Shared Scars

Regulus woke up exaggeratedly early that day. He thought no one else would be up at 6:19 am at his house, but he was wrong.

A few knocks were heard at the door, the boy jumped, surprised to hear any noise apart from the sound of his piano vinyl playing in the background. Regulus hurried to open the door.

— Regie! Knew you would be awake! — Sirius whispered, grinning widely. — Can I?

Regulus stepped away from the door, letting his brother through. He didn't say anything. Regulus was one of those people who preferred not to talk in the morning, he was better off thinking, at least until after breakfast. Sirius was the complete opposite. It was much harder for him to get up than Reggie, that was true, but once he was up there would be no human way to silence Sirius Black, much less on days as special as this one. His trip to Hogwarts just a few hours later.

Sirius Black had come home only one night before. He and Regulus had not spoken yet. Regulus hadn't been able to prevent a certain resentment from resurfacing when he saw him, he had preferred to leave a day aside to avoid saying anything he might regret later. Sirius hadn't had much time to stop and talk to his brother either. Since his return, both Orion and Walburga had spent every minute threatening and lecturing Sirius on how his second year must be better. Besides, the remaining time had gone straight to picking up the few things that Sirius had left in his room and wanted to take to Hogwarts.

— Do you have everything packed? — Sirius asked excitedly jumping on Regulus's bed. —

Regulus held out his arm, pointing to a huge dark green trunk that was tightly closed, still not speaking. Definitely too soon to ask Regulus Black for a single word.

— Me too. I thought maybe I was rushing this year, but I immediately assumed that you would have gotten up even earlier than me. How long have you been awake?

— Since five, — Regulus lied. —

The truth is that Regulus had not slept. He had been finding it impossible to fall asleep for a few weeks due to the nerves of starting school.

— You definitely carry the madness of the Blacks in your blood, brother.

Regulus couldn't help but laugh at this and Sirius was glad to see that his brother was actually awake and not just sleepwalking picking things up.

— I don't know how you fit everything in that mini trunk, I had to sit on it to make it close! And that taking into amount that the turntable and most of the records are carried by James.

Regulus's stomach churned at hearing the name of Sirius's best friend. For the first time he saw imminent the meeting of the famous James Potter that his older brother talked about so much. He didn't say anything, he just stood still looking at Sirius with an unreadable gaze.

— I hate it when you do that, — Sirius said after a few seconds of staring and silence. —

— Do what? — Regulus snapped out of his trance —

— Look at me like that. There's no way to know what you're thinking. Whether it's your favourite flavour of ice cream or six ways to murder your entire family, it's indecipherable. freaks me out.

— I'm sorry. Regulus looked away and walked to his dark wood desk. —

On Regulus's desk there was a small pile of things that weren't packed. A book of English poetry that Narcissa had lend him, a quill pen with black ink, a leather-bound notebook Regulus used for journaling, a packet of handkerchiefs, an old letter stamp with an image of a green rose to which petals falling off, a metal tin with black liquorice candies, and a red apple.

— I don't know where to fit this, — Regulus said, staring at the pile of things almost as if he was thinking out loud and not talking to his brother. —

Sirius got up from the bed and stood shoulder to shoulder next to Reg looking at the pile of things. His face lit up and a smile appeared, that Sirius Black's gin.

— I'll be right back!

— Mhh?

Regulus went to protest, but before he had time Sirius had bolted to his room.

In less than a minute Sirius was back in Regulus' room with a strawberry print cloth bag in his hands. Reggie looked at the pink and red bag and raised an eyebrow as if to say, what the hell is that Sirius? Sirius looked down and chuckled at the strawberries pattern he probably wouldn't have noticed before.

— Ah, the bag belongs to Mrs. Potter, I couldn't find another place to bring it.

— What is it?

— Do you remember the first letter I sent you this summer?

— Umm, yeah...

— Well, in it I told you that I wanted to have given you something before I left. It wasn't a lie, I accidentally took it with me in my suitcase, but in fact it turned out better in the end, so I can give it to you now.

