Orange marmelade
The book on potion making she was reading was enthralling but she couldn’t focus. Noises invaded her head, cheerful bantering, laughing, the wrinkling of paper. It was all too loud for her to be able to focus. A dull thrumming echoed in her head as pain pressed up behind her eyelids. Migraine meds she thought before she remembered. They weren’t allowed to bring any medicine to the castle, any health centered problems should be taken to Madam Pomfrey.
She sighed heavily and resigned herself to a rough night. It was almost curfew and she just wanted to go to bed. She wanted to get under the covers, sleep and then be rid of that awful migraine. She had had them for ages, ever since she was a kid, her mom too. Her mom used to make her toast with orange marmalade. Always orange marmalade because she knew it was her favorite. But that was before Hogwarts.
She stood up, clutching the book to her chest for some semblance of warmth. Her vision was slightly blurred around the edges, she walked extra carefully up the spiral staircase.
Only Marlene was up which was not that surprising. Mary usually stayed down till it was no longer a lively crowded nightmare. She was Lilys opposite in that regard, she loved the party’s, the crowd, all the people chattering away about gossip. Lily could but only occasionally and usually needed a bit of alcohol to stand it.
Something warmed her from the inside as she thought of the last party she had attended. Mary had made her seem too much of a goody two shoes to drink. Lily had downed it in one, forcing herself not to grimace. She didn’t have much drinking experience and everyone knowing that would just reinforce Mary’s point. Lily had quickly realized she was a bit of a light weight, but she had liked the feeling and downed more shots, witches brew being her favorite. She only had blurry moments from after that, of dancing with Regulus and James.
Regulus had been practically a stranger to her before that evening. He was always so poised, calm, possessed. She envied him that and had only recently realized that there were limits to Regulus stony, rock-solid exterior. He had always been eerily perfect, walking with a gracefulness she had never seen before.
James however was a different story. His feeling for her had been public ever since second year. She had found him infuriating for many years. An arrogant tosser she had thought. And he had always been arrogant, but she had later realized he didn’t push others down because of it. She had truly started seeing him in a new light after Sirius betrayed Remus. She had been livid, she would have very much liked to punch Sirius in the face, preferably breaking a few bones as well. If she was being honest with herself, she still hadn’t really forgiven him yet. She saw Remus break, all the life draining out of him, she didn’t think she could ever forgive him for it.
James had been so kind to him, and she begun to see that maybe he wasn’t so selfish after all. Then when Remus quit his prefect responsibilities, she had gotten to patrol with him. She slowly realized that she kind of liked him.
That party had been the beginning of something new.
She fell asleep surprisingly quickly, thinking about happy moments in their company.
When she woke the next morning, Mary was up and trying to wake Marls. A never-ending battle. Mary set her clock at the rise of the dawn basically just to get her makeup done, in Marlene’s very vocal complaints every single morning. Lily had always considered herself a morning person, usually waking up at six. Mary woke up at five every morning and looked completely awake and ready to start the day, fully dressed in accessories and makeup on.
Marlene was determinately not a morning person. She had her pillow pressed up over her face as she groaned.
“No leave me alone, I want to sleep, let me go” Marlene grumbled groggily. Mary tutted whilst tugging at the sleeve of her night shirt. It was a band t-shirt that she always slept in and was very fond of. It was of deep purple.
Lily sighed, rubbing her still sore head as Mary tried to force Marlene up. It was always a bit of a funny sight, Mary in shiny red lipstick, fully clothed and then Marlene, her blond hair a mess beneath her, dressed only in a band shirt and underwear.
Mary could manage to style even their boring uniforms. Her shirt had been pulled into a knot just above her navel, the sleeves rolled up to her elbows. The tie hanging over, setting the look off. Then she wore the black skirt, but she wore a pair of black see-through tights instead of just the usual grey socks. Golden hoops were dangling in her ears complementing her warm brown skin. Her hair was curly as ever hanging neatly over her shoulders.
