"They're going to come", Lily sighed, trying to usher Hari away from the table of food laid out.
"They're not coming", James moaned for the millionth time that day.
Lily grabbed his face, "they'll come, okay? Nothing is more important to them."
James nodded, but a moment later looked out the window with a sigh, "I'll understand if they can't come. I mean, with the war on and Sirius and Remus aren't in a great place-"
"They're going to come." Lily recited.
At that, the front door swung open, followed by a loud shout, "Prongs!"
James ran to hug Sirius, the two staying in the embrace for more than a minute, only detaching as Hari crawled towards the two, mumbling 'pa.'
Sirius grinned, instantly sitting on the floor to play with him. James huffed.
"I told you", Lily said, "the 'p' sound is just a lot easier for him than the 'd'."
"Nah, you just like me more, don't you, Hari?"
Hari giggled in reply, looking up at James.
James tried to resist a smile, "I feel like he's pranking me."
"It'd serve you right", a voice came from the kitchen.
"Marlene, how the fu-n are you in our kitchen?" Lily shouted, turning around on the sofa to see Marlene and Dorcas in the kitchen doorway.
Sirius hit James' arm, "You gave them keys too? I thought I was special?"
Marlene grinned as she flopped onto the sofa, head on Lily's lap, "They just left their backdoor open", she bopped Lily's nose, "We're in the middle of the war, you'd think you two would learn house safety."
James frowned, lifting up Hari in the air, "Who's going to attack a baby? Look at him, so cute!"
Dorcas stood behind the sofa with a grimace, "He looks like Yoda."
"He does!" Marlene laughed, as Lily threw a vegetarian sausage roll at Dorcas.
At that, a knock sounded on the door.
Sirius froze up, eagerly taking Hari to play with as James went to get the door.
"Pete!" James shouted, hugging him in the doorway, Sirius relaxing and ushering him to come in.
"This your house, Sirius?" Lily joked.
Sirius grinned, "I wish. Still can't believe you won't let me live here."
James sat back down next to Sirius and Hari, Peter choosing the armchair instead.
"You've got someone to live with," James said, trying to get Hari to play with the toy deer.
"I'd rather live here", Sirius huffed, getting up to grab some food.
Peter, ever the distractor, grabbed a board game from Lily and James' collection, "who wants to play cluedo?"
An hour and a bit later, Dorcas won, victorious, but their celebration was cut short by another knock on the front door.
This time, Sirius instantly got up to go to the bathroom.
"Remus! I didn't know you were going to make it! Come in, come in" James smiled, directing Remus to the lounge where they all sat.
Lily got up, going to hug Remus who returned it, tightly hugging her back.
He then bent down to face Hari, "Hello Hari, you're getting bigger."
Hari looked at him quizzically but smiled nonetheless.
"That's what happens when you don't come round for months."
Remus turned to look at Sirius across the room, before turning between James and Lily, "Sorry about that, I've been really busy recently."
"It's fine, Moony", James said, a hand on his shoulder.
Sirius turned and stomped away, fleeing to the back garden.
James moved to go after them, but Peter got up and stopped him, "I'll go. Stay here and enjoy your birthday."
James let him go instead, turning back to Remus to hug him, "I missed you."
"Same, you don't understand how much" Remus sighed, "I can't stay for long though, my shift starts in half an hour."
"What?" James let go.
"The part time tutoring was barely covering anything, and the money Da saved up for when I moved out has run out so I got a bartending gig during nights."
James instantly went to his wallet, "You know I'll give you however much you need. Just come on- stay, I haven't seen you in months."
"I can't take your money, Prongs."
"Please, come on. I haven't seen you for months and now you're only staying for five minutes? Just-Just take it and then you can stay here and skip your shift. Just this once."
"That's not how it works, I'd get fired. And I've told you, I'm not taking your money. I can deal with this myself."
James sighed, "I just want to hang out with you again."
Remus grabbed something from his bag and held it out, "I got you a gift."
James smiled and took it.
"It's an apron. I made it, well with Mam's directions, I think it was the longest phone call I've ever been on, she kept shouting at me in a mix of Spanish and Welsh. Terrifying."
James laughed and brought him into a hug, "exactly how we felt every time you got angry."
Remus laughed, moving away to hug the others before he had to leave.
Sirius and Peter came back in, Sirius seeming even more irked than before.
He eyed Remus near the door, his coat and shoes still on.
"Leaving so soon?"
Remus huffed, "Leave it, Sirius. We can talk later?"
"When's later? 5 weeks? 6? Cause that's how long it's been since I last saw you!"
Remus clenched his jaw, "Dumbledore assigned me a mission, I told you."
"But why are you constantly going on these month-long missions all the time, when the rest of us only get week-long ones at most. What the fuck is so important for you to disappear for that fucking long?"
