The First Chair
Leonard knocked on his Department Chair’s door.
“Dr. Hofstadter.”
“Dr. Gablehauser. There’s a situation I need to speak with you about.”
Gablehauser’s professionalism required him to stifle the sigh that wanted to escape. He waved Leonard in and was surprised when the researcher closed the door. People didn’t close his door. Not even during the most juvenile complaints.
“What can I do for you, Dr. Hofstadter?”
“There’s a complex situation I’m hoping you can help with.” Leonard’s eyes were darting around, which did not inspire confidence. “Last night some of us were at the library. There was a girl there–”
At the word “was”, Gablehauser felt the hair on his neck stand up. Please, please say these socially idiotic researchers didn’t accidentally harm someone.
“--and, well…she’s Sheldon’s soulmate.” Leonard shrugged his shoulders.
A few seconds passed. Finally, Gablehauser said, “I will offer my congratulations to Dr. Cooper when I see him.”
“No. I mean, yes. I mean…it’s complicated and we need your help.”
Gablehauser had a dreadful suspicion he was about to be dragged into soulmate drama. Sheldon Cooper was fussy and a gigantic pain in the ass on good days. Gablehauser shuddered to think what a lovesick, forlorn Cooper would act like. And what that would mean for Gablehauser’s sanity.
Leonard continued after a pause. “You see, she’s a genius.”
Gablehauser perked up. “Wonderful! As you know, especially within the academic community, we are quite flexible in enabling soulmates to work at the same university. I’m sure a spot could be made for her. Is she a physicist as well?”
“No. Mathematics. But it’s complicated.” Leonard paused.
Of course it is, thought Gablehauser.
“She’s fifteen,” said Leonard.
“Ah. It should come as no surprise to you, Dr. Hofstadter, that CalTech has been home to many remarkable young people. Does she already have a degree, or–”
Leonard made a gesture that caused Gablehauser to trail off.
Fidgeting, Leonard said, “It’s…ummm…she’s sort of been living in the CalTech library.”
That made Gablehauser pause. “And she’s…not…a student or employee here?”
“No.”
“There is a homeless fifteen-year-old minor living in our library?” This was not going to be an easy day for Gablehauser.
“We took her home last night, and made sure she had food and a safe place to stay,” Leonard said in a rush. “It gets more complicated.”
Of course it does. Gablehauser should really get karmic points for not saying things like that.
“I don’t know all the details, but…” Leonard shifted. “she’s English, and her guardians…abandoned her. Without a passport.”
Gablehauser breathed out slowly. He hated when people hurt children. So many of the scientists and engineers he dealt with everyday suffered from bad childhoods, and he had to deal with the results.
“Is she healthy? Does she need immediate medical care?” said Gablehauser, crisply.
“She seems fine,” said Leonard, shrugging one shoulder. “Thin, but fine. There’s more.”
Gablehauser took a slow breath and nodded.
Leonard started babbling. “I know I said she’s a genius, but… Look, I know everything will have to be peer reviewed, and I’m hesitant to say anything, but… I only looked over the first few pages, which were fascinating, but Sheldon read most of the first notebook and…well…Sheldon says she’s more than a once-in-a-decade or once-in-a-generation mind. She’s like Newton. She’s created a new branch of mathematics.”
Gablehauser blinked and then took this in stride. “Very well. I’ll arrange for a select number of the mathematics department to review her work. I have no doubt we’ll be able to create a position for her. Even if it turns out to not be as groundbreaking as it looks at first glance, I’m sure we can find a place for her. Our legal department can handle the unusual nature of her presence here. After all, people lose passports all of the time. I think it’s time I meet with her.”
Leonard looked uncomfortable. “She’s worried someone will make her go back to her guardians. I think she’s terrified.”
Gablehauser frowned. “There are international protections that allow soulmates to be together. Their soulmate status is enough to guarantee her the right to stay in the country. And I will not allow a child to be returned to an abusive or neglectful situation.”
Finally, Leonard looked relieved. “Sheldon tried to convince her she could stay, but she was still very worried that some legal loophole would force her back to England. I’ll tell her what you said. When should I bring her in?”
Cooper may be a pain in the ass, but he was brilliant. Gablehauser couldn’t risk him doing something rash and transferring to a new university and taking a potential Newton with him. This needed to be handled quickly. “My door is open to her and Dr. Cooper. I’ll speak with the head of the mathematics department today and try to clear the schedule of a few full professors to review her material so they can make a recommendation about placement. Let’s aim for tomorrow morning at 9 a.m., but I’ll let Dr. Cooper and you know as soon as possible if the plans need to change.”
Leonard’s hand was on the door when Gablehauser’s voice stopped him.
“Dr. Hofstadter. What is her name?”
Shrugging once again, Leonard said, “Hari. She won’t tell us her last name yet.”
When he was alone, Gablehauser took a few deep breaths. This was one of the reasons why he became the Department Chair. It was a thrill to handle this problem – no, this opportunity – and improve the university. What a pleasure it was to focus on welcoming a brilliant mind rather than dealing with petty, juvenile squabbles of some of his researchers.
Gablehauser picked up the phone to call his counterpart in the mathematics department.