Thawing
“Granger, if you don’t reveal yourself in the next ten seconds, I’m setting the curtain on fire.”
Ginny’s laughter only made her more nervous to emerge.
“Ten.” Pansy barked out. Hermione could practically see her with her arms crossed glaring at the curtain just from the tone she had used.
“Nine!” Ginny supplied, making Hermione wrinkle her nose in panic.
“Come on, Hermione, I’m sure it looks great!” Susan tried to help.
“Eight… Seven…”
Pansy’s foot started tapping in irritation.
“Six!”
“Five.”
She bit her lip. Gods why was this so hard for her? She’d been in a bathing suit many times and this wasn’t far from it. She looked down at herself. Okay it was a lot more revealing than a bathing suit.
“Four… three… two…”
Hermione stepped from behind the curtain before it went up in flames.
“Holy hell, Granger! You mean to tell me you look like that and have been hiding it under baggy muggle clothes and untailored robes!?” Pansy exclaimed.
Ginny just smiled and shook her head. “Thank Merlin she did, Pans. Just imagine all the interest in her if the boys knew she looked like that. Gave us all a chance.”
“Her mouth would have ruined it still.”
“Daphne, you’re still here, why?” Pansy remarked.
“I ask myself that question every day.” Daphne said as she left their dorm.
Pansy twirled her finger in the air signaling for her to make a turn. She did reluctantly. “Very good choice, Ginevra. The lace and straps accentuate her body perfectly.”
“He’s going to love you in it.” The redhead said, earning a quick but sharp glance from Pansy.
“Who is?”
Pansy moved by Ginny, coming to stand in front of Hermione and adjusting the strap that wound around her neck like a collar, but she didn’t miss the elbow Pansy threw at Ginny on her way.
“Oh no one!” Ginny hurried, “I just meant whoever it is that you show this to when the time comes.”
Hermione had the feeling she was missing something.
“Exactly!” Pansy confirmed. “Anyways, Gin don’t you need to be heading down to the field?”
“Yes actually, since Hermione took eight years to finally come out and show us… see you both in the stands?”
“Yes.” They replied in unison.
“You really do look good, Hermione.” Susan said with a smile before she was following Ginny out.
The two of them stood there for a few more moments, Pansy making silent adjustments or fretting over how she would have changed this or that if she had been the designer, while Hermione continued to chew her lip anxiously as the question she had been dying to ask edged its way up her throat. The very one she had been trying to keep inside ever since she finished her book and accidentally watched Draco in the bath. But she couldn’t hold it in much longer, it was on her tongue now, she could practically taste it.
“Pansy?”
Her friend had retrieved her sketch book at some point and was now drawing a lingerie set on a model that looked a lot like her.
“Pansy?” She tried again.
“Hmmm?”
Hermione swallowed quickly and closed her eyes. “How do I make myself…erm… cum?”
The pencil noises stopped immediately.
“Hermione. Dear. Please tell me that you’re not telling me that you’re never had an orgasm.”
She quickly stepped behind the curtain and changed back into her clothes to avoid answering. When she walked back out, Pansy was perched on her bed with her hands in her lap waiting patiently.
“Well, I mean… it’s not like I haven’t tried… it just… I don’t know, never mind.”
“Okay, well how many times have you tried?”
“A few I guess?”
“A few…”
“I didn’t really have time…”
“… didn’t have time…” Pansy parroted like it was the most ridiculous excuse.
She threw her hands up in frustration. “Yes, well unlike the rest of you, it was kinda hard to find time when I was living in a tent with boys and we were always fighting to stay alive!”
She hadn’t responded like that since she spoke out against Daphne and she felt immediate guilt run through her for the outburst.
“You and your friends weren’t the only ones that found yourselves on the other end of the Dark Lord’s wand, ya know?” Pansy responded quietly, eyes cast down while she picked at one of her finger nails.
“Oh Pansy, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. I felt cornered and lashed out.”
“Never apologize for expressing yourself, it’s healthy. I just wanted to point out that while everyone assumed we were evil by association, most of us were also just trying to survive. I may be a pure-blood but I didn’t always have the status like the boys… I got mine through making friends just like you did.”
Hermione nodded and then took a seat on her bed across from Pansy.
“Now, back to the more important topic,” Pansy smiled mischievously, “so you’ve tried and it doesn’t work. Has anyone else tried to make it happen?”
“Just Ron.”
“I always wondered if he had it in him. Guess that answers it. Krum didn’t get anywhere with you?”
She smacked a hand to her cheek in horror. “Oh god no. He wanted to but kissing him was so terrible that I couldn’t even fathom going further.”
Pansy threw her head back and laughed. “Yes,” she wheezed, “I prefer a partner with finesse as well. Hmm well okay. I suggest just trying to explore your body and figure out what you like first.”
