A new normal
Something deep within Severus, something long broken, shattered beyond repair he had thought, began to heal when Harry put his daughter in his arms. His son was precious beyond words, the little boy was perfect, he looked just like Harry and Severus was sure when he finally opened his eyes they would be as green as his father's.
This wide-eyed little girl however had his eyes, his mother's eyes, and his sister's eyes. He had no doubt his sister would have had these eyes too, had she ever had the chance to open them. Severus looked down at the little girl in his arms and he knew that she would be an omega. Some deeply buried omega instinct told him she would be and he could not let her go.
It was one of those moments people write about when they romanticised birth and parenthood. The moment of revelation, the moment he fell in love with her and forgot the pain of the birth. He snorted softly at the thought and held her close breathing in her scent. It reminded him somehow of his mother. There was just a hint of cedarwood and lavender like his own but mixed with that newborn baby scent. Harry had tried to take her, probably so he could rest after the exertion of giving birth but he had resisted and Harry stepped back.
Abigail was still fussing around him checking his blood pressure and examining his abused hole, which was currently numb probably with shock. He knew he had needed stitches, he couldn't honestly say he was surprised. Morgan had explained the muggle option of stitches was best for healing a tear down there.
Once Abigail was happy that Severus' blood pressure was stable but on the way down, he and Harry were moved to a private room with their twins. Harry tried again to remove the baby from his arms so he could be moved to their new room. Severus had growled at him and Morgan had told Harry to leave him be, he was protecting his daughter. Harry had frowned at that but taken the advice of the other omega and left the baby in her papa’s arms. Abigail observed Severus' reaction and made arrangements for him to be moved to the room without letting go of his baby. Morgan had stayed until they were settled and then she hugged both men and left to apparate home.
Severus was still holding his daughter sitting in the double bed in their private room. Their son was wrapped up tight in his blanket in the small plastic bassinet the hospital provided, which was now beside the bed. He was sleeping peacefully, having only woken up once while Harry was holding him, just long enough to reveal his soft grey eyes, which would, Severus was certain, change to green, before he went back to sleep.
The nurse had assured Harry it was perfectly normal for babies to be tired after their birth and that their son was a healthy five pounds eight ounces and he was breathing normally and his colour was good. Their daughter was slightly smaller than her brother, she weighed five pounds three ounces but was also breathing well and had good colour. Abigail was satisfied that she was perfectly healthy if not sleepy.
Harry moved to sit next to Severus on the bed. The omega winced slightly as the bed moved; he was beginning to realise just how sore he was now that the babies were out and the adrenalin was wearing off. Abigail had given him a pain potion but it had only taken the edge off the pain, she told him he could have something stronger when his blood pressure was a bit lower.
“I am sorry love,” Harry whispered when he saw the wince.
Severus turned and smiled at the concerned-looking alpha. He moved the little girl slightly towards her father and replied “It’s fine love, it's not nearly so bad now as it was getting these two out.”
Harry huffed. “This had been the most wonderful and terrible night of my life Sev, you are truly amazing you know. I can’t believe how strong you are,” he told the omega. He reached up to run his finger down his husband's face and he leaned in to press their lips together.
It was not a long kiss it was just Harry wanting to show his love for his husband.“It was certainly not pleasant alpha, but it was not the worst pain I have ever felt, though it definitely lasted for the longest amount of time,” Severus said with a grimace when they broke apart.
Harry snuggled against his husband and looked at his daughter who was watching her papa with her dark eyes. “She is perfect Sev, do you have a name in mind?” Harry asked, slowly moving his hand to cup his daughter's head.
“I do,” Severus said quietly.
