American Teenager

After her dad accidentally blew his brain out, Natalie Scatorccio spent six hours in the police station having to testify about what happened. It probably would've taken a little less if her mom hadn't been chugging her way through a cheap bottle of Bourbon when the officers arrived at the scene.

It's not like she tried to stop her either.

Frankly, Natalie isn't really sure what happened after the incident. It had been her neighbours who called nine-one-one while she stared at the blood seeping through his dad's face and mixing into the mud of last night's rain. The next thing she realized were the lights from two police cards in front of her trailer. It managed to snap her out of wherever she was as the policemen secured the area.

And then she's at the police station.

Her mother has been put in a cell to sober up while the brunette waits in a room full of people. The only thing that Natalie focuses on is her combat boots; she keeps wondering if his blood is on them. They're filthy and worn out, and the thought that she might have stepped on her fathers' blood keeps intruding in her mind, making the teen feel queasy. She urges to look at her soles, terrified to discover if she's been spreading his blood with every step she takes.

It's like a cruel joke- how, even after passing, her father is still gonna find a way to torment her.

When the police finally start interviewing her, Natalie Scatorccio realizes she can't stop shaking. She feels feverish as she sweats and trembles under the eyes of the two grown men who keep questioning her about her father.

The brunette cringes as suddenly, her mother's wails flood her ears. It's not hard to guess she's woken up much more sober than a couple hours ago. Once the cries continue, police are quick to dismiss her, leaving her again in the waiting room full of strangers.

A week later, her mother swallows a bottle of pills.

She's admitted to the hospital, and Natalie ends up unattended in the trailer until social services knock on the door. It's not her first rodeo with them, but with her father dead and her mother wishing she was, Nat feels this isn't gonna go as she's used to.

Of course, it does not. She's sent to a group home which she runs away from during the first three hours.

But they find her again.

And she runs away again.

The third time Linda, the pesky social services woman, finds her, she discusses one more time the possibility of staying with a relative. Natalie doesn't even bother responding; her relatives are just as fucked up as her parents. She'd rather only live the nightmare once. After a three-hour conversation that led to nowhere, Linda finally gave in and allowed her to stay in the trailer that night. As she gets into her car, unknown to the teenager, she schedules a meeting with the school principal and the counsellor for the following morning.

Once Nat sees the car leave, she finds her way to the fridge. There's not much, but a beer is the only thing she'd been looking for, and one thing her parents always had was alcohol in the house. She moves to her room, taking a chug and crouching to look at her records. She settles on "Red Right Hand" by Nick Caves & The Bad Seeds. Once the music started, Natalie moved to the bathroom with two bottles of bleach, scissors, and her drink. She stands and watches herself in the mirror, lightly bobbing her head to the beat of the music.

She takes the scissors as she mouths the lyrics, "He'll rekindle all the dreams it took you a lifetime to destroy", as the first piece of brown hair falls to the floor.

The following day, Natalie steps into the principal's office at eight in the morning with a complete set of blonde bleach hair. She feels like she's been ambushed as she notices Coach Martinez, Linda, Mary (the shitty school councilor who Nat once keyed her car), and the principal all looking at her like she's some sort of wounded puppy. She contemplates making a run for it, but in those two seconds where she's considering what to do, Mary has shut the door behind her, leaving the teen no choice but to sit down and listen to whatever "we're here for you" crap they're gonna say next.

"So, Linda, who you already know, called me last night and discussed how you were having trouble adjusting in the group homes that were provided to you" The principal says, scanning over a bunch of papers scattered over his desk.

Natalie's attention shifts as she spots her own file on the table. A sense of unstableness swarms her stomach, and she takes a deep breath. Could they really expel her? I mean, judging by how the month of September has been treating her, she wouldn't be too surprised.

"I also understand there are no family members available or willing to take you in, so that leaves you in a pretty sticky situation."

Nat has to bite on her tongue so a "No shit, Sherlock" doesn't escape.

