It was absolutely an accident and a fluke on Remus’ part, the way this weird birthday gift-giving tradition started with Sirius.
While everyone else seem to be be normal human beings and gave Remus a birthday card and a hug and maybe some candy for his sweet-tooth, Sirius had to go and make it into something big. And Remus knows perfectly well that it had been his own fault for encouraging this, but he can’t take all the credit - at first, he was 100% kidding and later, James and Peter all but begged him to not stop. So he (accidentally) didn’t.
//
The first year, when the other three boys learned of his birthday, James was talking about having a birthday party (which Remus categorically forbade) and Sirius turned towards Remus in their dorm.
They were sitting on the floor, in a comfortable circle, studying for history of magic (or were trying to, Sirius had just been staring at the ceiling and singing under his breath) when the other boy fixed Remus with a quizzical look.
“So, what do you want for your birthday?” Sirius asked, earnest.
Remus had never had friends - not like this. No other group of people (or even just one) had been so immune to his grumpiness, to his whims, to his blatant sarcasm and however he tried, he couldn’t shake the three boys. So, really, it was kind of sad but all he wanted for his birthday was for these friends to stick - to stay his friends.
“Nothing,” he said, short as ever, eyes going over the line in his book again because watching Sirius sing turned out to be more fascinating than Goblin wars.
“Come on! There’s gotta be something, even the tiniest thing!” Sirius pleaded, now sitting up.
Uh oh, Remus thought. Sirius had apparently found another distraction from studying - annoying Remus.
He ignored Sirius completely, eyes back to the textbook. James sat up, too. “Okay, no party. Just us four, yeah? Peter, quiz me.”
Remus gave James a rather thankful glance, but the boy had already turned to Peter, still smiling. Remus tried to hide his own soft smile - James Potter, always out for everyone’s happiness, without realising it.
But Sirius wasn’t backing down. He kept poking Remus with his long fingers, whining about how “There has to be something!” and “Come on, lay it on me!”.
Finally, after reading the same line for the tenth time, Remus burst out, “I don’t bloody know, a 100 chocolate frogs!”
That shut Sirius up and he seemed mildly surprised by Remus’ outburst - only because he was usually so quiet and distant.
But there was a bright smile that made its way onto his face then and he said, “Like chocolate then, do you?”
Remus rolled his eyes and went back to ignoring him.
But the next morning, he was woken up by the three boys piling onto his bed, jumping and singing Happy Birthday.
And Sirius, carrying a large bag, emptied it onto his bed and the rest of them watched in shock and awe as chocolate frogs spilled everywhere, falling onto the floor.
James started laughing, dragging Peter along and Sirius was beaming, proud.
Remus tried his best but the stupid smile still made its way onto his face. “You idiot, I was kidding!” he said but he couldn’t sound mad even if he tried.
Sirius just shrugged but his eyes were bright when he said, “Happy birthday, Remus!”
//
During the second year, they were walking along the corridor, just Remus and Sirius, while Remus was trying his best to memorise the potions notes in front of him. “snake fangs, porcupine quills, flobberworm mucus…” he mumbled to himself, feeling frantic.
He’d missed the potion’s lesson last week due to the full moon and was now required to go and start on his Boil-Cure potion while Sirius and James went to the Quidditch tryouts. Which is where Sirius was now heading, having promised to meet James early on the pitch to get a head start on practising with Peter cheering on from the stands.
“Lupin? Remus!” Sirius’ voice brought Remus back from his notes but he wasn’t happy about it.
“What?” he snapped, making Sirius frown at him momentarily but it dissipated rather quickly.
“So, what do you want for your birthday this year?” Sirius asked and Remus groaned.
“Sirius, I really don’t bloody care about my-”
“Come off it, you know I won’t stop asking.” Sirius cut him off and yeah, Remus was familiar with Sirius’ tactics in annoying anyone into doing anything (completely opposite from James who just simply asked nicely, and Peter, who just somehow always managed to get his way without even having to work for it. Remus guessed it was because Peter had very sweet, convincing puppy eyes.)
“Stir three times clockwise… not wait, was it-” Remus muttered, trying to find the right page.
Sirius knocked into him gently but it still pissed Remus off.
“So? Reeeemuuuuus…” Sirius said it in a sing-song voice and it would’ve been irritating if he didn’t have such a fucking good singing voice.
“I don’t fucking know… Three times clockwise sounds right yeah… a bloody unicorn for all I care, I have to go. I’m late.” Remus said, rushing towards the dungeons, leaving a very smug looking Sirius behind.
When Remus’ birthday came around, it wasn’t what he expected.
He’d completely forgotten about the unicorn comment and there Sirius was, presenting him with a toy plushie unicorn, baby blue with a sparkling horn and wings to match.
Remus took it, feeling the softness in his hand. He was so stunned, he had no clue what to say. When you were a teenager, shit like this didn’t usually fly (because honestly, they weren’t little kids anymore) but Remus didn’t even have a mind to toss the bloody thing back to Sirius with some curse words.
James peeked over his shoulder (Remus had, once again, outgrown them all) and gave an appreciative hum. “Nice colour.” he commented. There was no malicious intent in his voice but Sirius still defended himself.