— Sirius I- — Regulus wasn't sure what he wanted to say, but he didn't need it either, his brother interrupted him earlier —

— Open it! Later you complain if you want, little melodramatic.

— I… okay…

Sirius handed the strawberries patterned bag to Regulus and he opened it. From the bag he took out a black messenger bag. A sailcloth messenger bag. It had several side pockets and a fairly simple design. Regulus was stunned for a few minutes, holding the bag in his hands... He loved it.

— Sirius this is...— The little boy was speechless; he really didn't expect such a gift. —

— Great, isn’t it? I bought it for you at the beginning of the summer so that you could carry it as a backpack in your first year. I wished I had one when I walked in and thought you wouldn't have one, so I asked Remus to find something cool for my brother and he sent me this one. As soon as I saw the bag, I knew it was perfect, the bastard has an amazing ability to pin down the details of people and with what I had told him about you he knew how to choose perfectly.

— Has Lupin chosen it? — Regulus said without looking up from his new most cherished possession. —

— Well... I described what I wanted and he... yes! he's better for shopping, I wouldn't have been able to go anywhere here with the family. Also, I wanted it to be Muggle. So… you like it then?

— It's great Sirius, thank you very much.

Regulus hugged his brother.

— Wait! That's not the best. A detail is missing.

— More? Regulus said in astonishment.

— It's an accompanying detail...

Sirius rummaged in the pocket of his tunic and took out a black badge that had a drawing of the constellation Leo. Then he rummaged in the other and took out an identical one, but with the constellation of the Canis major.

— They are pins. Remus says that Muggles use them to decorate their bags. I made one for each, matching. Sirius and Regulus.

Regulus took them in his hands to take a closer look and was excited. They were wonderful.

— I love them. Thanks.

Sirius placed his in his backpack and Regulus put it in the lid of his bag.

— You can put more badges if you like, decorate your bag to make it unique. Every year we'll go buy a badge together and we'll put them on, deal?

— Deal.

They both smiled.

The station was packed with people. Regulus hated crowds. Students ran and shouted from one place to another, suitcases flew, and parents said goodbye to their children with tears in their eyes.

Walburga Black, on the other hand, had a grip on Sirius's shoulder so tightly that his back was arching backwards. Regulus and Sirius were supposed to get on the train together, but not before his mother allowed it.

The little boy watched everything around him. A million new things were appearing in front of his green sparkly eyes. New colors, new people. Regulus paid attention to some of the students who passed by shouting or running, and tried to guess which houses they were going to be sorted into. Shy boy with brown hair, little brown backpack bobbing off his shoulders, scared look on his face, black shoes, clean and shiny, maybe Ravenclaw. Almost white blonde girl, long hair with a couple of coloured braids, brown shoes with pink socks, many bracelets almost sure handmade, a crystal necklace that moves from her neck, she looked confident and fuzzy at the same time, definitely hufflepuff. Behind the girl, a blond boy too, bright eyes, smile on his face, wand in hand, navy blue shoes, a ring with a green stone, Regulus didn't know why, but he was sure he was going to Slytherin. Then he tried to see himself from the outside, Regulus Black, frightened, green eyes, black shoes perfectly tied, white shirt milimetrically ironed, black sailcloth bag with a badge on his shoulder, combed hair, what would people think? Ravenclaw? Hufflepuff? Slytherin? would anyone see him as a Gryffindor? Regulus felt more pressure in that moment than he had in the entire summer.

The train was bigger than Regulus had expected. Walburga had given them the signal and they had both gone up without waiting another second.

As soon as they had set foot on the train, Sirius had started to smile. Regulus loved to see his brother happy.

— Come with me Reggie! The guys and I agreed to meet in the same carriage as last year, I will introduce you to all of them.

Regulus didn't have time to reply, Sirius grabbed his wrist and pulled him out, running. Reg's wrist hurt. The last cut Walburga had made had not healed properly and had become slightly infected, Regulus planned to go to the infirmary as soon as he arrived.

Sirius stopped in front of a carriage and looked through the small glass door. That Sirius Black grin. He opened the door and entered. Regulus entered too but much more slowly and visibly uncomfortable.