Harry looked expectantly at his husband and Severus let out a slow breath then drew in another before he started to talk. “I was sixteen when my mother died and my father would not allow me to have anything of hers, he put a lock on their bedroom door and he never went back in there. He moved into the guest bedroom downstairs, he would sleep there sometimes when he was too drunk to get up the stairs. One night while he was at the pub, I picked the lock and went in. I searched for something I could take that he would probably not miss should he ever go looking. I found a wooden box at the bottom of her wardrobe. I didn't know what it was but it felt like it should be mine so I took it. I shoved the box under my bed but I didn't dare open it. My father died over a year later and the Dark Lord sent Lucius to help me with the arrangements. We went to the church to organise the funeral and the priest showed me the plot where mum was buried and I noticed there was another name on her headstone, with hers,” Severus took a shuddering breath then he ploughed on.
“In the end I couldn’t bring myself to bury the cruel son of bitch next to my mum. Lucius paid to have him cremated and I relished every moment of dumping his ashes in the river that runs through Cokeworth. Lucius also paid for a cleaning service to help me clean out the house. I didn't keep much, only my mother’s journals with her potion work and magic she had written, her locket and a woollen wrap that Lily’s mother gave her one Christmas. She loved it and she wore it all the time, it still smelled of cedarwood, like her. I also kept the box I had taken the year before. When I started work at Hogwarts took it with me still unopened, I kept it for several years before I found the courage to open it. When I finally did, I found my baby photos and all the pictures mum ever took of me, some of my baby clothes, my first lost tooth and a lock of hair, a book recording my milestones and the storybooks she had read to me as a child,” Severus stopped and took a deep breath, he tensed a little and Harry braced himself to hear something awful.
“Right at the bottom there was a small flat box and in it were three black and white photos of a baby, a tiny little girl, dressed up in a frilly white dress and a letter addressed to me. Mum had written the letter, she must have known he would kill her and she wanted me to know. The baby was my little sister. She was born too early, and she…it was the 60s and she was born in a muggle hospital. I don’t know if it was because of him or the lack of specialist equipment then but she died. My sister died because the bastard beat my mum so badly he put her in hospital and she went into labour...Mum was lucky to survive. I was three at the time but after that, she couldn’t have any more children.”
Severus paused again and took a breath. He had not really intended to tell this whole story but somehow he couldn't stop. He had never told anyone before but needed to tell Harry now. He wanted his husband to know about his sister, and to understand why he chose this name. “My sister's name was Emerald Rose, I was thinking we could call our daughter Cedar Emerald Rose,” Severus finished, a tear sliding down his face.
Harry wiped the tear with his thumb and wrapped his arms around the omega, who had not taken his eyes off the baby in his arms. He kissed the omega’s temple. “That’s perfect love,” he said softly.
Cedar Emerald Rose seemed to think so too, she sighed and finally closed her eyes and went to sleep. Severus allowed Harry to take the sleeping baby and put her in the other bassinet. He slipped down under the covers of the double bed and wrapped his arms around himself. When Harry returned he slipped in behind his husband and pulled him close. Severus turned to face his alpha and they wrapped themselves around each other in a way they had not been able to for some time.
“Did you have any thoughts about our son’s name, alpha?” Severus asked after a few minutes.
Harry sighed “I do, but my thoughts seem terribly frivolous compared to your reasons for choosing Cedar’s name. I am not even sure you will like it and it rather depends on him being an alpha,” he said cryptically.
“He is an alpha,” Severus told him.
Harry pulled back to look at Severus in his arms. “Did you ask for the charm to be cast tonight?”
“No, I just know. He is an alpha and Cedar is an omega,” Harry hummed. “So are you still planning to have the charm cast?” he asked.
“Yes Alpha, Penny will come back and do it tomorrow, what's the name you chose?” Severus asked again.
Harry nodded, unsure what to make of Severus announcement. “Well, if he is an alpha, then one day he will be Lord Potter-Black and all the Blacks have star names. So I was thinking, Henry Leonis Black,” he said with a sly grin.
Severus startled the alpha by laughing out loud, “I think that is perfect Harry, Lord Black the Lion,” he said with an amused smirk. “What made you think of that?”
