Pink Paper
Regulus’ POV
Regulus had endured two weeks of torture as he ignored Potter; such as skipping meals, never traveling alone, and so on. The problem wasn’t that he wanted to see Potter, but it was the fact that Potter wanted to see him.
There had been notes left in his bag (somehow), some handed to him by the elves in the kitchens, other times he’d get them in the mail. One time he’d tried giving Regulus a note via Sirius, but did not attempt it a second time for the week-long hex his friend had to endure.
Potter had been sending several a day, and wouldn’t stop. There was simply a stack of little pink slips of paper accumulating on Regulus’ desk and it was driving him mad.
Sirius and him had also been working to find whoever was messing with Snape and Potter, so when he wanted to speak with Sirius in the library, sometimes Potter would show up looking for the older boy.
Honestly, Regulus just didn’t want to see him. Didn’t want to be reminded.
Regulus woke up, a slight pounding in his head and the sun shining directly into his eyes. Everything was blurry and bright and he didn’t quite know what was going on. Someone moved to block the sun. They said something he didn’t understand, and he grumbled in response.
“Reg, get up,” the person shoved him lightly. It was James’ voice, but then, what was he doing in Regulus’ bed? He didn’t have a window either.
Regulus grudgingly sat up as the world came into focus and he found himself met with a warm cozy room decked out in red and gold.
“You slept for so long, are you sore?” James reached out and touched his arm. Regulus recoiled, making James jump back. “Sorry,” he mumbled.
“Fuck,” Regulus groaned, remembering the feeling of James’ dark curls stuck between his fingers.
What the hell was he doing? There weren’t enough details to make out the situation, and he worried he’d tried to harm the boy.
“I could get you some tea,” James offered as he stood.
“That would be great, actually,” Regulus nodded as he massaged his forehead.
“Alright, I’ll be back soon,” and the door clicked shut behind the Gryffindor.
Regulus trudged up the stairs to the third floor, finding his way to the library. Sirius had asked that they meet there and had written some sort of code, but Regulus hadn’t enough time to decode it.
The little square of parchment was still folded in his pocket and he slipped it out, unfolding it and smoothing the wrinkles as if it would help. On it was Sirius' poorly scrawled writing, still legible however, and the random string of letters he assumed formed a sentence.
Regulus looked it over a few more times, replacing it in his pocket when the doors were in view. He pushed them open, made sure they closed quietly, and headed to the back of the library to his and Sirius’ usual table. It was secluded and quiet, ideal for their uses. Plus, Regulus liked the homey feel of the spot.
“Reggie!” Sirius exclaimed, although quietly, when he approached, throwing out his hands.
“Hello,” Regulus greeted, sitting across from his brother.
“Did you get my note?” Sirius asked, leaning on the table with excitement.
“Yes, but I didn’t have time to decode it,” Regulus trailed off when he saw the look on Sirius's face.
“Decode?” He asked, puzzled.
“Don’t tell me your writing’s that bad,” Regulus said, holding back a smile. He was slightly embarrassed and hoped to turn it back on Sirius.
Sirius gaped at him. “Excuse you? My handwriting is just fine, thank you very much,” he said with the usual joking sass. “It’s fine if you didn’t “decode” it,” Sirius said with air quotes and leaned back in his chair. “I’ll just tell you anyway.”
“Well, go on, then,” Regulus urged him after a moment of silence.
“I know who it is, and I think I know why,” Sirius gave him an almost sinister grin. Regulus furrowed his brows with concern but let him continue. “Dumbledore. He knows something, and he’s pitting them against each other. Not that he has to, but, you know how he is,” Sirius rolled his eyes and Regulus nodded.
“What does he know?” Regulus asked, almost sure that Sirius already knew the answer.
“Trelawney told him a prophecy. It was something about the sun being eaten by a snake, or maybe it was the parents being killed by a rat? I don’t know. I snuck up on them in my animagus form and she just started spewing stuff,” Sirius shrugged.
