sirius giggled as remus belted out the first lyrics,
“DID YOU STAND THERE ALL ALONE? OH I CANNOT EXPLAIN WHATS GOING DOWN”
and oh was he so in love with that smile and that voice, his curls and his scars, his freckles and his eyes.
“moons where am i driving?” sirius laughed out in question as remus continued to dramatically sing,
remus laughed again, “anywhere”
sirius grinned so hard at his happy husband that his cheeks hurt.
turning the music up and rolling down their windows, sirius joined the singing as the chorus sang out
“you can drive…. ALL NIGHT” sirius called out loudly, dramatically turning his head towards his laughing husband, “LOOKING FOR THE ANSWERS IN THE POURING RAIN”
his moony laughed and sirius wasn’t sure he had ever been this happy, he wished he could stare at his husband all of the time, at his smile and at his delicate eyes, so it took all of his strength to keep his eyes on the road.
the pair drove for hours, singing and chatting, before they eventually stopped looping round the city and parked at the beach
they may be twenty seven years old but that didn’t stop them from racing down onto the sand, laughing and yelling as they tripped and went tumbling down together, landing on their backs with their faces to the sky.
there’s a few moments of silence as they catch their breath, and then…
“i can see your star”
sirius turned his head to gaze at remus, a soft smile on his lips as he watched the way remus grinned up at the stars, eyes slowly raking over the sky as he looked for different constellations.
oh how he loved him.
“don’t lose it” he returns softly, the same thing he always answers with, smiling as remus turned to face him,
“as if i could ever lose you”
sirius let out a laugh and leant forward to capture remus’ lips in a chaste kiss.
“there’s no way you could get rid of me anyway, i’d hold onto you and never let go, you’re not leaving me”
sirius said it with a chuckle but watched as something flashed over his moonys face.
“you okay?” he whispered after remus had gone quiet for a moment, reaching out a hand to push it through remus’ curls.
“yeah pads” he grinned, “just feeling a bit sick all of the sudden”
sirius clicked his tongue at his husband, “gosh moons, you should of said?! let’s get you home”
it was a few minutes later and the pair had trekked back to the car, where remus had rested himself in the passenger seat, grabbing his phone to connect up the music, ‘here comes the sun’ playing softly in the background as sirius drove them away from the beach.
“can we go to james and reg’s house?” remus started hopefully, a look in his eyes sirius was yet to decipher. he answered quickly any way.
“course love, any reason why though?”
remus just smiled at him,
“james makes the best chicken soup”
sirius rolled his eyes, though he was still grinning just as hard as before.
“excuse me i make a wonderful chicken soup” he scoffs with a shake of his head.
remus let out a chuckle, “course love, just don’t feel like burning the kitchen down today”
sirius tried to glare at him for that but it was only a matter of moments before he was laughing, remus joining in as they drove the few minutes to their friends house.
“i just want to call my mum real quick” remus spoke when they had arrived, holding up his phone as sirius parked the car.
“okay, do you want me to stay?” sirius asked lightly,
remus smiled softly at him, “nah pads you go inside, i’ll be there in a few”
“okay love, don’t be too long though,” sirius spoke as he jumped out of the car, switching the lights on as he did so, ”and make sure you turn off the lights when you come in love”
remus simply smiled in response, “okay pads, i love you “he spoke finally, to which sirius’ worried look split into a grin, leaning forward to kiss his husband on the forehead before repeating the sentiment, trotting off happily to the front door, casting one last look to his moon before letting himself in with his spare key - hoping that his brother and best friend were not doing anything he didn’t want to see.
“HONEY IM HOME” sirius shouted in delight, shutting the door behind him as he swept into the kitchen,
there’s thundering footsteps and suddenly he’s being pulled into a tight hug, and he freezes for a moment before he realises that it was james wrapped around him.
“woah prongsie, what’s all this?” sirius chuckles, laughter dying as he took note of his best friends red rimmed eyes.
james shook his head harshly, stepping out of the hug as regulus came to stand infront of his brother.
sirius took notice of they was his eyes were quite the same as james’.
“you can’t keep doing this sirius.” the younger boy spoke firmly, hands on either shoulder of his brothers.
sirius was so incredibly confused at this moment, “huh? doing what, i was just on a drive with moony? speaking of moony, he needs some soup- he’s sick.”
his confusion only grew when james burst into sobs beside him.
“james wha-“ he began, his question interrupted by two firm hands on either side of his face, and his brothers face coming into view.
“sirius please, it’s effecting everyone and this isn’t healthy- you have to stop.”
his mind was spinning, stop what? what was going on and why was james crying?
sirius huffed out a sound of confusion, “stop what reg!!?”
his brother eyed him quietly for a moment “you really don’t-“ he cut himself off from his own sentence.
“where’s remus?” he ended on asking,
sirius felt a little better as he knew this answer.
“in the car on the phone to his mum, he’s coming in soon” he answered simply, face twisting up in confusion once again as a tear fell down his brothers cheek.
“no sirius, he’s not” regulus spoke after a moment.
sirius scoffed, “yes he is”
regulus grabbed his hand suddenly, pulling him towards the front door, pushing it open harshly
“look sirius. he’s not there. you know where he is” and the way he spoke seemed frustrated in a way that sirius couldn’t decipher.
when he did peer out towards his car, expecting to see remus talking to his mum- the car was empty.
and yes that was strange but perhaps he had taken a walk while he was on the phone? regulus didn’t seem to agree when he stated this though, another tear cascading down his face (why is everyone crying? sirius had thought) as he pulled sirius back inside the house, pushing him into the couch james was quietly crying upon.
“sirius look at me.” regulus spoke once more.
and as his eyes locked onto his brothers once more, regulus spoke again.
“remus died, sirius.”
what?
oh
oh.
his brain seems to crash down on him all at once with memories of the fated day just weeks ago.
it was a drunk driver, remus was gone on impact
he didn’t suffer they said. he.. he-
“i- i know that i- i just” sirius couldn’t feel anything but the force of the grief that had hit him
gasping into his hands after a moment, sobs crashing harder the more he thought about his husband
remus remus remus you can’t do this to me it hurts too much.
“he was right there” he cried to his brother, “i felt him he was there and we spoke and-and”
“breathe sirius”
“he was singing and he was happy, WE WERE SO HAPPY”
i miss you i can’t do this re please
“fuck james he’s gonna make himself pass out?! breathe sirius BREATHE”
i don’t care if you weren’t real it was real to me- i wish i stayed longer
will i ever see you again?
it’s his final thought before the darkness takes over.
the car battery dies overnight, and sirius decides that it’s some kind of cruel joke from the universe.
until he realises that after all,
no one had been there to turn off the lights.