Reminiscence

The light shines almost tentatively through the curtains as if the sun itself had been reluctant to rise through the clouds that marred the sky. Naruto bustles around the kitchen, knowing that given the last few week's routine, he should be expecting a knock right about-

As if on clockwork, two small knocks ring out through the door into his tiny apartment.

It wasn't a surprise to Naruto, however, given that Itachi had been delivering him groceries every three days for two weeks now. It somehow never failed to make him feel unequivocally grateful and infuriated at the same time. The two feelings warred together, a contradiction that persisted and stuck with him for the rest of his day.

His neck prickles and he knows he’s being watched.

Huffing in exasperation he mumbles a sincere thank you before shuffling back into his kitchen. It would seem that if he wanted things to change, he would have to make it happen himself. Pulling his sleeves up to his elbows, he kicked the stool until it slid under the stove and got to work.

His movements were methodical and familiar as he turned the burner, pouring ingredient after ingredient without conscious thought. It was only three-quarters through the recipe that he realized that what he was cooking was not something anyone in the elemental countries had probably heard about. His chest ached at the smell of Mrs. Weasly’s signature family recipe.

He remembers the day she called him out into the kitchen, intent on teaching it to him, knowing that none of her older children would be any good at it.

Blinking back the prickling at the back of his eyes, he shook his head, as if trying to forcibly get rid of the memory. He couldn't help but wonder if Ron and Hermione were somehow still out there, somewhere, in a different universe, getting on with their lives. He hoped so.

He doesn’t remember his death but he had a pretty good idea of what happened, given the events that preceded it. Those, he remembered vividly.

Stirring the porridge, he climbed back down, taking three plates out of his cupboard. They were mismatched and cracked in a couple of places. An unavoidable consequence of scavenging for utilities outside of stores and marketplaces.

Deciding that it wouldn’t matter much to his intended guests, he turned to set the rest of the table.

Gathering whatever courage his Gryffindor soul possessed, he inhaled and spoke out loud. Louder than probably necessary, not that he cared much.

“I know your there,” He started, feeling a little dumb as the silence remained. “S-so you might as well come out and join.” He persevered, knowing that it had to be done, if only for his sanity. “You too Shisui!”

To his satisfaction, something outside his windowsill shifted, as if whoever was out there got startled.

When a beat passed by and nothing happened, he couldn’t stop the disappointment from pooling in his guts. Maybe, they just didn’t want to interact with him. It was just a mission after all. Protecting him did not entail ever interacting with him. Getting him groceries because he couldn’t do it himself was already going overboard.

He was really pathetic, wasn’t he?

Sighing dejectedly, he stacked the two extra plates back up, fingers trembling as he turned to put them back.

“Oi, what are you doing with those?” A voice startled him, making him drop the plates just as he was climbing the stool to reach the cupboard. He squeezed his eyes shut, bracing for the inevitable screech of broken ceramic but nothing happened.

Opening one eye reluctantly, he was faced with Itachi-san’s dark, serious eyes. The pre-teen was looking at him with something akin to worry as he stood up from his crouch, plates held safely in his grasp.

“Sorry...” Shisui offered, hand rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “Wait!” He exclaimed, having a sudden epiphany. “Does this mean you don’t want us to eat with you?” If Naruto didn’t know better, he would’ve thought there was a hint of sadness in the older boy’s voice. It couldn’t be though, surely not. “It smells so good though, can’t we stay for a bite?”

“Don’t pressure him, Shisui.” Itachi reprimanded softly.

Shisui opened his mouth to argue but was cut off by Naruto’s low, hesitant voice. “Its fine, you don’t have to pretend, I know you guys have better things to do. You don’t have to stay, I-“He faltered slightly before continuing, “I can put them in containers for you to take with you if you’re hungry. I made enough for three.”

“Hey, what do you mean pretend?” Shisui asked, walking until he was standing next to Itachi, facing him. Naruto clenched his fingers tightly before letting go after a breath.