“Real unicorns are bloody hard to catch!” his cheeks were slightly tinted pink.
Remus held the toy, feeling something warm inside of him grow and grow until he felt utterly uncomfortable.
But Sirius said, “It’s magical, though. So, close enough. Flies and shit, go ahead, toss it.”
Remus gave him a raised eyebrow.
“Over here, Remus! Toss it,” Peter volunteered from the other side of the room.
Remus, feeling stupid, threw the toy. Silver sparks flew from it and the toy came to life for a second, whinnying and flapping its glittering blue wings, soaring below the ceiling of their dorm before it landed in Peter’s hands.
They all stared. Peter was the first to start laughing, followed by James. “Oh, brilliant!” he said, thoroughly amused.
Remus gave Sirius a smile. He got one back and the warm feeling was still present, but less restrictive to his breathing.
“Wanted to make it shoot rainbows out of its butt as well but didn’t have time.” Sirius then said, which only made James and Peter laugh harder, falling to the floor with Peter still clutching the toy. Remus laughed, too.
Sirius beamed at him when Remus finally set the toy onto his bed, next to his pillow.
//
When Remus’ friends found out about his ‘furry problem’, like James’ liked to refer to it, he was terrified.
Terrified they’d leave them, scared they would treat him differently.
They didn’t leave (to Remus’ surprise) but they did treat Remus differently - with more care, worry. Remus didn’t exactly like it but he would have taken it instead of despise any day.
“Moony?” Sirius asked and the nickname had come around at the start of the year and had stuck - Remus found he didn’t mind. He hadn’t had nicknames before, hard to have them without friends to give them to you, and his father’s nicknames for him were all embarrassing anyways.
“Hm?” Remus was holding his head in between his hands. Madam Pomfrey had let him leave that morning, following the full moon, but somehow this one had taken its toll more than usual. He was getting older, more mature, and so was the wolf. The transformations had begun to feel more painful and more awful than ever before.
Remus feared what the coming years would bring.
“Birthday, you.” Sirius said, short and to the point.
Remus groaned against the pounding of his head. “Bugger off.”
At that exact point, Lily Evans plopped down next to him. “Hiya, Remus! I wanted to ask you about that potion - Slughorn says we should check it every other 6 hours so maybe you could-”
She went on and Remus tried his best to listen, nodding, head still in his hands. “Is that okay?” she finished.
Remus nodded again, not knowing what he was agreeing to. “So, birthday?” Sirius asked once more.
“Oh, right, it’s almost here isn’t it? What are you doing for it, Remus?” Lily asked, clearly still there. Remus peered at her, reaching for mashed potatoes. The great hall had begun to fill with students as it was apparently lunchtime.
“Ugh, I could kill for a pumpkin pasty.” Marlene McKinnon said, plopping down next to Lily.
“There you go,” Lily glanced at the table, picked one up and handed it to her. Marlene looked positively smitten, at least from what Remus could tell from between his fingers.
“You’re an angel.” Marlene said.
“I can attest to that,” James quickly cut in.
Lily seemed unimpressed. “Flattery will get you nowhere, Potter.”
“But-”
“Remus, what do you want for your birthday?” Sirius again, cutting in.
“Moony, tell Lily that my flattery has definitely gotten me places.” James pleaded, clearly taking a hit to his honour with Lily’s comment.
Remus groaned.
“Remus,” Peter this time, across the table, “I know you’re probably not feeling your best but about that Transfiguration homework…”
“What do you want for your birthd-” Sirius was cut off by Remus' head plopping onto the table with such force, a fork flew off next to him and Lily had to take a hold of her goblet so it didn’t spill pumpkin juice all over the table.
“Some fucking peace and quiet would be nice!” Remus bit out to Sirius, agitated and the pounding in his head became worse.
There was a collective silence around them, save for the other students in the great hall who hadn’t witnessed his small breakdown.
He swallowed, sighed and opened his eyes, straightening up. Everyone was staring at him with varying degrees of worry. He tried smiling, but he knew it looked odd and fake. “Peter, I’ll help you tonight. Evans, I’ve got the night shift. Also, James’ flattery has gotten him places - just ask any of the Hufflepuffs. I’m going upstairs for a nap.”
He ignored Sirius’ hand that shot out to stop him and ignored Peter’s questions about his health. Getting out of the Great Hall, his headache didn’t let up so crawling into bed in their dorms, he did his best to just drift away into what he hoped would be a dreamless sleep.
The next morning, everything was quiet. Remus tried to figure out why that surprised him but he then realised - it was his birthday and usually, his three best friends were already on his bed and showering him with suffocating hugs and affection. This time, it was more quiet in the dorm than after the time Gryffindor lost to Slytherin in a deciding match.
Remus peered over his covers, seeing only empty beds. He also realised he’d missed breakfast. With a groan, he went back under the covers, hopefully he could shield himself from the world that way.
No such luck, as the dorm room opened and the three boys stepped in.
“Moony?” Sirius spoke in a half-whisper and Remus found himself appreciating it immensely. He relented the cover, to peer over it again. Sirius was looking at him all weird - he hadn’t looked at him like that before, not that Remus could remember. Soft and steady.
“We brought you food.” James said, matching Sirius' level of tone, putting everything (which was A LOT) onto the nightstand.
