A second chance at life

When Sirius woke up Harry was already awake, looking at him with teary eyes. Sirius rolled onto his back and smiled at Harry.

"Good morning, Prongslet," he said.

Harry moved closer to him and pressed his face against Sirius' shirt. Sirius hugged him tenderly.

"I love you," he reminded him.

Remus entered the room.

"Good morning," he announced. "Breakfast is already ready, come whenever you're ready."

Sirius sat up, still holding Harry close to him.

"Aren't we going to the Great Hall?" He wondered.

Remus didn't answer, a smile hovering on his lips, and left the room. Sirius and Harry exchanged suspicious glances and hurried after Remus. They sat down at the kitchen table, but didn't start eating what was on the table.

"Moony, what the hell?" Annoyance rose in Sirius' voice.

Remus placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"When you were still deep in your beauty sleep, I went to Dumbledore and informed him that Harry wasn't feeling well, so he wouldn't be coming to class today, and that none of us would be at meals in the Great Hall," he explained.

Harry looked up apprehensively.

"Why?" He asked.

Remus kissed his temple.

"You need a day to relax from yesterday," he answered simply.

Harry sniffled.

"I feel so bad," he said in a choked voice. "I don't know why I behaved like that."

Sirius pulled Harry into a hug.

"You've been through a lot," he reassured. "It makes sense. It's all right, Baby."

Harry closed his eyes, trying to hold back his tears. When he composed himself he raised his head.

"So we're going to spend the whole day talking?" he giggled.

Sirius pushed him lightly.

"Do we look that old to you?" He was deeply offended.

Harry shrugged in an exaggerated motion.

"So what are we going to do the whole day?" He wondered.

Sirius chuckled.

"We'll talk," he whispered dramatically.

Harry rolled his eyes.

"Padfoot," he sighed.

Sirius filled Harry's plate, swallowing a smile. Harry began to eat obediently, knowing better than to try to argue with his godfather about food. When they finished eating Sirius led Harry to the couch.

"We're going to find ideas now for things you can do when you're sad," he announced.

Harry rolled his eyes.

"I'm not depressed," he complained.

Sirius gave him a disbelieving look and Harry made a face.

"You're not really serious," he whined.

Sirius smiled sweetly.

"I'm always serious."

Harry ignored the pun and threw his head back dramatically. Sirius reached out to ruffle his hair. Harry leaned into the touch and breathed deeply.

"One day without you was enough for me to realize that what I really need for me to feel better in school is you," he said quietly. "You always know what to do to improve my mood. I love Draco, but being vulnerable next to adults, no, specifically next to you, is easier for me."

Sirius scooted closer to Harry and hugged him softly. Harry blinked, feeling a single tear fall on his cheek.

"Please be mad at me," he whispered.

Sirius wiped Harry's cheek with his thumb.

"I can't," he replied. "Even if I wanted to."

Harry sighed, resting his head weakly on Sirius' chest. Remus left the kitchen after he finished cleaning up after them and sat down on Harry's other side.

"How are you feeling?" He asked softly.

Harry lifted his head and turned to face Remus.

"I feel like I don't deserve anything, but you still give me everything," he answered in frustration.

Remus put a finger under Harry's chin and tilted his head up, towards him.

"You saved the whole Wizarding community by the time you were seventeen. We left you alone - even if it wasn't on purpose, it happened. You deserve everything, baby, and we're glad we got another chance to give you as much as we can," he smiled sadly. "There's nothing you'll do to make us think you deserve less. We're here to protect you and give you the childhood you should have had in the eighteen years you had to be an adult."

Harry sighed in despair.

"You already told me that when we were at home," he recalled, releasing his chin from Remus' hand and scratching it lightly. "Before I told you I didn't want or need you. Why are you giving me everything now?"

Sirius took Harry's hand gently.

"Nothing has changed," he said softly, stroking circles on the back of Harry's hand with his thumb. "Things happened, You were angry with us, hurt by us, and then you came back to us. For us, nothing has changed. We loved you and cared for you, and we still love you and care for you. Yeah, it wasn't fun that you didn't want us, but we weren't angry. It's your choice. The fact that you deserve everything also includes the choice to be independent."