“Look, I know you’re doing this because the Hokage ordered it, so you don't have to act like it's something more than what it is. It's a- a mission, just a mission. So, you don't have to watch me all the time, or- or get me groceries and talk to me at all." He busied himself with getting one container from the shelf, turning to scour the cabinet for any other plastic box he could use to give to the other. He really didn't want to see the inevitable relief that would wash over their features. He’d given them both an out, now, all they had to do was take it.

“Naruto,” Shisui’s voice was hard as he spoke, the lack of endearment made Naruto pause, knowing that the older boy was serious.

Hesitantly looking back to meet the other’s gaze, he was disconcerted at the grave expression on his face. Up until that moment, he’d never seen the Uchiha’s face hold anything but a smile.

“If we didn’t want to be here, we wouldn’t be.” He continued, enunciating each word carefully, as if to make sure Naruto would understand.

“But the Hokage-“

"Only permitted us to protect you if you were ever in danger. And only because we were adamant.” Itachi finished. Crouching in front of him, movements slow as if he were approaching a wounded animal. “And we already talked about this, didn’t we?” Shrinking in on himself, suddenly feeling his age, Naruto nodded hesitantly. “I know we don’t know each other well yet, and we know that trust isn’t something freely given, but could you, perhaps, give us a chance to prove ourselves?”

“O-okay, I- I’m sorry.” He mumbled, uncomfortable with the stiffness gathered within their small circle.

“It’s alright Naru-chan, you can make it up to us with food.” The older Uchiha said seriously, breaking the tension once again.

“O-of course!” Feeling lighter the before, he hurried to take the plates back from Itachi, setting them back to their rightful place on the table.

The chairs were small, meant for someone just slightly bigger than the five-year-old, but the two didn't seem to mind, as they squeezed onto their seats, waiting patiently for Naruto to serve them their food.

“Itadakimasu’’ Warmth pooled in his chest at the words, having always wanted to say that in the presence of someone else.

“This is so good!” Shisui exclaimed, making exaggerated motions with is arms, “Who taught you to cook Naru-chan?”

“N-no one.” He answered reluctantly, remembering the countless trial and errors at the Dursleys’. Recalling the many nights spent nursing tiny burnt hands and injured fingers. He’d learned the dangers of a kitchen the hard way. If he concentrates, he can still hear Aunt Petunia’s shrill voice echoing in his ears, yelling at him for ruining breakfast or spoiling their lunch. “It was either that, or starve, you know?” He mumbled conversationally, taking another spoonful of porridge.

So focused on his task, he missed the devastated expressions that flitted across the Uchiha’s faces, along with the determined look they shared.

Only now noticing the tension he’d brought back to the table, he hurried to change the subject. “Ah- but I like cooking, it’s relaxing, you know? I don’t mind it at all.”

“Well, I suppose we’ll have to come by more often to try it out.” Itachi offered kindly. His statement was confirmed by his companion's plate being thrust towards the smaller boy, asking for a second helping while nodding enthusiastically.

Both of them promised then and there that they wouldn’t let the younger boy worry about such things anymore. Food wouldn’t remain a rarity. They would make sure of it.

___________________________________

“So,” Shisui said casually, as they were cleaning up, the two insisting they do all the work since the younger boy had cooked. “Are you excited to start the academy in two months?”

“Not really.” He answered, fiddling with the loose treads of his shirt.

“Would you like to talk about it?” Itachi who had been drying the dishes passed to him by Shisui, turned to face Naruto, watching him carefully and patiently.

“Most of the kids there are going to be way ahead of me, you know? I’m not a clan kid, most of the things I know are things I taught myself, and it’s just-” He took a breath, frustrated with his fluctuating emotions. “I’m going to be super behind everyone else.”

“You don’t have to worry about that Naruto-chan, the whole point of going to the academy is learning about new things. Your future sensei’s job will be to teach you everything you need to know.” Shisui replied easily, washing away the last of the soap from his hands.

“If you really want to be prepared, we could train you.” Itachi offered, leaning against the kitchen’s wall, gaze analyzing him closely.