“I need something solid, Sirius,” Regulus sighed. “We can’t go throwing accusations with the basis of a flimsy prophecy that you don’t even remember.”
“Sorry, it’s just really hard to recall. It was a really long one, y’know,” Sirius pressed his lips together in thought while the younger boy waited patiently. “I believe it was something like “Flower and Sun, together at last, the Snake will fall after being harassed. From darkness will appear a rat of bad omen, who will cause the parents death and blah blah blah, I don’t know,” Sirius threw up his hands and shook his head. “Prophecies are stupid.”
“I agree, but we’ve got to know it to get into Dumbledore's head. I assume the snake is Snape, easy one there, and the sun could be James,” Regulus trailed off. “I’m not sure about the parents, flower, or rat. Was there anything else?”
“Oh, yeah, there was, but she whispered it in his ear and then conked out.”
“Dammit,” Regulus cursed under his breath. “I guess we’ve just got to confront Dumbledore, don’t we?”
“Confront him? No way, I’m not doing that,” Sirius shook his head aggressively.
“We have to do something, Sirius, and that is at the top of my list. What are your ideas?” He looked at him with annoyance and crossed his arms. When Sirius didn’t respond, he continued. “Just the other day someone put amortentia in Snapes food and made him fall in love with James’ owl,” Regulus gave him a pointed look. “James was blamed because it was his owl, but why would he do that? I know for a fact James would’ve made him fall for Filch.”
Sirius covered his mouth to muffle laughter. “I wish! That would’ve been so funny,” he frowned, disappointed.
“So,” Regulus said. “What are your ideas?”
“Prank him, duh,” Sirius rolled his eyes. “We could hex him, which wouldn’t last, or give him poly juice in return for the incident earlier. If you want to go the extra mile, veritaserum.”
“That’s illegal,” Regulus said carefully, his voice falling to an almost inaudible whisper.
“Sure, but how would he know we did it?” Sirius raised a brow, matching his brother's volume. “Just use that genius brain of yours and figure something out,” he said as he stood and slid his chair back in.
“That’s a lot of pressure,” Regulus frowned.
“You’ll be fine,” Sirius said as he patted Regulus on the shoulder and strode out of the library, whistling some song he didn’t recognize.
“Sure,” Regulus scoffed when he was gone. He stood and decided to use the time to find a book. Now that he was in silence again and back with his own thoughts, his mind wandered to Potter.
“Here you are,” James said as he handed Regulus a steaming cup of tea. “Feeling any better?”
“No,” Regulus spat. He immediately felt bad about his tone and glanced up at James, but he was met with a warm smile instead of the hurt expression he expected. “You’re too kind for your own good,” Regulus muttered and sighed.
“What was that?” James asked as he sat down on the bed, and Regulus found himself painfully aware of their knees almost touching.
“Hm?” Regulus asked as though nothing had been said.
“I’m too nice, huh?” James smirked.
Regulus swallowed some of the tea, letting it warm his chest and throat. “Yes, you are,” he stated simply and set the tea down on James’ bedside table.
James tilted his head, his curls falling to one side, and watched Regulus with a crooked smile.
“What is it?” Regulus asked, laughing away his nerves. Suddenly he remembered a feeling. Not a moment, or anything like that, but he knew how he’d felt last night. Had they..? No. They couldn’t have.
“You’re just so,” James spent a moment searching for a word and within that time Regulus understood what had probably gone down. Not that he knew anything for sure, but it all seemed to add up and he was suddenly aware that his shirt was unbuttoned and his hair was a mess and he wondered if he looked stupid. “Breathtaking,” James finally said.
Regulus' gaze fluttered down to his lips. Back to his eyes. Merlin, they weren’t much better. “Have you seen yourself?” He asked, almost whispering, and leaned closer to James.
Regulus managed to find a book of interest among the thousands in the library. It was a fictional story, rare for the Hogwarts library, about werewolves. Seemed like a thriller of some sort, but when Regulus opened it he found it to be written in a rather intellectual sense and decided he’d give it a try.
Maybe he’d give it to Remus just to have a laugh. That might be too far, though. He’d have to decide later.
