Interlude 1
Sirius was seething, partly because this was the fourth time he’d tried to talk to Dumbledore since he’d had his little run-in with James the week before, and partly because he was just angry and needed an outlet for his anger issues.
Of course, the old man was simply responding to his outburst in a scarily calm way, just blinking as Sirius slammed his fist against the desk again.
“You’re not listening to me,” Sirius reiterated.
“Sirius I understand that you are upset and rightfully so given the situation, but I must ask you to take a deep breath and reevaluate the situation,” Dumbledore clasped his hands on top of the table. “James has been gone for months now Sirius, it is not a new development. If this is how you react to a simple confrontation with him then there is a possibility that you will be removed from any future situations where you may confront him.”
“Are you grounding me?!” Sirius exclaims, feeling his cheeks grow hot.
“I am not attempting to be a parent here, Sirius,” Dumbledore pursed his lips, still being dreadfully calm, which made his blood boil more and more with each passing moment.
“If you were trying to be my goddamn parents then maybe try using the Cruciatus Curse, or just ignore my existence, not that you’d know because when I tried to tell you about it back in school you ignored me,” Sirius snapped, he couldn’t keep a straight face anymore. His heart was pounding in his chest and his cheeks were on fire.
He just wanted to know what had really happened with James. He knew Dumbledore knew more than he was telling Sirius.
“You being in that house was necessary, I knew you could handle it,” Dumbledore was caught a bit off guard by Sirius’ words. Which in his defense was far - Sirius never brought up his parents much anymore, ever since he found his real family he didn’t like to talk about the one he left behind.
“It still wasn’t fair,” Sirius crosses his arms and slumped down in his chair slightly. “But I’m not here to whine about the unfortunate situation that was my childhood. I want to know the whole story, what happened to James?”
“As I’ve continuously told you, Sirius,” Dumbledore pursed his lips and let out an annoyed sigh, “he was never on our side. He was working for Voldemort the whole time.”
Sirius couldn’t help but flinch at the use of Voldemort’s name - which he knew was stupid because it was only a name after all…
“See I find that really hard to believe,” Sirius retorts, “James has never been someone who would do that. I’ve known him for ten years and he’s never once showed a single sign that he would actually be on their side.”
Dumbledore took a moment to think about his response, which gave Sirius a bit of hope. He never wanted to believe that James had left him, he needed to believe that he was still good. James had been the light of Sirius’ life for ten years, and as much as he loved Remus and Peter, James had been there for him always.
Sirius was a fuckup sometimes, he knew that, he knew that he broke off a piece of his relationship with Remus in their sixth year, and he knew it would never fully heal. He knew that he wasn’t nice enough to Pete when they were in school - and even though he was trying desperately to make up for it now that it would never fix everything he’d done in the past. But he also knew that every time he fucked something in his life up, it had always been James to stand beside him. Which is likely why it hurt so much to think about the idea that James betrayed him.
“Perhaps you didn’t know him as well as you thought you did,” Dumbledore said carefully.
Oh, that was it.
“Oh fuck you! You think I didn’t know my best friend! He was everything to me, he’s the bloody sun in the sky for me, he’s perfect and wonderful and kind, and if you so much as suggest that I didn’t know him again I swear to Merlin and Morgana I will show you just how similar to my family I can be!”
The silence that followed Sirius’ outburst was sharp, it reminded him greatly of the silence that would follow his mother’s screams when she would get angry. He wasn’t proud of using his family’s reputation against someone who could very well turn everyone he cared about against him, but sometimes he couldn’t contain his anger anymore.
“I would suggest that you go home and take a few days to calm down,” Dumbledore said eventually. “You are not in the correct state of mind to be working in the field as of right now. I do not wish to remove you from the job entirely but I will do what I must to ensure you do not put this operation in jeopardy, Mr. Black.”
That stung.
Sirius hadn’t been called a Black in a while, and when people used to make that mistake he was quick to correct them. That’s what he deserved for using his family name to his advantage he supposed, threaten like them… you’re still one of them…
“If you think you’re keeping me from the truth about James then you’re mistaken,” Sirius snapped, pushing himself from the chair across from his old headmaster. “You can push me to the sidelines, but know that the extra time is simply going to get me close to the truth.”
Dumbledore opened his mouth to make some kind of threat to Sirius’ freedom or legacy as a war hero like he always did, but Sirius was slamming the door to his study before there was even a moment for words to be spoken.
He was supposed to have gone home through the floo network again, but he also knew Dumbledore had the floo powder locked up and wouldn’t give it to him unless Sirius agreed to not interfere in the James situation. So he decided he would walk to Hogsmead and get home from there.