“T-train me? But you-”

"That's not a bad idea, we could make him a training schedule, make sure to train his stamina, and help him gain some muscle. We only have two months so we won't be able to start him on chakra exercises yet, but we could maybe fit in some hand-to-hand combat lessons, and let's not forget weapons training-" To Naruto's amazement and increasing worry, the older Uchiha seemed to dissolve into a muttering fit, planning out an entire training schedule before Naruto could even begin to make sense of the conversation.

Panic seethed him as the words slowly but surely overwhelmed him. He couldn’t let them do this. He was already wasting enough of their time. He was being selfish and inconsiderate even thinking about accepting their kind offer. Without really meaning to, he drowned out the world around him, getting lost in the growing spiral forming within his mind.

Something tapped against his forehead and he startled out of his reverie, looking up to meet Itachi’s kind, worried gaze. “Would you like us to train you, Naruto-kun?”

In that moment, despite every instinct in his body and mind screaming at him to refuse, to tell them they shouldn’t be bothering with him. To say no.

He found himself uttering the words "Yes, please." As if on autopilot. He wondered briefly if perhaps his magic was controlling him, maybe he'd accidentally cast an imperious charm on himself. But alas, his magic was still buried deep within him, out of reach.

Maybe, he later contemplated, when the sun has faded from the sky and he was back to the silence of his empty apartment. Maybe, he’d found a little Slytherin ambition buried deep within him and luckily, had the Gryffindor courage to seize an opportunity when it was presented to him.

_____________________

“Come on Naruto-Chan! We're burning sunlight!" Shisui’s voice was drowned out by his heaving breath, and the blood pumping and pulsating in his ears. He wondered if perhaps he shouldn’t have accepted after all. His entire body ached, he’d only been training for two weeks, and it felt like his muscles would give out on him at any second. Dropping to the ground, he laid on the ground panting, trying to reinstate some oxygen back into his lungs. For a moment, he could imagine himself taking a nice nap while watching the clouds above.

“Gotta admit, kid, you’ve got quite the stamina. Most would already be passed out by now.” Shisui praised sincerely, dropping to sit next to him. ”You’re training must be paying off.”

His training consisted of working on stamina and building muscles by running laps around the village and various training exercises Itachi had shown him a few days ago. His mornings consisted of solo training while two days a week, one of the two boys would join him for an afternoon sparring session. Although they hadn't done any actual sparring yet. Most of their afternoons until now, like this one, consisted of running through different katas and learning different hand-to-hand combat positions and techniques with Shisui. On the other hand, his days with Itachi consisted of weapons training, teaching him how to use Kunais and Shiruken and how to throw them properly.

The two would switch off depending on their schedules, giving him the chance to learn from both of them while also maintaining their missions outside of the village.

He wonders how the war could have changed if he had given his physical training more thought back then, at Hogwarts. All those times he found himself disarmed and wandless…

His favorite part of the week, however, was Sundays. Every Sunday without fail, both ninjas would join him for training. Shisui was also planning on adding Kenjustu to the schedule if he continued to improve the way he was. To his frustration, the older boy was adamant about starting with wooden sticks, keeping to beginner katas for now. Afterward, they would all go to Naruto’s apartment for lunch. He cherished those rare hours when they could just sit and enjoy each other's company.

They wouldn’t be able to do this forever though, Naruto knew. Itachi was trying to join the Anbu in a few weeks, right as he was scheduled to start the academy, and they were both busy enough as it was. It was a wonder they managed to make time for him at all.

However, despite what others might think, physical training was not all he was doing.

Until now, his magic had been evasive and unreachable. Despite his greatest efforts, he couldn’t figure out why that was.

That is, at least, until he asked Itachi to explain to him chakra theory.

It seemed that until he learned to differentiate and control his chakra, he wouldn’t be able to reach any of his power. It frustrated him to no end, but he kept at it. Shutting himself off from the world every chance he got in order to work on clearing his mind and meditating.

Shisui had also promised that they’d get to do chakra control exercise once he started the academy.

All in all, despite the straining muscles and aching joints, he could already feel himself getting stronger. In fact, Naruto has never felt more alive, more useful, in this lifetime, at least.