Harry hesitated “I like the name Henry…” then he said “...and Sirius, he ah, he would think that Leonis was funny, I thought about just Leo…” he trailed off. He was uncertain how Severus would react to the mention of his Godfather.
Severus just nodded, still amused by Harry’s choice of name “So would Regulus. Henry Leonis, it’s perfect Harry,” he said softly. “So we agree then?” he asked.
“I believe so, my beautiful omega,” Harry said, kissing the head which was tucked under his chin. “Thank you Sev, for giving me Henry and Cedar,” he whispered.
Severus snuggled closer and said “You're welcome alpha,” and he dozed off.
Harry lay awake for a long time listening to Severus' soft breathing, their bond was calm again now and there was no pain. Harry had been both horrified and astounded by what his husband had been through. His strength, his determination and his endurance during the birth of the twins had been incredible. He was so proud of him, he had no words to adequately express his feelings about what the omega had done for him. He could feel Severus was exhausted but he was also happy. The love and contentment he had been used to feeling from his omega before the pregnancy, flowed between them again. He sighed and tightened his arms around the man he loved and closed his eyes.
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Penny arrived late the next morning to find Harry and Severus in the middle of a bottle feeding lesson. Alpha and Omega were sitting on the bed, Harry was feeding Henry and Severus was feeding Cedar. They had tried the other way but Cedar was having none of it, she wanted her papa and was very vocal about it. Angela, one of the midwives, was helping them to hold both baby and bottle correctly, so the twins could feed easily.
Penny smiled at the scene and took in the smile on Severus' face, she had not seen him smile like that since she agreed to trial his potion. It was lovely. Harry was also smiling; they were both laughing about their fierce little girl and her demands.
Penny cleared her throat and they both looked up. “Penny, hello,” Harry greeted. “Thank you for coming back, and for everything last night,” he said, warmly.
“It was my pleasure, thank you for having me there,” she said, moving to the other side of the bed to sit on the visitor's chair.
Henry finished his bottle first and the midwife moved to help Harry burp his son. Cedar finished not long after her brother and Severus copied what Harry had done with Henry. Once the twins were fed, burped and changed. Penny asked if they still wanted the charm performed. Severus replied in the affirmative and Harry nodded.
Angela went to collect the documents for recording the second genders and Penny cast the charm first on Henry and then on Cedar.
“You were right,” Harry gasped looking at his husband.
“Of course I was,” Severus said smugly. Harry, however, could see the relief in his omegas eyes and he too breathed a silent sigh of relief. Harry would have been happy no matter what, but Severus would have felt that he had failed in his job as an omega. Now, Harry had his heir and the Prince Lordship would once again pass to an omega’s alpha.
They stayed in the hospital for five days before they were allowed to take their babies home. Abigail wanted to be sure Severus was healing well from the birth and that his blood pressure was back to his pre-pregnancy rate. Penny wanted to be sure he was dealing with the hormonal changes and that there were no obvious signs of depression.
Harry was quietly glad they kept Severus in the hospital for those few days. It meant he could relax and enjoy learning how to change a nappy and bathe his children. He could focus on his family knowing the professionals were keeping an eye on Severus’ recovery.
Harry had sent out owls the day after the birth to inform everyone of the twin's arrival. Harry had been back and forth to their house several times to take home the baby clothes and toys gifted by their many visitors.
Narcissa came the first weekend with Draco and Hermione in tow. Severus suspected she was hoping the babies would inspire Hermione to give her a grandchild sooner rather than later. Narcissa promised she would come back and help them out for a while when they got home.
The day finally arrived Harry packed the bag they had brought with them and apparated home with it. While Severus, who for the past five days had only worn nightshirts and the large soft robe Morgan had given him, contemplated putting on trousers. He was not as sore as he had been but he was still a little uncomfortable down there and his usual trousers were not terribly forgiving.
