Teapaper

              She was off on Mondays, and by habit sequestered herself away at the arboretum with her book and her headphones. She’d purchased a year-long pass when she’d started this venture, needing a place to go that wasn’t within the confines of her apartment. Today the book just sat on her lap as she half listened to the sounds around her and the music that softly played in the other ear. She’d just raised her favorite tea to her lips when she was interrupted.

               “You’re unrecognizable you know.” His smooth baritone was accented by the rustle of clothing as he sat beside her.

               “Good. What brings you here?” She didn’t bother to turn her head.

               “Shopkeep told me where to find you.” He answered. “Really though, you’re nothing like the Hermione I last saw swanning off into Hogwarts ready to win the war.” He drawled the last part quietly in her ear.

               Hermione winced at the mention of the war then shivered at the feeling of breath on the shell of her ear.

               “War was won. I’m what’s left.” She sipped at her tea and fiddled with the Walkman that was close to being an antique to turn off the music. Buttons helped immensely. She’d loved the shiny touch screens the muggles had come up with but those were all but useless to her now.

               “Don’t be maudlin, sight comes back.” Snape snapped at her. She nearly smiled.

               “If sight was the only thing gone, I wouldn’t be maudlin. Now, if you’ll excuse me, they’ve somehow tricked some lilacs in to blooming completely out of season and I want to go smell them.” She answered mulishly and went to stand, hand reaching for her cane.

               With a rustle of fabric, a hand landed on her elbow to steady her, sending lightning shooting up her arm. Letting out a loud whimper of pain she snatched her arm back.

               “I’ll ask you not to do that again.” She said as she gripped her candy-striped cane. It doubled as an actual walking stick which came in handy more often than not, including now as she leaned heavily against it, waiting on the aftershocks of the contact.

               “Forgive me for remembering my manners for once Miss Granger.” Came his uptight reply.

               “Just this once. Don’t do it again.” She breathed out as the familiar pain began to spread down the rest of her body from her arm.  “Now, the lilacs.” She turned in the direction she knew the lilacs were from memory but it did help that she could faintly smell them from here. 

               “What is this that ails you?” Severus asked. “You were not this way yesterday.”

               “Well spotted. It’s my parting gift from the war. Trust me, its better if you don’t try to help me.” She answered as she made her way down the pathway.

               They were seated in front of the lilacs before she spoke again.

               “It’s my curse. A nasty little thing. I’ll never know another’s kind touch. Or their kindness.”

               “What do you mean by this?” Snape was quick to ask.

               “I mean that the last time someone made me tea just to cheer me up it was like drinking needles. I mean that your hand on my elbow felt like torture.” Hermione answered before drinking the last of her tea.

               “That’s,” Severus trailed off. The schoolgirl in Hermione would have danced at striking Snape speechless. Older Hermione would have rather not had the opportunity.

               “Yes. That’s.” she agreed. “If you’re going to be around more often out of curiosity or some sense of duty or whatever is bringing you to my bench, you can’t be kind.”

               Snape shifted on the bench.

               “You want my cruelty?” His voice dropped low enough to send a shiver up her spine and she was suddenly reminded of his classroom antics. She'd always secretly loved watching him stalk around the room when she wasn't desperately slaving away over her cauldron. It had been so terribly dramatic and slightly frightening and the pitch of his voice had been almost the same as this. 

               “It doesn’t hurt.” She told him instead of telling him what she thought of his teaching style. 

               “I see now why you’ve surrounded yourself by nothing and with not a soul to love you.”

               The words pierced her heart in a way that she didn’t expect. It was a bald truth. One that he’d flung in the open like a rotting secret for all to see. But seemingly it wasn't flung there with maliciousness as far as she could tell, it was simply put there just to be. 

               His words weren’t entirely true though: bless him, Ron had tried to stay as long as he could but eventually the reality that any brush of his fingers on her skin made her scream and cry was too much. He’d taken up with Lavender within a month of her exit from the hospital and she hadn’t heard from him since. Harry told her they were doing well together, that Ron seemed happy.

               She’d flung something at him for that truth for a reason she dared not name.

               “Love hurts. When the realization that things like hatred and anger will be one of the few things you’ll be able to truly feel from others without being tortured for it then the choice to be a nameless, faceless and blind nobody in a bookshop suddenly sounds like the closest thing to Nirvana. Forgive me if the choice was easy to make.”

               Her words hung in the silence between them for a while. Her nose began to go blind to the scent of the flowers.

               “I did not expect you to take this lying down such as you are.” Snape said at last. Out of habit her head snapped towards him.

               “And what would you have me do?” She snapped. “ March back in to the wizarding world after my sight is back only to be crippled with all day- every day as everyone tosses kind glances my way, receiving painful 'just-because' discounts at the bloody bookshop like I’m some kind of hero?" She paused to breathe then continued, "I’ve already been robbed of pleasure, don’t you dare try to rob me of my somewhat painless existence. I’ve done enough.”  Hermione pointedly turned her head away and took a deep, steadying breath.

               Snape didn’t talk after that. They sat for a while longer in a silence that stretched and grew into a pointed thing until he finally stood. He gave her a low hum of acknowledgement then left her be.

               The silence continued to stretch for her, placing her brain in a lilac scented haze as her thoughts whirled around the interaction. She wouldn’t call it strange, it was Snape purposely talking to her after all, everything about it was already strange. The shocks had dissipated to nothing and she was once again left numb. She didn’t put her music back on.