“How am I supposed to know what I like?”
“That book of yours make you feel anything when you read certain parts?” She asked with a raised brow.
“Should I be concerned that you knew what I was reading even though I charmed the cover?”
“No. Now answer the question.”
Hermione fought the shudder that wracked her body thinking about the book she had finished the previous night. “Yes.”
“Good. Start there, think about those things and then touch yourself.” Pansy stood and grabbed the designer scarf from her bedpost. “Now come on, Gin will kill us if we’re late and we still have to collect the boys.”
It was a tough match. For everybody. Ginny’s team lost and she had taken a real beating from of the bludgers during the final moments. Pansy had waited for and threatened the wizard who had hit it at Ginny which ended up in a six-wand standoff between Pansy, Theo, Blaise with three Ravenclaws while Hermione did her best to get in the middle in an attempt to de-escalate only to be roughly pulled out of the way by the belt loop in her jeans by Draco so he could take her place between everyone instead. She didn’t hear what he said through his very clenched jaw but whatever it was happened to be enough to make their group stand down and stomp off toward the infirmary.
Hermione did however catch the briefest flick of Draco’s fingers as he marched behind his friends and the invisible surge of magic that left the Ravenclaws gasping for air after one of them had exclaimed that Draco was ‘Voldemort’s pet dog that should’ve been put down with the rest of the lot’. She glared at boys now on their knees pawing at their necks as if to fight off the unseen strangler. They shared the complete opposite sentiments of Daphne but they were just as vile. The spell wore off and the boys began coughing and sputtering.
“Shit, Hermione,” one wheezed, “why are you slumming,” more coughing, “slumming it with the likes of them?”
She carefully knelt so she could be as close to eye level with them as possible.
“At least I’m slumming it with people who seem to have enough tact to know when to walk away. You, on the other hand, are disgustingly childish.”
“They started it!”
“You drew your wand first.” She reminded.
“She threatened to castrate me!”
“I’m sure it won’t be the last time you hear a woman say that you.” She returned to her full height. “It’s a shame really, that ‘Voldemort’s dog’ deemed you relevant enough to keep Pansy from going through with it, might’ve made the world a better place having one less narrow-minded man who can’t keep his mouth shut walking around.” She took a step back, drawing all their attention toward her. “Saved from emasculation by a Death Eater… how comically ironic and terribly embarrassing.” She finished with a sarcastic laugh and a pitying look.
Quite pleased with herself and her defense of her friends she turned on her heel with the intent to catch up to them but ran smack dab into a strong chest instead. Hermione looked up and found Draco’s cold lifeless eyes looking through her instead of at her, with the same expressionless face that made him terrifying towards the end of Voldemort’s reign. A chill pulsed within her siphoning away her bravado as if it were a Dementor, she had the sudden urge to reach out and place her hand on his chest to push him away, but before she went to push, she noticed how his eyes melted at her touch.
They stood there staring at each other with her hands on his chest for no more than five seconds but Merlin it felt like a lifetime. Draco grit his teeth and sharply stepped away from her, throwing his head to the side silently motioning for her to start heading towards the castle. She obeyed.
She could feel the tension growing between them with each step on the walk back to the castle. For someone who loved quiet as much as her, it was alarming how unbearable it could be when you weren’t in control of it.
“How much did you hear?” Hermione licked her lips uneasily. More silence surrounded her as they passed through the entrance and turned down a hall forcing her to dig her nails into her palm.
He continued to stare straight ahead when finally he answered plainly. “All of it.”
Hermione shivered. The warm playful energy that had been growing between them in recent weeks was now replaced with frosty indifference. Desperately trying to cut the uncomfortableness stretching between them, her next words tumbled out of her like a nervous hiccup.
“How did you learn such strong wordless magic?”
Draco stopped at her question causing her to stumble in her attempt to do the same. He gave her a look that was a cross between scathing and panicked that had her smacking her face internally at how stupid her inquiry was, of course she knew how and where he had learned it. She opened her mouth but no words made it out as he beat her to it.
“You should go see Ginny.” Was all he said before he began moving away from her in the opposite direction of the infirmary.
“Wait, where are you going?”
“To do Death Eater things.” He clipped over his shoulder.
Her stomach churned. In her defense of him she had managed to hurt him. She had to explain, he had to know she didn’t think of them, of him, like that anymore.
“I didn’t mean it like that.” She called out but he continued walking away from her.
“Malfoy!”
Nothing.
“Draco!” She tried a little more frantically, he stopped but kept his back to her. “I didn’t mean it, I was just trying to make a point, trying to make them see that you’re better than them… all of you are.”
Draco’s shoulders dropped from their tense hold in his trained pure-blooded perfect posture, but he remained facing away from her. “I know, Granger.” His voice echoed softly in the empty hall.
