Finding his rhythm
Severus leaned back on the lounge chair beside the pool and sighed happily. He had thought Harry would never let him out of his sight again once he knew about the baby but the alpha had surprised him. He had spoken with Minerva and arranged to take an extra week off so he could take Severus to Italy. It was perhaps a sign of just how concerned Minerva was about him that she had agreed to Harry’s request for an extra week of holidays. Harry could only stay for one week, but he had allowed Severus to stay on for another week - alone.
Severus knew Harry was not entirely happy with him being so far away, he had a suspicion that Penny had something to do with the change in Harry’s attitude. He was aware that Harry called Kirby to him every night for a report on what Severus had done all day and what he had eaten and if he had slept. None of that changed the fact that Severus felt better now than he had in the last month, he was free from the watchful eye of his alpha. He could sit by the pool, or curl up with a book in bed and there was no one to tell him to eat or sleep or go for a walk and he could pretend that there was not a little person growing inside him threatening his retirement. Alone in his own home for the first time since he learned he was pregnant, Severus finally felt like himself and not just an incubator for a child.
Severus still had bad days, days when he wished he had taken up Draco’s offer to find a clinic in Paris and escape from the demands and restrictions of the pregnancy. On the whole however he was beginning to come to terms with the idea. Life did not always go as planned Severus knew that all too well, but he had not wanted to mate with Harry at first either but that had turned out well enough. He wanted to give parenthood a try, he wanted to be good at it but he knew if he needed help then he could ask for it. It would be ok, just one more challenge but it would not be insurmountable he could do this, he would do this for Harry.
Penny had visited twice and they had talked about Severus' feelings about the pregnancy and the changes that it was bringing to his life. Penny had advised him to try some relaxation exercises to help with restful sleep and Severus tried them, Yoga made him feel like an idiot but the meditation exercises and his skill with occlumency seemed to help. Severus found most things were much easier to deal with when he was well-rested.
The baby would change things, he knew that was a given. He would be required to take care of the baby’s needs, such as bathing, dressing and feeding them for at least a short while. Poppy had advised him to try breastfeeding but had also told him that formula was fine if it didn’t work out. Harry had looked grim at that advice but he had not said anything. The alpha was trying very hard to step back and let Severus make the choices around this pregnancy, he hoped that would last after the child was born. A part of Severus hoped that some inbuilt omega instinct would magically kick in once the child was born and make everything easy and natural.
The trial of his potion would be starting the week after he returned home. Penny had asked him to come to Edinburgh and help with data collection and collation and he was excited that he could still be a part of it. He had feared he would miss out now he was having a baby, that he would be forced to let other people control his trial, his potion. He had put so much time and effort into it that he had been loathed to let it go. Thankfully Penny was willing to find ways to keep him involved. He was so happy he had even managed to do some research on ways to alter his potion to make it safer for omegas and pregnant people.
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Harry poured a drink and passed it to Draco, then poured another for himself.
“I can’t have a drink when Sev is here, it makes me feel guilty,” he commented.
“Hmmm,” Draco replied “It must be difficult for him, Uncle Sev has always been a stress drinker, a glass of whiskey got him through a lot of bad days over the years,” Draco said.
“You think he’s finding the pregnancy that bad?” Harry asked with a worried frown.
Draco shrugged “I don’t know for sure he hasn’t said that in so many words, but it has disrupted his plan for his life. Severus has had a lot of things disrupt his plans, most of the time for the worse until you came along,” He said, eyeing Harry closely.
Harry huffed “He told me that the first night I approached him, at the first meeting in Minerva’s office, he told me he didn’t want a baby alpha disrupting his life,” Harry recalled with a frown.
“Yet he mated with you anyway,” Draco reminded him.
“He did,” Harry said wistfully “Do you think he regrets it?” he asked quietly.
“No Harry, he loves you. He would never have mated with you otherwise. He will love this baby too, once he gets used to the idea and he can see that his plans are just on hold and not gone forever,” Draco replied.
