Chapter 2
Maya had spent the entire night replaying the conversation.
The look on Carina’s face when she found out the truth.
The hurt, the shock, the way her lips had parted slightly like she physically couldn’t believe what she was hearing.
And worst of all—
The moment she realized that Maya had kept it from her.
That she had gone weeks without knowing that her wife had almost died alone in the wildfire, that Maya had spent hours thinking she was never coming back to them, all while Carina was at work, carrying their child for the first time.
It wasn’t that Carina had yelled or even cried.
That would have been easier.
No, Carina had simply looked at her, eyes full of a pain so deep that it had made Maya feel like the ground had disappeared beneath her feet.
And now, she was coming home, knowing that Carina was still carrying that hurt.
Maya braced herself as she stepped inside.
She expected to find silence.
Expected Carina to still be in bed, curled beneath the blankets, her body warm and soft with sleep.
But instead—
She found her already awake.
Already dressed.
Already wearing her fancy work clothes, looking like the most beautiful woman Maya had ever seen.
She stood in the living room, her long hair cascading down in soft waves, her tailored blouse tucked neatly into her pressed slacks.
And in front of her—
Liam, sitting cross-legged on the floor, giggling as Carina tickled his tiny belly.
Maya stopped in the doorway, her breath catching.
Because even with the weight of everything unspoken, this was beautiful.
Carina’s lips curled in a soft, gentle smile as she whispered to Liam in Italian, her voice soft and warm, her fingers brushing through his curls like he was the most precious thing in the world.
Liam cooed happily, his little hands grabbing at Carina’s blouse, his eyes full of trust and love.
Maya felt something tighten in her chest.
Because she had almost lost this.
Had almost lost them.
And Carina had no idea for weeks.
Maya’s throat felt thick as she took a step forward.
“Good morning.”
Carina looked up
She smiled.
And it was soft.
Warm, even.
But Maya could still feel the weight behind it.
Still feel the distance.
She swallowed, forcing a smile as she stepped closer, leaning down to press a soft kiss to Liam’s forehead, inhaling his baby scent.
Then, she turned to Carina.
She hesitated—just for a second.
Then, she leaned in and pressed a kiss to Carina’s cheek.
She lingered, just for a moment.
Because Carina smelled like home.
Like comfort.
Like everything Maya had almost lost.
And when she pulled back—
Carina was still smiling.
But her body was tense.
Maya felt it immediately.
The unspoken words still between them.
The way Carina wasn’t pushing her away, but she also wasn’t fully letting her in.
Maya’s stomach twisted.
Carina was still upset.
But she wasn’t saying it
She was acting normal.
And Maya hated it.
Carina finally shifted, running her fingers through Liam’s curls one last time before straightening.
“I should finish getting ready,” she murmured.
Maya couldn’t let her go just yet.
Not when she was about to start a 24-hour shift.
Not when she was still carrying this weight alone.
Maya followed her into the bedroom, watching as Carina moved toward the closet, carefully selecting a pair of heels, adjusting her sleeves like nothing was wrong.
Maya exhaled slowly.
“I don’t want you to go to work like this.”
Carina paused, just for a second.
Then, she turned.
Her dark eyes met Maya’s, and for the first time this morning, Maya saw just how much she was holding back.
“I’m not angry, Maya.”
Her voice was calm.
Steady.
But Maya could hear it—the crack underneath the surface.
“I’m just…” Carina inhaled deeply, closing her eyes for a moment before reopening them. “I’m just hurt.”
Maya’s throat tightened.
Carina shook her head, looking down at her hands.
“You should have told me,” she whispered.
Maya stepped closer.
“I wanted to,” she admitted. “I almost did.”
Carina looked up, waiting.
Maya took a deep, shaky breath.
“But when I found out you were pregnant…” She exhaled. “I couldn’t do it. I didn’t want to ruin it for you. I didn’t want to take away our happiness.”
Carina’s lips pressed together.
Maya took another step closer.
