Chapter 10
The first week of summer passed as pleasantly as Sirius could have hoped. He spent hours of his days sitting in his room, trying to find things to entertain himself with, and nobody bothered him. This was the only reason Sirius was grateful for Bellatrix’s upcoming wedding. Everyone was so busy going from Black house to Black house, gathering and packing. They were all to travel to the summer house in Scotland, where Bellatrix and Rodolphus’ wedding would take place.
The only reason Sirius felt solemn as they gathered around the kitchen fire one evening, was because Regulus had been giving him the cold shoulder. The very cold shoulder. He had barely spoken to him since he arrived. Sirius didn’t understand, didn't their last conversation end well? So once Walburga, Orion, and Kreacher with all the luggage, disappeared into the Floo; Sirius turned to Regulus.
“What’s your problem?” he asked, albeit not in the kindest tone.
“I don’t have a problem,” Regulus said shortly, stepping forward into the fire and vanishing before Sirius could reach him.
Sirius then stood there in the still house, taking his usual moment to realise he could try to walk away, but stepping into the fire after Regulus anyway.
When the green flames died down and soot stopped filling his nostrils, Sirius was thrown into a sea of relatives and the smell of many summers.
He stood there just long enough for his mother to shoot him a suspicious look that said he took too long, before taking off after Regulus.
“Reg,” he called as Regulus sped up, realising he was being followed by his brother, “Now I’m starting to think you’re actually angry at me.”
Regulus stopped, making Sirius skid to a halt and bumping into his great-aunt Dorea, who was only five years older than his mother and looked a mere image.
“You’re starting to think I’m angry at you?” Regulus stared up at him disbelievingly, “How many times do I have to ignore you for you to start to think I’m angry at you? Sirius, you really are the most big-headed wizard I have ever known!”
“Well you really haven’t known many wizards, so that’s quite good isn’t it?” Sirius flashed him a smile. Regulus groaned loudly and turned on his heel, stalking away again. Sirius had forgotten the charm he’d recently noticed he apparently had, didn’t work at home.
“Reg–” he started, reaching out, but a hand gripped his shoulder, taloned fingers digging into him. He turned, and of course it was Bellatrix. She smiled at him and tugged him to their left into the dining room.
Practically his entire family sat around the table already, in the midst of many discussions. He spotted his father, his uncle Cygnus, and great-uncle Charlus (great-aunt Dorea’s husband), talking as usual about the ministry in carrying voices at one end of the table. His grandfather was asleep in a chair at the other end, beside Andromeda and Narcissa who were being fawned over by his grandmother. His mother and aunt Druella were nowhere to be found.
Bellatrix steered him toward where Rodolphus sat, who glared daggers at Sirius as he sat down on Bellatrix’s other side. Bellatrix and Rodolphus immediately launched into hushed conversation.
Eventually Regulus entered. He was followed by Walburga and Druella, brows furrowed and odd expressions on their faces, Sirius couldn’t place. He strained his ears to hear what they were saying as they sat down, but was interrupted by his favourite aunt moving past to sit on his other side.
“Hello, darling,” Cassiopeia said, a slight edge to her voice that he ignored.
Dinner went smoothly. Until the end, that is. Then Sirius always seemed to have the attention drawn to himself. This time Druella said, directed toward him,
“Sirius, we need you for a fitting tomorrow. Wedding dress robes.”
He didn’t say anything, focused on gathering the remainder of his pie onto a fork.
“You and Regulus will both be wearing black robes. In fact everyone will be in black, except Bellatrix, of course.” Druella continued.
“Sirius,” Walburga snapped. Sirius’s head lifted at once,
“Yes, mother?”
“Are you going to answer your aunt?” she asked. He humoured her, but sometimes even that didn’t work out in his favour.
“Black is perfect, Aunt Druella,” he said.
“What were you hoping to be dressed in? Crimson and gold?” Bellatrix taunted. Sirius sighed on the inside. This would not end well for him.