Harry swallowed.

"Could we not actually talk the whole day?" He asked. "Let's just sit on the couch and I'll try to process everything and you'll be with me?"

Sirius hugged him affectionately.

"Whatever you want," he said again.

Harry snuggled up close to Sirius, and five minutes later he was already asleep. Remus sighed.

"He had a long night. I'm surprised he was able to get up early at all," he admitted.

Sirius ran his fingers through Harry's hair, hoping he wasn't having nightmares. Remus kissed Sirius' cheek.

"You had a long night too," he added. "Try to sleep too."

Sirius yawned.

"What are you going to do?" He asked.

Remus smiled mischievously.

"I'm going to sleep in the bed," he replied.

Sirius stuck his tongue out and closed his eyes, pulling Harry closer to him. He didn't fall asleep, and after half an hour he shook Harry lightly. Harry blinked sleepily.

"What?" he asked hoarsely, rubbing his eyes. Sirius ran a hand through his hair.

"I think we're better off getting up now and making an early night," he explained. "Do you want to go flying?"

Harry's eyes lit up but went out almost instantly.

"But officially I'm sick. No one can see me outside the room," he mentioned.

Sirius huffed in frustration.

"I don't want you to get used to sleeping every afternoon," he murmured. "It's not healthy."

Harry stood up.

"We can make lunch by ourselves without using magic," he suggested. "You have no experience and I haven't cooked in a really long time and I'm tired too, so it will take us hours."

Sirius moaned dramatically.

"Fine," he gave in as Harry rolled his eyes.

They walked into the kitchen and Sirius looked around helplessly.

"Where do we start?" he asked in desperation.

Harry rolled his eyes again and Sirius looked at him, insulted.

"It's not my fault I grew up with house elves," he complained.

Harry swallowed.

"Yeah, you're right, I'm really lucky to have grown up like a house elf," he answered dryly.

Sirius bit his lip.

"I'm sorry, Prongslet," he said quickly. "I didn't mean to say that."

Harry smiled at him with an effort.

"I know," he answered. "I love you."

Sirius sat down in a chair.

"What are we making?" He asked.

Harry shrugged.

"Does meat, potatoes and rice sound good?" He suggested.

Sirius nodded enthusiastically.

"You know how to cook all that?" His voice was full of appreciation and deep sadness.

Harry shrugged.

"I can't go out so you'll have to go to the kitchen and ask the elves for the ingredients we need. I'll make a list," he summoned parchment and a quill. When he was done Sirius moved closer to take the list, pressing a kiss to his forehead on the way.

Harry slumped into the chair with a sigh. He still feels bad about the day before, and it looks like there's no way things are going to be okay between them. There will always be something that will cause one of them to get hurt now that their relationship isn't like it used to be. He ruined it. Remus appeared in the kitchen after a few minutes, rubbing his eyes.

"Bambi?" He asked in confusion. "Where's Sirius? Why are you sad?"

Harry shrugged.

"Why did you get up?" he answered with a question of his own.

Remus approached Harry.

"You won't be able to get me off the subject," he said softly.

Harry sighed.

"I don't know what to do," he admitted. "I feel like I'm always somehow ruining everything."

Remus put a hand on his shoulder.

"You're okay," he assured. "You're upset and having a hard time coping with everything that's happening, and that's normal. Loosen up a little, Prongslet, everything will be fine."

Harry swallowed hard.

"I'm making lunch with Sirius," he said out of the blue.

Remus smiled at him.

"And I thought he wasn't here because you fought again," he teased.

Harry stuck his tongue out at him and they laughed. Weird knocks on the door startled Harry and Remus squeezed his shoulder.

"I'm going to open. Stay here," he ordered.

He opened the door and burst out laughing. Sirius stumbled into the room, his hands full of kitchen ingredients.

"Why didn't you levitate it here?" Harry asked in confusion, picking up a few things and placing them on the counter.

Sirius waved tiredly at Remus.

"I forgot my wand in the room and I'm too tired for wandless magic," he explained.

Harry chuckled.