— Brother! — Sirius first hugged a boy with glasses —

— Sirius, mate!

Regulus guessed that would be James Potter. James was the one Sirius talked about the most, the golden boy. Regulus couldn't stop a wave of suspicion from running through his body, it still hurt that Sirius had chosen to spend his summer with James instead of him. He tried to ignore it. He really did.

He looked around the wagon, there were three boys besides his brother and him. The first one, the one Regulus had guessed to be James Potter; a boy of medium height, brown skin, and dark eyes, he had a huge smile, he radiated an energy that Regulus had never seen in anyone, this James Potter looked… he looked good, happy, he looked so confident. Next to James, a short blond boy, he had a bag of sweets in his hands, he was carrying a cloth bag with a notebook and a couple of pencils, he was smiling, he seemed very pleased to see Sirius. Regulus guessed this was Peter Pettigrew because clearly the remaining one had to be Lupin. Remus Lupin, a boy of similar height to James, with light brown hair that was slightly curly, rather wavy perhaps, was wearing Muggle clothing, dark orange corduroy pants and a khaki green shirt over which he wore a sweater that it looked old, threadbare. Regulus couldn't help noticing, Remus was full of... full of scars, they ran all over his neck and hands and he had a few small ones on his face. Reg had always been curious and couldn't help but wonder what had given a 12-year-old boy so many scars.

— Marauders, this is my little brother, Regulus. — Sirius introduced him after greeting everyone and sitting next to Remus Lupin —

— Pleasure Regulus, I'm James — of course the golden boy was the first to introduce himself —

— Peter Pettigrew

— Remus. Nice backpack, by the way. Remus smiled.

— Uhm, thanks. Sirius told me that you helped him choose it. — Regulus said, opening his mouth for the first time since he had entered. —

— Sit with us man, — James said, pointing to a gap next to Peter. —

— Thank you, — Regulus replied, sounding drier than he intended. —

— Well guys, I hope that in these days that we have been apart you have thought of a million and a half jokes for Snivellus and other Slytherins. — Sirius said smiling. —

— I have some ideas, yeah — said Lupin. —

— Ah, that’s our mastermind! — Sirius cheered —

Regulus tensed. He could be a Slytherin. According to what Narcissa had said, he was going to be a Slytherin. Regulus wanted to tell Sirius, but he didn't know where to get the courage to do it. He didn't have to worry much; the wonderful James Potter had already thought of this.

— Sirius, shouldn't we wait to see if your brother gets into Slytherin before declaring war on them? We can just go for Snape this year.

They all looked at James in astonishment. Clearly everyone had thought about the option of the Black's youngest son entering Slytherin, it wasn't very difficult to picture. Regulus felt completely out of place in the wagon. Sirius was suddenly quiet, his blue eyes fixed on James, wanting to say something, but clearly not knowing what.

— Can we talk outside James? — Sirius finally said. —

— What? Yes, of course, why? — James looked just as confused as Remus and Peter. Regulus was not. —

Both boys went out of the wagon and a deathly silence formed inside. There were a full two minutes of awkward silence and constant staring between the other two marauders, before Lupin finally dared to break it.

— Well... uh... Regulus, have you met someone from your year yet?

— Um… not actually.

— Oh

— Maybe I should take a walk around and see if I can find any of them. — Regulus desperately wanted to get out of that carriage for at least a while —

— Yeah, that's a great idea! — Peter said, forcing a smile, joining the conversation. —

— Regulus got up and picked up his sailcloth bag, ready to finally leave.

— Do you want me to go with you, mate? — Lupin proposed without getting up from his seat knowing exactly what Reggie's response would be —

— It's not necessary, thanks.

— Whatever you want. It's been a pleasure Regulus, let us know if you need anything.

— Thank you. See you.

— Bye Reg. — Peter said goodbye too. —

Regulus opened the wagon doors and found himself face to face with Sirius and James in the middle of an argument. There was no need for Regulus to ask what it was about, whenever it had to do with family, Sirius's eyes would go from a sky blue to a dark ink blue.

