James and Sirius were each other's first kiss.
It was at the summer after third year, on a weekend at the Potter's. James was talking about how this year Lily was going to fall in love with him and Sirius asked him "What are you going to do when she finally gives you a chance? Are you gonna kiss her?" and James went "Obviously!"
So naturally Sirius looked at him like he was crazy. "Mate, do you even know how to kiss?"
"Er no? But it can't be that hard I suppose. Do YOU know how to kiss?"
"C’mon James, when I have my first kiss you're going to be the first to know" James smiled at that and giggled.
"I know, i'm your bestest friend" Sirius smiled agreeing and suddenly James' smile widened.
Sirius looked at him confused "Why's that smile for?" They barely got to say the last word before James screamed.
"WE SHOULD KISS" Sirius froze looking at James like he suggested that they should invite Sirius' mother to dinner at the Potter's.
“Listen, i know it sounds weird but think about it, if we practice with each other then when we finally kiss another person we’re going to be experts!” Sirius fell to the floor laughing at their best friend, with James looking at them slightly offended.
When Sirius (finally) stopped laughing, they looked at the annoyed James and smiled just saying “Okay”
“What?”
“I said okay James, let’s do it”
“Now?”
“It was YOU who suggested it”
“But I'm not prepared” James smiled nervously.
“Merlin, James, it’s me, what are you gonna do? Wear a suit? Bring me flowers? Wait, I like flowers, I'm not opposed to that”
James laughed. “Shut up Sirius”
Sirius smiled and stood up from the floor, facing James. “Make me”
“MERLIN DON’T SAY THAT, It makes it weird” Sirius bursted laughing again at James' panicked face.
"You're so stupid, c'mon, let's do this for Evans"
"For Evan- what?"
"Yeah, so when you finally kiss her, you don't suck and make her hate you forever for being a bad kisser"
"SIRIUS, DON'T SAY THAT" Sirius laughed again.
"SHUT UP AND KISS ME, I'm hungry and your mom's making empanadas, I wanna go help her"
"Why do I have to kiss YOU?"
Sirius lifted an eyebrow "Because it was your idea"
"That's not fair"
"For Merlin's sake James."
And Sirius went closer to their best friend, grabbed his face and kissed him. Or something like that.
James' mouth fell open in shock but slowly he began to kiss them back. It was Not a good kiss, James was doing what he saw people do in the telenovelas his mom watches and Sirius didn't know what they were doing.
Eventually, they parted and started to laugh. James could feel his heart going a thousand kilometers per hour.
"I think that's not how you do it" James managed to say between giggles and Sirius started laughing hysterically again. "We just need more practice I think"
Sirius laughed. "James, I didn't even know what I was doing, I was just moving my mouth"
"Yeah, you were pretty bad at it." James made an exaggerated grimace.
"Shut up, like you were any better, I think my cheek is wet. MY CHEEK JAMES, I don't think that's supposed to happen."
James laughed again at Sirius' horrified face. "C'mon let's go help mom with the food. I'm tired of all the kissing."
That happened again, and again, and again. Obviously.
And James' heart got used to the feeling of kissing Sirius, the extremely fast racing and the nervousness that comes with it. The way it felt completely natural. James thought, more than once, that maybe he was made for kissing Sirius Black.
–
One day, in summer before sixth year, Sirius told James that they liked (although he was pretty sure it was loved at this point) Remus.
“Oh Pads, I'm gonna miss kissing” you, though he didn’t say that.
“Find someone else to kiss, I'm sure you have a long list of people who want to woo you” James laughed at that.
“What if, I don't know, I suck at it?”
“Prongs, you don’t suck at kissing, I practically taught you how to do it.” James blushed.
“Shut up Padfoot, or do you want me to tell Moony where you learned everything you know?”
Sirius throwed their head back laughing and god, they looked so pretty that night “We should tell Moony, merlin, he'll find it hilarious”
"Yeah, he probably would" James smiled sadly at Sirius.
"What?" Sirius frowned.
"Nothing." James looked at the sky.
"You have something on your mind."
James sighed "It's just, Moony and you are perfect for eachother."
"Well, I mean, I hope so."
"Shut up, you are."
"So?"
"Nothing, I'm just happy for you." James looked at the ground.
"Tell that to your face. C'mon Prongs, it's me, tell me."