"You're really tired if you forgot the wand," he muttered.

Sirius slumped into a chair.

"Kay, let's start before I fall asleep here," he asked.

Harry organized everything and gave the pair jobs, explaining exactly what they needed to do. They talked while working, not touching on sensitive topics. Sirius interrupted the conversation every now and then with a curse, every time he accidentally cut himself. At some point Harry sighed and took the peeler from his hand.

"You just sit on the side and try not to die," he ordered.

Sirius stuck out his tongue, hiding his real embarrassment.

Harry stopped.

"Sirius, we need to talk about this," he decided, sitting down next to his godfather, and continuing to peel the potatoes. "We are getting hurt by each other every other moment and it's stupid already."

Sirius swallowed.

"I don't get hurt by you," he answered quietly. "I'm sad that we act like strangers who apologize for everything. Yeah, I was awkward, but we should be able to laugh about it together or hug and move on, with no hard feelings."

Harry winced a little.

"I really don't understand how you expect us to be okay," he finally gave up trying not to be specific. "I told you I wish you didn't come back. I wished you would stay dead. I'm glad you love me, but I kind of crossed the line."

Sirius and Remus looked at each other.

"Put the peeler down," Sirius demanded, placing his hand on Harry's.

"Let's go to the couch."

Harry hesitated for a moment before obeying, dropping the peeler and following Sirius to the couch. Remus walked with them, performing cleaning spells on Harry's hands, who merely wiped them on his pants. Harry turned his head to him, smiling awkwardly. Harry sat down on one of the armchairs, not wanting to be too close to the couple. Sirius and Remus sat down on the couch, looking at him worriedly.

"Why don't you believe us?" Sirius asked sadly.

Harry looked at his hands.

"I won the war and you are the adults who are responsible for me. It's obvious that you will try to be nice to me no matter what. But I want you to tell me what you really feel. Not that you still love me. Tell me that you are angry and hurt and don't want to see me at least for a few days," he almost begged.

Remus swallowed.

"We have a trip to make," he said quietly.

Harry immediately stood up, thinking they finally agreed. Remus led him to the fireplace, and Sirius trailed behind them, lost. Remus threw the powder into the fireplace, waited for them to enter, then mumbled the address. They came out in Potter's living room and James appeared a second later to see who had arrived.

"Harry," he called happily, rushing to him and hugging him warmly.

Harry buried his face in his father's shoulder, trying to control his tears. Regulus came down from the top floor after a minute, looking up from the book he was holding.

"I thought you said Harry wasn't visiting anytime soon," he said jokingly.

Sirius walked up to him and hugged him.

"Don't complain," he scolded.

Harry finally lifted his head.

"I'm here to say goodbyes," he answered Regulus quietly.

Sirius let out a choked sound.

"What made you think that?" Remus asked, totally shocked.

Harry frowned.

"I thought that's why we're here," he was confused. "You're finally letting yourself be free of me."

Remus approached him and took Harry's face in his hands.

"We are here to explain to you why we love you, and I felt that Regulus and James should be here too."

Harry bit his lip.

"I don't understand you," he said in a choked voice.

Remus led him to the couch and gently sat him down. The four adults sat down on the couches, James next to Harry.

"Baby, I need you to understand that you are my kid," James told Harry softly. "I love you without even knowing you. you do understand this. Right?"

Harry nodded slightly.

"Good boy," smiled James. "We can move on. Now that I know you, I love you even more. It's impossible not to love your perfect personality. Everyone makes mistakes, and you're not different. Your mistakes will not change the way those who really know you look at you. Do you understand that?"

Harry sniffed and nodded slightly. James smiled and continued.

"Now that we're all clear, do you want to tell me why you think you should say goodbye to us? or why you think we don't love you anymore?"

Harry blinked.

"I wanted to visit you," he began hoarsely. "And Sirius told me I couldn't. So I got angry, and when a friend offered me drugs I agreed. Remus and Sirius canceled the effect of it and I was even more annoyed. By the end of the day I had already screamed at them and ignored them, and told Sirius that I wished you hadn't come back. After all this, why would he still love me? I was so horrible to him. It wasn't even a mistake, it was cruelty," his voice trailed off.

