Divine. That was the word for it, that was how Pandora Rosier saw the world. Every gifted breath, pant, stroke of sunlight, brush of paint, every sip from life’s offered nectar, she would cherish it, hold it in her hands and hope never to let go of how precious it all was.
If life were art, Lily Evans was the universe herself. The soft trail of freckles that made constellations all across her skin when she went out in the sun too long, the gentle curl of her hair and the smile that lit up on her face whenever one of her friends held it out of her eyes, the way she laughed a hearty and loud sound that echoed through the chambers of Pandoras mind, hollowed her skull until all it held was that melody. It was, without question, a kind of divinity.
Pandora considered herself lucky to have this even some of the time, she knew very well that she was worth Lily’s time of day, but still every time it was granted she couldn’t help but thank whatever higher power was allowing her this contact to cherish.
It was an unavoidable conclusion; she was mercilessly in love with her.
Though another conclusion not hard to come to, Lily had a pile of hearts at her feet, half of Hogwarts would carve theirs out of their chest for her, Pandora may be willing to take the extra step- she would claw and rip and drag that lovely thing out from her throat, swallow the blood like cherry wine- just another one of life’s sweet nectars- if she had to. But didn’t everyone feel so?
It was these days Pandora was thankful to have gone along with Regulus’ stupid plot to become Animagus’ she knew no greater rest than laying around the forbidden forest, a small white fox, she could tuck herself away into any small concave, or run wild if she so pleased.
Having made it to the forests edge she became the fox, she’d been yet to name herself, too big a choice really. She wandered around a while searching for a log as hollow as she, or a hole capable of keeping her warm.
Largely stuck in her own head, Pandora had hardly noticed another presence lurking around the forest until she came face to face with them- or face to shin, she had run directly into this wanderer.
“Oh, hello there.” the person said, leaning down to see her properly.
Even as the fox she felt her heart accelerate when Lily met her eyes, she was frozen in place. Though as they were this flustered state could pass for fear.
“Sorry little one, didn’t mean to frighten you.” she said genuinely apologetic before she sat upon one of the larger fallen branches.
Pandora, not really knowing what else to do, and concerned for what her friend may have been doing out in the forbidden forest on the edge of nightfall, carefully padded over to the branch, managed to claw her way up, and curled into Lilys side.
Lily let out a soft chuckle, it vibrated off the two and Pandora leant into it heartily.
“What a sweet thing you are,” Lily mused, before seeming to realize something, “what are you doing out here anyway? I’ve never seen a fox around here before?”
Pandora merely looked at her with a tilt in her head, taking in the sight before her.
Lily watched back for a moment, before she let out a puff of air and smiled at herself, “Merlin, what’s become of me, I’m hiding out from a girl and talking to a fox”
Hiding Lily was here for just the same reason she was, to hide. Pandora wasn’t naïve, she knew better than to buy into that idealized version of Lily that passerby’s in the halls liked to gossip about, she wasn’t a perfect, unfeeling, beauty, Pandora had been there for this part before. When Lily couldn’t breathe in her life and needed a reminder how, when she spent three days awake finishing an essay and Pandora had to carry her back to the Ravenclaw common room when she almost collapsed. It wasn’t something she wished she had to do, but they were both only human, and she had right to claim every emotion that arose in her, it was apart of this great divinity Pandora thought, all she wished was to be there to hold onto the others hand through it all.
But that wasn’t all she had said, Lily was hiding from a girl? At a point Pandora felt guilty for her presence as the fox, but Lily had moved to scratch the little grey spot behind her ear, and she couldn’t bare the thought of leaving her without company.
“Come to think of it, you might actually be the best secret keeper I could find,” Lily begins, “I hope you don’t mind my rambling but I did come out here to get it off my chest before I ran into you.” she shifted to lie down on the mossy ground, back cradled against the branch.
“You see, there’s this girl. She’s one of the most interesting people I’ve ever met I swear. Her view of the world is something so beautiful even if she wont tell me all about it, I feel so special to be a part of it. But I think I might have done something awful,”-Lily pauses and Pandora feels her breath hitch-“I’ve fallen in love with her.” There it was, Lily was in love with someone else, Pandora felt her heart break right there, .
“I’ve fallen in love with her, and the worst bit is I think she might even feel the same.” The look of confusion she thought must have crossed over the face of the fox, “I know what you’re thinking ‘that’s a good thing right?’ well, yes. But I’m just so afraid little guy, I just have so much love to give and I think it might be a bit much a lot of the time. Like right now, I wouldn’t hesitate to lay myself under this layer of dirt until you eventually get the chance to know my taste if it meant she might lie beside me. I’d do it. That scares me, and I could only imagine what she would think.”
