The Black Brothers
“So?” Dumbledore paced back behind James again.
“Well,” James sighs, picking at the skin around his nail. “It’s everyone we assumed would be there, maybe twenty people in total. Bella and Lucius are quite obviously the first and second in command, I assume that everyone who attended the meeting has the mark.” He restrained from adding ‘and the worst intentions’ because Regulus didn’t have bad intentions, and nor did Evan, or Barty.
“Write me a list of names,” Dumbledore appeared back on the other side of his desk with a scroll of parchment and quill in his hand.
They were sitting in his office at Hogwarts, James knew it was probably the safest place for them to be at. The wards up at the school were second to only the American Ministry of Magic apparently and with it being summer and there being no students at the school it really was the best place for these kinds of meetings to take place.
James took the quill and dipped it into a nearby ink-pot before copying down the list of names he’d committed to memory. The last three names he copied down made his heart twinge, but he knew not to lie.
Regulus Black.
Evan Rosier.
Barty Crouch Jr.
“I don’t know for certain that they have the mark,” James muttered, maybe he could lie just a little bit. Truthfully he didn’t know that Regulus or Evan had the mark, he hadn’t seen their left arms after all, he did know that Barty had it. He remembered the pained look on his face when he’d been marked.
“But they were at the meeting?” Dumbledore asked.
“Yes,” James confirms. “You know they actually-”
He was cut off, “and tell me what missions were handed out?”
“Oh well uh,” James racked his brain, willing himself to remember the groups of people and time slots. “Mulciber, Avery, and Malfoy have some kind of ‘raid’ on Tuesday, and there's a bigger group going out for a patrol on Friday. He wanted Regulus to brew a big batch of The Drought of Living Death by Thursday…” James hated name-dropping like that. He knew he’d only reconnected with the boy a few days prior, but he still felt the need to protect him.
“Hm alright,” Dumbledore hums, scribbling down a few notes on the parchment he’d taken from James with the list of names.
“You know Regulus actually has this plan…” James ventured, stopping himself as the words Evan and Barty had repeated flew into his head.
What I’m about to show you is absolutely something any of us will murder you for breathing a word of.
“Go on,” Dumbledore turned his attention back to James.
“Well um,” James stumbled, he couldn’t just trust them and then betray them like that could he? He’d promised not to tell anyone. “I don’t know much but I think they could help the cause,” he lied.
“James you mustn’t go around trusting people,” Dumbledore ‘tsk-ed’, “They are likely just using you to get to the Order. I chose you for this job because I know you could withstand their ways of persuasion.”
“But they don’t want to be there Albus!” James risked, the use of his former headmaster’s name feeling alien on his lips. “They’re just kids, they don’t want to fight a war.”
“They’ve made their choice James,” Dumbledore reiterated, his voice tensing a bit. “They are far beyond our help. Now tell me-”
“No,” James snapped. “No they are not ‘beyond help’ they are children. They were thrown into a war as children Albus! No one deserves that.”
“James does not forget that you are also a child fighting in this war,” Dumbledore’s eyes narrowed behind his glasses. “Do you feel as if you are being forced to do something you do not wish to?”
“No,” James recoils, “No not at all but I had a choice, Albus. They didn’t.”
“Do you know this for certain?”
“I mean no but-”
“James,” his voice became sharp as he’d never seen before. “I will not discuss this further. Those boys are beyond our help, they will be punished according to their crimes when captured and that will be that.”
“But!”
“No!” Dumbledore raised his voice, and James snapped his mouth shut. “I will not be discussing this further. If you have no more questions then I believe it is time for you to leave Mr. Potter.”
James considered stomping out of the room like a child after a temper tantrum but decided against it simply because he had a bit more business with the old man.
“Sirius,” James said quietly, his voice still coated in a sour venom.
“Sirius is on a mission at the moment,” Dumbledore replies cooly.
“Where?” James counters, “is he alright? Is Remus alright?”
“I am quite sorry Mr. Potter but those details are classified.”
“Like hell they're classified!” James spat, “they are my best friends! I just need to know if they are alright.”
“I can assure you Mr. Potter that your friends are all just fine,” the man folded his hands on top of the table. “Now I believe it would be best if you depart.”
“Oh fuck you,” James sneered, pushing his chair back a bit too aggressively and stalking over to the fireplace. He grabbed a handful of green dust from the canaster above the mantle and repeated his address just as the flames as they engulfed his body. The urge to flip his middle finger up the old man was quite strong but James didn’t have the chance before he fell through the threshold of his own flat and tumbled across the floor into his coffee table.
“Ow,” he mumbled, rubbing his shoulder as it began to ache. He pushed himself onto his feet and righted his jumper, dusting the soot from it.