"Clearly, you can't live on your own, and you seem really eager to run away from group homes, but this can't keep happening for your safety and for the sake of your record. This delinquency streak would look terrible for your future. As a last resource, Linda suggested we house you with a friend of yours if their family home is stable enough to take another mouth to feed.

Natalie's attention has peaked. "Do I get to pick who I stay with?" She asks. Something that resembles hope glimmers in her eyes. This whole thing wouldn't sound as bad if she stayed with her friends.

"Not really. Linda has to check with their family history and income so you can get placed appropriately. Did you have someone in mind?"

"Kevyn Tan", She requests

The principal sighs tiredly "I thought you'd say him. Linda already checked with his family; they can't take you."

"Robbie Pa-"

"Also checked with his parents. No good"

Natalie's shoulders slump. "Those are my only friends."

"That's why I asked Coach Martinez to be here. He suggested you could stay with some of the girls from your team, which is wonderful as you've run out of options, Natalie"

"I bet Laura Lee would have a positive influence on you, Scatorccio", Mary, that cunt, suddenly adds.

"I'd rather not" She grits out.

Principal coughs "We don't even know if they're available to take someone in. We still need to call their parents and do background checks. We just wanted to talk to you beforehand"

"Right"

"So, we're all good? You agree to stay with one of the girls on your team?"

"I don't exactly have another choice," The blonde says under her breath

The principal smacks his hands together. "Great! Now, off to class. We don't want you to be late"

---

Can somebody take a wild guess on who Natalie got paired with?

No one?

Really?

Nope, not Laura Lee.

With fucking Elle Taylor and Michael Taylor.

Jackie's perfect, loving parents.

When Coach Ben had told her, Natalie looked for the nearest window to jump off. This had to be some kind of joke because staying over with Laura Lee didn't sound half as bad right now. It's not that she hates Jackie; the girl is tolerable sometimes; she just doesn't want to be her charity case. She's gonna parade Nat around like a girl who got a poor abused puppy and everyone is gonna think "Aw! What a sweet gesture from Jackie! What a good girl!".

And then she's probably gonna tell Shauna how hard it is to have Nat around. She'll whine about how the blonde is an alcoholic like her parents, and no matter how much help she gets, her future is already doomed; she won't ever get out of this little fuck ass town, she'll marry a guy who doesn't even like her, she won't even bother going to college because no matter how much she tries, everything that she ever wants gets fucking ru-

"-and this will be your room" Jackie gestures as she entered through the door "You have your own bathroom, so we won't be fighting over that, which is great because I take forever getting ready"

The room is... definitely a room. If Scatorccio could describe it in one word it would be 'pure'.

She has a proper bed, a little too pink for her taste, but she can't complain; it looks heavenly compared to where she's been sleeping for the last seventeen years.

"... It's... very you," Nat said as she dropped her bags near her new bed.

"Yeah, well, it is my house" It sounded colder than Jackie had intended.

"So, we have dinner around seven and lunch around twelve. But if you're hungry, you're free to serve yourself. Or if you aren't hungry, you can stay in your room, go outside, or- um yeah." The team captain rants, she isn't even bothering to look at Nat "And if you ever wanna go outside late for parties or whatever, you can always ring the doorbell when you need to get back in; my parents could sleep through a tornado alarm, so I'll have no problem opening the door for you. But don't do it too often because I need my sleep"

"Got it", Nat replies courtly

"Tonight we're having-"

"I'm not hungry. I think I'll stay here if that's okay"

"Totally!"

Jackie must have expected the blonde to say something else, maybe even thank her for being the sweet and loving Jackie she always is. But she doesn't, so they just stare awkwardly at each other for a few seconds in complete silence.

The younger girl clears her throat "Well, good night!"

It was not a good night.

Natalie spent most of it pacing around the room. Something about sleeping in Jackie's home freaked her the fuck out. They'd never been friends. She's pretty sure that when she tried out for the team Jackie tried to talk coach Martinez into letting another sophomore in instead of the burnout.

At some point in the night she'd opened the window to smoke. Then, she proceeded to lose it because she didn't know if the Taylors had any type of fancy smoke detectors in their house that would pick up even the slightest bit of smoke. The last thing she wants to do is wake up the perfect little family cause she was craving a cig.