“And I was safe,” she added, her voice barely above a whisper. “I made it out. I was fine. I thought—I thought it wouldn’t matter if I told you later.”
Carina let out a soft, breathy laugh, but there was no humor in it.
“Maya…” She shook her head.
Then—
She looked at her again.
And her eyes were full of something raw and painful.
“You don’t think it mattered?” she whispered.
Maya’s stomach dropped.
Carina exhaled shakily, blinking rapidly.
“ I was checking the news every five minutes.” she whispered,
Maya’s chest ached.
Carina swallowed hard.
“I knew you were out there. I knew the entire station was there. And I kept telling myself you’d be fine.”
Maya stayed silent, her throat burning.
Carina’s voice shook slightly.
“But I couldn’t stop thinking about you getting hurt.” She closed her eyes briefly before opening them again. “About you not coming home.”
Maya felt something inside her break completely.
Carina inhaled, shaking her head.
"And the worst part?” she whispered. “The worst part is that it did happen. You almost died. And I didn’t even know.”
Maya’s breath hitched.
Carina exhaled sharply, running a hand through her hair.
“I can’t lose you, Maya,” she whispered.
Her voice was so soft, so shaken, and Maya hated herself for causing this pain.
Maya reached out, grabbing her hands.
Carina let her.
Maya’s fingers squeezed tightly.
“I’m here,” she whispered. “I swear, I’m here.”
Carina closed her eyes for a moment.
Then—
She gently pulled away.
Maya felt the loss immediately.
Carina exhaled, rubbing at her temples.
“We should finish this conversation later,” she murmured.
Maya’s stomach twisted.
Carina was pulling away again.
Maya wanted to push—wanted to fix it now—but she also knew Carina needed space.
She nodded slowly.
“Okay,” she whispered.
Carina nodded once, reaching for her bag, pressing a lingering kiss to Liam’s forehead.
Then—
She walked toward the door.
Maya stood there, watching her go, feeling like she was losing her, inch by inch.
And all she could do was wait.
The house was quiet again.
Too quiet.
Carina had left for work still upset, and Maya had barely been able to focus on anything since.
She had tried—she had spent time playing with Liam, making him giggle, feeding him, holding him close as if the warmth of his tiny body could quiet the storm inside her.
But it didn’t.
Because even as she watched her son coo and babble, even as she rocked him until he fell asleep, the memories kept creeping back.
Carina’s face in the morning.
The hurt in her voice when she said I’m not angry, I’m just hurt.
The wildfire.
The feeling of the flames licking at her skin, the smoke choking her, the suffocating heat surrounding her with no way out.
Maya could still hear it.
itThe roaring fire.
The way the trees snapped and collapsed around her.
The way she had thought—this is it.
She needed to run.
She needed out of her head.
So she grabbed her running shoes, tied them tighter than usual, and jumped onto the treadmill.
Maya ran.
Hard.
Fast.
Harder than she had in weeks, months—maybe ever.
She barely registered the burning in her legs, the sharp ache in her lungs as she pushed herself past the limit, past reason, past the point where she should have stopped.
But she didn’t stop.
She couldn’t.
Because stopping meant thinking.
And thinking meant remembering.
And remembering meant reliving it all over again.
The wildfire.
The searing heat.
The unbearable, inescapable wall of flames closing in from every direction, the thick smoke filling her lungs, making every breath feel like suffocation.
The screams of people she couldn’t get to.
The helplessness.
The bone-deep certainty that she wasn’t getting out.
That this was it.
That she was going to die alone in the fire, and Carina would never even know.
Maya’s vision blurred as her mind spiraled deeper into the memory, even as her body kept running, even as her pulse pounded in her ears louder than the treadmill beneath her feet.
She could hear the radio crackling, could feel the burning heat licking at her skin, could taste the bitter, acrid smoke on her tongue.
She had been trapped.
No way out. No way forward. No way back.
She had thought of Carina.
Of Liam.
Of everything she was about to lose.
Maya gasped, her chest heaving violently, her hands gripping the treadmill rails as she stumbled, nearly losing her balance.
