Connecting
Every time he stepped out onto the stage James felt alive. The screaming of the crowd fueled James to give the performance of a lifetime. It wasn’t about the money for him, like it is for so many, but instead the thrill of writing his own music and spending every waking hour with his friends. When they left secondary school James was at an impasse, he had always wanted to be a doctor and to help people but his desire to continue science as A-level was heavily lacking. So when Sirius begged and begged for them all to go to college for music, well he couldn’t resist. And now, 4 years later their risk was paying off- James was stood in a small arena in London as Sirius spoke to the crowd. So maybe James wasn’t saving peoples lives at the operating table, but this? James liked to think he was saving someone by showing them they aren’t alone, not when James gets on stage every night to remind them.
The UK leg of the tour was set to last 5 weeks, when agreeing to tour James was adamant they should spend as long as they could in their home country rather than visiting only 3 cities, they were starting and ending in London, heading to Brighton, all the way up to Aberdeen and so much more. To say James was excited was an understatement.
As Sirius introduced the next song James grabbed his bottle of water, looking into the crowd as he read the signs people had brought. Some asked for a hug, others coming out (secretly these were James’ favourites) and the last one he saw was begging for Remus’ number. Shaking his head as he laughed, James placed the bottle down and began stumming the opening chords to the next song. It was moments like this that James liked to close his eyes for, as the song built up and Peter and Remus also joining in, he couldn’t help but bob his head to the beat, the moving of his hands as he played not being enough.
James thinks that he’s adapted to the famous life quite well if he’s honest, he hasn’t had any scandals and is always up for meeting his fans. Like right now, James has just finished up the last song and with a nod to Sirius they jump the barrier on the count of 3 and greet some of the fans at the front. Did it give security as heart attack whenever they did it? Yes. But their fans are nice enough, and they’ve done it enough times for security to know to double up by the barriers. If it wasn’t for the interactions with the fans James wouldn’t know if the life would be worth it, yes he loved music but it’s moments like this that really remind James of how great his job is. Currently James was absolutely gushing over a jacket a fan had made, “And it was you guys that pushed me really, I mean after hearing your first album I realised that maybe law wasn’t for me, you know? I think I spent so long convincing myself that I forgot that sometimes art is a career. I made jackets for all of you, I mean I gave them to the security on the door so you’ll probably never see them, and you’ll probably forget as soon as the concerts done, but I made them, if you wanted them.” It makes James upset sometimes, not the fans, but the negative celebrity experiences they’ve had that make them feel unvalued, James makes a metal note to wear the denim jacket in their next location and to follow her page, really it’s the least he could do.
That’s how James found himself being shouted at by management, following accounts that hadn’t been approved, even fans, wasn’t simple. By now James knew these things had to be cleared but he wanted freedom so who could blame him for the small acts of rebellion? If it made the fans happy James would gladly take a beating from Minnie.
Regulus loved the ice, for years after his brother left it was the only place he found comfort. The fame? He didn’t love it as much. But it was his popularity that allowed for him to do what he loved, without the fame he had amassed Regulus doubts he’d be able to spend all day on the ice- yes he was rich but his parents wouldn’t allow his hobby to be anything more without huge profit.
Today he wasn’t doing anything spectacular, just skating in circles with his teammate, Pandora. Like himself, Pandora found comfort from skating, even just gliding on the ice and feeling the chill on her cheeks was enough to get the adrenaline going. “So… how’s it going with Barty?”, she asks quietly, as if the question would be any kinder if she lowered her voice. Regulus lets out a soft laugh, turning to face her as they skate. He shakes his head and motions up to the air, as if that provides all the answers. For maybe a minute of two they continue to skate in silence, “He’s.. happy? Well not happy but he isn’t hurting. It was for the best. We’re coping.” And really it was, for all they had been, Regulus and Barty were better as friends, better as being each other’s arm and leg than each other’s heart. Maybe it hurt at the beginning to accept that they had that part of each other but Regulus knew that it wasn’t for the best, to grow they both needed to be free. Not that freedom was something they could ever experience but Regulus liked to think that his parents could never get between his and Barty’s friendship, and that felt like enough freedom. Pandora raises her eye and that’s all Regulus needs to spill.
“Okay no, maybe we aren’t coping. We haven’t spoken, I think we’re both scared it won’t be the same. But Evan said that he was okay, he isn’t broken hearted he’s just adjusting. Aren’t we all though?”