Honestly, she was craving something a lot more potent than a cig, but she'd hid her hard stuff beneath her trailer home if the Taylors decided to search her bags before letting Natalie inside their house.

There was something deeply unsettling about spending the night at Jackie's house. She'd been there before during team hangouts, but the house atmosphere shifted drastically from 6pm to 2am.

Or maybe she was just traumatized, but imagining that the Taylors house is haunted was way more fun.

Natalie ditched the cigarette and put her headphones on as she looked outside her window; it gave her a full view of the neighborhood. It was nice, to say the least. She knew the kind of people that lived here. She could tell that the women played golf while their husbands flirted with everything that moved. They'd probably find his secretary sleeping in their bed, in the sheets they wash, and continue to be with their husband. Getting a divorce would be such a scandal; everyone still remembers what happened to Deborah. She even had to move neighborhoods. What a humiliation! Then they'd raise a fuck ton of children, their sons would take on the family tradition and become misogynistic, angry assholes, and their daughters would become manipulative cunts that think they can have their way just because mommy and daddy have money.

All by the way they cut their lawn.

---

"How is life with the Taylors?" Van Sing-songs as the girls pack up in the locker room.

Practice went... well they've had better days. Coach Martinez spent the whole two hours roaring at them; Natalie thinks he has the lungs to sing metal because even at the end, there isn't even a shake to his voice. Those vocal cords must be holy.

"Shut up, Van" Nat mumbles, this is the last thing she needs

"Come on... you must be buddies by now. How many times have you heard Jeff squeal when they do it?" Van nudges her

In any other circumstance, Nat would've laughed with Van. Maybe tell her how she saw Jeff fall face-first onto the Taylors front lawn and got cramps from laughing so hard.

But she doesn't.

She doesn't because she's frustrated, drained and downright embarrassed about her situation.

Which is maybe why she screams at Van.

"Van, can you shut the fuck for once in your life, or is it too fucking hard?!"

The rest is a bit of a blur; she recalls slamming her locker, a vague memory of Tai shouting back at her and Van reaching out. But somehow, she ends up under the bleachers.

Lottie, as always, shows up at one point. She hovers over Nat.

"Van was looking for you", Lottie states

"I know, I'm avoiding her" She exhales the smokes

Lottie hums as she looks at her

"Can I join?"

"Sure"

Nat kills her cigarette; when Lottie isn't drunk or high, she hates how the smoke lingers on her hair.

"Practice sucked"

Nat can't help but snort, that's the understatement of the century.

"Yeah... maybe Laura Lee wasn't praying hard enough"

Lottie chuckles, and it's the best thing Nat has heard all day.

They fall into a comfortable silence for a while; the blonde is trying to spend as much time outside of the Taylor house so she stays seated until Lottie stretches and admits she has to go home. They both start walking to Lottie's car because Nat is such a gentleman that she usually helps the brunette carry her equipment to the car.

(Not because she wants to spend more time with her)

(duh)

"You look tired." Lottie points out

Natalie rolls her eyes "Jeez... you sure know how to make a girl feel good"

"That's not how I meant it, and you know" Lottie frowns, she can tell the blonde wants to avoid the subject.

Natalie doesn't respond for a while, staring at the ground as they walk.

"Yeah, I'm tired" She confesses

Lottie nods, popping the trunk. Nat helps her load her books into the backseat, and the brunette turns to her.

"Want me to drive you to Jackie's place?"

"Mm?" She blinks

"You're tired. And well... it looks like it could rain"

Sure, she is exhausted, but Jackie's place isn't that far from school. She looks up and frowns; the clouds seem pretty far away. She should be fine. She should deny the offer.

"Sure. Sure whatever"

Sue her okay? Lottie's car is comfy.

Turns out, it does start raining. Quite a lot, frankly. The second the brunette turns her engine on, she can see the first few raindrops fall onto the windshield. She folds her arms onto herself and slightly curls in Lottie's velvet seat. It all smells like the taller girl, making her eyelids drop gradually. She hates how her guard melts away when they're alone.