“Here,” Peter said, putting a bunch of cards and gifts on Remus’ bed, “Gifts from the rest of the tower.”
Remus stared at them.
“Happy birthday,” they said, quietly and almost at the same time.
Remus kept staring, utterly confused.
“See, we figured… I mean, Sirius figured,” James started but changed course when Sirius shoved him gently, “that you could just stay in for the rest of the day? We already told the teachers you’re not feeling well and Pomfrey vouched for you. And Sirius went and told everyone not to bother you so we collected all the gifts ourselves and promised to give you their wishes, too.”
“If that’s alright? If you want the commotion then we can just-” Sirius looked uncertain of his choice now but Remus shook his head so fast it spun.
“No, this is- It’s perfect, actually.” he managed to say, feeling his cheeks flare up. He had to look away from Sirius quickly, those grey eyes still so damn soft. What the fuck was happening?
“So, happy birthday from everyone else, too!” Peter squeaked, feeling pleased by the turn of events.
“Mary told us that we should also kiss you Happy Birthday.” Sirius now said, a cheeky smile on his face. James and Peter suddenly matched his expression.
“Oh, no- no!” Remus half-shouted when the three boys piled on his bed and started trying to kiss his face where they could reach.
Remus struggled, trying his best to fight against them but it was hopeless. James managed a kiss to his forehead, Peter to his nose and Sirius, holding Remus’ face still with a surprisingly firm hand on his jaw, kissed him on his cheek.
Remus was burning up, when they all finally pulled back. “Fucking idiots.” he mumbled, staring at the ceiling helplessly. And then, “Thank you.”
They all beamed at him, bidding him goodbye for the day and promised to bring him up dinner. Remus reached for the birthday cards when Sirius called to him from the door.
Remus looked up, seeing him staring back, a dopey smile on his face. “Happy birthday, Moony.”
He rolled his eyes but smiled back to Sirius all the same.
//
Fourth year brought about many revelations. The most pressing of them was that Remus realised he was crushing on one of his best friends.
He kept it locked down tight in fear of losing what they had - the Marauders, the four of them causing mischief and wreaking havoc wherever they went.
This was also the year where Remus was acutely aware of Sirius’ antics concerning his birthday. James and Peter always went big, too - their gifts made Remus smile bashfully and say that he could never repay them - to which they waved their hands in dismissal. “They’re gifts, Moony,” they would say. And that was that.
So, knowing his own attraction to Sirius and Sirius’ way of trying to give absolutely anything to Remus for his birthday, it stirred some thoughts.
A lot of thoughts. Remus found himself awake at night, thinking of all the things he could ask Sirius - things that made him selfish. Things he’d never actually have the courage to ask. He tried to rid himself of these thoughts and focused on his studies, his reading and newfound fondness of David Bowie, which is all that Sirius listened to.
So, when Sirius asked the inevitable question, “So, this year, Moony? What’s it gonna be?”, Remus didn’t even think.
“David Bowie’s autograph,” he replied, sucking on the tip of his quill in the common room, where he was trying to figure out where on earth Saturn was supposed to be in the sky that week. ”Peter, can you give me a hand here?”
Peter shuffled over, pointing. “That’s not Jupiter, Remus. And Saturn goes over here.” he said, helpfully.
“That’s too easy,” James said from his place in front of the fireplace, playing with the Snitch.
Remus narrowed his eyes. “Did you steal the Snitch again? James.” his tone was chastising.
“I’m only borrowing it!” James said, smirking. His eyes flickered to Lily across the room, where she was engrossed in conversation with Mary and Marlene.
“Give it up, mate.” Sirius said, following the trajectory of his eyes and then frowned, “What do you mean, too easy?”
“Well, anyone could fake an autograph. Plus, they sell them, I’m guessing.” Peter interjected, scratching something off Remus’ charts.
He let him, knowing that Peter was much better at Astronomy than he was.
Sirius seemed stuck. For a moment, Remus wanted to say that he was, once again, joking (which he was), when Sirius' face lit up.
“I’ll get you a genuine, personal David Bowie autograph. Like, a personal wish and all.” he said, confident.
Remus snorted. “Mhmm.” He hummed, thanking Peter and looking over his chart.
“What, you think I can’t do it?” Sirius asked, in a challenge, one eyebrow raised delicately. Remus swallowed and looked away quickly.
“Sirius, I was just fucking around.”
But, apparently, Sirius was not.
His birthday morning started like any other, only Sirius wasn’t there. When Remus eyed his empty bed and gave a questioning look to James and Peter, who had already showered him with birthday wishes, they both shrugged but clearly looked confused as well, which meant Sirius hadn’t confided anything to them.
It all was revealed when they were in the Great Hall, finishing breakfast and already planning on going on the lookout for Sirius or at least report his absence, when he strode in.
He was holding a thin package in his hand, kind of like a huge envelope. He was smiling from ear to ear.
Remus already felt his heart thudding in his chest and he couldn’t look away. Fuck Sirius Black for looking absolutely stunning.
He didn’t sit, but came straight to Remus, stopped and handed the envelope/package over.
Remus stared at him, mouth slightly open and whispered, “You didn’t.”
“Open it.” Sirius said, raising a brow.