“Yes actually,” Sirius retorted, “I was going to personally invite Albus Dumbledore to the reception but now you're giving the impression that’s not what you want.”
Anger flashed in Walburga’s eyes, but Bellatrix laughed.
“Sirius…bedroom,” Walburga said, stiffly.
Sirius stood up and left the dining room. His uncle Alphard winked at him as he left, leaning on the back legs of a chair. Alphard had been Sirius’s role model since he was young. They’d barely spoken five words to each other but he always showed up only to important family events, wore a black leather jacket at all times, and visibly hated Walburga Black. Thus; Sirius’s role model.
Sirius did not go to his bedroom. First of all, even if he was hiding in a drawing room, he wasn’t going to give his mother the satisfaction. And second, he knew Bellatrix well enough to know she would go out through that drawing room to smoke.
So when she walked in and pulled out a pack of smokes, he approached. She didn’t act surprised, just silently offered him one which he refused. Once they were outside, and Sirius felt he was right about the good mood she was in, he said,
“I want you to teach me Occlumency.”
Bellatrix thought for a moment, then mentioned,
“Last time I tried, you were shit.”
“That’s not true,” Sirius said, “And even if it is, I’m older now. I know some magic. I’ll be better.”
“Some magic won’t make you prepared for Occlumency,” she turned her head to face him. Sirius tried again,
“You taught Narcissa when she was younger than I am now.”
Bellatrix shot him a look as if to say, ‘Narcissa’s better at magic’. Then she dropped her cigarette, stamped it out with the heel of her boot. and took out her wand. Sirius couldn’t really see her expression through the dark but he was determined to convince her to teach him. He needed it, if not for himself then for Regulus.
What he was not expecting, but should have been, was her saying “Legilimens,” in an almost bored tone. He felt his mind open up. He couldn’t feel anything other than emptiness and at the same time, crowded with his own life. Not used to anyone other than his mother being there, he jumped to moments he felt comfortable, amidst all the uncomfort he felt coursing through him. Just a whirl of James, Peter, Remus, Remus again, James, James, James. Then it stopped. He could suddenly remember he was standing on concrete, he wasn’t sure if he had ever stopped standing. He was panting and had a searing headache and Bellatrix was laughing in front of him. Really laughing. Like the inside of his mind was the most entertaining thing in the world.
Sirius felt a rage he had never felt when anyone else was rifling through his mind. Bellatrix hadn’t given him any time to prepare. She took advantage of him and he had set himself up for it. She had never planned to help him at all.
Sirius was angry, if anyone couldn’t tell, which Bellatrix would know when she went into her bedroom later in the evening. Sirius no longer cared if he ended up petrified for the next week, he was storming around her bedroom, kicking articles of clothing she had piled on the floor, purposefully rearranging things on her desk, and going through her trunk. He had no real goal, just to go through her personal belongings like she had his. For long enough he’d had to put up with her narcissistic nature. She had always been arrogant, but Sirius couldn’t remember the moment it had gotten worse until it had. He felt as if he could no longer irritate her. This bothered him beyond belief.
When he shuffled something on her desk and a small ink well fell and smashed on the floor, Sirius crouched down to assess the damage, planning to leave it there like the rest of the disturbed room. To his immediate right, the corner of an envelope was sticking out from in between a jumble of stockings in Bellatrix’s trunk. He hadn’t looked particularly closely at the contents of the trunk, the only goal being to make a disturbance, but he found his interest peaked. Pulling out multiple opened envelopes and stray letters, in the same swirly handwriting; Sirius almost didn’t want to look anymore.