— Reg, where are you going? — Sirius stopped talking as soon as he saw his brother get out of the wagon. —

— I… I thought about going for a walk on the train. Maybe I can meet another first years.

— Oh... ehm... — Sirius didn't seem to know how to react. —

— That's a great idea, Regulus! We've seen a couple of guys go by who looked like first years not more than a minute ago. — James intervened before Sirius could say anything. —

— Thanks, I'll go have a look. Uhm…see you later Sirius?

— Ye- yes, see you later Reggie…

James looked at Regulus trying to tell him: I'll take care of him, don't worry. Regulus nodded and then tapping his brother on the shoulder, walked away.

Regulus immediately understood that James had learned to take care of Sirius in a year, it had taken him eleven. He felt a new feeling towards James Potter, envy. It dawned on him quickly that James was taking a place in Sirius's life that Regulus had held up to that point. He tried not to think about it at the time.

Regulus walked the halls alone, until that moment he had imagined how easy it would be to make friends, as if you arrived and out of nowhere Puff! You had a gang of friends for life. Regulus realized at that precise moment that he had no idea how to talk to new people. It gave him a strange tingle in his stomach just thinking about it. After seeing many children running around, all already in groups, he decided that the best thing would be to find an empty car and just sit alone and read. So that’s exactly what he did.

Regulus was sitting alone on the bench that faced the opposite direction the train followed, he liked it better that way. He took out one of the muggle chocolates his brother had given him: Maltesers. He opened the package and began to eat. Regulus had never been much of a fan of chocolate, but he decided right away that Maltesers were the best muggle chocolates he would ever try.

After two packets of Maltesers and a black liquorice taffy, there was a knock on the small glass of the wagon's door that brought Regulus out of his reading. It took him a second to get his bearings, suddenly he wasn't a Scottish poet riding free through an enchanted forest, he was just an eleven-year-old boy alone in the train. Or almost alone.

Regulus looked at the glass, a head poking out. A boy with tousled brown hair, lighter than Regulus's, dark eyes, a wide, open-mouthed smile. There was a special shine in his eyes, it reminded Regulus of the shine in Sirius's eyes when he had a joke on his mind. The boy turned as if speaking to someone next to him and opened the door.

— Finally! do you mind if we stay in this wagon man? We've been hanging around the train for bloody hours, there's no way, they're all full!

— Ehm… sure, yes, of course, come in. — Regulus closed his book and shifted a little awkwardly —

— Brilliant! Come on Rosier, we can pass!

Behind the brown-haired boy passed another. Regulus had seen that boy before, at the station, the Slytherin, the one with the green ring and the navy-blue shoes. His blue eyes were shining too, but in a different way than the dark-haired one, the first ones were mischief, the blond boy’s were illusion.

— Barty Crouch Jr. —The dark-haired boy extended his hand to Regulus introducing himself. Regulus took it —

— Regulus Black — he omitted his second name, which he hated —

— Black? Oh Merlin! my parents told me about that Black son who was going to be in class with me. Nice to meet you mate. — Barty smiled even more —

— Same, — Regulus smiled back. —

— This is Rosier, Evan Rosier. —Evan stepped forward and squeezed Regulus's hand as well. —

— Hi Evan, pleasure— Regulus responded —

Evan and Barty took place on the bench in front of Regulus.

— You're going to be a Slytherin, aren't you? Like the rest of your family. — Barty unscrupulously asked omitting Sirius’ matter —

— Um… I guess. I think so — Regulus replied timidly —you?

— I'm going to be a Slytherin, no doubt about it. What about you Evan?

— Also. Slytherins all three. — Evan said. —

— Brilliant! We can be roommates then!

Barty was the talkative out of the three of them. Evan was almost as quiet as Regulus, he smiled a lot more though, but overall he was closer to Regulus than Barty. It worked well actually, Barty didn't seem to mind talking for hours and Evan gained confidence as the train got closer to Hogwarts, Regulus was the least interactive but from the very beginning his rather reserved and quiet character fit perfectly with the two other boys.