A second chance at life

The men were all sitting in the room they turned into their TV room, when they heard the floo roar. James went to check who came while Sirius paused the movie with a dramatic sigh.

"James!" They heard Professor McGonagall's voice. "James, I'm so glad to see you. And I'm so happy Harry is getting to know you now."

"Thank you, professor," replied James awkwardly and walked McGonagall to the TV room.

Sirius stood with a wide grin.

"Minnie, so good to see you."

Professor McGonagall rolled her eyes.

"I'm here to ask what are you three doing here instead of Hogwarts," she said to Remus, knowing he's the one she'll get a mature answer from. Remus hesitated, and Harry intervened.

"I was having a hard time getting used to this... this new reality."

James sat back next to him and hugged his shoulders.

"I need a few days here. Remus will still come for his classes," Harry promised.

Professor McGonagall sighed.

"I'm sorry you're having a hard time," she said sincerely. "Take all the time you want. You deserve it." She suddenly noticed Regulus and walked towards him.

Regulus stood up and shook her hand.

"Welcome back, Mr. Black," said Minerva.

"Thank you, Professor," answered Regulus confidently, surprising his friends.

Regulus returned to his spot by Sirius as Harry disappeared from the room, and came back a minute later with the pensieve from next to the fireplace.

"Use it well," professor McGonagall said as she walked back to the living room. She paused suddenly. "Is there anything else you need?" She asked Harry, seeing how he's debating if to say something or not.

"I just... I was wondering why you gave Dumbledore his old position back. Everyone knows what he did, why would you give him a powerful position? He might take advantage of it again."

Professor McGonagall nodded.

"We had a meeting at the Ministry that day," she informed him. "Most of the people there had people they wanted to reunite with, but the meeting was really important. Since the war you have been involved in everything as one of the most important people in our world, but this time we decided that at the end of the day you're still a child, and you deserve time with your family."

Harry blinked, surprised, and professor McGonagall continued:

"We discussed what to do with Dumbledore. Up until the war Albus pretended to be The Leader Of The Light because it gave him power, and now he lost everything. We all know his secrets. The problem is that he's still powerful enough to be the next dark lord. We clearly don't want him to do that, so like you said we can't have him in a powerful position, but we also can't let him walk away, because he'll start working on a plan. We decided to bring him back so that he feels like he has a certain amount of power, and I can keep an eye on him. If I see he's up to something we'll get him."

Harry hugged his knees.

"That makes sense," he said. "But he's REALLY dangerous. He's not only powerful, he's also able to learn from Voldemort's mistakes and not make them too. And there is a thing we still didn't understand about his plan..."

"Why he asked Snape to kill him. Yes, I remember. I hope we'll find out soon."

Sirius walked to professor McGonagall again and hugged her.

"We'll see you in the castle, Minnie," he patted her back.

Professor McGonagall smiled slightly.

"Where's Lily?" She finally realized what was missing.

All the smiles in the room disappeared.

"She's not here," Sirius was the first to find his voice. "She's with her friends for a while."

Professor McGonagall thought for a moment.

"Did she say when she's coming back?" She asked.

Sirius shook his head.

"Has she contacted you since she left?" Professor McGonagall continued.

Sirius shook his head again and professor McGonagall sighed.

"She's overwhelmed," she guessed. "Where is she staying?"

"Marlene," James answered. "McKinnon. I think she's rethinking our relationship," he got tired of beating around the bush. "She wanted someone and I was the easiest option since I was in love with her from day one. Assuming she didn't want Severus because she didn't want to be killed."

"I'm going to them now," decided professor McGonagall. "I anyway want to see everyone. While I'm there I'll try and find out what her plans are."

James sniffled.

"Thank you so much, professor," he whispered.

Minerva walked over to James and he got to his feet, nervous.

"James," she said softly. "I understand this is hard on you, but I'm not letting you stop being you. You are not to call me Professor, and stop treating me like a stranger. Get yourself together. You're better than this, I think Prongs proves it."

James sat back down, staring at her, and she chuckled.

"Did you really think I didn't connect the dots between the ridiculous new nicknames, you walking around with mandrake leaves in your mouths for a month, and the animals that started hanging out in the school grounds?"

Remus shook his head.

"Yeah, no, actually, we didn't expect you to know and not punish us."