She was drenched in sweat, her body shaking, her breath coming in sharp, panicked bursts.
The room felt too small, the air too thick, her lungs too tight.
She felt like she was still in it, still trapped, still fighting for air—
And then her phone rang.
The sharp sound cut through the haze, grounding her just enough to realize where she was.
She stumbled off the treadmill, legs weak, heart still slamming against her ribs as she grabbed her phone with trembling hands.
She barely registered the name flashing on the screen.
Then—
Carina.
Her stomach dropped.
It was 11 PM.
Carina was still in the middle of her shift.
She never called this late unless something was wrong.
Maya’s pulse spiked for an entirely different reason as she fumbled to answer.
She pressed the phone to her ear, still struggling to breathe.
“Carina?”
A long, exhausted sigh came through the line.
“I woke you up, didn’t I?”
Maya swallowed hard, wiping sweat from her forehead with the back of her hand.
“No,” she managed, voice hoarse. “I was… running.”
A pause.
Then—
“Of course you were.”
Maya could hear the exhaustion in Carina’s voice, the unspoken weight in her tone.
Her chest tightened all over again—but for a different reason.
“How’s your shift?” Maya asked, forcing her voice into something steady, even though she still felt like she was coming down from the fire in her mind.
Carina sighed.
“It’s exhausting.”
Maya clenched her jaw.
Carina never complained about work.
Not unless she was at her absolute limit.
Maya ran a shaky hand over her face, pressing her palm against her damp forehead.
“Talk to me,” she murmured.
Carina exhaled.
“We had a trauma come in early in the evening,” she said, voice rough with fatigue. “Car accident. A mother and her two kids. The mother didn’t make it. The kids…” She hesitated, then let out a breath. “They’re stable now, but I don’t know what’s going to happen to them.”
Maya’s stomach twisted papainfully.
She knew how much Carina carried cases like that with her.
How she took every loss personally, especially when it came to families.
“I’m so sorry, baby,” Maya whispered.
Carina hummed softly, but didn’t respond.
Maya could picture it—Carina sitting in her office, her posture tense, her eyes heavy with exhaustion, running a hand through her hair as she tried to process another impossible day.
And on top of it all—
She was still hurt by Maya’s secret.
Still carrying the weight of that pain too.
Maya took a slow, steadying breath.
“Have you eaten?” she asked.
Carina let out a small, tired laugh.
“I haven’t even had time to sit down, let alone eat.”
Maya closed her eyes, exhaling sharply through her nose.
“Carina—”
“I know, I know,” Carina interrupted before Maya could scold her. “I just… haven’t had the chance.”
Maya felt something tighten in her chest.
“You need to take care of yourself,” she whispered. “You’re pregnant, Carina.”
Another pause.
Then—
“I know,” Carina murmured.
But she still sounded so, so tired.
Maya bit her lip, her grip on the phone tightening.
“You’re not just working for yourself anymore,” she whispered. “You have to eat. You have to rest. You have to—”
“I know,” Carina repeated, softer this time.
Maya let out a slow breath.
And then, after a beat—
“I miss you.”
Carina sighed.
“I miss you too.”
It wasn’t fixed.
The distance was still there.
But Carina had called her first.
She had let Maya take care of her, even if it was just through the phone.
And that meant something.
A few seconds of silence stretched between them, then—
“How’s Liam?”
Maya smiled softly, leaning against the wall, pressing her fingers against her temple to ground herself.
“He’s perfect,” she murmured. “He was giggling all night, kicking like crazy before I put him down.”
Carina sighed, and Maya could almost hear her smiling through the phone.
“I miss him,” Carina admitted.
Maya’s heart clenched.
“I’ll send you a picture,” she offered.
“Please.”
Maya nodded, already opening her phone’s camera roll, scrolling to a picture she had taken of Liam earlier that night, wrapped up in his little blanket, his curls messy from sleep.
She sent it and waited.
A moment later, she heard Carina sigh softly.
“He’s so beautiful,” Carina whispered.