I get it Pandora thinks, she would do the same for the very girl sat in front of her. She was longed for it, to know eternity like she thinks it might exist in the touch of Lily Evans.
“You remind me a bit of her you know? Which is like, really weird. But its true, maybe everything just reminds me a bit of her these days but really it’s insane. You and Pan, you’ve got those same eyes, I wonder if you see the world the same?”
Pan that was her? it must have been. Pandora couldn’t think of a single other person in Hogwarts who might have that nickname. Was it possible Lily was talking about her, could it be that she may have felt the same.
Without much further thought, Pandora found herself shifting back right there under Lilys arm. She watched as Lily’s eyes widened in shock, and then to fear as she gathered what had happened. They sat there for just a minute looking at each other before Lily spoke.
“Pan,” she started her voice falling short.
“Hi,” she whispered back, “I’m sorry Lils, I never meant to hear so much, if I had known you were talking about-“ she let her voice trail off not quite sure if she was ready to yet make the assumption.
“You” she chokes out, “I was talking about you.” Lily won’t meet Pandoras eyes, she realizes, the others holding herself in her arms like she’s made of shards held together by those careful arms.
Pandora gently grabs her chin, turning her so they could be face to face before sliding her hand to cup Lily’s cheek.
“I’ll tell you a secret?” she starts, watching as Lily’s eyes blew wider as breath brushed her lips, “I feel the same. The whole lot and maybe even more. You, Lily Evans, have enchanted me entirely. I think that you’re utterly divine, beauty reincarnate, all of that, you’re nothing short of wonderful.”
It’s not until she stopped that she realized her palm was wet with the tears falling from Lily’s face, and it’s not until she realized this that she noticed she had a few of her own falling into the first beneath them.
“Merlin, I can’t tell you how long I’ve wanted to tell you that.” she admitted into the gap between them.
“I don’t have half as many words as that, like I said you Pandora Rosier have an extraordinary view of this world. But there is one thing I’ve wanted to do probably just as long.” Her eyes were flicking between Pandoras eyes and lips and finally she realizes just how much she craves it, it’s not longing anymore, it’s hunger. She was starved for this, feeling the deep and incessant need to put her lips to something.
She surged forward into Lily, letting them meet softly. Pandora basked in the feeling as she wrapped an arm around the others neck holding their position. Lily leant into her, allowed a tilt to her head, and Pandora felt faint as she plunged further into the ecstasy of the moment.
She thought she knew divinity before then, but how blind she had been. That was her rapture, she was sure. Even if not, if she had instead allowed something much darker to seep into her with the exchange, she’d take it. She knew she would take anything Lily would let her. In that moment she was being quite generous.
A honey sweet sound made its way from Lily’s throat and Pandora swallowed it gratefully. As much as both of them would have wished to stay in that moment forever, she truly didn’t wish to die for Lily’s touch, not if it weren’t the last time she’d be granted it. Slowly, solemnly they pulled away for air. Smiling at each other soft and nothing more than utterly joyous.
“While we’re still above this dirt Pan, will you have me?” Lily asked, almost hesitant it ticked something fond in Pandoras chest.
“You’ve already got me Lils, body and soul. I would love nothing more than to have you for as long as we’ll stay on this side of 6ft, and after.”
They smiled at eachother for long enough it became comical, “Were such saps aren’t we?”
“Hey, watch it Evans I’m just speaking my mind. But to answer your question, yes, we are. Some more than others.” She said pointedly looking to Lily at the end.
“What’s that supposed to mean.” She said in mock offense.
“All I’m saying is only one of us waxed poetic to a fox.” Pandora joked, looking at Lily through her eyelashes.
“Hey, foul play. I didn’t know you were an Animagus.” Lily laughed out.
“That’s because Reg and I didn’t take notes from your friends on hiding it.” Pandora returned as she shifted to lie, resting her head against Lily’s collarbone.
She felt the reverberated giggles, “I suppose you’re right, though you did just unprompted tell me that Reg is also an Animagus.”
“What can I say, you bring it out in me.”
They’d laughed together at that, continued to lounge around the forest, explore this thing between them, and when asked enough times (once) Pandora changed back to the fox and let Lily name her.
Eden Fluffy Ears is not what she had expected to hear. But the wild grin on Lily’s face as she decided it made it significantly more worth it.