He was angry, angry at Dumbledore, angry at himself, angry at the fucking world for being so screwed up that a war was being fought by a load of teenagers. He pulled his wand from the back pocket of his jeans and cast his patronus lazily.
The wispy stag burst from the end of his wand and galloped a lap around the room before trotting over to James and nudging his arm.
“Hi Prongs,” James whispered, desperately missing seeing the enormous dog sitting beside it wagging its tail. “Do you want to go on a little run for me?”
Obviously, the stag couldn’t reply but James took the bob of his head as a yes.
“Go to Regulus please, Regulus Black,” James repeated, “do you want to come over for a bit? You can bring Evan and Barty if you’d like, but I could use some company, and I know you would probably like to get away from your parents.”
The stag blinked at him for a moment and then galloped out James’ open window. In the meantime he went to the bathroom and splashed his face with cold water, he missed Sirius. He missed Remus and Peter, he missed school when he didn’t have to worry about fighting in the war, or whether or not his identity would be discovered. Back when he didn’t have to worry about a trio of people he’d just met, back when he didn’t care.
James didn’t like to think much about how he was back in school - however much he missed being able to be so lighthearted and carefree. The truth was that James spent far too much of his school career being a bully, he would hex students just for a laugh and spent far too much of his time trying to make Snape’s life hell. It had taken years for James to change, but on that fateful day in May of his fifth year at Hogwarts, when Lily Evan’s beautiful voice had finally gotten through his thick skull, he did change. He stopped chasing after her and apologized to most people that he’d wronged (unless of course, they’d actually deserved it) James has tried to be as good of a person as he could be since then, and despite technically working for the death eaters he thought he’d done a pretty good job.
Without anything else to do James flopped onto the couch and flicked his wand to start playing whatever record he’d had on the night before.
So when you're near me, darling
Can't you hear me, S.O.S.?
The love you gave me
Nothing else can save me, S.O.S.
James smiled at the music, Lily had given him the record for his birthday last year, along with the record player - which had been a gift from her and Remus both. He had no idea how long he was laying on the couch summoning little balls of light before there was the familiar crack of apparition outside his window, he crept over to his window and peered through the curtains to see Regulus spinning around - looking quite lost. James chuckled and felt his heart speed up a bit as he made for the door.
Waterloo
Couldn't escape if I wanted to
Waterloo
Knowing my fate is to be with you
He hummed along as he walked to the door, concealing his wand in his sleeve before exiting his flat and skipping down the stairs taking them two at a time.
He gave a quick wave to the barista working behind the counter of the small coffee shop he lived over. The little bell rang as he opened the door to head outside and meet the other boy, he immediately spun around and met James’ eye.
“You came,” James smiles.
“You called,” Regulus shrugs, looking down to conceal what James thought looked like a blush.
“You’re cute Baby Black,” James teased, nodding his head for Regulus to follow him back inside.
“I’m certainly not ‘cute’ Potter,” Regulus grumbles, following James inside nonetheless. James just shrugs, doing his best to ignore the fact his heart wouldn’t slow down. Maybe he was still angry with Dumbledore? Or maybe he’d had a few too many cups of coffee?
“You live above a coffee shop?” Regulus questions as they walk up the narrow flight of stairs to James’ flat.
“Yes,” James nods, fumbling with his keys. “Unfortunately I had to move out of my previous flat.”
“Ah,” Regulus seemed to catch on, “they think you’re actually with us then?”
“Well I don’t think you exactly count as a death eater,” James snorts, ushering the black-haired boy inside before locking the door again. “Y’know just because you’re attempting to kill Voldy and all.”
“Sirius doesn’t know that,” Regulus pointed out. James nodded solemnly, and Regulus glanced around the small space. “You’re in serious need of a decorator Potter.”
“Yes well I’ve been a bit busy trying not to get discovered the last few months,” James chuckled gently. He could tell Regulus was regretting bringing up Sirius, but he could also see the way his lips were pressed into a thin line as if he wanted to ask more questions. “He’s okay you know.”
“Hmm?” Regulus turned to face James. Merlin his eyes… James had never noticed how they were different colors, his left eye a sharp blue with a ring of grey and the right being the opposite with a grey center and a blue ring surrounding the perimeter of his iris.
“Sirius,” James blinked harshly. “He’s alright… I know after last summer… well I don’t know exactly how much they told you.”
Regulus turned his eyes down and took a few steps away so he could sit on the sofa. “That was the final straw I think,” he said quietly. James blinked for a moment before understanding what he meant, Sirius almost dying was what made him want to fight back…
“Do you want to hear about him?” James offered, knowing it would make his heartthrob but also realizing it might give Regulus the clarity he wanted.