Maya closed her eyes, feeling warmth spread through her chest.
“He is,” she agreed.
They sat in silence for a moment, just breathing together.
And then, softly—
“I should go,” Carina murmured. “My break is almost over.”
Maya’s chest tightened again.
She didn’t want to let go yet.
Didn’t want to end the conversation knowing Carina was still processing everything alone.
So she took a deep breath and tried one last time.
“Carina?”
A pause.
“Yes?”
Maya hesitated.
Then—
“I love you,” she whispered.
A breath.
Then—
“I love you too.”
Soft.
Genuine.
But still holding something back.
Maya felt it.
She felt all of it.
But she let it go.
For now.
“Get some rest when you can, okay?” Maya murmured.
Carina sighed. “I’ll try.”
Maya let out a small chuckle. “That’s all I can ask for.”
Another moment of silence.
Then—
“Goodnight, Maya.”
Maya swallowed.
“Goodnight, my love.”
And then—
The call ended.
And Maya was left sitting in the quiet again, staring at her phone, knowing Carina was still upset.
Knowing they still had so much more to talk about.
But at least she had heard Carina’s voice.
At least she knew Carina still wanted to talk to her, even if she wasn’t ready to let go of the hurt just yet.
And that was something.
Not enough.
But something.
Maya Prepared Breakfast Knowing Carina Would Be Home Soon
Maya woke up early.
Earlier than usual.
She had barely slept, her mind still restless after her late-night call with Carina. The exhaustion sat heavy in her bones, but she didn’t care.
Because Carina was coming home soon.
And Maya wanted to do something right.
She moved around the kitchen quietly, careful not to wake Liam, letting the warmth of the stove and the scent of coffee fill the space.
She wasn’t the best cook—Carina was the one who made actual meals—but Maya could handle breakfast.
So she made Carina’s favorites.
She set everything on the table, glancing at the clock.
Carina should be home any minute.
Maya took a deep breath, rubbing the back of her neck.
Would Carina still be upset?
Would she even want this—the quiet gesture, the effort Maya was trying to make?
Or would the distance still be there, lingering in the space between them like a wound that refused to close?
She didn’t know.
But she wanted to try.
Because she missed her.
Because she hated that Carina was hurting because of her.
Because no matter what, no matter how much guilt weighed her down—
Maya still loved her more than anything in this world.
The Second Carina Walked in, Maya Knew Something Was Wrong
Maya heard the door open.
She turned quickly, her heart leaping at the sight of Carina standing in the doorway, still in her scrubs, her hair slightly messy from her shift, dark circles under her eyes from pure exhaustion.
But it wasn’t just that.
Something was off.
Carina’s face was too pale, her lips slightly parted as she took a shaky breath.
And before Maya could even greet her—
Carina’s expression changed, her body tensing, her hand covering her mouth as she rushed straight to the bathroom.
Maya’s stomach dropped.
She moved instantly, following her without hesitation.
The second she stepped inside, she found Carina hunched over the toilet, gripping the edge of the sink for support as she gagged violently.
Maya’s chest clenched painfully.
She knelt beside her, rubbing gentle, slow circles on Carina’s back.
“It’s okay,” she whispered. “I’m here.”
Carina let out a soft, tired whimper, resting her forehead against her arm, her breaths shaky.
Maya grabbed a cool washcloth, pressing it against Carina’s neck, brushing loose strands of hair away from her face.
Carina swallowed hard, eyes fluttering closed as she leaned into Maya’s touch.
Maya exhaled softly, her fingers lingering.
“You’ve been sick a lot lately,” she murmured, voice laced with worry.
Carina let out a weak laugh, tilting her head slightly to glance at Maya.
“That’s what happens when you’re growing a tiny human inside of you.”
Maya tried to smile, but she could still see how tired Carina looked.
Still see the way her body was struggling to keep up with the pregnancy and the crazy shifts at the hospital.
Maya swallowed.
“Carina…” she whispered.
Carina hummed softly, waiting.
Maya hesitated, then—
“You have to take care of yourself.”