Hogwarts was empty this time of the year, not that they would be very packed if it were still term. With the war brewing, there were a lot of families that thought sending their children to Hogwarts was just too much of a risk. And Sirius understood their sentiment too, but he also knew that the defenses surrounding Hogwarts would be almost impossible to break if the death eaters found a reason to attack.
Hopefully, the war would end soon, though being on the front lines gave him little to no hope. The war used to be purely political, strategic moves made by Voldemort to slip into power and begin making changes. But since Sirius had graduated it had changed.
There were battlefronts now, fights to win in different villages and Sirius had just been tossed into the middle of it with all his friends.
When he finally zoned back into reality he was walking the familiar path on the grounds toward the whomping willow.
That tree still held onto far too many bad memories of the day when Sirius had almost lost the love of his life. He felt a shiver run down his spine as the tree stretched in the warm summer air. The sun was high in the clear sky and if Sirius closed his eyes and imagined his friends beside him it felt almost exactly like the last day they’d been at school together.
“Now aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” a familiar voice laughed from behind Sirius.
“Says you,” he smiled, turning on his heel before closing the distance between him and his former transfiguration professor in a few long strides. “I wasn’t expecting to see you here during the summer.”
“Yes well Albus asked me to look after the grounds while he’s working,” she smiled at him before wrapping her arms around his torso. “You’re quite the sight, Sirius. How are you and Remus doing?”
“We’re great,” he chuckled. “He’s been working a bit more than I’d like but I suppose we do have a war to win.”
“Yes I heard about his work,” McGonagall pulled away from their embrace. “You’re both doing wonderful work considering the amount of stress you must be under.”
Sirius shrugs, “Yes well we are quite the power couple,” he smirked as he watched the familiar twinkle in Minnie’s eyes.
“I was sorry to hear about James…” She pursed her lips, and Sirius’ heart sunk again.
“So was I,” Sirius bit out, forcing the bitter coating over his voice.
“He’ll find his way, Sirius,” the woman reached out gently and brushed her hand over his shoulder.
“I don’t think he ever lost his way,” Sirius sighed, remembering just who he was talking to. Minerva wasn’t Dumbledore, she wasn’t trying to manipulate him, she always wants what is best for him. “I just need to prove it.”
“Well I have full faith in you that you will,” she smiled gently at him. “Should you find yourself needing help don’t be afraid to reach out Sirius.”
Sirius opened his mouth to respond, but when he realized no words would ever express his love and gratefulness for the woman in front of him he wrapped his arms around her and held on as if she was a lone piece of wood still floating after a shipwreck.
“Thank you,” he whispered, his voice trembling far more than he wished it would.
“Of course my boy,” she replied, accepting the embrace with open arms.
They stood like that for a moment, Sirius clinging onto Minerva as if she would singlehandedly save him from the darkness that was inching in closer and closer to his life.
✮✮✮
When Sirius finally made it home after the long walk to Hogsmeade, and the unnecessarily invasive questions from the aurors stationed in the village asking why he came from the school, he was happy to see Remus in the kitchen hovering over a pot of boiling water
“Hi Moony,” he sighed, locking the door behind him as he walked quickly over to where his boyfriend was in the kitchen.
“Hi pads,” Remus grinned, turned around, and moved his hands to Sirius’ hips. “How was Albus?”
Sirius huffed, looking up with a look that told Remus everything he needed to know. “He’s still lying to me about James.”
Remus sighed, giving a small comforting smile. “Sirius I know you don’t want to believe he would have actually done that…”
“He didn’t,” Sirius insists. “Moony you saw him hesitate before he cursed me. He hesitated before he tried to hurt me.”
“He did hurt you,” Remus grumbled, he’d been agitated whenever Sirius brought up the fact that James hesitated before the curse was thrown. And Sirius understood - to an extent, he supposed that it might be easier to be mad than worried.
Sirius didn’t push further, he didn’t want another fight. “I know moony…” he ran his hands up Remus’ scarred arms. “We’ll figure it out.”
Remus nodded, his face softening slightly. “I’m making pasta, Pete had to cancel dinner by the way. He’s got some overtime to do at the ministry.”
Sirius nodded as Remus removed his hands from Sirius's hips and turned back to the boiling water.
“So we’ve got the place to ourselves tonight then?” Sirius allowed a smirk to fall on his lips.
“I suppose so yes,” Remus replied, and Sirius knew he wasn’t paying enough attention to notice his tone.
“Well then,” Sirius smiled, snaking his hand in front of Remus’ torso and turning the heat off the stove. “Dinner can wait yes?”