Remus swallowed and his shaky fingers went to the paper, ripping it carefully. James and Peter were wearing the same awestruck expressions. Remus slipped the large piece of paper out, which turned out to be a poster of David Bowie. He had a pinstriped costume on, a plunging V-neck revealing skin, his hair as red as his boots. He looked as marvellous as ever.
Remus tried not to blush and let his eyes go over the picture until he reached the bottom. His mouth hung even more open in shock, if that was possible. “Is that…No-” he said, aware that he was stuttering.
Sirius was practically vibrating next to him in excitement. “Go on! Read it!”
Remus gave Sirius a quick glance - a mistake, he felt even more out of breath seeing the red in Sirius’ cheekbones, his eyes alight - and read the dedication at the bottom in big loopy handwriting. “Dear Remus, Happy birthday. Blow their minds! - David.” And there, the autograph as well, below the birthday wish.
Remus, honest to god, thought he was going to cry right then and there.
James whistled. “Damn, that’s-”
“Fucking hell, Sirius.” Peter joined in, peering at the poster.
Remus let the two inspect it, leaving it on the table as he stood. Sirius was beaming, glowing. He’d never looked more beautiful to Remus then.
He leaned in, hugging him tight. Sirius’ hands went to his back, clutching tightly as he whispered, “Happy birthday, Moony.” to his ear, making Remus shiver slightly.
He pulled back, still close enough that he could keep holding onto Sirius if he wanted to. He wanted to, but he dropped his arms, just in case anyone was observing. “Thank you.” he said, quiet and soft. He hated that the emotion seeped through.
But Sirius didn’t seem to mind, only smiled. Smiled at Remus like he’d just made his day, not the other way around. Remus glanced back at the poster, biting his lip when a smile threatened to spill.
“Wait, so did you meet him?” James asked.
Remus whipped his head to Sirius so quickly, there was an audible crack.
While Sirius laughed, Remus rubbed his neck and asked, “Did you??”
Sirius smiled secretively but said nothing.
“Sirius,” Remus started but Sirius was already walking backwards, waving and exiting the hall. “Did you meet him!?”
Sirius tapped his own nose with a knowing look. Remus spluttered when Sirius turned around to leave.
“Sirius Black, did you fucking meet David Bowie!?”
//
“Moony, can I make a suggestion?” James asked lazily, from his bed, where he was making it snow from the ceiling.
“Yes, Prongs, I think you can.” Remus allowed, from his own bed, reading.
“This ought to be good,” Peter mumbled from his bed, where he was trying to figure out why he had two socks without their partners.
Sirius was also sitting on his own bed, legs crossed, and pointed his wand towards James. “No, you may not, because it’s Remus’ gift and he is supposed to say what he wants. You can’t just influence him into ridiculousness”
James snorted, stopping the snowfall and got up to sit as well. He raised his eyebrows. “Not like we totally don’t influence him into pranks with us, right?”
“In your defence, I am very easily influenced.” Remus replied steadily, smiling behind the book.
“That’s different! It’s for his own good,” Sirius said fervently, “Besides. He’s basically the mastermind behind those pranks, someone’s got to utilise that big, beautiful brain of his.” Sirius winked at him.
Remus rolled his eyes but was secretly glad the book was hiding his cheeks. He kept blushing whenever Sirius would so much as smile at him, which was fucking annoying.
“Padfoot, he’s too good to exploit your willingness to give him whatever he wants but we're not. And since Moony secretly knows I’m right and you need your ego to be knocked down a peg,” Sirius protested while Remus and Peter said ‘here, here’ in unison, “I can help him out a bit.”
Sirius stared at Peter in betrayal and then directed his glare to Remus, who quickly ignored it.
“And?” Sirius asked, grumpily.
James widened his hands as if for show. “Lightning in a bottle.”
Remus snorted loudly.
There was a small silence and Remus lowered his book to see the rest of the Marauders staring at him. He shrugged. “Oh, you know, I was just imagining Sirius running around the grounds with a glass bottle, getting shocked by lighting here and there.”
This made Peter and James laugh and even Sirius lips twitched a bit. But he puffed out his chest. “The Great Hall has lighting in the skies, so it can’t be that hard.”
“That’s extremely advanced magic, Sirius.” James told him, amused.
“Um, hello? Unregistered animagus’, sitting right here?” Sirius pointed to himself, Peter and then James.
“He has a point, we’re incredibly intelligent and powerful for our age.” James agreed now, a touch of humour in his voice.
“Oh, yes, could pass the NEWT’s right away if given the chance.” Peter agreed.
“Incredibly full of yourselves, you mean,” Remus directed his comment at James who winked. See, when James did that, Remus didn’t feel the need to blush like a fucking idiot. So unfair.
Sirius clapped his hands together. “Consider it done!”
Remus sighed, getting back to his book, and ignoring the way Sirius’ words made his heart swell in his chest.
They were huddled around in the common room next month, with Remus in the middle.
“It’s beautiful!” Lily commented, tapping at the bottle.
The lighting inside flashed as she did so. Marlene watched in awe but Dorcas scoffed. “Lighting in a bottle… You losing your game, Sirius?” she teased.