Carina sighed, closing her eyes for a moment.
“I know.”
Maya let her fingers trail down her arm, her touch gentle, grounding.
“You’re pregnant, Carina,” she whispered. “You can’t just push through exhaustion like you used to. You need rest. You need to eat properly. You need—”
Carina turned toward her, her expression softer now.
“I know,” she repeated, this time with a little more warmth.
Maya let out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding.
For a moment, neither of them moved.
Then—
Carina’s lips curved slightly, tired but amused.
“Did you make breakfast?” she asked, her voice hoarse.
Maya blinked, caught off guard.
Then, slowly, she nodded.
“I wanted to do something nice for you.”
Carina exhaled softly, and Maya saw it—the small shift in her expression, the flicker of something tender beneath the exhaustion and hurt.
Something like love.
Like forgiveness in progress.
And Maya felt her chest ache in the best possible way.
Maya helped Carina to her feet, steadying her carefully.
Carina’s fingers lingered on Maya’s arm, like she didn’t want to let go.
Maya caught the hesitation in her touch.
And before she could think twice, she gently cupped Carina’s face, brushing her thumb across her cheekbone.
“You should lie down,” she murmured. “I’ll bring breakfast to bed.”
Carina blinked at her, her expression soft, open, vulnerable in a way that made Maya’s heart clench.
“I want to sit with you,” she said.
Maya sat beside Carina at the kitchen table, watching as her wife took slow, careful bites of breakfast.
She wasn’t eating much—but at least she was eating.
And that alone made Maya feel like she had done something right.
Carina hummed softly as she sipped her ginger tea, her eyes fluttering closed for a moment, her body still exhausted but more at ease.
Maya watched her intently.
She had missed this.
The quiet intimacy of simply being together.
The feeling of Carina’s presence without the heavy weight of unspoken words between them.
She reached out, hesitating for just a second before gently resting her hand on top of Carina’s.
Carina blinked up at her, her dark eyes still heavy with sleep.
Maya swallowed.
“I meant what I said earlier,” she whispered. “You have to start taking care of yourself.”
Carina exhaled, turning her hand so their fingers interlaced.
“I know,” she murmured.
Maya squeezed gently.
“I can’t do this without you,” she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t want you running yourself into the ground.”
Carina tilted her head slightly, studying Maya in that way she always did when she was trying to read her completely.
Then, softly—
“I don’t want to lose you either.”
Maya felt something crack open inside her chest.
Because even though they had talked, even though Carina had admitted how much she feared losing her—hearing her say it again, now, in the soft morning light, made Maya’s throat tighten all over again.
She lifted Carina’s hand, pressing a lingering kiss against her knuckles.
“You won’t,” she whispered.
Carina exhaled slowly, her fingers gently brushing against Maya’s cheek.
And for a moment—
Nothing else mattered.
Just them.
Just this quiet promise between them
Curled up beside Maya in bed, still in the oversized sweatshirt Maya had given her, Carina's fingers tracing slow, lazy circles on Maya’s bare thigh beneath the covers.
Maya felt a shiver trail up her spine, but she didn’t move.
Didn’t want to break the moment.
Didn’t want to rush this.
Because Carina wasn’t just teasing her.
She was grounding herself.
And Maya could feel it.
She felt it in the way Carina’s fingers lingered a little too long against her skin, in the way she nuzzled into Maya’s neck, in the way her breath hitched every so often—like she wasn’t just holding Maya, but holding onto her.
Maya closed her eyes, exhaling softly, letting her hands travel slowly—one into Carina’s hair, the other sliding under the sweatshirt, fingers brushing against the smooth skin of her back.
Carina sighed softly, shifting closer.
Maya smiled.
“You’re supposed to be resting,” she murmured, pressing a slow, teasing kiss against Carina’s temple.
Carina hummed, her lips curving into a small smirk.
“I am resting,” she whispered, fingers trailing higher on Maya’s thigh.
Maya let out a shaky breath, her body reacting immediately, but she didn’t let herself get distracted.