Remus turned around slowly and raised an eyebrow at the sight of his boyfriend leaning against the island grinning like a madman.
“What exactly do you have in mind Padfoot?” he took a step toward Sirius.
“Well,” Sirius closed the gap. “I was thinking perhaps we could make the most of an empty flat.”
“That didn’t answer my question darling,” Remus tsked, pulling Sirius’ torse closer to him.
“Oh so scandalous Moony,” Sirius laughed, taking advantage of his boyfriend’s mouth opening to reply.
Kissing Remus was hot, it was biting lips enough to draw blood, it was a fight for who exactly was in charge, and Sirius loved it.
Remus’ hands slipped down and picked Sirius up - lifting him up onto the counter behind him.
“Sirius,” Remus muttered onto his jaw.
“Hmm?” Sirius whined, desperate for more touching.
“There’s an owl at the window,” Remus sighed, pulling his lips off of Sirius’ neck - much to both of their disappointment.
“And?” Sirius grabbed Remus’ wrists and tried to pull him back. “We’re not working right now.”
“You know we can’t ignore owls,” Remus scolded - a playful tone still coating his voice.
“Okay okay fine but be quick,” Sirius huffed, trying his best to not jump up and follow his boyfriend to the window across the room.
He hated the new policy - that it wasn’t good to ignore owls, especially if you’re off the clock because you could be needed. But he stayed sitting on the cold countertop, swinging his legs impatiently.
“Sirius,” Remus called - his voice now devoid of mischief. “You cannot do anything stupid okay?”
“James?” Sirius’ breath caught in his throat. He jumped down and rushed over to Remus - who was still standing in the parlor with a piece of crisp parchment in his hands.
Remus shook his head warily as he handed Sirius the letter.
Dear Mr. Black,
Early this afternoon at 1:13 PM both Walburga and Orion Black were brought into our custody, seemingly under a type of memory charm. Given your attempts to testify against Mr. and Mrs. Orion Black in the past, we would like for you to come into the ministry and reiterate your claims.
Kingsley Shaklebolt,
HEAD OF AUROR OFFICE
“They think I did the memory charm,” Sirius dug his nails into the palm of his hand.
Remus nodded gently, reaching out to touch his arm softly. “I’m not letting you go alone.”
“Fine but I am going,” Sirius grumbled, stomping across the room and grabbing his leather jacket off the chair.
“Hey,” Remus caught his shoulder. Sirius turned to him, anger blazing in his eyes as he thought about the possibility of seeing the people that ruined his entire life. “I love you okay?”
“I love you too,” Sirius forced a curt smile, “but if I’m left alone with that woman I’m going to kill her for what she’s done.”
Remus didn’t reply with words, he just took Sirius’ hand in his own and squeezed as they walked over to the fireplace, stepping into a green flame.
✮✮✮
“Tell us again where you were last night Mr. Black?” a woman with long brown hair asked from the other side of the table Sirius was sitting at. He’d been there for nearly an hour and they still wouldn’t let him see his parents, and this woman seemed convinced that he was the one who messed with their memories.
“I was with my boyfriend at our flat, I’d just gotten home from work,” Sirius repeated again. He’d been saying the same thing for the whole time, and they’d even asked Remus if he was really home, which Remus had said yes of course because Sirius had been home.
“And when was the last time you contacted your parents?”
“Years ago,” Sirius rolled his eyes. “Speaking of I’d like to have a little conversation with them.”
“Please give us a minute Mr. Black,” the woman stood, leaving the room and Sirius folded his arms on the table in front of him and placed his head in them.
He didn’t know exactly what he planned to say to his parents, he knew he was going to yell, and that he would probably cry - because they had inflicted such irreparable damage and pain. He hadn’t been joking earlier when he’d told Remus if he was left alone with them he’d kill them. But he wouldn’t kill them for what they did to him… No. They may have destroyed him but Sirius didn’t think he could ever justify killing someone for causing him harm. No, he would kill Walburga and Orion for what they made his little brother into.
Regulus may not care that his parents turned him into a Death Eater, or maybe he does and is living in fear of someone finding out… Whatever situation his bother was currently living in Sirius wanted to punish his parents for it. He wanted them to bleed and beg for mercy - just as they’d made him do so many times.
“Sirius?” Kingsley poked his head through the door and Sirius lifted his head out of his arms.
“Finally determined I didn’t do it?” Sirius asked coldly, knowing very well that King knew where he was last night because he’d overseen the mission for the Order earlier that night.
Kingsley chuckled, nodding his head to signal for Sirius to follow him. “Now can I trust you not to do anything stupid?”
Sirius hesitates, following him down a dark hallway.