Regulus shook his head, smiling, “James, stop.”
“No,” James whined, hugging the younger boy's waist and planting a kiss on his cheek.
“James,” Regulus said firmly.
James looked up at him with sad eyes while a goofy grin filled the rest of his face. “What is it?” He asked innocently, as if he was unaware of the complications which would follow this thing.
“You don’t think,” Regulus trailed off, his mouth hanging open. “No,” he said. “No,” and he pried James from him. “No, stop, stop it,” Regulus said hoarsely as he stood and frantically buttoned his shirt.
The look of hurt on James’ face made him want to cry, he wanted to fall to the floor and sob because James looked like someone had just told him his puppy died and it was James for Melins sake.
“Reg, hey,” he said gently from his spot on the bed.
Merlin, why are you so sweet? Regulus thought with frustration as he glared down at the Gryffindors warm gaze, brown eyes searching his. You’re too good for me, he thought and hurried for the door.
The cold emulating from the stones seemed to chill Regulus to the bone, walking back from the seemingly warm library. It wasn’t sunny, but it wasn’t snowing either. The sky was gray with clouds and the leaves had fallen, for the most part, scattering the ground with death.
Everything was just so empty that day, so full of regret, and Regulus felt the brunt of it.
-~-~-~-~-~-~-
Barty leaned back on the sofa, his hands folded behind his neck. Regulus was across from him in the commons, which were empty because of the Ravenclaw/Gryffindor game currently taking place. Sometimes Regulus thought it funny Slytherins were friends with so many Ravenclaw, but it sort of made sense. Intellect and power seem to go hand in hand, afterall.
It was the day after Sirius had told him to use veritaserum and he’d decided to consult Barty. Less because he was the best choice, and more because he was the only person Regulus could trust that wasn’t going to the games. The others had gone down to the pitch to watch with Pandora.
“If you wanna go, then go now,” Barty said and rolled his eyes.
“I’m not sure I should,” Regulus held in a breath, awaiting a response. “This is illegal, Barty.”
“So?” The boy shrugged. “I break the law all the time, and what happens? Nothing. Just don’t get caught,” he said as though it was a simple equation which anyone could solve, a problem which only required an apology to sort out.
“It’s not that simple,” Regulus sighed, placing his head in his hands and rubbing his temples.
“Look, I’ll go with you, and if we get caught we say we were looking to make something for a prank,” Barty offered.
“If you go I’m sure to get caught,” Regulus grumbled.
“Ok, rude, but I’ll ignore that,” he scoffed a laugh. “They’re more likely to believe you about a prank if I’m with you, Reggie.”
Regulus took in a sharp breath, let it out, and raised his head. “Fine,” he said grudgingly.
The two stood and clicked out of the commons, finding their way into the cool hall of the dungeons, and eventually to Slughorn's office.
It was that simple. They were in and out in a flash, and the one student who saw them was too focused on their attraction to Barty and fear of Regulus to even notice what was going on.
-~-~-~-~-~-~-
“It’ll be ready just before break,” Regulus said as he fell into the chair across from Sirius. “Then we’ll all be leaving here and they’ll have a much harder time pointing at us.”
“Told you you’d figure it out,” Sirius smirked and tipped his chair back.
“If anyone asks you about veritaserum, play dumb, ok? You don’t even know the word,” Regulus said with a very solemn, serious look on his face.
“What, like, tell them it’s a poison that makes you violently ill?” Sirius asked jokingly.
“I’m serious,” Regulus said, regretting it immediately.
“No, I’m Sirius,” his brother chuckled while Regulus gave him a deadly glare.
“Whatever,” Regulus waved a hand dismissively. “I’m done here, we’ll talk closer to break.” He stood up and slung his bag over his shoulder.
“Bye,” Sirius waved. Regulus hurried from the library, hoping he’d be back too soon for Potter to find him.