Sirius raised a brow. If it was Remus, he would’ve melted but it was directed at Dorcas, who barked a laugh instead of combusting.
“I mean, the David Bowie thing…” she drawled.
“Yeah, that was the best so far, I think.” Mary agreed, looking at the lighting as well. She took it into her hands to shake it a bit.
Remus grabbed it. “Don’t break it!” he didn’t even realise the tone of his voice until they all stared at him.
James smirked. “Or maybe,” he started, with a very sickly sweet tone, “Remus likes it even better than the Bowie poster.”
He felt his face turn red again, but he tried to deflect, “Well, I’m just guessing this isn’t simple magic. Would be a waste if weeks of work would be undone by Mary’s clumsiness.”
“Hey!” Mary said, insulted, but she was also smiling.
Sirius seemed pleased to no extent. Then, he frowned. “Wait, how do you know it took me weeks?”
Remus tried his best not to meet anyone’s eye, instead staring at the small lightning storm in his hands. Truthfully, he spent so much time observing Sirius, it was hard not to notice how much he’d disappeared lately.
“You’ve been to the library more than me, Padfoot.” he said, hoping his lie was convincing enough.
Peter snorted. “That’s definitely true.”
“So that’s why you blew off Quidditch with me the other day? Wanker!” James now realised, shoving Sirius.
Remus felt his cheeks still glowing with heat and his chest swelled with the knowledge that Sirius had blown off James - for him.
“Happy birthday, Moons.” Sirius said, bumping his shoulder to Remus’ slightly.
The girls cooed.
“Fuck off,” Remus said, taking the bottle with him towards the dorms.
“We love you, too!” Lily shouted after him. Remus flipped them off.
But, when it was time for bed and they went under their covers, Remus set the bottle on his nightstand and caught Sirius watching him from his bed.
Remus blushed, but rolled his eyes. “Don’t let this go to your head.” he said to Sirius, leaning back onto his own bed.
Sirius’ face had a peculiar expression, one Remus couldn’t read, but the corner of his mouth lifted into a small smile. “One can only hope.”
//
Remus was woken up from a very, very nice and vivid dream. He’d been running through the forest with Padfoot, in his wolf form, but it hadn’t been scary or painful. It was nice, nothing but the night air and smell of rain around them, free and wild. And then, the dream hand changed to him and Sirius lying on a bed of grass, blue skies as far as the eye could see, chasing down different shapes of clouds.
One of those clouds looked weirdly like Wormtail in his rat form, only it had a tutu on it. Remus still remembers how Sirius smelled in the dream - of something sweet, like honey. He’d just been leaning in when he was awoken.
Not entirely sure what it was that woke him, Remus blinked dazedly, when he heard a ‘Bloody hell’ come from James’ bed.
Remus sat up, vaguely aware that he could still smell that sweet aroma. He blinked and then blinked again.
The whole room was covered in wildflowers. Daisies, white as a sheet, beautifully delicate violets, water parsnips with a pink hue, buttercups, yellow as the Sun.
So that’s what he had been smelling. It all brings the dream back too vividly and his skin tingles, remembering the closeness to Sirius.
The flowers were strewn across the floor, from the ceiling in long rows like string lights, all over their four beds and nightstands.
“Jesus, Padfoot.” Peter said from where he was gathering the petals into his hands and letting them fall, watching Remus in amusement for his reaction.
Remus was speechless, inhaling the sweet aroma.
He looked up when he heard the door and saw Sirius enter, unaware that he was being observed. His head was down and he was mumbling about something and with a jolt, Remus realised he was holding sunflowers, four of them.
When Remus had obsessed over botany for the better part of their 6th year, finding it to be his new fixation, his birthday wish had been ‘to lay on a field of wildflowers’, jokingly. His friends didn’t tease him for this fixation.
Remus hadn’t even considered that Sirius would bring the whole thing to him.
He looked a bit bashful, when he skipped over the flowers to reach Remus’ bed. His cheeks were tinged pink, while Remus gave him a smirk.
Over the past year, they had been doing a sort of dance. Remus, first acknowledging his crush, had blushed whenever Sirius winked at him, complimented him. Had endured jealousy over Sirius’ various partners, had drowned his own infatuation into others. Was forced to be robbed of his breath when Siriuis was around and endured the wild beating of his heart when Sirius said his name.
Remus had had plenty of time to get used to being in love with Sirius Black. It still hurt, not being able to express it, but he had fallen into a comfortable rhythm with him, banter and casual flirting a part of it.
Until Sirius, during the summer, had succumbed to ‘crush-phase Remus’ behaviour. Which had made Remus wonder. And oh, how he wondered.
“Happy birthday, Moony.” Sirius said, handing over the flowers. He was still smiling shyly.
Remus let his hand linger when he accepted the flowers, eyes alight with joy. He could hear Sirius’ breath stutter a little, looking down at their hands before his gaze went to Remus’ lips.
Interesting.
“Christ, Pads.” James said,getting off the bed and picking a daisy from his hair. “Moony, you gotta stop this ‘cause this idiot sure as hell won’t.” he nodded towards Sirius, who had that same fucking bashful look on his face, now looking down.
Remus wanted to kiss him, more than anything.
