Chapter 1
~Sirius~
Sirius heard the train already coming. He looked over his shoulder to see the train coming on the station. He turned back to his little sisters. Tears were already swelling up in the corners of his eyes. But he forced himself to push them away, he needed to stay strong for Reggie.
“Hi Reg, it's alright i'll be back before you know it.” Sirius says in a soft voice. putting his right hand on Reggie’s shoulder.
Tears fell down his little sister’s cheeks. Sirius pulls Regina into a hug. He holds her tight to his chest, he doesn’t want to let go. Not now, not ever.
The thought of letting Regina alone in that house makes him sick. He pulls back and looks at his sister again.
“Next year you’ll join me at Hogwarts and you will see me with Christmas, right. So it won’t be that long till you see me again.” He says hopefully.
“Will you write to me?” Regina says in a small voice, almost a whisper.
“Of course I will. I’ll write you so much it will just be like we’re together.”
Regina nods and hugs him. It feels like they are standing there like that forever, yet it's not nearly long enough.
“That’s enough” A sharp voice cuts in.
He feels Regina’s shoulders tense and pulls back from the hug. He looks up at Walburga who is shooting him a cold glare.
“Sirius, you have to go now.” His mother informed him.
Sirius looks at Reggie again. He has to leave her. Oh Merlin, why do I have to leave her? He tries to tell himself that Reg will be fine, even though he knows that’s not true. He just wants to take her and keep her safe from anyone who would be stupid enough to come close. But he can’t. I’m sorry Reggie.
“I love you.” Regina says with a devastated look on her face that makes Sirius’ stomach ache.
“Love you too Reg. Stay safe okay?” He says back and Regina nod’s.
He walks towards the train. Gives one more glance over his shoulder, waves at Reggie and steps on to the train. I’ll miss you Reg, stay safe. Please.
~Regina~
It was quite without Sirius. Sometimes she would go days without speaking a word, she started talking to herself just so she could break the silence.
She's never felt so alone. Sirius has always been there, now the only thing she got were the letters Sirius wrote her.
Sirius is clearly enjoying himself at Hogwarts, much to their mothers disappointment. Even though she truly is happy for Sirius. She can’t help the aching feeling inside her. Sirius is having a good time and here she is waiting for her brother's letter.
She can’t wait till it’s next year. Then she'll join Sirius and she will get himself out of this prison.
Her mother doesn’t pay attention to her, well except when she is demanding something or punishing her for something Sirius did. In her eyes it’s a way of punishing Sirius or to get her anger out. Regina wasn’t sure, and to be honest she didn’t really care. She just did what she always did; do everything she asked, in order to stay out of her line of fire.
It was way easier when Sirius was still here, he always took up so much space in grimmauld place that Regina would go unnoticed. For someone else that may sound even worse but believe her when she says that it is better to be ignored than have all the eyes on you in ‘the noble and most ancient house of Black’.
Sirius always had all the eyes on him, and Regina was grateful for that. Secretly Regina thought the jokes Sirius made were really funny, she liked it when Sirius was joking around, teasing her and being really excited about stupid ideas or things he read. Though only when they were alone, if there were people around, Regina was quiet and acted like a proper Black. ‘Only speak when you’re spoken to’. This rule mostly applied to Regina since she was just a spare, but it started to apply to Sirius as well, judging by the way their mother glared at Sirius for every unnecessary and ‘inappropriate’ comment he made.
But now her mother paid more attention to her than she ever did before. Trying to make sure she knows how much he should resent her brother for being a gryffindor.
When she found out Sirius was sorted into gryffindor it was bad, really bad. Regina had seen her mother mad before ~she can't remember seeing her feel any other emotion than anger or disappointment~ but never like this.
Since then she has gone out of her way to let Regina know she should be a slytherin at any cost. And all the other rules she must follow to be a proud member of the family.
Sirius ~the one who actually raised Regina~ always told her how stupid those rules were. And that she shouldn’t listen to everything they said. Regina never corrected him, never said it wasn’t true, because in a way she supposed it was true. She always just shrugged and moved on to a different subject. And later on just did exactly what she did before, listen to the rules and most importantly listen to Walburga Black.
Of course Sirius did the opposite. Always found a way to get their mothers scream echoing through the house. Regina, on multiple occasions, had to hear or see her brother get punished. She herself had plenty of punishments, but not as often and certainty not as long, Sirius would step in or do something incredibly brave and incredibly stupid get their mothers attention away from Regina.
Regina sees this as another reason to listen to their mother. She couldn’t stop Sirius from taking the hits, and Sirius would never let Regina take the hits for him, even if he did Regina wasn’t as brave as Sirius, she wasn’t brave at all, she didn’t think she would have the guts to do it.
*
Sirius would come home today. Regina had missed her brother dearly, his voice, his laughter and hugs. In the 12 Grimmauld place the touches were harsh, and the voices were cold. There was no affection, no love, no comfort. No one showed any kind of affection, no one except Sirius.
Regina's eagerness to see her brother grew over the hours. She was trying with all her might to sit still. She was sitting in the living room, in front of her sat her mother, they didn’t talk, they didn’t look at each other. They just sat in a silence that was deafening, waiting for her father and brother to come home. Home, could you even call it that? Regina wasn’t sure.
They heard the door open with a click. Regina wanted to jump to her feet and run to Sirius. But you can’t, mother is present. She reminded herself. Instead she waited until her mother stood up. And slowly, Oh, why does it have to go so slowly! He got to her feed too. She looked at the ground while she was walking to stand next to her mother, she stopped a little earlier so she wouldn’t see her face. All her actions were calculated, always had been. She braced herself, to find as much self control as she could possibly muster, to not jump up and down the moment she saw Sirius like a happy puppy eager for attention.