Professor McGonagall gave him a soft look.

"I figured they did it so that they could be with you on the moons. Am I wrong?"

The guys shook their heads silently.

"So you also knew how Sirius escaped Azkaban, no?" Asked Harry.

"Indeed."

Another moment of stunned silence.

"I... I don't get it," stammered Sirius.

"I knew you boys better than your own parents," explained professor McGonagall calmly. "There was no way on earth that Sirius would betray James. I didn't know what exactly happened, but I knew it wasn't him."

Sirius started crying. He just slumped back in his seat and burst into tears.

"You... you're the only person that believed me... trusted me," he sobbed. "Why didn't you do anything to get me a trial?"

Minerva swallowed.

"I tried, but Albus told me he has more information about you," she answered honestly. "I still didn't believe it, but I couldn't do anything. I'm sorry, Sirius."

Harry walked to Sirius and hugged him.

"Dumbledore also made Moony not trust you," he reminded Sirius. "We don't know how many people blamed you only because of the old fucking son of a bitch."

Sirius took a deep breath.

"You're right," he said. "Sorry about that. Thank you for trusting me, Minnie."

Professor McGonagall smiled at him.

"I'll see you around, boys."

James stood.

"Can't wait to see you, Minnie," he said, smirking.

Minerva patted his shoulder.

"There's my boy."

She left and Harry started laughing.

"Bro, you always thought you were so cool that you tricked professor McGonagall. She literally played you."

Remus chuckled, Sirius pouted, and James stuck his tongue out at Harry.

"Professors aren't supposed to have favorites," said Regulus suddenly. "And she's the number one teacher to be super professional."

Remus shrugged.

"She was really worried about me not fitting in," he said quietly. "She was really happy when I became close friends with them, and as strict as she is, I think she was like us when she was little. yeah, she would punish us, but she loved us, and found our pranks hilarious."

"Are we starting with the memories?" James asked.

Sirius shook his head.

"I think it's better to wait to hear what Lily has to say," he said.

James swallowed, nodding. Harry lay his head on his father's shoulder.

"Let's continue the movie," he suggested.

Sirius un-paused the movie and they got into it, trying to forget about their fucked up insane situation. Around two hours later they heard the floo again.

"James," Professor McGonagall walked in, looking old and tired.

James closed his eyes for a long moment.

"She's not coming back, is she?" He asked conversationally.

Minerva shook her head.

"She said that the one day she was with you after you came back she tried to give you space so that she has her own time, but she really doesn't think she wants you guys in her life," she heaved a sigh. "Like you said- she wanted someone from our side of the fight and you were the safest option. She..." Minerva looked truly pained. "She got in touch with Severus again."

They stared at her, not understanding the last part.

"She... she wants Snape?" Choked Harry.

He looked at James and saw him clutching Regulus' hand with tears in his eyes.

"I was her sex doll," his voice trembled. "She just wanted someone available."

Professor McGonagall walked closer and kneeled by the couch.

"Hey, James," she said softly. "I'm so sorry about that. I really am. But would you take a deep breath for me?"

James took a shuddering breath.

"Amazing. Thank you. Now, do you really think you would want the rest of your life to be with Lily?"

James thought for a few seconds, and his eyes widened.

"I... I don't know," he mumbled, terrified. "What's wrong with me?"

Professor McGonagall patted his knee.

"She was your first crush. That's always a one that you always have a warm spot for, so when she wanted you, you were happy. Especially when you always pretended you were still crushing on her. Problem is, an eleven years old's idea of the girl he wants, isn't the actual one future him wants."

A few seconds passed and James' silence started concerning the others.

"Are you okay, Dad?" Harry asked uncertainly.

James swallowed.

"It's so true that it hurts," he answered. "So, whenever she cursed Snivellus out it was an act. She... she fucking loves him," his voice broke. "She was using me."

Professor McGonagall got up and threaded her fingers through his hair.

"I'm going to leave now," she said apologetically. "But I want you to know your friends love you. I love you."

The second she was out James got up and ran upstairs.

"Dad," Harry tried calling, but James didn't stop.

Sirius started going after him but was hit with a wandless petrificus totalus, and fell hard on the floor. Regulus ran to help him up while Remus sighed and apparated upstairs, waiting for James in his room. James started crying when he saw him.