Sirius and Regulus had grown much closer since the party, almost three weeks ago now, and Regulus could feel a warm bubbly feeling inside of him at the prospect. After he was sorted into Slytherin their descent into estranged brotherhood began, but he’d somehow managed to reel the older Black back in after several years.
Regulus smiled as the sun warmed his face, streaming in from the large windows. He wasn’t one to appreciate the sun all that often, but today seemed a special occasion.
When he’d found his way onto the first floor, fewer students than usual, a familiar voice sounded behind him with footsteps to match.
“Regulus,” James called out, trying to catch up. “Reg,” he said again when Regulus didn’t slow.
“What,” he hissed, whipping around.
Potter stood, slightly breathless, with a dumbfounded look on his face. “Oh, well,” he stuttered. There were several feet between them but Regulus felt they were far too close for comfort.
“Spit it out, Potter,” he said, voice full of venom as he glared at the Gryffindor across from him. Regulus could feel his hands forming fists as he tried to control his breathing.
“Can we talk?” Potter asked weakly, fidgeting awkwardly as he ran a hand through his hair.
“No,” Regulus said and turned back around, his leather shoes clicking on the stone.
“Please,” Potter begged, catching up to him and matching his pace. “Tonight, I’ll be waiting for you.”
Regulus shot him a glare, and was met with a sad expression. James looked so genuinely hurt, and it made Regulus‘ heart twist in pain.
“Bye, Reg,” he said before falling back. Regulus could feel his eyes boring into his back, and he could only imagine the amount of want on the other boy's face.
“Fuck off,” Regulus yelled harshly as James tried to follow him through the door. “No,” he said sharply. “No.”
“Reg, please, I’m sorry,” James reached for him and stopped halfway, hesitating to take back his hand.
“This,” Regulus gestured between them, “Will never work. Do you know me? My family?” He was trying not to cry now and could hear a scratch in his throat and a waver in his voice.
“We can try, Reg, please,” James begged. He seemed so small. His voice was so quiet and there were tears streaming down his cheeks. “Reg,” he whispered.
“Don’t,” Regulus pointed a shaky finger at James. “Don’t call me that,” he said and stormed from the room, leaving behind a devastated and dumbfounded Potter.
The pink notes on Regulus’ nightstand glared up at him. There were almost forty now, none from today, but three from the day before. He stared them down as though it would make them shrivel up into nothing. He’d no idea why he hadn’t thrown them away yet, but perhaps he still wanted to see Potter.
Biting his lip, Regulus reached out for the pile and began reading from the bottom.
I’m sorry, Reg, Let’s talk
J.P.
Astronomy tower?
J.P.
Library? Please
J.P.
Are you reading these?
I just wanna talk, please
Reg, Reg, Reg, Reg
Regulus held back a laugh, instead rolling his eyes. Of course he’d managed to make the notes sound annoying. Regulus could almost hear Potter calling his name over and over in a playful tone, something that had never even happened.
Can we try to make this work?
Reg, I know you’re getting these
Please do something, anything
Are you ok? Are you eating? I haven’t seen you at meals
Quidditch was fun, but I was hoping to play you. What happened?
He frowned, tightening his grip on the paper. Regulus had purposely had someone fill in for him because he didn’t want to be faced with Potter. He skipped around the notes, finding several which just said ‘Reg’ and found the most recent.
It’s been weeks, Reg. Weeks. Please just talk to me already. I won’t do anything, I’ll just let you tell me why this is all so wrong and then we can decide together if this will work. Just, please, hear me out. Astronomy tower?
J.P
Potter hadn’t signed the notes since the first few, but he signed this one as if Regulus wouldn’t know who it was.
Regulus felt the indents of ink in the parchment, his eyes following the messy loops in Potter's handwriting.
It had been weeks, almost three agonizing fucking weeks. If Regulus wanted to be honest with himself, he’d say he needed to see Potter. He needed to get this sorted out rather than ignore it, but it was easier to lie. It’s always easier to lie.
So instead, Regulus took the stack of papers and burned them, one by one, watching the pink curl into black ash and the ink disappear into nothing.
One day he would figure this all out, but that would not be today.