Biggest Fears
"I heard you got attacked in the woods by poachers." Mug said as he waited behind her in line during DATDA.
"How did you know about that?" Alice whispered back, "I'm not supposed to tell anyone."
"My dad told me."
"Well, you better not tell anyone!" Alice whispered.
"And get dad sacked, bloody likely." Mug said as the boggart before Ruby transformed into a spider, "Not to mention my older sister's got a thing for Lysander and he told her all about the whole thing."
Alice almost slipped on her heel as they moved forward. The boggart they were practicing on was squished by a giant clown shoe.
"You alright Alice?" Mug asked as he laughed.
"Yeah, just slipped that's all." Alice said as she moved forward. "I didn't know you had a sister."
"Oh yeah, Rosemarie was in Lysander's year. Ravenclaw, kept to herself mostly." Mug explained, "She's apparently had a thing for him for years. She even stops by Ollivander's place to bring him coffee. It's gross her infatuation."
"Oh." Alice said nervously. She wasn't sure why the sound of Lysander's heartbeat rang through her ears but she could.
"That's the quietest reaction you've ever had to anything Alice." Mug crossed his arms.
"I just have nothing to say about it, that's all. Lysander's always told me when he fancies someone before." Alice said as she stepped forward, it was almost her turn.
"He can't have always said something." Mug laughed.
"He even told me when he fancied my sister, of course he'd have said something about your sister." Alice rolled her eyes, wondering why it bothered her at all. "Is she pretty?"
"In a sister sort of way I suppose." Mug coughed.
"I just can't believe he wouldn't have told me."
"Longbottom!" Professor Temperance called back to her, "Enough chatter, other students are trying to focus."
Alice slammed her mouth shut, she did need to focus. Her family had all defeated their boggarts, why would she be any different?
She worried what she'd see the boggart become. She'd never given it a real thought about what scared her most. There were many things that scared her.
"Miss Longbottom!" Called Professor Temperance.
Alice realized she was at the front of the line.
She couldn't do it.
Whatever it was about to change into, she feared it wouldn't make sense.
It transformed into something she hadn't expected at all. Not anything she'd considered fearing.
There were chills up her spine and the room felt cold as everything around her went black. She couldn't see anything, or hear anyone, it was just darkness.
She could feel her wand shaking in her hands.
A cold sweat broke across her forehead.
She was alone.
Completely alone.
"Ri-ri."
She couldn't think of anything funny.
Nothing to make light of this situation.
How could being alone be funny?
"Rid-d-d-di-"
"Ridikkulus." Shouted Professor Temperance at the same moment the darkness faded and Alice instead saw a bodiless leg with blood before her. The leg transformed into a pogo stick and Alice noticed Professor Temperance standing before her.
"Alright Longbottom?"
"I-" Alice didn't want to admit she'd been too scared to do the spell, "I forgot the spell."
"Disappointing Longbottom." Professor Temperance said as she shook her head, "Maybe if you paid attention instead of talking, you'd have remembered."
Alice didn't realize the tears were falling until her classmates' laughter surrounded her.
After class Alice retreated into one of the castle corridors and just let the tears fall. Her throat was tight and she didn't want to continue with her day if this was how it was going to feel all day. She slumped into a ball and tried to ignore the giggles and whispers around her.
"Don't you have Quidditch Practice?" Mug asked as he stopped above her.
Alice nodded as she wiped her eyes, "How'd you know that?"
"Well because my team had to push back our practice for Gryffindor." Mug shrugged.
"Oh yeah."
"You ok?" Mug asked. "I know Professor Temperance was harsh, but you can always try again another day."
"I just didn't want anyone to know that I chickened out and I got scared." Alice wiped her nose. "I normally don't get scared."
"Everyone gets scared." Mug insisted.
Alice explained, "Minnie did that spell perfectly her first time, so did my dad and mum. Great Gran fought one last-"
"Your Grandmother, your mum's mum, didn't she struggle with her boggart?" Mug asked pulling a handkerchief from his pocket.
Alice took the handkerchief. "How'd you-"
"I read that book your mum wrote about her, wicked rough stuff." Mug said with a shrug.
"I thought you didn't like mum's writing."