Harry sighed “It’s a big disruption though, I mean after the baby is born they will need to be cared for, he won’t be able to go straight back to work,”
“Why not? I seem to recall the marriage contract allowing for him to have help with the children,” Draco demanded.
“With children yes, when they’re bigger but babies need…their…father,” He trailed off as he caught Draco’s glare.
“Well they do,” Harry finished with a growl.
“What about what Severus needs Harry, he’s only doing this for you, because of everything you did for him,” Draco demanded.
“I told him he didn’t have to birth children in the contract negotiations and afterwards too,” Harry argued.
“I know but this wasn’t exactly planned was it,” Draco returned.
Harry huffed “No it wasn’t, I forgot to do the charm. Penny warned me it could happen because of the potion testing and I forgot. It’s my fault he is having to go through his now,” Harry said sadly.
Draco reached out and put a hand on Harry’s arm “I offered him a way out. I told him I’d support him to go to a clinic if it wasn’t what he wanted. He told me in no uncertain terms he would not consider it. He wants to have your baby. He’s scared and the timing isn’t great, so it might take him a minute but he will deal with it. You know he struggles with depression Harry, he will need help to do this, can you give it to him?” Draco asked pointedly.
Harry moved to sit up straighter in his seat “Of course I can I am his alpha. I’ll give him whatever he needs,” he replied.
“You’re a good alpha Harry,” Draco said with a satisfied smile.
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Life seemed to settle down when Severus got back from Italy, he moved into the cottage without complaint and he apparated to Edinburgh twice a week to keep up with the trial data which he brought home to analyse. When he was at home he also researched alternatives to wormwood and lacewing flies, he needed something which would retain the properties of the potion without risk to a foetus. It was not an easy task so many things were untested and therefore too risky. He also spent time compiling his book of potions for omegas. He had even found a publisher who was interested in his idea.
In all things were going well he was keeping busy, and the baby was doing well. He had two elves from another Potter property to take care of the cooking and cleaning leaving him time to research and rest.
Poppy came and checked on him once a week and Abigail the midwife Poppy had recommended was also in regular contact. Severus spent most of his time on his work and very little time thinking about the baby who was growing steadily inside him. Harry had not wanted to know the sex of the baby, so Poppy had not told them at the eight-week check-up. However, as his 12-week check approached Severus realised he did want to know, he had also begun to notice some things which seemed strange. He found he got severe indigestion after meals and the ache in his back and his stomach seemed to be more intense. He had also started to notice a strange sensation in his abdomen which felt like butterflies so he sent an owl to Poppy and asked her to come a day earlier, she replied she would be there that afternoon.
Harry noticed Poppy heading out towards Hogsmeade. It didn’t automatically mean she was going to see Severus he thought to himself, she might just be going out for tea. Severus would tell him if anything was wrong he was certain of that and they had a checkup scheduled for the next day. Harry took a breath and went to the office to do some grading.
Poppy arrived at the Cottage at 3:00 just in time for tea. Severus called for the elf whose name was Colly and asked for tea and cakes.
Poppy regarded the omega he was looking much better since he came back from Italy. He seemed much happier as well, though she had noticed he still did not like to be asked how he was feeling and he didn’t make reference to the pregnancy outside of checkups.
“Is everything alright Severus,” Poppy asked cautiously.
“I think so, I did have a couple of things to ask you if that’s alright,” He told her as he poured tea.
“We have a checkup scheduled for tomorrow,” Poppy reminded him.
“I know but Harry will fuss if he thinks I am not across everything. I am an omega I am supposed to know everything about…this pregnancy,” he said his nose wrinkling in distaste.
“You are not supposed to know everything, this is your first time. Most Omgeas know little about it until they experience it. Now, what are you worried about?” Poppy asked as she accepted her tea from the omega.
“It’s probably nothing, but I am feeling very uncomfortable I get cramps that are not nausea and they are not like the others I have had, my back hurts and I am getting a strange tickling feeling in my abdomen,” Severus told her, with a sigh.