'Yeah, it's you.' James thought. 'You, with your perfect smile and hair and your beautiful eyes. The way that you kiss and how you feel in my arms. Your soft lips and the way that you close your eyes leaning closer, your beautiful eyelashes that I love to count while I look at you.'
He couldn’t say all that, his tongue was tied over those three words that James knew would ruin everything.
So he sighed, and lied. “Do you think Lily and I are perfect for each other?”
“Oh.” Sirius smiled kindly at him and James closed his eyes, not daring to look at that beautiful, intoxicating, grey anymore. “I don’t think there’s a way to really know it, James. But even if it’s not her, it will be someone else. You are perfect, kind and incredibly beautiful, and anyone who can’t see that is straight up blind.”
James laughed and looked at his best friend smiling. He loves them so much. “Thanks Pads.”
“It’s nothing, you know I'm always for you Prongs.” Sirius smiled back.
Later, when everyone was sleeping, James went out to the garden. It was past four when Euphemia found him there, crying while looking at the sky.
The sky was clear that night and the stars and constellations could be seen perfectly.
"James? What happened, love?" Instead of an answer James sighed and pointed to the sky, at a constellion; at a star.
"I'm in love with them, mamá." James' voice broke.
"Ay mi niño." Euphemia knelt down beside him and hughed him tighly. "I'ts okay."
"It's not." James sobbed. "He likes Remus."
Euphemia planted a kiss on her son's head "Well, it's going to be okay. Believe me, It'll pass."
"What if it doesn't?"
"Then you'll learn to live with it. Love, James, it's not an awful thing." James laughed dryly. "I'm sure you don't see it that way baby, and it's okay that you feel that way, it's valid, pero" James looked at his mom and Effie held his face between his hands looking at him in the eyes. "You loving them is something beautiful, and nothing can change that. Even if you're not together, even if they don't love you back, that way."
James closed his eyes. "It's just, I didn't even realize it until tonight, when they told me they liked Remus."
"It's okay, I don't think you ever needed to think about it 'till now" Euphemia smiled softly at him. "James, I've known about it for a while."
James sobbed again. "Really?"
"Oh baby, I know you, like no one else in this world. You would do anything for them."
"Yes" James' voice broke again. "Yes, I would"
"It's okay." Effie hugged him again, even more tightly. "It's okay mi niño."
"They're in my bed now, they like to have sleepovers because it reminds them of when they and Regulus, their brother, were young, and they miss him. And they like to cuddle, and I love to hug them, but tonight I just." James sobbed loudly.
"I know mi niño, it's okay. You don't have to if you don't want to." James hugged her more and cried on her chest.
"That's the problem mamá, I want to, I desperately want to."
Euphemia sighed. "It'll be okay James, trust me."
It was past six, when his mom was already sleeping again, and the sun had started to rise, that Sirius went out looking for him.
Looking sleepy in an oversized band t-shirt and James' old pajama pants, they sat beside him rubbing their eyes with the back of their hand. They looked extremely soft and pretty.
"Couldn't sleep?" Sirius looked at him with their eyes barely open.
"Mhm" James nodded slightly, still looking at the sky.
He felt Sirius' head in his shoulder and their long hair tickling his neck. He sighed. "Padfoot?"
Sirius made a noise to let him know that they were listening. "Can I kiss you? One last time."
They lifted their head looking at him confused, it must've been something Sirius saw in James' eyes that made them smile softly and nod.
James grabbed their face with both of his hands, Sirius closed their eyes and James allowed himself to watch them for a minute before kissing them. Sirius was precious, the most beautiful person James has ever lay his eyes on.
The kiss was soft, so soft and tender that, in between, James started to cry. Sirius lifted their hands and brushed his tears with their thumbs.
When they parted, James was still holding Sirius's face and pressed their foreheads together. When he spoke, it was barely a whisper. “Thank you.”
Sirius smiled and brushed their noses in an eskimo kiss. "Anytime."
James knew that wasn’t true, he was sure Remus loved Sirius back, that they belonged together. He knew this was the last kiss they were gonna share.
He sighed and looked at the sky again, Sirius returned to their original position with their head on James' shoulder.
He supposes it's okay, James loves Sirius, in every kind of way that exists, and he knows that just having them in his life is a gift and is enough.
He felt Sirius snoring and looked at them from the corner of his eye, they were sleeping peacefully on his shoulder and James' heart felt content just looking at them. Maybe his mom was right.
Maybe love isn’t an awful thing to feel.