“James,” Regulsu sucked in a sharp breath and James noted that he’d earned the first name status again. “You may not believe me but I know everything about my bother’s life. I’ve known everything ever since you walked into it.”
“What do you mean?” James cocked his head, moving closer to Regulus and perching on the arm of his sofa.
“Well,” Regulus began. “When we were children Sirius and I did everything together. He was my best friend, and when he went off to Hogwarts I didn’t expect things to change. But they did, you changed them, James.”
He’d changed things between Sirius and Regulus? How? He didn’t even know Regulus existed for the majority of his first year of Hogwarts, and when he did find out it was because he found Sirius crying about a letter that Regulus had sent saying that he wasn’t allowed to write to him anymore.
“The first letter Sirius ever wrote me from school wasn’t about his classes, or the campus, or even that he was in Gryffindor. He’d described this boy… This boy with messy black hair and stupid round glasses and a smile that lit up the room like the sun.”
“Sirius saw me like that…?” James asked softly.
Regulus nodded, “And for months I saw you like that too. This promise of what it would be like when I got to Hogwarts, maybe you would save me just like you saved Sirius… It’s stupid I know.”
“It’s not stupid-” Regulus placed a hand over his mouth gently and shushed him, James shut his mouth quickly and allowed the other boy to finish.
“Anyways as soon as he came home that summer I was so excited to have my brother back, so excited to see my best friend again, so fucking excited to not be stuck alone in that Merlin-forsaken house… But when he came home all he ever talked about was you. James this, James that,” Regulus rolled his eyes. “You were a saint to him. And when I came to school the next year I wanted something like what he had so badly, but then I was in Slytherin. And over time you became his brother and his best friend. He forgot about me. So as any sensible and somewhat jealous little brother would do I started to stalk him…”
“I’m sorry stalked him?” James raised a brow, and Regulus looked down at his shoes.
“Well yes… But I didn’t know how else to make sure he was okay! Why do you think I came to you sobbing after he ran? As soon as I no longer had an idea of what was going on in his life I had a breakdown,” Regulus explained.
“Oh,” James said stupidly, and he kicked himself for not being able to say anything more comforting. Regulus was spilling his insecurities to James and all he could come up with was ‘oh’? Pathetic.
A moment of silence passed before someone spoke again. “You know when I was told there was a deserter from your side I wished it was Sirius coming home…”
“Regulus…” James said softly, reaching out a hand to touch his shoulder gently. “Sirius wouldn’t… he wouldn’t ever leave…”
“I know,” Regulus brought his gaze up. “But if someone had to come and be a spy that’s not him I’m glad it was you…”
“Me too,” James smiled softly, noticing his heart thumping faster in his chest again. “Me too…”
✮✮✮
“Shit Pete duck!” Sirius yelled across the ally as he noticed the familiar black smoke appear behind his friend.
The blonde boy threw himself out of the way and shot a stunning spell in that direction. He narrowly missed and Sirius lunged to grab onto his hand and pulled him up, drawing his own wand from his hair and going back to back with Pater as more death eaters surrounded them.
“Oh we’re fucked,” Peter grumbled, they were far too used to the attacks by now. Ever since James had betrayed them, Pete, Remus, and Sirius were targeted by the death eaters for fun. Sirius assumed it was because they were suspicious of James’ loyalties and needed to find someone who would put him to the test.
Personally, Sirius hoped he was rotting. He had no interest in what had happened, he wanted to believe that it was a mission, but for months on end Dumbledore had insisted that James had in fact just abandoned their side of the war. Sirius wasn’t one to take betrayal well either, he always assumed the worst in people - even in his best friends if the time came.
“Perhaps I’ll finish what I started this time hmm?” A sickly familiar voice caused a shiver to run down Sirius’ spine.
“Do as you please Bella,” Sirius sneered. “Of course, that would mean you have to catch us first.”
“You’ve got nowhere to run,” another voice chuckled.
“They’re right Sirius, the ministry had anti-apparition wards up on the ally remember?”
Sirius cured himself and gritted his teeth, they were pretty screwed if someone miraculous didn’t happen. And lately, something miraculous wasn’t something Sirius liked to count on.
“Then we fight our way out,” Sirius whispered to Peter, whose back was still pressed up against his.
“Whenever you’re ready,” Peter replied, and Sirius gripped his wand tighter until his knuckles were white. The death eaters liked to taunt him, always allowing them to start the fight.
“1…” Sirius whispered, “2…” he took a deep breath, smirking at Bellatrix once before shouting out the last number. “3! Now Pete!”