As the drive continues, neither of them feels forced to engage in conversation. They understand that they need a bit of peace and quiet.

She hadn't even noticed she had fallen asleep until a sneeze from her friend wakes her up.

Fuck.

She stretches a little. When Nat turns to the side, she sees her teammate reading on her flip phone. Her curls falling in front of her and framing her face. The urge to reach out and comb her fingers through those curls is powerful.

When she looks around, she realizes they're parked in front of the Taylor's residence.

"Lottie?" She yawns

"Mm?" The brunette turns to face her.

"I... how long have I been out?"

"fifteen minutes"

The blonde wants to groan- how fucking embarrassing. She hopes she didn't snore or anything like it.

"Why didn't you wake me up?"

"you looked comfy", Lottie shrugs.

Natalie drags her hands over her hair and breathes, attempting to clear the fog out of her mind.

"Uh... thank you for... you know" Nat gestures with her hands.

Lottie beams at the appreciation, and when Natalie sees her little fangs peak through her lips, her stomach does a triple flip. She's fucked.

---

The first week passes by and nothing too important happens. She spends as much time as she can out of the house, trying her best to avoid the Taylors. It's quite an easy task. She's been avoiding people since she learned how to walk. The first lesson in avoiding someone is knowing your target, which requires Natalie to do what she does best.

Observe.

Since the second night, Scatoccio has been able to tell who is opening the front door by just the sound of their keys jingling. She can tell who is up and walking around just by the way their footsteps sound; Jackie's sounds preppy, fittingly enough. She has a little pep in her walk that Nat can hear surprisingly well. For Elle Taylor, they're soft, almost too soft to be human. They're hauntingly quiet but still noticeable for Nat's trained ear. However, Michael Taylor is the one that unsettles her the most, and she can't pinpoint why. They sound normal, like regular fucking footsteps, like he's just walking to get somewhere.

Maybe it has to do with the fact that they sound so different from her dad's. Maybe it's the fact that she swears she can still hear him stomp around the trailer house, wasted, looking for any type of spare change to buy more booze. She can still hear her mother's pleas as he barges into Natalie's room and shoves her out of bed, demanding Nat's pocket money.

He can't seem to remember he had already taken her money two days ago in the same manner.

But maybe Natalie is just tired; she hasn't been sleeping well after all, and that's why they unsettle her so much.

Something that she's thankful for is that Jackie hasn't taken the initiative to become her BFF, so she is left alone whenever they cross paths, keeping their interactions short.

And that's exactly how she wants it to be. The last thing she needs right now is Jackie trying to become best friends with her.

Now that she thinks about it, she has been avoiding Jackie the hardest. Something about starting a conversation with her makes her stomach swirl.

She'll just squirm uncontrollably like a scared dog under those big eyes of hers. She'll give Nat a little "aw poor thing" and just a speckle of attention. Enough to keep her satisfied but also enough to make her realize how starved she is for it.

So yeah, by the second week Natalie is sure she could give masterclasses on how to avoid the Taylors.

The blonde had started smoking at night in order to soothe herself before going to bed and have something that could resemble a restful sleep. It felt uncanny sleeping in a house that didn't reek of smoke.

As Natalie is perched up on the window- she watches the neighborhood quietly. It brings her some sort of comfort- however, she misses the dogs from the trailer park barking nonstop.

She hadn't recognized how she had clung to any sort of familiarity and constant she could. Because it seems ridiculous to tell someone that she misses the sound of her fridge buzzing or the way her floor creaked when she tossed in her bed.

The door opens with a sudden knock, like when you tell your mother to knock, and she makes a vague attempt as she slams your door open.

Jackie has her hair in rollers, and she's in her PJs.

"Nat, have you seen my soccer shoes? I think I left them in-"

But Natalie isn't listening anymore- she's scrambling like a baby giraffe drenched in olive oil, trying to put her cigarette out, apologize, attempt to remember where Jackie's shoes are, close the window, and kill herself all at once.

