too, I never meant for it to end like this," Shisui's words resonated with a haunting finality. As if compelled by an invisible force, Shisui's body succumbed, falling backward.
Naruto's scream pierced the silence of the forest, a primal cry born from the depths of his soul. He was thrust into a nightmarish maelstrom, reality blurring with his deepest fears as Shisui's body was replaced with the falling figure of a loved one, swallowed by a translucent, spectral vortex.
Within Naruto, an inferno of emotion ignited, and his magic surged, a tempestuous force clamoring to be unleashed. His entire being felt as if it were aflame, nightmares transmuting into a horrifying reality. One moment he clung to the tree branch, and the next he was there, extending his arm, fingers outstretched to grasp Shisui's descending form, desperate to secure even a fragment of his friend.
In an instant, he realized he had Apparated, but his small form couldn't bear the weight of Shisui. Two arms encircled his legs, arresting his descent by a fraction, but the pain seared through him as his body collided with the unforgiving rocks below. His fingers clutched Shisui's hand as though it were a lifeline, nails gouging into pale flesh, eyes wide with despair.
"Hold on!" he cried out, tears streaming down his face, vision blurred as he fought to prevent Shisui from plummeting to his demise. His bones creaked under the unbearable strain, teetering on the precipice of failure.
"Naruto..." The Uchiha's voice quavered with shock and sorrow, his expression crumbling as he realized who had caught him. "I'm sorry." Shisui's trembling fingers reached into a pouch, bewildering Naruto as they drew forth a kunai and slashed at his own hand. The sudden pain in Naruto's hand was eclipsed by the agony in his heart as Shisui slipped from his grasp like sand slipping through his fingers. "Goodbye," the whispered words brushed against his ears, while Naruto felt as though he, too, was sinking into the abyss, vanishing within the raging waters.
Naruto's hand clenched and unclenched, struggling to accept the void where Shisui had been. Was this reality?
Something pulled at his legs, yanking him back onto the rocky ledge. He writhed against the restraining arms, scratching and clawing, his throat raw from cries of anguish. "Let me go, let me go, let me go," he chanted, the words etching themselves into his very soul. The arms held him steadfast, unwilling to yield to his demands. "We have to save him! He's down there! Let me go!" The thundering water roared in his ears, mingling with the labored breath of the boy who held him. "P-please!"
Itachi forcibly turned Naruto to face him, their eyes locking amidst the chaos. Blurred vision met dark, abyssal eyes, vivid with mirrored sorrow, and something else—an unfathomable enigma embedded in the symbols that danced in Itachi's red, bleeding eyes.
"Stop," Itachi said, his voice still gentle despite the tempest Naruto saw in his eyes. His hands rose to cradle Naruto's face, a touch that felt harsher than any they had ever shared. "He's gone." The words pained both of them, stabbing Naruto's heart. Itachi's fingers trembled but refrained from offering further solace. "He's gone, and there's nothing we can do."
Red-hot anger ignited in Naruto's chest, a fury that raged within him. His words burst forth before he could restrain them. "W-why did he—why didn't you stop him!" He shouted, pushing Itachi's hands away, creating a chasm between them. His words tore down the walls that had protected Itachi's emotions, and he instantly regretted them.
"I'm sorry," Itachi whispered, his hands reaching out but recoiling a moment later, as if fearing further rejection. And Naruto was sorry, too, with every fiber of his being.
As the adrenaline finally receded, exhaustion washed over Naruto, draining the energy from his body. Dark spots danced in his vision, his magic retreating to its depths, leaving him in a state of excruciating pain. Moments later, he crumpled to the ground, almost lifeless in the face of overwhelming despair.
Chapter 11 and soon 12 up on the link in my bio