Morgan once again came to his rescue, arriving with a pair of black soft cotton trousers with plenty of room in them and a dark green, long-sleeved tee shirt. She brushed off his objections by telling him he could pay her back, but it was important that he be comfortable and when he put them on and thanked her profusely. Abigail arranged for the hospital car again telling them it was no bother, they had cars specifically for their magical patients as most did not own their own cars.
Narcissa, who had been in touch daily since her first visit greeted them at the door of their home. The omega woman took charge of the bottles and formula carrying them all to the kitchen to ensure the bottles were properly sterilised before use and stored correctly.
Harry and Severus carried their sleeping children up to the nursery and put them into their own bassinets, which Narcissa, had very helpfully decorated with blue and pink linen.
Cedar, as was her want, opened her eyes and once she was certain she was in her papa’s arms, she looked around the room. Luckily she seemed to approve of her new space and settled down to sleep quickly. Henry snorted in his sleep but did not wake up. “That one is just like you alpha,” Severus said with a grin.
Harry could not dispute that not only did Henry have his green eyes, he ate and slept like Harry did too. Harry’s early life aside, since he had defeated the Dark Lord Harry slept like a log and ate like the normal teenage boy he had never been.
“I don’t think he is going to have black hair though,” Harry said looking down at the fine, soft hair on Henry’s head.
“No,” Severus agreed, coming over to stand with Harry, “I think it might be red,” he said.
Harry smiled “of course,” he whispered.
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The days passed quickly and there was a lot to do with newborn twins in the house. Abigail came once a week to check on Severus and weigh and measure the babies. Severus, who had hoped and prayed for some kind of omega miracle to happen and make him the perfect papa, found that most of it did come naturally to him.
He was not perfect but he was soon changing nappies and heating bottles without thinking too much about it. His instinct kicked in and it was rare that he did not know what to do, but on those few occasions when he faltered, Harry was there to help him.
Cedar was not much of a sleeper and Severus often found himself sitting with her in the rocking chair in the twin's room. He would sit at the window and show her the stars and tell her about the constellations. He could not wait to teach her and Henry about growing plants and herbs for potions and preparing ingredients. He would teach them to brew and write magic just as his mother did with him.
He looked down at his little girl, his omega daughter who would have all the advantages that he never had, she would never know the pain and fear her Papa had known. Cedar Emerald Rose would grow to be smart, confident and cunning. She would run rings around whichever alpha dared to try and love her but if he was worth it, she would love him fiercely.
Harry had smiled when Severus had voiced this to him.“Yes love, she is going to be just like her papa.” he replied fondly.
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The weather began to warm up as March turned into April and the twins had finally settled into a routine. Severus soon found he had time to spare again and so he started to think about his garden. He consulted with Narcissa as well as with a professional from the magical garden supply shop and he began to plan.
The elves from Potter Manor had dug the garden beds as Harry had promised they would so as Spring hit its stride Severus began planting his garden. He had never had his own garden, when he was a child his mother had grown a few herbs for the kitchen in their garden shed. She had a few others which were not for the kitchen, which she nurtured lovingly in her potions lab, but that was restricted to what could be grown in a cellar and without natural light. His father had never so much as looked at the door to her lab and it was only after Severus started Hogwarts that he recognised the the muggle repelling charms on the door.
Severus however was much more fortunate in his husband than his mother had been. He not only had a garden but a greenhouse which Harry had transfigured in place of the old garden shed. Under the close supervision of Narcissa, Cedar and Henry. Harry turned the entire garden shed into a magnificent T-shaped greenhouse with a twin-gabled roof, large double doors, an aluminium frame and clear wall glazing. It allowed plenty of room for Severus to move around and tend to the plants. There was a large workbench for repotting plants or preparing potion ingredients. There was also storage space for all his gardening tools.