"Fuck, shit, sorr-"

Jackie waves her hands

"No, no! It's fine, I swear. I don't mind!"

Natalie pauses everything she is doing and raises her eyebrows.

"I swear... " Jackie reassures as she closes her door and leans on it. "I mean, I was kinda wondering how you were smoking 'cause I haven't seen outside, you know?"

The blonde nods, and she lights up her cigarette again. She is definitely gonna need another one after this fright.

"Why do you smoke?"

Nat shouldn't answer. She doesn't want to have conversations, and she doesn't fall for these tricks.

But Nat is weak. She craves any sort of attention.

"It's familiar."

Jackie nods in an awkward, slightly endearing way.

And then there is silence again. And this should be the end of the conversation. Nat should say she's tired and she is going to bed.

But she can't. This is the first time in a month she's had something that resembles a semi-normal conversation with someone who isn't Lottie.

"Do you want one?" Gestures the cigarette. She doesn't know what else to do.

"Sure" She walks towards the window. Sitting in front of Nat as she grabs a cigarette from her.

"This isn't me pear pressuring you, though. Don't smoke, Jackie. It doesn't make you any cooler" Nat mutters as she lights it up for her.

Jackie chuckles as she takes a puff.

"It's fine, Nat, This isn't the first time I smoked, you know?"

Natalie nods, She had seen her a couple times drunk with a cigarette in her hand, talking to Jeff about god knows what.

"You know... I had to teach Shauna because she wanted to impress someone. She never told me who, but I don't think it worked out cause she kept coughing," She remembers, eyes softening the way they always do when she talks about Shauna.

Natalie observes her.

"And how did you learn?"

It takes Jackie a couple seconds to answer.

"At summer camp. Most of the friends I made were older, and they had managed to smuggle a couple of packs. I spent most nights gossiping and learning tricks"

Nat laughs under her breath at the thought.

"And who were you trying to impress with those tricks?" She inhales slowly

"Them... I guess? I don't know. I was fourteen and angry at my parents for leaving me at camp"

Natalie nods; she knows a whole lot about being fourteen and angry at your parents.

"But you don't smoke... regularly?" Natalie asks, but it comes more as a statement.

"No... Shauna complains about any sort of smoke"

"Yeah, I've noticed"

Jackie giggles "And it's like... not good for my health"

"No way... really?" Nat deadpans

Jackie rolls her eyes slightly "Yeah yeah, whatever... Sometimes I wonder what happened to those girls. They were nice"

Silence.

"When did you start?"

Nat chuckled dryly, shaking her head.

She'd been inhaling smoke before she could read.

The blonde can't think of a time when her clothes or hair hadn't reeked of tobacco. The question can't help but bring up memories where little Natalie has had to explain herself to teachers, to kids, to parents, to everyone that she wasn't smoking. That she couldn't help it.

Once she got older, it was just easier to start smoking herself.

At the lack of answers, Jackie realizes that she might have asked the wrong thing.

Jackie questioned awkwardly. "So, um... how are you liking it here?"

"You've got a really nice house" She exhales

"Thanks, my mom tries to keep it looking good, with some help, of course"

"Of course" She mumbles back

And for some fucking reason, Natalie's mind can't stop thinking about her own home. How the door never locked properly and she had to tie it together because her father had broken it open too many times.

The blonde can't think about one time her house has looked nice. Decent? Yeah, maybe, especially when they had CPS knocking on their door. That was always the nicest Nat can remember her house being.

"Are you sleeping okay? It tends to get a little cold during nighttime." Jackie tries again, keen to keep the conversation going

"Yeah, it's fine."

"Okay... and uh... we don't really see you at dinner or wh-"

That's enough for today

"I'm tired, Jackie"

Jackie may not be a genius, but she can sense the shift in Natalie's tone. She must've poked around a little too much. She puts out her cigarette and throws it out the window

"Right... yeah, it is late. Well, I'll uh leave you be. Good night, Natalie."

"yeah... You too"

---

"Are you not gonna ask me how living with Jackie is?" Natalie blurts out one morning before class.