They were all letters from the same witch, Rita Skeeter, of course. Sirius shuffled through them, reading bits and pieces. The letters were very very versatile, ranging from sharing ambitions and grievances;
…My mother is being terribly irritating again. I swear, Bella, someday I’ll be out of here. As soon as I secure that Daily Prophet job. I’ll be gone not a minute later…
Some slightly personal for Sirius’s liking, though not too intimate in case the letter was intercepted;
…Do you remember that day after your Defence Against the Dark Arts OWLs when you stormed into the dorm, in quite a tirade if I’m being honest? Carlotta was off with one of her boyfriends at the time (can’t remember which one). Anyway I was fretting over my hair, sobbing on my hairbrush, you forgot about your own problems and fixed it for me. It wasn’t my hair I was crying over, not really, but you cared. That was the moment I knew. Do not listen to them and don’t believe for one moment you aren't absolutely full of sympathy. I know you…
Then there were the inevitable letters of upset and full-blown anger, reminding Sirius strongly of how he was feeling;
…I am not completely sure how I’m writing to you right now. Sometimes I’m not completely sure how I’m still breathing at all. Bellatrix. How could you? I get the family loyalty and the danger in that, but I offered you a safe place. You could have come to me. You didn’t. It’s obvious you’ve made your choice and there’s nothing I can do about it. Do you not understand the full severity of getting MARRIED to him? Do you not understand that you’re losing me? Even looking at your name is sickening…
Sirius tore his eyes away from the letters, not feeling at all compelled to read more. All they were doing was further confirming what he’d witnessed in the library.
“What are you doing in my bedroom, baby cousin?”
Sirius’s head snapped up. He hadn’t heard Bellatrix come in, which was surprising since the boots she wore were so heavy. He watched as her eyes travelled from him kneeling in front of her open trunk, to the jumble of letters in his hands. Her piercing brown eyes rested on his face and he forced himself to lift his head slightly, keeping her gaze.
“What are those?” Bellatrix asked, in the sickly sweet voice she always reserved for him.
“Letters,” Sirius answered, sitting still.
Bellatrix smiled, a smile void of humour,
“Who’s letters?” she cocked her head a little.
“Uh, must be Narcissa’s or Andromeda’s,” Sirius said, “I found them on the floor.”
Bellatrix immediately swooped down on him and snatched them out of his hands,
“Liar!” she spat out, “What are you doing in my bedroom, Sirius?!”
“Nothing!” Sirius jumped to his feet, regretting his decisions already.
“You’re a filthy little liar! This is where you went, isn’t it?” she shook her head, black curls she tangled into a braid, swinging over her shoulder, “You’ve always been a bloody snooping cunt! You wait– Aunt Walbur–”
“You tell anyone and I’ll tell them about you and Skeeter,” Sirius didn’t even say it very loudly but Bellatrix whipped around from where she was headed out the doorway. Her face looked so fierce but he now had something against her. He was used to these changes of mood and picked up that it was time for retaliation.
“Oh, Sirius,” Bellatrix grinned and Sirius was suddenly worried she had another plan, “There is no way you got anything from these letters,” she twitched the papers in her hand like they meant nothing to her.
“No,” Sirius said quietly, knowing he had her attention, “But I heard you in the library, the last week of school.”
Bellatrix’s face paled even though her expression remained the same,
“No you didn’t,” she said.
“How would I know about this if I didn’t?” Sirius said, curious and knowing she was the absolute wrong person to ask; “Why didn’t you leave with her? If you had an out, would you?”
“Rita’s a fool. She doesn’t know anything about this family,” Bellatrix said stoically, “You don’t know anything about this family.”
“I know enough,” Sirius muttered.
Bellatrix let out a shout of laughter,
“Believe me, you don’t.”
“I know what would happen if I told them…” Sirius darted forward, trying to get Bellatrix caught off guard. He was not successful.
“Stupefy!” Bellatrix shrieked, before Sirius even got within a metre of her, and stepped so close he could feel her hair tickling him, “You wouldn’t dare. Not as if anyone would believe you anyway. If you do breathe a word of this, I will make sure your life is as miserable as someone’s life can get, do you hear me? Get out!”
She glanced down like she’d had an idea then stomped hard on his foot.
When she’d lifted the spell, he hurried out the door, stumbling a little. Though it had not gone at all according to plan, it could have been worse.