The storage room which had stood next to the shed was converted to a potions lab. Severus did this conversion himself allowing only Draco and Morgan to help him. Harry was only allowed in to bring Cedar and Henry who were both very interested in proceedings.
In late May Minerva, Pomona and Neville came to visit and he proudly showed them his progress with his garden. He even took advice from both herbology teachers, much to Harry and Neville’s surprise.
Pomona also told Harry about what had happened with young Charles Fernby and his sister Charlotte. It turned out their parents, who had both been muggle-borns, had been killed in a raid carried out by some of the last Death Eaters to be captured after the war. The children had been raised by their elderly muggle grandmother and she had struggled to raise two magical children alone.
Charles had been withdrawn from muggle primary school after he accidentally sent a boy who had been bullying him flying across the playground. Charles’ grandmother had been unable to explain the situation. She could not guarantee it would not happen again so she withdrew him and tried to teach him at home.
Since Pomona’s enquiry, the Ministry had provided the family with the help they should have had in the first place. The children had been given a magical guardian and Charlotte was now enrolled at school and doing very well under the supervision of her guardian, who took care of any accidental magic.
Harry had been pleased that things had worked out for Charles and his sister but he could not help thinking that so often in the Magical World children were overlooked, or allowed to disappear through the many gaps in the system. It really was not good enough that muggle-born witches and wizards were not taught about magic until they arrived at Hogwarts. Severus had suggested a ministry task force that monitored underage and accidental magic. They could respond to situations which needed to be covered up and they could help families learn about magic in a safe and non-judgmental way. Harry thought that might not be a bad idea.
Harry had a long list of things he was going to start making a lot of noise about in the near future. He had stayed out of politics after the war, assigning his Wizengamot seats to a neutral faction with George Weasely as his proxy. He knew exactly how much power and influence he had given that he was Harry Potter and he not wanted to influence the rebuilding of the ministry, now things were running smoothly again he was ready to make some waves. Starting with the treatment of omegas, he now had a husband and a daughter to protect and would not stand for them being treated as less than an alpha because of their designation. George was already in possession of three fairly lengthy letters from Harry and he was looking forward to being the one to start the boat rocking.
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The potions lab was finally ready for Severus to begin experimenting in early June. He had done quite a lot of research during his pregnancy and he had a lot of ideas about how he could alter his antidepressant potion so it could be used to help omegas during pregnancy. Omegas like him and like Morgan, who was facing the prospect of a second difficult pregnancy in order to provide her husband with an heir to his title.
He discussed his many ideas with both Morgan and Penny and he began to experiment. The twins still took up a lot of time but while Harry was still home, he took the chance to spend every spare moment on the potion. The problem was the wormwood combined with the lacewing flies. Since Severus' original antidepressant had become available for healers to give to their patients, there had been a lot of interest from the medical community in further developing the potion for more specific uses.
Severus received a lot of correspondence about the potion and ideas from other Potion Masters for potential alterations. He had just begun his experiments when he received a letter from Master Felix Jensen, a Potions Master from the Magic Academy in Denmark. He had heard of Severus’ potion from Mathias, and he contacted him with some ideas about the wormwood and slowly things started to fall into place.
The wormwood was primarily used to aid in the digestion of the potion but it also played a role in stabilising bacteria in the gut. While the bacteria did not cause depression it often added to the symptoms and general misery associated with depression. There was some muggle literature linking gut health to depression. Felix suggested ginger as an alternative to wormwood. The muggle spice was not used much in potions but muggles often used it for nausea and it was considered to be safe for use during pregnancy. Severus rolled his eyes at his own short-sightedness, he himself had drunk gallons of ginger tea early in his pregnancy.
Finally, in the last week of July Severus stood over his cauldron and breathed deeply, as his new improved potion for depression in omegas, simmered gently under his steady hand. It was just the shade of blue he had wanted. Turning off the heat he summoned some parchment and sat at his table to write a few letters. The first one was addressed to Morgan.