“I’ll take that as a no,” the other man sighs, “Remus! You’re going in with him yeah?”
“Yeah,” Remus stepped out from a shadow, causing Sirius to jump slightly. His heart was racing in his chest and he knew that Remus was going to do his best to keep him in check but a part of him was still scared of trying something anyways.
“Now they’re still under the effects of Veritaserum, though we couldn't get much out of them even with that assistance.”
“Yeah my bitch of a mother is practically immune,” Sirius crossed his arms over his chest. They came to a stop and moved over to the side of the hallway.
You’ve got 20 minutes okay Sirius? Try to get something out of this,” Kingsley performed a few spells on a large door and pushed it open for Remus and Sirius to step inside. “If you need anything shout alright?”
Sirius nods, unable to find his words. His parents are there. Right there. And even without his wand he could make them hurt… make them pay for everything they did to him and Regulus.
“I’m not going to let you do anything stupid,” Remus touched his hand lightly as they walked into the dimly lit room.
“I trust you,” Sirius lied, well… he trusted Remus. He didn’t trust himself.
They took a few more steps into the room and allowed their eyes to adjust to the lighting as they took in the room.
It was a small holding cell attached to the room where Remus and Sirius were currently standing. A table and a glass window were the only things present in the room, but behind the window, Sirius saw both his mother and father sitting along a bench looking utterly defeated.
“Finally got yourselves caught did you?” Sirius glared, watching the anger flood back to his mother’s eyes as she looked up.
“You,” she growled.
“Yes me,” Sirius snorted, “you’re luck it’s not just me.”
“Am I now?” his mother shot back, and Sirius had to fight his body not to flinch away or take a step back. He couldn’t show weakness now, he couldn’t in front of her. He could break down and have a crisis later, but right then he had shit to do.
“Yes,” Sirius sneered, “now I’m not here to make small talk. Someone fucked with your memories. I need to know who it was.”
“Don’t act as if you don’t already know,” his father finally tuned in.
Sirius balled his fists up, “I don’t.” He reiterated, his voice growing more and more agitated. “That’s why I’m here.”
“Sirius,” Remus warns, touching his fist. “They’re not worth your anger.”
“You’re right moony,” Sirius took a shaky breath, his brain didn’t agree with the words that came out of his mouth but maybe if he pretended to be fine he would eventually end up being fine for real. “Just tell me who did the memory charm and then we’ll be on our way.”
Silence.
“Look I don’t think they actually have enough to arrest you as of right now, but if you just tell me who erased your memory then you can leave faster.”
Silence.
“Ignoring me isn’t going to work as well as it did when I was a kid.”
Why did he care so much? He didn’t care about who performed the charm so much as why they did. Because if his suspicions were right then he needed to find Regulus before his parents did.
“Was it Regulus?”
It slipped out before he could stop himself.
“Are you stupid boy?” His father spat.
“What?” Sirius furrowed his brows.
“Regulus is on a mission for the dark lord, he hasn’t been home for days,” Walburga answered quickly, the words spilling off her tongue before she could help it.
They just weren’t asking the right questions under the truth serum…
“Merde,” Sirius chewed the inside of his lip, it was information, just not the kind he wanted or needed to hear.
“Regarde ton langage Sirius,” his father snapped.
“Suce ma bite papa,” he huffed, the language feeling sour on his tongue. He hated speaking French nowadays.
Remus gripped his fingers a bit harder and seemed to choke on the air, “Sirius,” he hissed quietly.
Sirius just shrugged, “what are they going to do? Crucio me? Been there done that.”
Remus sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose lightly. “So you really don’t know who cursed you then?”
“How dare you so much as speak in our direction you halfbreed,” Walburga hissed.
Sirius felt something in his brain shift. Like a flip of a switch, or a push of a button.
“Shut up,” he said quietly. “Don’t talk to him. Don’t look at him. This is between family, oui?”
“Go on then,” his father replied, his eyes narrowed at his estranged son.
“Tell me who it was and I won’t turn Regulus in.”
“You wouldn’t do that anyways, you’re far too loyal to that boy.”
“Wouldn’t I?” Sirius tested, he had tunnel vision. He needed the truth, and he wasn’t getting the results he wanted. “King I got something!”
A quick glance between the couple and Sirius got an answer. The answer he never ever wanted to hear. It made his heart trip and his stomach do flips.
Remus held him up.
Kingsley came in, but it was far too late.
They would be hunted by the auror department now. Both of them…
“I’m sorry Sirius, Remus,” Kingsley gave them a tight smile. “Frank we’ve got two new ones… Regulus Black and James Potter. Get them in, at all costs.”
His world shattered.