“He’d steal you the freaking Moon, if you’d ask!” James laughed when Peter almost tripped over the flowers, knocking his toe against his nightstand and letting out a howl.
Sirius’ smile grew, his eyes going to Remus, who was touching the pedals of the sunflowers. He recognised that look.
Excitement and determination.
“Padfoot, no-” he started but Sirius had already gone on a tangent on how he could totally do it.
James listened, clearly amused, as did Peter, but his eyes darted to Remus every now and then, raising his eyebrows as if to say ‘Are you going to let this idiot actually try and do this?’
But when Sirius’ eyes met Remus in the middle of his rant (‘I mean, sure, we wouldn’t have any tides but we don’t even know how to surf, right?’), they were sincere. They held something so sweet, deep and grounding that Remus just had to smile.
Sirius mirrored it and Remus was lost in it completely.
So what if Sirius was an idiot? He was Remus’ idiot, after all. At least, that’s what he let himself believe.
//
Sirius had been in a foul mood a whole month. Another month and it would be Remus’ birthday. His last one in Hogwarts.
“What the hell’s going on with you?” James had asked at one point, clearly agitated that Sirius’ mood swings carried over to not just lessons but Quidditch practice as well.
But Sirius had mumbled some excuse about his brother being a twat and family drama and walked off.
At one point, coming down from the Astronomy tower, Remus was just in the middle of telling Sirius that the full moon was after his birthday this year so thankfully they could all get together with the girls and have a nice day in Hogsmeade, when Sirius stopped him.
They stood on the staircase, others passing by and Sirius seemed to be waiting until they were alone. He seemed pained.
“Imagine if there’d be no moon.” Sirius said to him. He was wringing his hands.
Remus stared at him blankly. “Huh?”
“With no moon, you’d never have to turn, right?” Sirius asked.
Oh, so this was what was bothering him. “Well, yeah, I think? Haven’t really thought about the logistics of it. Does the moon have to be destroyed completely? Will I still turn if it’s stored away in a broom closet?” Remus’ tone was light, trying to diffuse Sirius’ tension.
But Sirius shook his head, leaning back against the wall. He looked gorgeous, his fair longer than last year, pale neck on display as he let his head thump back. Remus held onto his books with a vice-like grip.
“So unfair, though.” Sirius told him.
Remus frowned. “Padfoot, I’m used to it.”
Sirius' eyes opened and he put both hands on Remus’ shoulder, stepping in. In the tight space, they were so close, Remus could track the movement of Sirius' throat when he swallowed, the fluttering of his eyelashes. His grey eyes seemed like an autumn storm brewing.
“You shouldn’t have to be.” he said, as if he firmly believed in it. Remus believed that he did. But the intensity startled him anyways.
He didn’t know what to say, other than draw a parallel in his mind to what Sirius might’ve been projecting. Regulus hadn’t talked to Sirius for the better part of the year and being subjected to abusive parenting was definitely something the Black brothers were both used to - but they shouldn’t have had to be.
There was a moment, a truly glorious moment, where Sirius leaned in and Remus thought that he was going to kiss him. He even had time to go through all the stages - excitement, panic, relief, fear, excitement again - when Sirius’ eyes flickered to Remus’ lips for a split second before coming back up to his eyes.
Then, another student came hurtling down the Astronomy tower, muttering something about being late to Potions, and the moment was lost.
Sirius leaned back, hands falling to his sides in fists to let the student through. He cleared his throat, forcing a smile. “History, right?”
Remus nodded, his chest feeling strangely empty.
But really, what was he expecting?
He opened his eyes to a very familiar sight that year, with all three of his best friends hurdling themselves into bed with him and jumping up and down while singing Happy Birthday.
They were significantly bigger than in their first years of Hogwarts, so it wasn’t long until the pillow fight started by James ended with Peter falling flat on the floor, dragging Remus with him as he went.
Sirius and James lent over the edge of Remus’ bed, laughing at them. Peter just snuggled up to Remus and said “Happy birthday, Moony.”, looking ever so content.
James loudly protested to Peter hogging all of Remus’ cuddles and promptly slid down to the floor as well, snuggling up to Remus on the other side while Remus himself laughed, touched by their sudden burst of clinginess and softness. The older they all got, the more comfortable they got with each other (to be fair, Sirius and James had always shared a bed on many occasions, when Sirius had one of his nightmares), the only exception being Sirius.
Sirius, when alone with Remus, would be guarded, yes, but clingy. With others around, that side of him, the one that allowed comfort in Remus’ closeness, was a lot more subtle and tucked away. In complete contrast to how Peter was, for example, craving the other Marauders’ physical touch - his hugs were the best, so Remus wasn’t complaining.
Sirius looked down at them, fond, and caught Remus’ eyes. Something flickered there but it was gone before Remus could start dissecting it. Sirius grabbed a blanket and draped it over them, lying down alongside James. “There, all snug and cosy. Is this what we’ll be doing on your last birthday at Hogwarts, Moony? Napping on the surprisingly comfy, albeit disgustingly dirty floor of our dorm?”
“The disgusting part is your own fault, Padfoot.” Remus countered but in truth, he wouldn’t have minded such a turnout. More and more he felt his joints ache even when the full moon wasn’t around the corner. His mind was more troubled and besides being hopelessly in love with Sirius, the prospects outside of Hogwarts weren’t exactly welcoming.
