The Grave
Lirum And Percy existed together in a comfortable silence for some time after their conversation. Sitting at their table in the library alone, Percy reading and Lirum pretending to while mentally playing connect the dots between all of Ron, Harry, and the twins' actions and Percy’s reactions struggling to keep the group afloat. Occasionally feeling bad for being so stubborn with him before remembering that neither of them are wholly right or wrong. Both simply acting and reacting to what was happening around them.
Eventually they’d drawn every conclusion they could muster and moved to drawing patterns on his face; Percy’s beautiful constellations. Lirum had been too busy worrying about the Serpent of Slytherin, and being followed by all of their pure blood friends. They missed having a quiet moment to just think about how pretty Percy was when he was happy. He had brilliant blue eyes that shined when he was happy but pierced though you like ice when he was angry. His curly red hair, usually forced to sit neatly on top now sitting more relaxed from his hands running through it. Paired with his gentle smile he’d held since they began “reading” together.
He stirred suddenly and for a moment Lirum thought they’d been caught starting. He closed his book and tucked it under his arm before standing.
“I think we should get back now before they form a search party.” Percy said softly, reaching a hand out to Lirum.
“Oh right, we have been gone for a while now, haven’t we?” Lirum said, taking his hand and standing from the library table. “Although I can’t lie, I really hope that the common room doesn’t still smell like they’ve been playing gobstones.”
“I don’t know what you're talking about! I for one think that vinegar and gobstone spit make for a lovely air freshener. Top of the line really! I use it for everything!” Percy joked, smiling edging on. Lirum was more than happy to be teased about gobstones of it meant Percy would stay like this. Happy and carefree, everything Lirum wanted with him. The pair walked together back towards the common room.
“Hey Percy?” Lirum asked quietly as they climbed the stairs together.
“Yes Lirum?” Percy answered, stopping on the stairs to look at them.
“When we get back can we just sit by the fire and read for a bit. I know we spent all day in the library so I understand if you want to do something else. I just thought it could be really pleasant. I know the others will probably be loud but it's quite cold and it feels like more fun than whatever game they’ll ask us to join.” Lirum asked softly, hoping for a peaceful rest of their night.
“I think it sounds lovely.” He said as they finally stopped in front of the fat lady’s portrait. “I know you probably don’t want to hear it but, happy birthday and I’m sorry for being so overbearing and over controlling I never meant to make you feel helpless. I just wanted to do something right and keep you safe. I didn’t know about your parents or your birthday, I just wanted you to be safe.”
“Percy, you’re one of the most caring people I’ve ever met. So, don’t worry too much. I’ll still be here, even when you’re being an arse.” Lirum whispered, reaching a hand up to run though his hair teasingly, arm falling to rest over his shoulder.
He shined with a warm close eyed smile. All it would take was to lean closer they thought as Percy looked back up and towards them. They did, lips grazing each other and clumsily colliding with his. Soft and so much warmer than the chilly winter air around them. He smelled of old books, a hint of wood and the smoke from fireplaces. A cozy feeling that was shattered as they snapped back to the reality of what they’d done. They’d kissed one of their best friends. Their goodie two shoes straight best friend. He’d just broken up with his girlfriend. He thought of Lirum like his younger brothers, like a child. It was too late Lirum had kissed him and their was nothing they could do to take it back.
“Lirum…I-“ Percy started, eyes closed and cheeks flushed. They needed to think fast. They closed their eyes and stuck their hand in their pocket to grab their wand. They knew nonverbal magic was possible but they weren’t sure how to do it themself. If their was ever a time they would learn now would be it. They begged silently for the summoning charm to work to blame some silly Christmas tradition for their misguided affection.
Lirum looked up at the empty ceiling to find they had no such luck. They swore to themself they would practice nonverbal magic after this. You’d think after all the books they’d read they would have studied it before. Percy took hold of Lirum’s hand looking as if he wanted to say something but was unable to find the words.
“We should go, I’m sorry I wasn’t thinking I-“ Lirum started awkwardly unsure of how to even talk to him after what they’d done.
“Uh, No you’re alright, I just-we should-“ Percy started so awkwardly Lirum wished they could disappear. They felt they could die of embarrassment of he said another word.
“Y-Yeah, we should go-“ they stammered out as the portrait hole swung open to reveal Fred.
“There you are, we thought you were gonna be out here pouting for ages!” He called out to them before his face soured. “Wait, what’s going on out here? What did you do Percy?”
“What are you on about now, Fred?” Lirum asked, looking at the stone-faced boy who glared at his brother.
“You can’t lie to me when your hair changes colour like that I know he’s done something!” Fred argued, arms crossed.
“And why do you think I did something?” Percy snapped back at his younger brother.
“Because it’s always you! You’ve always done something to upset them!” Fred snapped at Percy.
