Incorrect quotes
Ominis in the common room, just informed that Sebastian went against his promise to stay away from the dark arts and Rowan has been helping out a bit: "ROWAN EVERGREEN! SEBASTIAN SALLOW"
Rowan outside the common room: "Well, well, well... if it isn’t my old friend: the dawning realization that I'm fucked."
Rowan who's just finished the third trial and hasn't slept in two days: "With great power comes great need to take a nap. Wake me up later."
Ominis: "?????"
Ominis: "This is such a bad idea."
Sebastian: "Then why are you coming along?"
Ominis: "One of us need to be able to talk the aurors out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong."
Rowan severely injured while in the hospital wing: "Where are you guys going?"
Sebastian and poppy leaving: "To get you a couple chocolate frogs or commit a felony, we'll decide on the way there"
Rowan: "Don’t worry, I know exactly what I’m doing. Everything is going to be fine!"
Armit: "How can you still say that?"
Rowan: "Because sometimes, when things get tough, denial is all we have."
Ominis: "I’m sad."
Sebastian: "Don’t be sad, because sad backwards is das."
Sebastian: "And das not good."
Rowan, : "Sorry I'm late, I was doing stuff."
Garreth: "YOU PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS!"
Rowan, holding an antique bottle he found: "Is this Pumpkin juice or perfume?"
Sebastian: *grabs and chugs the entire bottle*
Sebastian:
Sebastian: "It's perfume."
Sebastian: "I'm going the fight the next person who insults Rowan."
Rowan: "I hate myself."
Sebastian: "Alright, square up."
Poppy: "I dare you-"
Ominis: "Rowans is not allowed to accept dares anymore."
Poppy: "Why not?"
Rowan: "I have no regard for my own or others personal safety", as some would say."
Ominis: "Do you feel any better?"
Rowan: "I feel much better now that you here with me."
*Garreth walks in*
Rowan: "I feel half better."
Sebastian: "When I was a first year, Ominis told me that the paper strip that’s in the chocolate kisses were edible and I ate them with the chocolate for the year."
Rowan: "They are!"
Sebastian: "FOR REAL?"
Rowan: "No! Why did you fall for it again?"
A random first year: "How do you do that?"
Sebastian: "I'm fearless."
Rowan: "I saw you run from a niffler yesterday. You flailed around and tripped over a chair. It was both hysterical and sad."
Sebastian: "It wanted to steal my gallions!"
Rowan:
Ominis: "I have a bad feeling about this..."
Sebastian: "What do you mean?"
Ominis: "Don't you ever get that little voice in your head that tells you if you're going to get into trouble?"
Sebastian: "No?"
Rowan: "That actually explains so much."
Rowan: "Protip is you do not feel good about yourself after eating tomato sauce on iceberg lettuce."
Ominis: "What's wrong with you??"
Rowan: "I literally JUST said I ate tomato sauce on iceberg lettuce?? Pay attention."
Sebastian: "No, they mean other than that."
Rowan: "Ohhhhhh."
Rowan: "I haven't slept in 4 days."
Ominis: "Never gonna make you cry!"
Sebastian: "Never gonna say goodbye!"
Rowan: "Never gonna tell a lie—"
Imelda: "I will hurt you."
*Ominis dies in a game with ships*
Rowan: "This ship is no longer a ship of love, it's a ship of vengeance, a gavel of justice against all that is wrong in the world, showing no mercy, as no mercy was shown to us."
Rowan: "The spark of love will now fuel the fires of destructive glory as I wage my war across the world with righteous fury."
Sebastian: "Legend has it that Ominis still haunts the ship, stealing my fucking sweets."
Ominis grinning: "Of course I do."
Rowan: "What’s it like being tall?"
Rowan: "Is it nice?"
Rowan: "Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards?"
Ominis: "We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb 4 chairs, 2 boxes, a small coffee table and 6 oddly placed stools to get what they want. I know because it fell on me and so did the short one"
Sebastian: "It was one time!"
Sebastian:"Rowan’s amazing at concentrating. Once he starts reading, the only way he’ll notice you is if you take his book away. Not even if you hit them or shake him!"
Ominis:"That was him ignoring you."
Sebastian: "Ominis said its my turn with the brain cell."
Rowan: "Square up."
Imelda: "So, are you three dating now?"
Sebastian, Rowan and Ominis: "Yes."
Imelda: "Why?"
Sebastian: "I happen to find Rowan and Ominis very appealing."
Imelda: "Yeah, I can understand that. I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with Ominis and Rowan."
Sebastian to Rowan whos in the middle of a mental breakdown: "Go ahead, Rowan. Let it out, cry. If you don't, your tear ducts will get blocked up, and then when you get old, you won't be able to cry."
Rowan whos still crying but now half laughing half full blown sobbing: "That's fucking stupid!"
Ominis sighing: "Just when I thought it was safe to let you back into the conversation."
Ominis: "Breathe, just breathe."
Rowan having a day: "I’ve done nothing with my life! I’m a failure!"
Rowans older sister who couldn't give less of a shit: "Awww, that never bothered you before."
Ominis: "What did you two do?"
Sebastian:
Rowan:
Ominis: "You’re not in trouble, I just need to know if I have to lie to the police again or not."
Rowan: "My mother sent me a get better soon card."
Poppy: "That's sweet!"
Rowan: "I wasn't sick, she just think I can do better with my school work"
Poppy: "Hey I just got a pet snake. What should I name him?"
Natty: "A pet WHAT?!"
Rowan: "William Snakespeare."
Rowan: "How do you know how to kiss? Like who teaches you?"
Sebastian: "Well it’s actually a class, but unfortunately it’s full right now."
Sebastian: "Would you like me to tutor you?"
Poppy eating breakfast: "That was smooth."
Poppy: "Five little monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and…"
Rowan: "Was diagnosed with mesothelioma."
Poppy: "Mamma called the doctor and the doctor said…"
Natty: "You might be entitled to financial compensation if he or a loved one dies."
Natty: "Just think about this! I’m your hottest friend."
Poppy: "No, that’s Rowan… you're my nicest friend."
Natty offended but 100 understands what she means:
Poppy at an school gathering 3 years after they graduated: "Why is Sebastian crying on the floor?"
Armit: "He's drunk."
Poppy: "And?"
Armit: "They saw a picture of Rowan's spouse."
Poppy: "But he's Rowan's spouse-"
Armit: "I know"
Natty: "Truth or dare?"
Armit: "Dare."
Natty: "I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room."
Armit: "Hey Poppy?"
Poppy, blushing: "Yeah?"
Armit: "Can you move? I'm trying to get to Natty"