She tightened her grip on Carina’s waist, her lips brushing against the shell of her ear.
“You’re insufferable.”
Carina giggled, but her laughter faded quickly, her hand stilling against Maya’s thigh, her fingers hesitating just slightly.
And that’s when Maya knew—
Carina wasn’t just playing.
She was stalling.
Maya pulled back just enough to look at her, her fingers brushing over Carina’s jaw, gently tilting her face up.
“What’s wrong?” she whispered.
Carina inhaled softly, her dark eyes searching Maya’s.
Then—
Her fingers curled against Maya’s skin, her voice dropping to a whisper.
“I was scared.”
Maya felt her breath catch.
Carina swallowed, her lashes fluttering as she tried to keep her composure, but the emotion was right there, lingering in the space between them.
“I didn’t just feel hurt when you told me about the wildfire, Maya.” She let out a shaky breath. “I felt terrified.”
Maya’s chest ached.
She knew.
She had known since the second she had seen the look in Carina’s eyes that night—the pain, the fear, the realization of how close she had come to losing her without even knowing it.
Maya swallowed, her fingers tracing soothing patterns against Carina’s skin.
“I should have told you sooner,” she admitted.
Carina exhaled slowly.
“Yes,” she murmured. “But it’s not just that, amore.”
Maya stilled.
Carina shifted, her hand moving to rest over Maya’s chest, right above her heart.
“I lost Andrea.”
Maya closed her eyes, already feeling her own emotions rising to the surface.
Carina’s voice was quiet, but heavy with emotion.
“I lost my brother,” she continued. “I watched him in that hospital bed, and I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t save him. I couldn’t stop it. I just… I lost him.”
Maya opened her eyes, cupping Carina’s face gently, her thumbs brushing away the tear that slipped down her cheek.
Carina let out a breath, shaking her head.
“And then I almost lost you,” she whispered. “And I didn’t even know.”
Maya pressed their foreheads together, her voice barely above a whisper.
“I’m here.”
Carina let out a small, shaky laugh, her lips ghosting over Maya’s jaw.
“I know.”
Maya kissed her softly—not deep, not rushed, just a slow, lingering kiss filled with every promise she didn’t know how to put into words.
Carina sighed into it, her hands sliding around Maya’s waist, pulling her closer.
Maya let herself melt into it, let herself feel the warmth of Carina’s body against hers, the steady rhythm of her heartbeat, the way her breath hitched ever so slightly when Maya’s fingers traced lazy patterns on her hip.
She felt alive in a way she hadn’t in days.
She pulled back just slightly, her lips brushing against Carina’s as she whispered—
“You’re stuck with me, Dr. DeLuca.”
Carina let out a small, breathless laugh, her fingers tightening against Maya’s skin.
“That’s what I’m counting on.”
Maya grinned, nipping playfully at Carina’s lower lip, reveling in the soft gasp that followed.
And just like that, the tension shifted again—the weight of their emotions still lingering, but now laced with something else entirely.
Something softer.
Something lighter.
Something safe.
Carina’s lips curved into a smirk as she rolled Maya onto her back, her body pressing into hers, her fingers teasing, wandering, exploring.
Maya giggled, brushing Carina’s hair back from her face, her heart swelling at the sight of the love in her wife’s eyes again.
“Thought you were exhausted,” Maya teased, breathless.
Carina hummed, nuzzling into the curve of Maya’s neck, her lips grazing the sensitive skin there.
“I think I’m feeling better,” she whispered.
Maya shivered, laughing softly, her hands gripping Carina’s hips.
“Mmhm. Convenient.”
Carina chuckled, pressing a warm, slow kiss to Maya’s collarbone before whispering against her skin—
“I love you, Maya.”
Maya’s heart clenched, her breath hitching as she flipped them back over, capturing Carina’s lips in another slow, reverent kiss.
“I love you too.”
And this time—
There were no shadows between them.
No fear.
Just them, wrapped up in love, in laughter, in everything they had fought so hard to protect.