Poppy nodded in understanding “Humm, I don’t think that it is anything to worry about, but might I just do one quick check,” she told the omega who was clearly more concerned than he was willing to show.
“Of course,” he replied.
“Lie back on the couch for me and lift up your shirt, I will have to touch you if that’s alright,” she told him.
“If you must,” he replied.
Poppy placed her hand on either side of Severus’ abdomen, he felt a tingle of magic and then Poppy let out a breath.
“Well, there is nothing wrong per se, my guess is the discomfort you are feeling is your body stretching to accommodate your…well…your babies. Severus, you are having twins,” she told him as gently as she could.
Severus froze for a moment then he began to breathe as Penny had taught him to when he started to panic. Poppy let him breathe while she kept a check on his blood pressure.
“Twins, two of them?” the omega finally got out.
“Yes, my dear will you be alright?” Poppy asked concerned.
“I…of course. Can you tell me if are they, boys or girls? Harry doesn’t want to know but that’s the other reason I asked you here today because I do want to know.” the omega said still focusing on his breathing.
Poppy nodded “You are having one of each a boy and a girl,” Poppy told him.
Severus nodded “Hmm and we have to wait until they are born to know about the second gender,” he asked. He knew the answer full well he just needed to hear it said out loud.
“Yes we do, I cannot cast the charm but Penny can, and so can Abigail, one of them will do it for you,” Poppy reassured him. “But you know Harry won’t mind, whatever happens,”
Severus nodded he knew the alpha would not mind but there were the Lordships to consider Harry needed heirs and a male alpha for preference.
“Thank you, Poppy, I will let Harry know about your visit and well I will tell him what he needs to know. He worries enough about me,” Severus told her.
Poppy nodded “You know I shouldn’t be keeping things from him, Severus,” she warned him. If he asks directly I cannot lie to him.
“He won’t ask you, but if he does you can tell him to speak to me. It is in our marriage contract that I can consult with a medical practitioner without him present but I have to tell him why and what the result was, I promise you won’t be in trouble, Poppy,” Severus reassured her.
The mediwitch scoffed “That is the least of it Severus, you can’t keep him in the dark, they are his children too and he is your alpha,”
“I am not keeping him in the dark he will know when I tell him,” Severus returned stiffly.
“Very well, I best be heading back, I will see you tomorrow,” she said with a sigh.
“Thank you, Poppy,”
Poppy elected to walk back to the school as she walked she reflected. Severus had always been a difficult man and this had undoubtedly been a shock for him but she couldn’t help but think he had been smart in asking her to come down today. He was right Harry already worried too much and the near panic attack Severus had on hearing about the twins would have worried him further. She herself was worried for the man she knew only too well had never wanted children.
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Harry reread the paper he was grading, he had read this particular student’s paper three times. The work showed a good understanding of the topic once he had deciphered the awful handwriting and the spelling and grammatical errors. It was almost as if this child had never been taught to read or write but had picked up enough to get by and Harry couldn’t help but think of himself in his first year.
The Dursleys had never bothered with reading to Harry or playing word games with him as a young child, so when he started at muggle school he needed extra help. One of the teaching assistants had sat with him every day in his first year of school to catch him up. He had managed to pick up enough to get by but it was not until he got to Hogwarts and met Hermione he really learned how to spell properly and structure a sentence. If it had not been for Hermione Harry knew he would probably still struggle with basic English.
He looked at the name on top of the page Charles Fernsby was the boy’s name he was a muggle-born and that always made Harry’s spidey sense tingle. Muggleborns who struggled with basic concepts worried him, reading to children was widely encouraged throughout the muggle world and Harry was under the impression that most muggle parents, did at the very least, read to their children. Charles’ was in Hufflepuff and so he did not know much about the boys living situation but he did know Charles had a sister Charlotte who was younger than him. He put the paper aside and decided to bring it up at the staff meeting. He had always thought Hogwarts needed to employ English tutors and it would not be the first time he raised the issue.