Hermione took a step toward him; the soft click of her shoe alerted him to her movement and seemed to reset whatever wall she had broken down.
“Go visit Ginny. I need to go make sure the others remain out of Azkaban.”
And then he was striding away from her again.
Ginny was indeed fine and ready to leave by the time Hermione got up to her. Just a few broken fingers from the blow and a separated shoulder from the fall, all which had been mended and set by Madam Pomfrey in the time it had taken Hermione to get there.
The Slytherins did not come to dinner leaving their normally full-of-life table rather quiet and unsettling. Susan, Neville, and Luna had even seemed somewhat anxious about their absence following Hermione’s brief retelling of the after-match incident. She of course left out the wordless magic used and both her conversation with the boys and the one that followed with Draco. Gin had been pleased to hear about the altercation between Pansy and the Ravenclaw boys, using some very colorful vocabulary and promising to add to the threat the next time she saw the Ravenclaw beater. Hermione shook her head in laughter before returning to pushing the food around on her plate solemnly when Ginny was distracted by people coming up and checking on her well-being.
“I think I’m going to head back, I’m not feeling very hungry tonight.” Susan said as she stood from the table.
Hermione nodded and followed suit as did their entire group. She could feel the eyes of everyone on them as they exited the dining hall making her skin prickle. She hated the stares.
“Did anyone happen to see if McGonagall was present for dinner?” Neville questioned.
Luna hummed. “Mmm I believe she was called on business shortly after the Qudditch game, or at least that’s what Helena said when I saw her floating near the courtyard earlier.”
By the time they reached the mirror, Hermione had had enough of silent walks for the day. Hell, the month. She let out a breath of relief when they found their friends littered about in their normal spots in the common room. All except for Draco, whose chair was empty. She bit down on the inside of her cheek to mask her disappointment.
“Ah, here they are! Our wounded firebird and sassy golden witch.” Theo sang, eyes locked on Susan as she passed by him.
“Sassy golden witch?” Ginny asked with a raised brow at her.
Blaise shifted over so Ginny could sit between him and Theo while Pansy moved from their bench to the floor at Ginny’s feet.
“Apparently, Granger here verbally abused our Ravenclaw friend after we all left.” Pansy twirled the pencil in her hand. “What was it again? Ah yes, ‘a shame that Draco didn’t let me go through with it’ and how ‘ironic and embarrassing’ it was to be saved by a Death Eater.”
“Bravo, Hermione!” Ginny clapped.
“We were starting to wonder if the lot of you got sent to Az.” Neville chimed in, floating glasses of whiskey to everyone.
She sipped at hers and tried to keep her eyes from looking at the empty chair. She failed and then hid behind her glass when she noticed Blaise had caught her.
He threw back the crystal and swallowed. “Draco thought it best if we let things settle a bit.”
"Do you always listen to him?" Susan asked innocently.
A resounding and serious 'yes' from all three of them was enough to end that particular conversation. Hermione moved to place her empty glass at the bar when she couldn’t sit still anymore. She felt someone at her back and fought against all of her instincts to draw her wand, she was in a safe space with safe people, but her fight or flight still worked well.
Blaise’s rich colored hand appeared next to hers as he placed his glass down. “Not many people alive know about his… ability. I’m sure you could understand why it would be important to keep that to yourself.”
"I didn't mention it to anyone."
"I noticed, keep it that way."
"Is that a threat?"
"Does it need to be?"
She spun around and leaned back into the counter and faced the room that contained their friends. She looked at them and he stepped in the space next to her and observed the side of her face intently.
“Who knows?”
He finally looked away from her following her gaze to the people laughing on and around the couch.
“Just me and his parents I believe. Pansy and Theo know he’s strong but not the full extent.”
She nodded. The immense feeling of Déjà vu swallowed her.
“They’ll come for him, Hermione. You saw first-hand what everyone thinks of us today. We’re already on thin ice, they’ll weaponize their fear and use his history to condemn him.”
“Where is he?”
He sighed and turned to face her again. She met his eyes and saw the war going on behind the pupils on whether to trust her with the real answer or continue guarding his friend.
“Thawing.”
Hermione’s brow creased in a frown. “I’m sorry, what?”
“He goes cold. It’s how he protects himself and those around him.” Blaise’s words connected so many dots in her mind. His icy demeanor and eyes, why he always looked so ill and lifeless, those days at the beginning of the year when he literally was a shell of himself. “So, he’s thawing. It doesn’t always work and sometimes takes a few days, but the last bath seemed to really help.”
Bath. He thaws in the bath. She had watched him thaw in the bath. Oh Merlin.
“Hermione you okay? You’ve gotten quite red.”
“Oh, yes. Think the whiskey just hit is all.”