If he got to spend one of the last days at school with just his friends close, it wouldn’t have been so bad.
“I’ll have you know, the candy wrappers are Peter’s.” Sirius retorted, pulling at the blanket.
“Oi, stop hogging, you blanket-hogger.” James said, pulling too. He made an ‘oof’ sound when Sirius elbowed him.
There was a giggle and a creak of the door. “Glad we’re not interrupting, then?” Lily and Mary came in, bearing gifts.
James immediately shot up, looking rather sheepish. Remus rolled his eyes in time with Sirius and they burst into laughter simultaneously.
Lily had gifted Remus an early copy of ‘The Hobbit’ (he kept borrowing from Lily, so it was nice that she thought to buy one for himself), while Mary handed over a set of new quills, ink and beautiful parchment with intricate drawings of flowers around the edges. She also provided a set of envelopes. “So you’d not forget to write to all of us, after school,” she said, suddenly teary-eyed.
When Remus, with a start, realised Lily was also tearing up, he hugged them both quickly, promising that he would, in fact, write as much as they wished.
“Alright, let’s go down, I’m starving!” Sirius announced, leading the way.
In the Great Hall, Dorcas and Marlene came over, joining in on another rendition of ‘Happy Birthday’.
Remus noted, midway through his eggs and sausage, that everyone around them seemed to fidget in various ways and were acting weird, casting glances at Remus and then Sirius. He raised a brow at Marlene, who had been eyeing Sirius with a weird look as if to say ‘well?’. She shrugged and looked away.
Sirius looked exceptionally bothered by it all.
Remus tried to brush it off - it didn’t seem like anything he should ask about at the moment and he’d rather enjoy a day with his friends at Hogsmeade in peace rather than in the aftermath of a fight (if that’s what this was about).
Exiting the Great Hall, they all went to put some more layers on them against the deceptive spring winds and then met back up at the foyer, ready to go.
Walking down the road, Remus enjoyed looking at his surroundings. The grass took a greener shade every day, the sun was warm on his face even though the wind was cutting through his jacket. The lake glistened in the far distance and there were swallows flying right over them towards the dark forest.
“I’m just saying, seems a bit anticlimactic doesn’t it?” Remus heard Dorcas whisper to Marlene behind him.
He tuned back into his surroundings, when he saw Sirius’ back stiffen in front of him. “Maybe it’s something that we won’t get to see.” Marlene said.
Remus frowned, no idea what they were talking about.
“Alright, McKinnon, out with it,” Sirius gritted his teeth but when he turned, he was smiling at Marlene, vicious (if maybe sorrowful).
Marlene seemed unbothered by getting caught and said, “I’m just saying, we thought you’d be delivering Remus the stars themselves by now.” Mary giggled at this, linking her elbow with Marlene.
Sirius’ eyes flashed. The girl had obviously struck a nerve.
“So maybe it’s something Sirius is delivering later, away from prying eyes,” Marlene finished, winking.
Remus instantly felt his neck warm up and his ears, too. Oh, fucking hell, he thought. Not this again. Marlene and Dorcas had been pestering him about Sirius for the better part of last year.
Lily started, “Guys, why don’t we-” but she didn’t get very far because Sirius threw his hands up in frustration, stopping completely so that James bumped right into him.
“I couldn’t do it!” He said, dramatically. “I couldn’t deliver this time, I’m sorry, Moony.”
And he seemed genuinely upset about this.
Remus laughed. He couldn’t help himself, it was just so absurd - Sirius was mad at himself. For not stealing the freaking Moon. Because now Remus remembered their conversation last year. This absurd, wonderful, adorable, beautiful boy, he thought to himself.
Sirius' face turned sour and Remus quickly went to correct his error. “Sorry, I just- Sirius, you can’t have expected me to actually think you’d steal the Moon, right? It’s the Moon, Sirius. Moon. I cannot stress enough how impossible that is.”
They’d all stopped now and Remus was staring at Sirius with a mix of amusement and disbelief.
“Wait, you asked for the Moon? Pretty selfish, don’t you think, Remus? I mean, the rest of the world needs the Moon too, you know.” Dorcas interjected.
“Yeah, I was kidding about the stars.” Marlene added, clearly surprised by the turnout of a conversation she herself started.
“I didn’t even know you were actually trying,” Remus said, seeing that Sirius was truly upset about this.
Sirius wrung his hands, sighing, and looking up to the skies. It looked like he was in pain. “I know how much it would’ve-” he glanced at the girls quickly, and stepped closer to Remus, lowering his voice, “it would’ve meant to you.”
Remus couldn’t believe Sirius actually researched how to steal the fucking Moon. He wanted to snog his face off.
“Mate, how in the world did you think you could pull it off?” James asked from behind him, completely incredulous, while Peter stared at Sirius like he’d lost his damn mind finally.
Sirius’ eyes stayed on Remus as he spoke, carelessly. “Some shrinking spell, obviously. But that would entail getting up into space, or like, getting the Moon closer to me with some sort of summoning spell. Or a powerful enough spell that would actually reach the Moon from here, I guess. It’s bloody difficult when the thing is like billions of miles away.”