Mug's lips twisted, "I didn't mind that one."
Alice smiled back, feeling slightly better.
"You still don't have to live up to any of that you know?" Mug asked as he sat down beside her. "I don't try to live up to my family."
"I'm not trying to live up to anything." Alice insisted before wiping her eyes with his handkerchief.
Mug leaned back against the wall, "Sure."
"I'm just feeling rather like a failure lately, and I suppose that didn't help." Alice admitted handing him back his handkerchief.
"You aren't a failure Longbottom." He laughed now stuffing the handkerchief back into his pocket.
"Thanks Mug." Alice said with a small nudge to his shoulder.
"But you will be in two weeks when Hufflepuff kicks Gryffindor out of the sky." Mug joked.
Alice laughed along, "Nobody is kicking me out of the sky."
"We will if you don't get to practice." Mug chuckled before helping Alice stand up.
Alice grabbed her book bag, "Then I better get there."
Alice made her way to the Quidditch prep room. Even with her outburst, she found herself early.
She changed into her things and began tying her laces. Flying did have a way of making her feel better. After practice she'd have a Gazette meeting, then she'd pick up Dusty from Hagrid's and she could rest for the evening.
"Hey there Alice." Hector greeted as he entered the room. His hair was slightly tussled, she could tell he'd quickly changed into his Quidditch robes. He had a few buttons still undone.
In the grand scheme of things, she'd forgotten he'd even kissed her. She supposed there had been slightly more pressing issues that night. It had been a very nice kiss and his lips had been very soft.
"Hello Hector." Alice said feeling her cheeks become warm as she remembered his strong hands on her arms.
"How is the prettiest girl in Hogwarts?" Hector asked sitting beside her.
"You are just being cheeky." Alice responded after she finished lacing her boots.
"Not in the slightest." He insisted touching under her chin. "You really are."
Alice giggled a little, "Well to answer your question, I'm a little tired so hopefully Josie doesn't kick us too hard today."
He laughed before taking her hand, "She probably will."
Alice's heart jumped into her throat as he held her hand.
"Maybe after practice we could do something." He suggested moving closer to her. "I don't have class this evening."
"I don't either, but I've got a Gazette meeting." Alice explained. "And I'm supposed to stay after and help Charles with his article about the first game."
"Oh come on, can't you skip?" He asked taking his other hand and touching her face.
"I can't of course, I've never skipped a meeting ever." Alice said but enjoyed feeling his hand. She understood he was trying to kiss her again.
"Can't I convince you?" He asked before doing what she suspected he was going to do. He kissed her again. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer.
The only thing that stopped the tryst she'd found herself in, was the sound of Josie clearing her throat.
Alice knew she did not want to be on Josie's level of exhibition so she pushed against Hector.
Josie's demeanor looked tense, her shoulders had gravitated towards her ears.
"Sorry Josie." Alice said, not sure why she was the one apologizing when Hector was the one who'd initiated the whole thing.
"We thought we were alone." Hector qualified keeping his arm around Alice's shoulder.
"Whatever, just don't let it ruin the team." Josie rolled her eyes as she went to her locker and pulled out her shoulder pads. "Don't you need to do your weird yogi stretch thing Longbottom?"
Alice nodded, pulling herself fully from Hector's grasp. At least it had been Josie who had caught them, she'd tell Lorcan for sure.
"Later?" Hector asked as she stood and began her sun salutation. "I'll meet you behind the bleachers."
Alice couldn't see the harm in skipping a single Gazette meeting. She'd had a pretty hard day anyway. A bit of real snogging could cheer her up.
"I can maybe manage." Alice said throwing in a wink.
It was pretty easy to meet him after practice and she found she enjoyed her first real bit of snogging. She didn't enjoy that his hands seemed to go everywhere and she had a difficult time keeping track of their whereabouts. She'd be having a nicer time if she didn't have to worry about all of that. He never attempted anything inappropriate but she worried he would.
Her lips were also exceptionally chapped feeling and she couldn't stand how sweaty they both had become.
Alice tried to keep an eye on the time, she would need to pick up Dusty soon.
Alice began to pull away from him and whispered, "I've got to go, for real."
"Oh come on Alice." He whispered back, pulling her closer again.