Back at home, sometimes the water would get cut, so she would sneak early before classes into the locker room to shower. That also meant she was sometimes ridiculously early, and she'd just wander around the empty halls until the school started to fill up. Even though she now showers back at the Taylor place with her own personal bathroom, she still liked going early. It was an attempt to continue with her old life as much as possible. She was still the same person, after all.

Lottie, of course, showered home, but she liked being early. The brunette enjoyed talking to her friends before class started, catching up on homework and grabbing the occasional coffee with Shauna.

It also meant spending uninterrupted one-on-one time with Nat. And this was the case this Thursday morning. They were sitting down in their designated spot as the eldest finished some work she had due that day.

Lottie loved hanging out with the blonde during the mornings- there was something so endearing to her when she talked to Nat, eyes still full of sleep and trying to hide her yawns from the brunette. The blonde was surprisingly docile at 7am.

"Do you want me to ask?" Her gaze doesn't leave her notebook.

No.

"That's why", Lottie mumbles at the pause like it was obvious. Like Natalie is some sort of book she has already read a billion times.

"Everyone's been talking about it"

"Not everyone"

Nat scoffs

And Mathews can't lie, not to her. "Okay, fine... it's a popular conversation topic..."

"Her house smells nice" The blonde spills out.

Nat is expecting a "What the fuck? Why would we be talking about the way a house smells"

"Like what?"

But that's not who Lottie is. She follows Nat wherever she goes.

"Rich... but not like yours...more... I don't know. It's soft, light, like a breeze"

"What does mine smell like?" The brunette blinks

"Clean... way too clean to be normal. But your room smells nice, like vanilla and fancy perfume" Nat blushes; she answered that a little too fucking quickly.

Lottie smirks but doesn't say anything as she notices the color on her cheeks.

"And Shauna's... it smells like pinewood"

Natalie forgets all about her embarrassment as she nods with enthusiasm; Lottie is so right.

"Oh my god, yes... so much. Pinewood and... candles, which does not sound the safest but..."

Lottie giggles at her joke, and the blonde feels the warmth from her cheeks navigate down to her chest.

"Did you know Jackie smokes?"

"Yeah... Shauna told me, although I've never actually seen her smoking"

"She came one night to my room- her room... And uh, we ended up talking and smoking"

"How was it?"

"I thought I was hallucinating for a second"

Lottie's mouth twitches upward; Nat and Jackie interacting out of soccer does a bit like a fever dream.

"But she's bearable when she's not talking about Shauna... By the way, have you slept over at her house?"

The brunette hums in agreement. "Once or twice"

"Did you meet her parents?"

She nods. "Yeah- her mom is usually at our games."

The blond nods absentmindedly. It's true. She doesn't remember a time when Elle missed any of their games. Her support stirred her stomach in a manner she didn't want to address. Her own mother probably thinks she plays volleyball or something; the amount of pills and booze have probably fried her brain.

"How are they treating you?"

Natalie loathes the concern she spots in Lottie's voice.

"Fine", She answers.

Again, Lottie must've read her like a book because she decides not to pry any more and give her some time.

The silence helps; she breathes and tries to think logically; the last thing she wants to do is snap at the brunette only because she cares about Nat.

Cares- Lottie cares.

"I can't sleep"

"Too different from your place... or something else?"

Natalie huffs; different is not suitable to explain this whole situation.

"Well... my parents are gone for the week, and the house is gonna be too empty for my liking."

Natalie snickers. "Is that an invitation for me to be your night and shining armor?"

Lottie is mentally high-fives herself. She knows Natalie too well to not say, "You could sleep at mine. I know you're familiar with it". Natalie would have reddened, cursed and insulted her all at the same time, and then go on a rant about how she isn't her fucking pity case because, god forbid, people do something decent for her.

So, if she makes Natalie feel like she should stay to help Lottie. If she feels like she is useful and helping someone, her selfless ass will do it in a heartbeat.

"I will pay you in shitty horror movies and homemade pasta."

"Sold"