Remus snorted and was aware it sounded half-hysterical when he said, “You complete moron.”
He laughed again, from the bottom of his heart. “You absolute idiot. You’re brilliant.” Remus said then, unable to stop laughing because, God, someone in the universe must have really hated him to give him Sirius Black in his life. Or perhaps really loved him.
Because Sirius was a nuisance. And he was so in love with him it was ridiculous.
Sirius seemed amused now, too, pocketing his hands. His eyes were still a bit sad, but he smiled, at least. “Thank you? You kind of insulted and complimented me there all at once, but I’ll take it. Sorry, still.”
Remus calmed a bit at that, drawing a breath. Vaguely aware that the others were still surrounding them, he said in a moment of sobriety, “You could just steal something else for me.”
Sirius squinted at that. “Like what?” he asked, suspicious. “Because I’m pretty sure they already suspect me of stealing in Honeydukes after our last trip…”
“No, not what I had in mind,” Remus said, eyes sparkling. Suddenly, he couldn’t care less that he was about to expose everything to Sirius.
If he’d ever had doubts before, all of them vanished. Sirius tried to steal the Moon for him. Who else does that, if not a person in love?
“You could steal a kiss.” Remus elaborated, casually. He smirked at Sirius, who seemed taken aback.
“A kiss?” he said, slowly. “From who?”
Remus could hear James snort behind them but paid him no mind. “From me, you idiot. Steal a kiss from me. For me. That’s what I want for my birthday.”
Sirius’ eyes widened. To his credit, they never left Remus in order to search James’ for confirmation or Peter’s for encouragement. He just stared at Remus, mouth half-open.
Remus gestured with his arms, as if saying ‘Well? Come on then.’ and raised an eyebrow towards him.
Sirius' whole demeanour changed. His face lit up like a Christmas tree, a lovely blush creeping up his neck. His hands snaked around Remus’ face and Remus instantly locked his hands around Sirius’ arms to steady himself.
“I can do that, definitely.” Sirius replied and Remus only had time to roll his eyes at Sirius’ smugness, before he leaned in.
Sirius’ lips were chapped, like they always were - he kept gnawing at them when he thought no one was looking. Even so, they were incredibly soft on Remus’. Sirius kissed him tentatively, a bit unsure, but definitely with a promise for more.
Against his lips, Sirius whispered “Happy birthday, Moony.” and Remus smiled.
“Shut up, you gorgeous bastard, shut the fuck up.”
His right hand went to grab Sirius’ waist while the left went to his jaw, holding him in place while also drawing him in and with one fell sweep of his tongue, he opened Sirius’ lips.
Sirius’ gave only a small gasp, to his credit, but it was still there. And then he kissed Remus with such shattering enthusiasm, Remus was ready to just lay him down, right there, in the grass and dirt and everything. Finally, finally.
There was a mild cough and a clearing of a throat. Sirius pulled back, annoyed. “Do you mind?” he asked, frustrated at whoever it was he was glaring at over Remus’ shoulder.
Lily laughed loudly while Dorcas snorted. “I mean, congratulations and all that but we're still here. Do you want us to go or…?” she asked, amusement tainting her annoyance.
“Yes, leave, go away.” Sirius waved a hand at them.
A small chuckle escaped Remus’ lips, his head fell to Sirius’ shoulder where he mumbled, “Padfoot, don’t be rude. It is my birthday, we were going to spend it with friends.”
“That was before I found out what an exceptional kisser you are.” Sirius lamented.
“You say it like it’s a bad thing.”
“It is if I have to stop now.”
“Hello,” James waved, coming up to them. “Still here.”
Sirius actually shoved him, making James burst out laughing.
“Guys,” James said, faking sorrow, “We’ve lost him.”
“Fuck off,” Sirius replied sweetly.
Remus squeezed his waist, the other hand moving to his cheek to get his attention. Sirius’ attention snapped right back to him, eyeing him almost reverently. Remus tried his best not to swoon.
“How about,” he said, cherishing the way Sirius leaned into his hand, “we go and have fun with our friends and later, I can show you how exceptionally good I am at other things besides kissing?”
Sirius Black hadn’t blushed like that since… well, never. “Fuck me,” he groaned, dragging out the vowels and closing his eyes. “Don’t just say it like that!”
“Also, still here,” Peter reminded them.
“Sorry,” Remus said, but he didn’t sound sorry at all.
Sirius eyed him and relented. “Fine. Fine, I guess we’ll do what you want since you're the birthday boy and all. But I’m holding you to that promise.”
“Wasn’t a promise.” Remus smirked.
Sirius leaned in, kissing his cheek. Remus did swoon just then, no matter that he was the one doing all the inappropriate flirting. “Promise me?”
“I promise, Padfoot.” Remus said, sincere. “All of that and everything else, too. We have time.”
Someone else might have been confused by his wording but Sirius wasn’t. He simply nodded and leaned back in, giving Remus another kiss - quick peck on the lips and Remus was already riding on a high he couldn’t come down from even if he wanted to.
He didn’t.
Sirius slid his hand into Remus’, intertwining their fingers with a gentle squeeze. He gave Remus a blinding smile.
“Alright. Blow their minds, Remus Lupin, it’s what you do best.”