"I mean it, I've got to go pick up Dusty." Alice pushed him off this time, slightly with more force.
Hector groaned but backed up, "That's a shame."
"Well I do." Alice picked up her bag and things quickly. "Maybe we could meet up again sometime."
"Maybe that'd be nice." He laughed, "Alice, would you consider being my girlfriend?"
Alice had never considered anyone would actually ask her that. She also hadn't considered Hector wanting more than just someone to snog.
"Um-" Alice hesitated, "I mean maybe."
"Maybe?" He asked stepping closer to her again.
He pulled her back in to kiss her and before she could push him off again she heard, "Lissy?"
Alice looked back to see her sister, who had pulled back the long drapery of the pitch.
"Merlin's pants Liss." Minnie exclaimed before narrowing her eyebrows at Hector, "And Owens?"
"What Minnie?" Alice said, now fully pushing Hector off of her.
"You missed the Gazette meeting and no one could find you!" Minnie exclaimed. Her eyes were wide but the twinge of yellow stuck to her skin, "And after what happened we were all worried something had happened."
"Oh she was just with me." Hector said gruffly.
"I can see that." Minnie shrugged with a flip of her head. "You should go and collect Dusty."
Alice nodded and found leaving Hector's arms much easier than before.
Minnie didn't bring up the situation the rest of the evening. No one did, except Hector, who seemed relatively insistent he sit beside her at lunch.
Duke flew across the Great Hall after lunch was over, carrying a note for Alice from her parents. Dusty ducked back into her pocket as he arrived. She was back to ignoring him again.
The note asked her to go and visit her parents in their room.
Their room was adjacent to her father's office and Alice found the walk highly disparaging. She was surely in trouble.
She opened the door to her father's office. Her father sat on his desk, fixing a tie around his neck. He was wearing his black dress robes and had his gold Order Of Merlin medallion pinned to his chest.
"There's my Little Terror." He smiled, making Alice feel less nervous.
"You look very handsome dad." Alice remarked, "Where are you off to?"
"It's the Order of Merlin Banquet tonight." Her father said before putting his hands on Alice's shoulders. "Nasty business if I'm honest, your mother hates going."
"You can't convince me you like this dull affair." Her mother's voice came from their room.
Her father chuckled, "I hate going just as much as you do Sam, but we did make the decision to accept the honors years ago."
"I was coerced if you don't remember." Her mother shouted back, "It was one of the worst days of my life."
"You were beautiful the day you accepted." He answered back, "I remember."
"It was when I was still breaking your heart." Her mother called back, "So I wasn't beautiful."
Alice walked with her father into their room.
Her mother was seated at her vanity putting on a pair of silver earrings. She was wearing a simple velvet gown with a scarlet sash.
"Am I in trouble?" Alice asked.
"No sweetheart, well a little, but-" Her mother rolled her eyes. "We just wanted to talk to you before we left this afternoon."
"Is it about me missing the meeting yesterday?" Alice asked as she sat down in an arm chair.
"And how instead you were found snogging Hector Owens? You were lucky you were caught by Minerva and not someone else." Her mum asked and Alice could see a tiny trace of concern on her face.
"So I am in trouble?" Alice asked feeling her lip curl.
"If I had my way Hector would be losing more than just points for Gryffindor, but your mother said I wasn't allowed to threaten that." Her father almost laughed. "But you aren't in big trouble you Little Terror. We just wanted to ask about the situation."
"Oh, well he asked me to meet him after Quidditch and before the meeting and I didn't notice the time." Alice said, the thoughts of their snogging still fresh in her mind. "I'm honestly not sure what to think about it, I certainly didn't intend to be there that long."
"What happened to Jonah?" Her dad inquired as he again fixed the bow tie around his neck.
"Beatrice fancied him longer and he wasn't my type." Alice shrugged a little.
"But Hector is?" Her mother now raising her eyebrow as she fixed her braided crown. "He's got a bit of a reputation you know?"
"You are one to talk." Her dad laughed as he fixed his cufflinks.
"My reputation is mostly fictitious." Her mother said with a small tilt of her head, "Mostly."
"What was true?" Her father asked before raising his hand, "Take that back, I think I don't want to know."