"I want to be alone a little, please," he begged.

Remus walked towards the door.

"We'll be in the living room," he said quietly

James collapsed on the bed, staring at the ceiling. He stopped crying, and just lay there, apathetic.

♤♤♤

Sirius stood up slowly, stretching his stiff limbs.

"That was fun," he smiled forcefully. "Thanks for helping me, bro."

Regulus nodded.

"What are your thoughts about all this, Harry?" He turned to the boy.

Harry curled in on himself.

"I... I don't get what's going on," he said, tearing up. "Why would Lily want Snape, that doesn't make sense. Why won't she love Dad? He's a million times better than Snape. I really think it's a really bad prank, I don't even know who's playing."

Sirius sat next to his godson.

"I'm sorry, love," he said. "I wish you were right. But if you just look at the facts, what actually doesn't make sense is the fact she ended up with your father."

Harry sniffled quietly.

"Can I go up to him?" He asked.

"We should wait for Moony. He'll tell us if we should or not."

Regulus sat on Harry's other side.

"I think I can hear Moony coming down the stairs," he said.

Moony appeared in the living room, sad looking.

"We should give him some time," he sighed.

Sirius stood.

"I'm going to sleep," he announced. "This is way too much."

Harry grabbed his arm.

"Stay here. We need to be here when he comes."

The four sat on the couch and watched the time pass in the tempo spell Remus cast. At some point Regulus went to the kitchen to prepare dinner.

"Dinner's ready," he called when he was done.

They went to the dining room and ate in silence.

"What do you think Marlene and Dorcas are thinking now?" Sirius asked suddenly.

Remus shrugged.

"I think we should really get in touch with them. Maybe James wants to be by himself because he's sick of being with the same four people all day long. Maybe if someone else comes he'll open up."

Harry sighed.

"I'm going to him," he announced. "I don't care what he says."

The three others watched as he walked to the stairs, determined.

"Dad?" Harry called, walking into the room. James didn't respond. Harry lay next to him on the bed quietly.

"You don't need to talk or anything. Just let me be here," he whispered.

James pulled him closer silently.

"I'm OK," he promised. "I just need time."

Twenty minutes later James sat up.

"Thanks for coming," he said to Harry. "I didn't realize that I needed it."

Harry took his hand and they went downstairs together.

"Hi Jamie," Sirius leaped towards him. "How are you feeling?"

James smiled.

"Sorry for hexing you. I'm OK now. I did some thinking and... well, the only thing that actually really really hurts me is the fact she's not willing to give Harry the option to get to know his mother."

Harry tilted his head. He didn't even think about that.

"I have you," he said simply. "It's not like I'll miss her. Yeah, it sucks that she doesn't want us, but for the first time ever I have enough family that I don't really care if she wants to be in my life or not."

The floo roared in the other room and James sighed.

"Please tell me you didn't ask people to come and try to get me to get out of bed."

Sirius and Remus smiled sheepishly. Marlene came into the room and started laughing.

"Oh my fucking Merlin. You look so old," she said while laughing hysterically.

Sirius made a face at her.

"Do you want to say Hi to James or are you leaving?"

Marlene walked over to James and pulled him into a hug.

"I'm sorry bro," she said quietly. "I literally don't know what to say. The last few days she kept disappearing, but we thought she wanted space from us too. After professor McGonagall left, Lily said there's no point in her hiding anything anymore, and she went back to Severus."

The mood in the room became even more depressing.

"Thanks," managed Remus to say. "It's good to see you, Mar."

Marlene sighed and went back to the fireplace.

"Well, at least it wasn't a complete shock," James smiled sadly. "Professor McGonagall already told me she's gonna do it. But honestly I didn't think she'd do it this fast."

They sat in silence a bit more, and then got ready for bed and went to sleep together.

The next morning James woke everyone up with breakfast in bed.

"G'morning people," he announced. "Moony, pads, and Prongslet need to go back to school. Go wash up and dig in."

After they finished eating the three left to Hogwarts, after hugging the shit out of James and Regulus.

Harry kissed James' cheek.

"I'll talk to her," he promised. "I'll let you know what she said."

Back at Hogwarts Harry didn't wait before he walked out, determined to find Lily and have a real conversation.