"Sirius!" Both James and Lily shouted.
Remus closed his eyes for a moment before speaking in a low voice, "Can we please not do this here?"
Sirius frowned in frustration, "If we don't do this here, then we'll never talk because you're never actually around to talk to! Hari doesn't even know who you are and you're his godfather!"
Remus took a step towards the door, "You think I want to be gone all the time? I hate it! I hate being on these missions! I hate being away from everyone and missing every single thing! I mean, Marlene's got a ring on her finger and I have no clue when that happened!"
"Four months ago", Dorcas said, quietly.
Sirius smirked, "four months ago, Moony. They had a party to celebrate and we got sent an invitation. I couldn't tell you though, because you were off who knows where! As usual!"
"I can't help it if Dumbledore makes me go on month-long order missions! I can't help it if I have to work day and night! I can't help it if I just want to sleep when I finally get home but I can't cause my partner's acting as if I killed their brother or something!"
Sirius froze, and looked away before retorting, "Maybe you did. How would I know what you get up to?"
James excused himself and went upstairs without a look back.
Lily stood up, grabbing Hari, and paused beside Remus, "I think you should go."
"I'm so sorry, Lily. Can you please tell him I'm sorry."
"I will", she promised, squeezing his shoulder before climbing the stairs.
"You two need to fucking deal with whatever's happening between the two of you", Dorcas said, sitting upright on the sofa.
Remus nodded, "Congratulations on your engagement", he replied before leaving, a small look towards Sirius as he left.
Marlene and Dorcas whispered to each other before announcing they should all probably leave as well.
Peter and Sirius both walked out together, Peter turned to them, "Remus has changed a lot, hasn't he? Do you think something is up?"
Sirius nodded, "You know Moody told us there was a spy in the order at the last meeting?"
Peter nodded, guilt written on his face. Sirius saw it, taking it as guilt of suspecting Remus as the spy. Sirius felt the same guilt, after all.
"I wanted it to be fun", James said, curled in a ball on their bed, "I thought it'd be like old times, just chatting, and drinking, playing games. I miss it."
Lily nodded, "I think we all do."
"I miss him and I miss my parents."
Lily grabbed two framed photos by their bedside, "Talk to them then. I'll give you some privacy", she got up to leave before James stopped her.
"Can you come back when I talk to Reggie? It feels right, all three of us."
Lily nodded, "course."
He turned to the photo of his parents as the door shut, "Hey Maa, Pitā. It's my birthday! 21 now... I feel old and I hate it. I can't imagine how you two felt", he laughed, "sorry... I'm a little mad at Sirius right now. I know, I know, you hate it when we argue. But, we're not technically arguing. They're just- they can't even stand the sight of Remus right now. Which is crazy because they're practically soulmates and it's just that Remus is having a hard time right now, which Sirius doesn't seem to understand! And-and it's my birthday today. I used to be so selfish as a kid and I know that and I feel like I'm maturing, you know? I'm trying not to be so selfish. But it's my birthday- it was my party and Remus turns up an hour late and only stays for five minutes in which he and Sirius get into a huge argument in front of all of us and Sirius swears in front of Hari. And it just- it pissed me off. A lot. I feel like I'm constantly having to do things, change things for everyone. We always have meat for Remus, even though I'm a vegetarian and I can't stand the sight of it. We don't keep alcohol in the house for Sirius. I always just have to be ready for when Remus shows up out of the blue, bleeding and muddy and refusing to tell us why. Or be ready for Sirius needing to stay a few days cause they can't handle their empty apartment. We built a smoking area in the garden for the both of them- obsessed with those things, they are. Even with the others- I'm meant to just control everything to stop it going wrong, to put everything else down to help them. But it's just- they couldn't just get along for five minutes for me- just five minutes! And maybe that's selfish... but I just want to be selfish for once."
James wiped his tears away with his sleeve so it wouldn't drip on his parents.
"Maa, I wrote down all your recipes yesterday, every single one, and I'm going to teach Hari. And we're going to fly to India next year to meet with the rest of the family. Lily's really excited, she's never gone on an airplane before. And Hari will be able to talk by then so he can say hello to everyone. He's so cute. Re- um Regulus brought clothes for him years ago and they fit, luckily. We were really worried they wouldn't. They're all green though," he laughed quietly, "if Hari gets put in Slytherin, I'm blaming him... I'm planning to see you two, and him tomorrow. I know Hari and Lily usually come, but we think he's been there too much. He gets all sad and quiet whenever we go. We don't want him to spend his entire childhood in graveyards."
James placed the photo back onto the bedside table, "I miss you both so much. I don't know how I'm meant to live for so long without you both around."