James pulled him into a hug, rubbing his back.

"I'm sorry, Baby," he whispered. "Your childhood was so fucked, the Dursleys were so horrible, that you don't even understand what it is to love someone."

Harry raised his head.

"I do understand that," he objected. "You see me as your baby, so no matter what you'll be here for me, to protect me, but I'm eighteen already, and you don't have to go out of your way for me. I want you to treat me like an adult. Be angry with me, fight with me, hurt me. I'm not made of glass."

Regulus cleared his throat, placing the book on the floor.

"I don't know how much I will help, but I want to say something. I also grew up without love, and I thought that Sirius was only protecting me because it was his job to protect his little brother. That's why when I came back I was shocked that he thought it was so obvious that I would come to live here. I'm old enough to take care of myself. Why would he help me? But I think I'm starting to understand it. To truly love someone does not depend on age, or what the person says and does. It's always being there for him. So if they love you it doesn't matter that you hurt them, because you regretted it and apologized. And it doesn't matter that you're already big, and if they treat you like you're made of glass, it's because they feel you're in a bad place, and you need more support than usual."

Harry listened with a furrowed brow. It made sense.

James stroked his cheek.

"That's exactly what we're trying to say. We love you so much that when you go away we just want you to come back, we don't care about anything."

Harry stood up and walked over to Sirius.

"I love you," he whispered.

Sirius pulled him to his lap.

"Please promise me that you will always come to me with your problems, without feeling like I am forcing myself to be there for you, because that is so wrong."

Harry buried his face in his godfather's shoulder, crying softly. Remus breathed a sigh of relief. They waited for Harry to calm down, giving him time to process.

James pulled Regulus next to him.

"I'm so glad you get it," he whispered in his ear.

Regulus blushed.

"You helped me figure it out," he said. "All the hours we talked and you told me stories. It… it taught me so much."

James smiled and hugged Regulus. Harry wiped his cheeks with his sleeve.

"But why would you love me so much?" he asked weakly.

Sirius frowned.

"What do you mean why?"

Harry swallowed.

"It's just me. You know I'm not the perfect hero that everyone loves. I'm just a kid taking up space in the world."

Those present froze.

"Who told you that's what you are?" James blurted out in a choked voice.

Harry shrugged.

"Everyone. I mean, Vernon and Petunia told me that all the time. I was also told this in school, and Dumbledore. He always gives the feeling that if I don't do my part in the show I'm wasting everyone's time and ruining everything," he said indifferently. "You don't think that's what I am? So what am I?"

James pulled out his wand and Harry flinched in horror. James took a deep breath.

"We're going to the Dursleys now," he announced. "To explain a few things to them."

Remus, Sirius, and Regulus nodded and got ready to leave, and Harry followed, a little scared.

James wanted to summon the knight bus, but Remus' menacing look stopped him.

"Do you really think it makes sense for Harry to be on that death machine?" He scolded.

James shrugged.

"So how do we get there?" He asked.

Remus summoned five broomsticks.

James stared at him in shock.

"You? Are you going to fly?"

Remus laughed.

"Well, how will I get there? That's what there is."

They mounted the broomsticks, and Regulus and Sirius began to accelerate.

"Whoa, people," James called. "Let's take it easy. The way there can be a really fun trip."

Sirius and Regulus turned back and they flew together, talking as they went, and tried to keep the mood as light as possible. They landed at the beginning of Privet Street. Remus wrapped an arm around Harry's shoulders.

"You are safe," he whispered in his ear soothingly. "We are with you."

Harry blinked and nodded, composing himself before he faced his uncle and aunt. Sirius knocked on the door and Petunia opened it. She recognized Sirius immediately and the blood drained from her face. Sirius smiled kindly at her.

"May I come in?" He asked politely.

Petunia moved from the door, trembling, and let the men enter. She narrowed her eyes in hatred when she saw Harry, grimaced at Remus' scarred face, and froze when she saw James. Her gaze flicked between Harry and James in confusion.

"What is this nonsense?" She stuttered.

James gave a cold smile.