It felt nice, opening up. Regulus doesn’t do it often, preferring to just shut off until his problems are too far buried that they can be completely ignored, but he knows Pandora would just continue asking and really he’d rather the conversation just be over with. And anyway, they have more important matters to discuss: Pandora needs to find a new partner for next month, it won’t be for long but Regulus has some business in France that he needs to deal with, nothing that should take longer than a couple weeks but missing weeks of practice feels like a death sentence at this point in his career. He’s booked his hotels based on how close they are to the closest rink so he should be fine, but he couldn’t live with the guilt of disappearing suddenly and leaving his partner partner-less. “What about Lily?” he suggest, she’s not great on the ice in all honesty but he knows the suggestion will leave Pandora a similar colour to the other girls hair. “Shut up. I’ll find my own partner thank you very much. In fact, maybe I’ll replace you whilst you’re gone? I’m sure Sirius will let you join the band if you end up without a replacement.”
“No. Absolutely not. You know that I’m ignoring his messages about that new album. In fact, his name is banned. You can’t mention him. End of. I’m a skater I’m not made for sweaty crowds and stupid levels of fame.” Deciding that was the end of the conversation, Regulus speeds up, looking behind to see if Pandora was following, “Race you! 5 laps!” He laughs, attempting to get as much distance from the girl as he could.
“I’m telling you mate, just call him. How many times has he ignored your calls?” James argues for maybe the tenth time today. Really he isn’t sure why he’s so committed to helping Sirius with this, he knows that Sirius wants his brother for backing vocals in one of the bands new songs, a bonding exercise or something, but really James is happy with how the band dynamic is. It isn’t that James doesn’t like Regulus, really it isn’t- but he’s protective of those he loves and he doesn’t want Regulus suddenly leaving or changing his mind to hurt his friend.
“Prongs mate, I love your never-ending optimism, but he clearly doesn’t want to speak. You know how he gets, he’ll respond in a months’ time when he remembers that staying in touch with people is important. It isn’t personal, well it might be- you never know with regulus- but the point is I’m not going to pester him if he doesn’t want to be pestered.”
“You pester us when we don’t want to be pestered.”
“Yes but I rather enjoy having some form of contact with my brother, I’d rather like to continue calling him for our catch ups than have to check up on him through googling his name. Besides I’m seeing him next month whilst we’re performing in Paris, I’ll ask then if I have to.”
James gives in, he knows when Sirius would rather drop a conversation more than anyone, and if the way Sirius is grabbing James’ hand to apply red nail varnish to it is any indication, Sirius would rather focus on anything other than the topic of figure skating younger brothers. He watches as Sirius carefully adds the red to each nail, personally James isn’t big on wearing nail varnish- it ends up ruined in a matter of hours when he starts picking or biting at it without even realising- but Sirius likes painting them so he lets him. Today he’s having gold painted carefully onto the tips, the glossy red and sparkly ends no doubt going to be picked up on stage tomorrow- the thought of it makes him smile, the little touch of Sirius displaying to the world that The Marauders are friends above all, something that most bands lose to fame, but not them, never them. He thinks that maybe their friendship is special, none of them were desperate for the fame- more the opportunity to experience life, and none of them were forced into the band, they view it as an agreement, it remains as long as they want it to. James would never let resentment build up because his friends felt trapped, he’d rather lose it all for his friends than have it all and lose who they used to be. If there’s one thing that’s certain: fame will not change James Potter. James will appreciate the fans and splash out on a nice hotel during tour but he will not let it turn him selfish, entitled, James Potter will not let fame ruin him.
Fame ruined Regulus Black. Ruined his ability to make mistakes, not that he had that freedom in the first place. But once he stepped into the public eye, even with as niche as his role in it was, the pressure placed upon him by his parents was crippling. It wasn’t even his own fame that was necessarily his downfall, the moment his brother’s band made it big the world decided to turn their attention to the famous younger brother, everyone placing bets on whether he’ll live up to the elders reputation of being a heartthrob.
Though he can’t be too picky he supposes, it was his life in the spotlight that reconnected the two. If it wasn’t for Regulus winning a national competition 2 years ago he doubts they’d be talking, the two word message of “Well done :)” was enough of a reason for Regulus to give their relationship another go and it had been rocky ever since. Regulus thinks he prefers rocky to nonexistent through (maybe this is totally dependent upon how many spammed messages he wakes up to though). The past week Sirius has been messaging him nonstop asking if he’s made up his mind, and he has, but he can’t tell Sirius. He knows that Sirius will either be disappointed or find a way to convince him into saying yes, and Regulus doesn’t want either of those situations if he’s being honest. But really, Regulus knows he can’t ignore Sirius for long, after all it was him that said the relationship would only work if they made the effort.
And so he opens up his phone, replies to Evan’s hourly check in, and hits call.