People always thought that I hated him. Even I thought that I hated him. But it’s a lie.
Indeed, we never liked each other’s guts but we never hated each other. Maybe that is the reason he saved my life that day at the manor or I saved him from the fire. We never wanted each other to die. for me, that’s a great soft spot knowing a manic and his followers ever after me my whole damn life.
Everything changed after the war. Most of us returned to Hogwarts to complete our NEWTS. That was when it all began. Apart from our rivalry for the past 7 years somehow we got along well. It was him who proposed a truce and I accepted it. But that didn’t stop us from insulting every time we saw each other. We enjoyed it. We both knew that whatever we say if it’s about my glasses or his hair or how he still is a daddy’s boy or how I am the ‘savior who could not keep to himself ‘ as he put it, we never meant it in bad ways. For us teasing was a way of coping. Everything was the same as before but yet everything changed.
Somehow we became ‘friends’ if I can put it that way. We never hung out like my other friends or talked to each other during our free time nor did we get each other presents for Christmas but still we cared for each other. More than I liked to admit. Now when I look back at those days I reckon our occasional insults were our only interaction. our whole 8th year went on like that. Now that I think of it I regret not telling him how much he meant to me, how much I loved him. But I couldn’t because back then I didn’t know either. I always thought that he was something to me, something special.
After our graduation, everyone went their separate way. Hermione and Ron moved in together and Ginny went to some foreign country for her quidditch matches and I started my auror training. That was where we met again. We were training partners. It was great to see him again. But it was a bit different. We wouldn’t insult each other anymore, we handled our relationship more maturely and named it ‘friendship’. It was great to be friends with him. We enjoyed each other's company when we went to get our coffee after a very exhausting training section or when we both hit a club every Friday evening or when we had our small talk during the boring ministry parties. We enjoyed every single moment we spent together.
Soon we became best friends. A kind of friendship that made Ron a little bit jealous. We would hang out every free time we got, talk to each other about what happened to us that day, and do every stuff we could think of to do with a friend. Soon we both became so important to each other that we couldn’t imagine a life without us being together. For me, he was my other half. He was a part of me that I would like to keep to myself forever. But that was where I went wrong. He was not mine. I didn’t own him. He was him and I was me. But by the time I realized it I had already fallen in love with him.
I don’t remember the exact moment I fell in love. It might be when he first repaired my glasses after I broke them during a training duel or it might be when he brought me my favorite food to my apartment when I was sick or maybe that time when he hugged me which he barely did when I was feeling down. I loved him for all these little things. Each day the more I spend time with him the more I fell for him. But I never knew it. My thick brain took so long to realize this that by the time everything enrolled for me it was too late
I watched the love of my life falling in love with someone else. I saw him slipping away from me. But I never did anything. Instead of doing anything I helped him get ready for his date, I helped him pick out flowers for her, I helped him choose the perfect ring for her, and I was even there at his wedding as his best man watching him dancing with his new wife. That was the moment I realized how much I was in love with him, the moment I realized I had lost him forever.
I tried to move on. I tried dating other people. But nothing worked out. I never felt what I felt when I was with him. He was the one for me and I lost him without even fighting for him. Falling in love with him was like meeting my other half, finding a part of my long-lost self. And now that he’s gone I was lost. Even after his wedding, we would still hang out. Still, I never told him how I felt about him.
I still remember that day when he came to me and said he was going to be a father. I was in my office doing some paperwork and the moment I heard what he said I knocked down a bottle of ink. I was happy for him but I was jealous too. Because I wanted that with him. A family, our kids, and our little house where we could spend our whole life caring for our children. I wanted what he had with his wife. They were like the greatest couple. They loved each other so much that it pained me to watch them. Still, I never told him anything. I loved him so much that to know letting him go was the right decision. He was happy and I wanted that to stay that way.
But that happiness didn’t last long. His wife died while giving birth to his son. He was heartbroken. I still remember that look in his eyes when he saw her for the last time. I was there for him then, by his side when he broke down with a baby in his hand. He clutched the little bundle and sat against the hospital wall. That was too much for me, seeing him so vulnerable. My heart was shattered into pieces when he clutched my shirt and begged me to make everything alright. But I couldn’t. Even though it broke my heart to see him like that, I couldn't just bring someone back from the dead.
Years passed and it was his son’s second birthday, two years after his wife died. I was always there alongside him raising his beautiful son. That was the day he asked me something surprising. I was sitting on the couch with the baby and he was making food for us. He then came back holding a cup of chocolate milk and handed it over to me for giving it to the baby and sat beside me.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, looking at his clasped hand.