Lily had always envied Mary’s style. Her confidence. She always walked like she owned the place, which she did in a way. All the guys wanted her and all the girls wanted to be her.
Lily’s confidence tended to fail her. She had never been exactly slim. All through school before Hogwarts people had hissed insults as she passed through the corridors. Though she had curves she didn’t have a completely flat stomach, no matter what she did. Her confidence had never allowed her to wear a cropped shirt and she was jealous of Mary’s courage, natural confidence.
She dressed and went down for breakfast steadfastly ignoring the Marlene situation.
Breakfast was just being served. Remus was sitting, his nose in a book, eating enough to feed a family. He had dark bags under his eyes. His skin was a sickly green contrasting starkly with his scars that shone bright as ever. She wondered if not for the hundredth time what could be ailing him.
Peter sat beside him, eating a moderate proportion as well. She wondered what it was with teen boys and eating so much. Sirius was picking tiredly at his breakfast; he was about as much of a morning person as Marlene.
Sirius yawned occasionally and Remus changed the page, but they didn’t speak, too tired the lot of them.
About 30 minutes later a smiling, springy James entered. His hair was damp, and a bead of water was sliding down his temple. He had that euphoric energy he always seemed to get after riding his broomstick. It always made something warm fill her up, that sweet, earnest smile. She forced herself into looking disdainful as he approached. “Of course, Potter had to ride his bloody broomstick like a maniac before breakfast” she rolled her eyes, seeing James smile in the corner of her eye.
“You have to eat sometime too” Remus mumbled, not taking his eyes of the book he was reading. “I know, I need fuel, what do you think I am doing?” James laughed as he filled a plateful of scrambled eggs, an apple and unsweetened porridge. Sirius wrinkled his nose, grimacing at James food of choice. “Are you going to eat that?” he asked, repulsed. James shrugged and nodded.
“Moony back me up here” Sirius pleaded.
“Unsweetened porridge must be one of the most disgusting foods ever. Fuel my arse” he muttered, changing the side without glancing up.
“Up yours” James smiled and lazily gave them the finger, taking a bite of his disgusting porridge.
“Are you serious? Are you really going to eating that? Lily asked, incredulous.
Remus and Peter groaned in unison, expecting something.
“No, I am Sirius” Sirius raised an eyebrow as he smirked. Lily laughed though all the others covered their face in embarrassment.
She took a cup of tea and two toasts with orange marmalade. Lily had a strange nostalgic feeling; she was missing the easy days with her sister. When they played in the park nearby, when the entire family played boardgames at night and cooked dinner together. There was no war back then. She was glad she had come to Hogwarts of course but she still missed those days sometimes. Most of all she missed her sister.
She exited early and left for the library. There she took forth a piece of parchment and a quill.
“Dear, Pet.
I hope you are doing alright. How’s mom and dad? I have been cramming extra hard for my exams coming at the end of this year. They are very important; they determine my future career. The OWL’s (Ordinary wizarding levels) i get will determine what NEWT’s (Nastily exhausting wizarding levels) I can take. How is your schoolwork going? It’s bloody freezing here, how about at home? Miss you /Lily
She tried to keep it short and not to mention Hogwarts to much. Her hurried footsteps echoed through the almost empty corridors, people were still at breakfast. She sent the owl and sighed, hoping her sister would answer.
A week later and she had a response. She opened it eagerly, hoping that her sister was happy and seeing the letter was in her opinion a sign that she might be coming around, willing to accept her being a witch.
Alas she was wrong.
“Lily.
I am not interested in hearing about your freak school! If you’re so busy, then you can stop pestering me with letters. I am busy, living a normal life, in a normal school. Leave me alone and stop calling me that ridiculous nickname! /Petunia
She hates me, Lily thought, an ache pressing over her chest. Her hand shook as she dropped the letter on her bedside table and crawled under her duvet, salty tears staining her pillow as she cried herself to sleep, knowing that her bond with Petunia was beyond repair.