She looked up and immediately locked eyes with her brother. She felt a giant smile grow on his lips and didn’t even try to fight it, she knew it would be pointless anyway. There was no way she could possibly hide how happy she was to see her brother again.
When Sirius saw his sister's face light up at the sight of her and he smiled warmly.
In the corner of Regina's eye she saw her father’s expression change and turned to look at him. Orion was frowning deeply, looking incredibly disappointed at his youngest child.
Walburga must have noticed the change in her husband’s expression as well, because she turned to look at Regina. Only to find herself turning annoyed when she saw her daughter look brighter than she had in months. ~Of course she noticed, she just didn’t care. As long as she did what was expected of her, she didn’t see any reason to interact with the girl.~
When Regina saw the glare her mother was shooting her, she visibly shrunk in place and looked down on the ground. She forced herself to ignore all her thoughts, to create an empty place in her head. No thoughts, no emotions and especially no unnecessary sentiment.
“Regina, go upstairs.” Her mother said after a few moments of unbearable silence.
Her tone was harsh and cold like always. Regina looked up at her, and immediately saw her glaring down at her. A glare that could make the spine of the bravest person shiver.
Regina then looked at her brother out of the corner of her eye, who was shifting uncomfortably at the place where he was standing.
“Now.” Her tone was louder this time, it made clear that there was not to be argued with her.
Regina gave a side glance to her brother. Sirius seemed to notice, he gave her a sad smile and a quick nod that said he should go upstairs. Regina listened, she turned to walk to the stairs headed up to her room.
~Sirius~
Sirius past view weeks looked with dread and longing to the coming holiday. He hated this house and everything it stood for, but there was one thing, one person who he loved more than anything in this world, his little sister. He had missed Regina dearly and just wanted to hold her, hug her and make her laugh.
Sirius enjoyed himself a great deal at Hogwarts, but every time he thought of his sister he felt sad. His little sister, Regina, who was alone, in that house. And he couldn’t be there for her. He feared for his little sister, he had always stood up for Regina, he always made sure she was never alone. But while he was at Hogwarts, there wasn’t much he could do. Even so, he made sure he wrote the funniest, nicest and happiest letters he could possibly make, in the hope that it would make her happy, or at the very least happier. He wanted to make sure Regina’s life without him at Grimmauld place wasn’t as horrible as imagined. Because Sirius had, except the first year of his life where he didn’t remember much of, had also never really been alone at that cursed house. His little sister had just as much been there for him, as he had been there for her.
*
Sirius was picked up by his father. Orion didn’t speak a single word to him, Sirius supposed it was better that way. Better silence than screams, though he didn’t really expect anything else from his father. He was always silent, he wasn’t really involved in their lives, he was just there. His mother though, that's a completely different story. She always tried to be in complete control over everything he and Regina did, it made Sirius always feel like he couldn’t breathe.
When they arrived at Grimmauld place Sirius only saw Regina for a few minutes before their mother sent her to her chambers. She then ordered Sirius to follow her to the living room.
After a lecture from his mother that seemed to take forever to finish, Sirius was dismissed. He had it expected to be worse, lectures he could tune out most of the time. And normally Walburga preferred to punish them with pain curses so he didn’t understand why she didn’t now. Maybe it will come later?
He noticed that his trunk had left the spot where he dropped it. That ment that Kreacher had probably already taken it to his room.
When he just walked into the house,he had seen his little sister’s face lit up at the sight of him. That face was worth a thousand lectures or punishments of Walburga Black.
Sirius quietly walked to Regina’s room and opened it. Regina sat on his bed, but at the sound of the door opening she immediately stood up as straight as possible. When Regina saw it was Sirius who had entered her chambers her stiff posture immediately began to soften, relief flooding through her and a smile like Sirius had never seen before allowed itself to grow on Regina’s face.
They both flew in each other’s arms and he felt Regina hold on for dear life.
“Hi Reg.”
“Hi Siri, I missed you.” Regina said, her voice muffled because of burying her face in Sirius’ chest. Even though Regina was just one year younger than Sirius. The younger sibling was almost a head smaller than Sirius.
“I missed you too, I’m so glad to see you again.”
Regina seemed to hold on even tighter at his words. And then after what felt like an age, yet not nearly long enough they both slowly pulled back to look at one another.
There were tears in his little sister’s eyes. Sirius slowly led Regina to her bed and they both sat down. For a while they were silent just looking at each other. It was Regina who first spoke.
“So, is Hogwarts just as cool as you thought it would be?” She said with a weak smile.
Sirius grinned. “It is, it’s absolutely beautiful. I can’t wait for you to see it.” He said happily.
For the next few hours they sat there, Regina listening to all the stories Sirius told her. He told her about the classes and teachers, about the school grounds and how big the castle was, the pranks he pulled with his fellow marauders and of course all the times he got in trouble with mcgonagall, which earned him a giggle.
Away from their mother Regina was a totally different person. He supposed he was too, in some ways. Though Regina seemed to take it to another level. She was quiet and emotionless, she did exactly as she was told and would never go against their mother. When she did it always created an aching feeling in the pit of Sirius’ stomach.
But the moment it was just the two of them Regina relaxed, he could hear her giggle and sometimes laugh, she always could be sarcastic in a hilarious way, even though Regina never understood why it was so funny. But most importantly he could see his little sister relax and smile. But not when their mother was around. No never when their mother was around.