“What?” I asked him diverting my attention from the child sitting in my lap.
“That you loved me,” he said simply. I was caught off guard. I would have dropped the baby if I wasn’t sitting. ”W-what ”
“You heard me, Harry,” he said, looking me dead in the eye. “I did indeed”
“Then answer me. Why didn’t you just tell me”
I didn’t know what to say. I never expected him to ask me something like this.
“How do you-” I was cut off mid-sentence. “I always knew harry,”
“Then why didn’t you-” I was once again cut off but this time it wasn’t him it was my voice who betrayed me. I couldn’t find my voice. My throat felt so dry.
“I always liked you harry but I was too afraid of rejection that I never told you. We were best friends and I didn’t want to ruin it. So I tried to hide whatever feelings I had for you. I knew back then that I couldn’t be with you. I thought you would never like me that way.” he let out a sad sign. I was still processing everything. I was so shocked to say anything. So he continued.
“ You remember Harry when I told you about my first date. You were so excited for me. You even bought me a new jacket.” he then gave me a sad smile. “ You have no idea how much I wanted you to get upset with me dating someone else. But you were happy for me. So I had to move on.” he then turned his gaze to the sleeping two-year-old in my hand. ” After that, I met her. Fell in love with her. Married her and had this beautiful child.” I looked at him with a tear-stained face. I saw his eyes glistening with tears. “I loved her harry. I still love her. But deep down I always knew that I could never love someone the way I loved you. Falling in love is not a one-time thing, but finding someone who completes you is. And for me that someone was you harry. You are my other half”
At this point, I was crying so hard that I didn’t even notice him taking the child from me.
I sat there letting everything sink. Minutes passed like years. Then he came back to me kneeling in front of the couch, facing me. “Harry…”. He then moved my hands from my face and lifted my chin to look up at him. ”I am so sorry harry. I could have just told you. But by the time I realized that you liked me too, it was too late. I was with her. And I was so confused. I loved her. And I loved you too. But I tried to hide that….again… I didn’t know what to do. I was a married man with an expecting wife who was in love with his best friend. I truly loved my wife but I never loved her like this harry. I never loved her as I loved you. And it took me so long to even tell you this.”
We both were in tears now. I tried to regain my voice which I lost when we began this conversation.
“ d-don’t cry…. You know it’s not your fault right. We both could have said something but we chose not to. Maybe this was meant to be this way. But I’m glad that you told me now. “
I gave him the best reassuring smile I could manage at that moment.
“ do you still love me harry… do you still want to be with him. Just me, you and our son… it would be perfect harry... We could even move to a house of our own. Just us harry...just us.”
He looked at me desperately for an answer.
“Just us?.....” I asked, looking into his eyes. There I saw everything I ever wanted. Happiness, caring, love...everything. He nodded his head.
“ kiss me Draco…” I asked him. He didn’t waste a second after that. He was kissing me with everything he got. With desperation, love, and passion. At that moment I realized that this is what I had been waiting for my whole life. His soft lips brushed mine. we were kissing each other. Softly, delicately.
He broke the kiss and looked into my eyes. “I love you…” there it was, the three simple but most powerful words.
I didn’t reply to him with an ‘i love you too’, instead I kissed him again. This time more roughly and passionately. Pouring as much love as I can. Letting him know that words can express my love towards him. His hands found their way to my waist and mine to his blonde hair. Our kissing became more intense. His tongue tangled with mine. He tasted like wine and peaches. Sweet and slightly acidic.
We pulled apart to catch our breath. Again locking eyes. We stayed like that for what felt like an eternity. Telling each other everything we felt without actually talking. There were no words between us. We didn’t need them to communicate. We just need each other.
THE NEXT DAY
The sun poured through the window. Making every corner of the room glow. I rubbed my eyes and sat on the bed.
“good morning sunshine.” came a smooth voice from my side.
“Good morning love. did I wake you?” I asked stretching up a little.
“ no, I was up already.” he too sat up and fetched my glasses from the table and handed them over.
“ is Scorpius up?” I asked. “Probably not. Why don’t you go and wake him while I make something to eat?” he asked getting up from the bed. Letting the sunrays hit this bare chest. He glowed under the light like some kind of god. I couldn’t take my eyes off him.
“Harry?” his voice brought me back from my thoughts.
“Yeah, sure.”
I got out of bed and headed to Scorpius's room.
When I reached there I saw a cute little baby boy sleeping and cuddling with his stuffed dragon.
“ Hey baby, it's time to get up,” I said slowly shaking him.
“ Nah…. I sweepy”.