"Where's Vernon?" He demanded to know.

Petunia gestured towards the living room and they went there.

Vernon was sitting on the couch, reading a newspaper, and he jumped when he saw the guests.

"You," he sputtered in disgust. "What are you doing in my house?"

He suddenly caught Harry and James and fell silent.

"What are you trying to do, you freak?" he asked hatefully.

James put an arm around Harry's shoulder.

"You will not call my son a freak," he said in a quiet and threatening voice.

Vernon and Petunia's eyes widened.

"But you... you're dead," stuttered Vernon.

James smiled.

"I was dead," he agreed partially. "Until recently. And now I'm here to ask for an explanation."

Vernon ran his tongue over his lips, scared.

"I… can I have a few minutes with the boy in a closed room? To apologize personally?" He asked fearfully.

Sirius opened his mouth to object, but Harry spoke before him.

"Okay," he agreed. He gave Sirius a confident look. He is able to do it. Vernon doesn't look as menacing as ever.

Vernon swallowed hesitantly.

"Can I ask you to leave your… wand… here?" He was so hesitant Harry was sure it wasn't his uncle.

He handed his wand to James and followed Vernon into the kitchen, letting him close the door. As soon as the door was locked Vernon turned to him, the frightened expression leaving his face.

"Do you really think you can do that?" He asked, growling.

Harry froze. He didn't think Vernon would be like this. He does need someone with him.

Vernon was standing next to Harry in one step. His hands wrapped around Harry's neck in a suffocating grip, preventing him from making a sound. Harry's eyes were wide in shock, not believing this was happening. The air started to thin out of his lungs, and he was sure he was going to die. He felt that even if Vernon let go he wouldn't be able to breathe. Why did he think Vernon had changed at all?

Outside the door Remus frowned in concern.

"They're not talking," he informed the others. "When they entered Vernon said something to him, and since then there has only been silence."

Sirius walked towards the door, determined to see what was going on. He unlocked it easily and opened the door.

The sight before his eyes made him growl like a wounded bear and lunge at Vernon, forgetting about his wand. Vernon was bigger than him, but he didn't have the strength of someone trying to protect his child. He was thrown back, and Sirius took Harry in his arms, caressing his face with trembling hands.

Harry took several deep breaths, and as the color began to return to him he rested his head on Sirius' shoulder and began to cry weakly.

James, Remus, and Regulus stood in front of Vernon, rage burning in their eyes. Petunia peeked behind them and paled as she realized what had happened.

"Please don't hurt him," she asked shakily.

Regulus turned to her and pointed his wand at her.

"You are aware that he tried to kill Harry, right?" he asked in such a steady voice that she almost fainted from fear. She opened and closed her mouth a few times and then retreated back into the living room.

Sirius raised his wand, looking at Vernon above Harry's head as Harry was still crying in his arms.

"Can I crucio him?" James asked with pursed lips.

Remus put a hand on his shoulder.

"We're taking him to the Ministry of Magic. If you curse him you'll go to Azkaban. I don't think it's worth it," he sighed. "Even though I really want to do it myself."

James sighed and thought for a moment. A red light burst from his wand and hit Vernon's hand who screamed in pain. Regulus disarmed James from his wand.

"What are you thinking?" He raged. "I understand you are angry. I am too. But this is not a curse that you can ever use."

James swallowed.

"It was a bee sting spell," he defended himself. "It's also red, and he just feels like a bee stung his hand."

Vernon sucked his finger vigorously, moaning in pain. Remus sighed.

"Everyone take a deep breath," he ordered. "Reg, give Prongs his wand back. Sirius, you're on Harry. I'm taking this fucking pig to the Ministry of Magic."

Regulus and James disappeared with a small bang, and Sirius patted Harry's head.

"Are you ready to apparate?" He asked him softly.

Harry nodded weakly.

"I'm not feeling well," he whispered hoarsely.

Remus approached them, his wand still pointed at Vernon. He kissed Sirius' lips, clenching his fists furiously when he heard the disgusted sound Vernon made.

"Take Harry home, I'll make sure this fucker goes to a holding cell until his trial."

Sirius disapparated.