“Me? If anything you’re the one who-“
“Boys, Boys, You two are both idiots it’s nothing to fight about!” George’s voice called out from the common room.
“Well he-“ Fred started again looking back toward the common room.
“Actually, it was me! I did something stupid I’m just embarrassed, no need to argue.
“What’s it with the colour then? It’s weird, like a warm brown?” He said, turning his attention towards Lirum. Calling attention to it made the embarrassment far worse.
“I believe we’ve established before pink is embarrassed and brown is uncomfortable so it would make sense for the colours to mix into a warmer brown instead.” Percy said, crossing his arms and stepping between Fred and Lirum.
“Wait, when did the two of you talk about my hair?” Lirum asked, confused and a little uncomfortable.
“The six of us actually.” George said, leaning against the doorway holding the portrait hole open.
“Six?!” Lirum asked, shocked and concerned.
“Well, the three of us Cedric, Neville, and Luna.” Percy listed.
“Why are you all talking about my hair?” Lirum asked, now fully appalled.
“It changes with how you feel all the colours mean something different.” Fred answered nonchalant.
“So what, you all just sat around talking about it?” The Ravenclaw asked.
“No, we made a List.” The three weasley boys said in tandem.
“That’s creepy!” Lirum shouted.
“It was important!” The Twins chorused.
“You’re making them more uncomfortable!” Percy snapped, as the twins looped their arms under Lirum’s and pulled them into the common room.
“Come on, we have a surprise for you!” They said together, dragging Lirum along.
“Let them go! I doubt they want any part of a surprise from the two of you!” Percy bellowed down the hall behind them.
As the three came to a stop Lirum looked up to see green balloons and streamers. A set of charmed fireworks whizzed around spelling happy birthday shone brightly. The twins were seemingly overjoyed with their handiwork as they shouted out a chorus of surprise and happy birthday. They had tried almost as hard as Lirum had, to stop them. A part of them withered inside being forced to remember what today was. Ten years, ten since their parents died, four since they’ve been able to avoid it. Four years they’d been lucky enough for no one to remember, or try to force them to celebrate.
Their grandfather always tried to celebrate their birthday. He didn’t want their day ruined by its past. They hated it, the day only served as a reminder their parents were gone. No amount of well wishes or party streamers could replace what had been lost. The day had been ruined forever. As soon as they realised they could avoid the day by staying at school they had. First year was the first time since their parents passing they hadn’t felt trapped on their birthday, and now the safety of staying and being free had been stolen from them. Once again their choices had been stolen by people who “wanted the best for them” , and they despised it.
“Lirum?” Fred asked, staring at Lirum who still felt frozen.
“You absolute Idiots!” Percy bellowed from behind them as he entered the common room.
“You don’t like it? We spent all day decorating.” George started as he gestured to all of their hard work.
“Yeah, we got everyone onboard for the ‘gobstones tournament’ bit to get you out of the common room and everything.” Fred finished standing next to George between Lirum and the decorations.
“You used me, to do this.” Percy said in shock as he took another step forward. “You knew what buttons to press, and that they would go after me. You used me! To do this!” He screamed, realising exactly what they’d done.
“It was for them Perce, calm down!” Fred chimed, not realising the gravity of what happened.
“Lirum are you alright?” George watched Lirum, eyes scanning them repeatedly. “What’s wrong?”
“Did you ever stop to think why? Why didn't they want you to know when it was? Their birthday! The thing they so adamantly didn’t want you to know? No? Just what you wanted? Of course you only thought about what you wanted! When have you ever thought about how your actions will affect others?” Percy shouted, moving to stand between Lirum and the twins. Fred fell quiet as he looked at Lirum.
“Lirum, Love, talk to me, please, what’s wrong?” George begged, attempting to get past Percy.
“Don’t you dare think you’re any better! They asked for you to stop, begged for it! You could tell something was wrong and told him to stop them! Why? Why would you let him do this? Why would you help him, knowing how much it would upset them?” Percy snapped viciously.
“Upset them, I-“ George stopped for a second looking between Percy and Lirum. “Stop shouting. You’re making it worse.” He said seriously.
“I’m making it worse! The absolute audacity for you to even-“ he paused for a moment as George tried to slip past him to Lirum. He looked back for a brief moment, they made eye contact. “Lirum?”
Lirum stood alone with their thoughts, miles between them and the others in the room. When time froze. How do you process the grief of a betrayal when the traitor doesn’t know their crime. How do you process grief when you feel like you’re the one in the grave. When clawing back though the dirt and worms every day just to see the sunrise in the morning. How do you abandon what was once your whole world in the grave as you leave it. When the air is above your head and your lungs burn from its crushing weight. They couldn’t breath. The shouting has stopped and it is far to quit and yet the silence shrieks in decibels only the living can hear when they stand buried alive. They are crying but could not tell you who the tears were for.