He went back to correcting the papers on his desk he was not sure how long he had been working but it was quite late by the time he was finished. He collected Charles’ paper and left his office heading down to the dungeon even though Severus had left Hogwarts the dungeon room was still open to him and he like to use it, it still smelled like the omega.
The portrait guarding the door was now a snake. Harry had commissioned it, so he could use parseltongue for the password. When he stepped into the room he was surprised to see Severus sitting on the sofa drinking tea, a warm smile lit his face at the sight. Severus rarely came to the school he was not allowed to use the floo and walking meant he might run into people who wanted to ask questions Severus considered impertinent. It had taken an embarrassingly long while before Harry realised how much Severus hated to be constantly asked how he was feeling.
“Hello love,” Harry said, “this is a wonderful surprise, what brings you here?”
“Hello, Alpha, I called Abigail she said I am still allowed to apparate for a few more months and I felt I should come. No doubt, by now some nosey colleague has told you Poppy left the grounds headed for Hogsmeade this afternoon. I didn’t want you to worry about me unnecessarily, at least not any more than you usually do,” Severus said dryly
Harry moved over and sat down next to his husband and took his hand “I saw her leave the castle, she rarely leaves the castle,” he said gently.
“Hmmm well, she did come to see me. I called her and invited her for tea, I had a question for her,” Severus told him.
“One that couldn’t wait until tomorrow?” Harry asked cautiously.
“One I needed to ask without you present. I wanted to know the sex of the baby and you do not,” Severus told him firmly.
“Oh, I see, so you know,” Harry asked a glint in his eyes.
“I do, but Poppy also told me something else as well,” Severus said slowly
“Oh, what is that?” Harry asked a worried look back on his face.
“It’s something that…was unexpected and it took a moment for me to deal with it but I am ok now and I wanted to tell you before tomorrow. You see alpha I am having twins,” Severus told him.
“Twins?” Harry looked stunned.
“Yes alpha,” Severus replied calmly.
“Oh, and you’re ok with that?” Harry asked gently, though Severus could see him bursting with pride and he smiled at the alpha’s expression.
“I hardly have a choice Harry, but yes I think I am and hopefully, one of them will be your alpha male and we will be all set for children,” the omega replied.
“So at least one of them is a boy huh?” Harry asked with a knowing smirk.
“At least,” Severus confirmed.
“This is wonderful news, Severus, I am so happy, are you happy?” Harry asked softly.
“I...I am happy I can do this for you Harry, but I do worry about how I will manage and what this will mean for…me and my plans,” Severus told him. It was the first time he had expressed these worries to Harry he hoped the alpha would not be upset with him.
Harry breathed a soft sigh of relief that finally, Severus was talking to him about his concerns. Penny had advised him to wait for Severus to bring up his worries, she has assured him that the omega would do so when he was ready and he had been waiting patiently but the longer it took the harder it was to be patient.
“You won’t be alone my love, we have elves, you have Narcissa and if need be I will hire a nanny,” Harry told him.
“A nanny?” Severus asked with a raised eyebrow.
“Yes, don’t wizards have nannies? Muggles have them, they hire someone to live in their house and take care of their children. I am sure we could find someone suitable,” Harry said carefully.
“I suppose that might be possible, as you say I will have Narcissa and the elves,” Severus replied. He was not at all sure about having a strange witch or wizard in his house, he would have to think about it.
“I want you to be happy Severus, I will quit my job and come home if you need me to,” Harry told him. He raised the hand he was holding and kissed the palm.
“I know Harry but I will not ask that of you. I was getting used to the idea of a baby, and well I suppose two of them now,” Severus whispered. “We will need another house though,”
“I can arrange that,” Harry told him and he moved in to take his husband in his arms and kissed him. “Stay tonight?”
“Yes alpha, that would nice,” Severus replied moving to lean against his alpha. It had been too long since they had sat like this together. Too long since Severus had felt enough like himself to desire it and he had missed his husband. He hoped this was a sign of better things to come.