"Good idea." Her mother said now fixing her sash, "Because you don't. However Alice, I just want you to be careful with boys like him. I mean he already convinced you to skip a Gazette meeting."
"Oh, because those are the most important thing in the world?" Alice said without thinking. She realized she'd been slightly more sarcastic than she'd meant. She could feel her eyes roll back into her head. "Just because you've never missed a meeting in your entire life doesn't mean I have to live up to the great Samantha Fyre."
"Alice Eidan Longbottom!" Her father snapped looking up from his paper. "You are not allowed to talk to your mother that way."
Her mother fixed her collar, seeming unbothered by the words, but Alice regretted them as her mum's eyes drifted downward.
"Apologize to your mother." Her father continued with a stern voice.
"Sorry mum." Alice said shifting in her chair.
"I have never said you or Minerva had to join the Gazette." Her mother said, her tone softer than Alice's father had been. "But I have always asked you stick to your commitments. You committed to the Gazette, it is inappropriate to your team. If you don't want to write for them, or be Sport's Editor it is appropriate to give at least a month's notice to train a successor."
"I understand mum, I don't want to quit." Alice said feeling Dusty move in her pocket.
"It would be understandable if you did, you are a busy young woman, but what I was trying to say before you cut me off-" Her mother turned and shot a look to Alice's father, "was if he can convince you to skip an activity, what else can he convince you to do? You don't want to be pushed into things you aren't ready for."
"Muuuum." Alice groaned and leaned back as she realized what her mother meant, "I don't think anyone could convince me to do anything I didn't want to do."
"Your mother is right though." Her father said, his cheeks had turned a ghastly white. "We are just warning you to be careful."
"I am careful." Alice groaned again. "We were just snogging. I don't understand the big fuss. You don't give Minnie this much grief and who knows what she and Cas get up to."
"Alice!" Her father again snapped. "This isn't about your sister, this is about you."
"Oh because I'm not Minnie, I'm in trouble?" Alice asked feeling the spite flowing from her words. She wasn't sure if it was her exhaustion, stress, or even the boggart's lasting effects, but she wasn't sure she liked who was speaking.
"No." Her mother said softly.
"She didn't tell anyone she was investigating those disappearances and she let a literal raving lunatic who wanted revenge on you into the castle!" Alice felt her voice get louder. "She isn't being interrogated about her love life now is she? I mean he literally helped her let the raving lunatic into the castle!"
"How is that any different to hiding Freya's visits from us?" Her father asked.
"Because Freya isn't hurting anyone!" Alice defended, "She saved my life and Lysander's!"
"That's enough!" Her father now yelled.
"Or what?" Alice asked standing up. "You will give me detention? Take me off the Quidditch team or the Gazette? You can't take anything away from me that you couldn't take from any other student here! I never know if you are my parents or my teachers or if you even care!"
"Dusty is to stay with Hagrid for the next week." Her mother said standing up from her vanity. The sash around her waist draped itself over the back of her chair.
It was like being plunged into suffocating water.
"And you are not to visit her. I will bring Duke down and continue their sessions, but you are not to join us."
"What?" Alice asked.
"Having a dragon is an adult responsibility." Her mother informed as she reached out her hand. "You are reacting to your father and I trying to have an adult conversation with you, like a petulant child."
"I hate you." Alice's tongue lashed.
"I will take her down to Hagrid's immediately while Duke is still out on his errand. It may be safer for her and you considering the poacher's recent attack." Her mother's hand remained unmoved and unshaken.
Alice reached into her pocket and let Dusty climb around her wrist, "I won't do it!"
"If you do not hand her over, I will add another week." Her mother raised her chin, "I mean it Alice."
Alice pulled Dusty out of her pocket. Dusty jumped onto her mother's palm as if she personally could not feel the tension in the room.
"I hate you." Alice lashed again.
"Go to your dormitory Alice." Her mother instructed.
Alice looked back to her father, who's eyes avoided her gaze.
Alice's body began to shake with anger. "I hate you both."
Dusty's cries filled the hallways as Alice left her parent's room.
"I hate you!" Alice yelled back to the shut door.
As she left for the common room, the hot tears stung her eyes as she cried.