Spells started flying out in every direction, Sirius deflected lots and sent a few nasty curses he’d been taught back when he still lived at Grimmauld Place. There were five death eaters against Sirius and Peter, which realistically was a bad deal, but Sirius knew how they fought and Peter was one of the best duelers that he knew. Bellatrix was his biggest worry, specifically because she was not afraid to use the unforgivables on Sirius - he would shoot them straight back at her.
“Crucio!” the black-haired woman spat at Sirius, who deflected it easily, allowing it to bounce off his shield and hit another death eater straight on. They went down and Bella called him a string of nasty names.
Five minutes later it was an even match, Peter had taken down two more and Sirius was in a brutal duel with Bella while Peter finished off the other one who was still standing.
“It’s a pity we didn’t bring Potter out today,” Bella taunted. She knew how to push Sirius’ buttons, so well in fact that he froze, giving her the perfect opportunity to curse him, “Crucio.”
This time it hit Sirius straight in the chest and his knees gave out from underneath him. It felt as if every nerve in his body was on fire and bring torn from him all at once. His throat closed up as he fought the urge to scream, but Bellatrix didn’t lift the curse and Sirius couldn’t hold out for much longer without making a sound.
His vision blurred and for a moment he was right back on the landing of Grimmauld Place with his mother’s wand turned on him. Echos of the night he ran away flashed in his mind as he tried to pull himself together. Peter must’ve finished off the last death eater and turned his attention to Bellatrix because just as suddenly as it started the pain stopped, well the burning pain and the feeling that his limbs were being torn from his body stopped - however the twitchiness and soreness didn’t vanish.
Sirius felt a pair of arms wrap around his shoulders, and he couldn’t bring himself to care whether or not it was Peter taking him home or Bella taking him back to Voldemort.
✮✮✮
“Remus!” Peter squeaks as Sirius peels his eyes open. “He’s awake!”
Sirius felt hungover. Was he hungover? He couldn’t remember exactly what had him lying on the sofa in his flat with Peter kneeling tentatively next to him and Remus hurting from the kitchen.
Where was James?
“Oh thank fucking merlin,” Remus collapsed next to Sirius and kissed his head gently. “You weren’t waking up and I didn’t know who to call! Dumbledore said to take care of you ourselves but James was always the one who was best at healing and I didn’t-”
Everything came rushing back to Sirius the moment that James’ name fell from Remus’ lips. James was gone. He’d betrayed them. He’d been in a duel with his cousin, and Peter had saved him. Yes, that was right.
“I’m okay moony,” he croaked, kissing his hand. “Thanks for saving my ass Pete.”
Peter shrugs and fights a smile off his face, “Oh it’s no problem really. She was too focused on you so I just stunned her. I told the aurors where I felt them all so hopefully, we won’t have to worry about them.”
“Fat chance,” Sirius snorts. “They’ll never catch Bella. If they do I’ll kiss you, Pete.”
“Ha!” Remus barks laughing, “I’d very much prefer it if she stayed a free woman now.”
“As would I,” Peter chuckled, smiling at his friends again. “How about I go and get us some takeaway? I think we deserve it.”
“That'd be great Wormy,” Remus smiles, and Peter pushes himself up, grabbing the keys to their flat before exiting. He’d locked himself out enough times to remember them now.
“Hi,” Sirius props himself up on an elbow.
“Hello,” Remus smiles softly, reaching up to push a strand of his hair away behind his ear. “I was worried about you.”
“How long was I out?”
“An hour since Pete brought you home,” Remus flinched, “you only passed out about twenty minutes ago though. You wouldn’t stop twitching and shaking, you kept trying to talk about James…”
“Oh,” Sirius breathed, “I miss him…”
“I do to Pads,” Remus sighed, laying his head on Sirius’ chest. “I don’t know what to think anymore.”
“Dumbledore says he’s gone…”
“Dumbledore also told you he wasn’t capable of pulling you out of an abusive household for five years,” Remus points out. “I wouldn’t put it past him to lie.”
“But James would have been home by now… right?”
“I don’t know Sirius,” Sirius moved a hand into Remus’ hair and rubbed his scalp lightly. The moon was a few days away and he was getting tense. “I just wish things weren’t so complicated.”
“I know love,” Sirius whispered soothingly. He missed James, but he was secretly glad it wasn’t Remus, Sirius couldn’t handle losing the love of his life again. Besides, he could never be truly angry at James, he could wish death upon James and curse him out for everything he put the remaining marauders through, but he would always find a way to forgive him. It was James for fucks sake. James who had taken him in without batting an eye at sixteen when he’d arrived on his doorstep unable to hold his own body weight.
“How about we go out after the moon,” Sirius suggested. “It’s been far too long since we’ve gone on a proper date.”
“Yeah,” Remus muses, “I think it was for our anniversary right? When you took me to the museum and that valentines day festive and made me take those godawful polaroids.”
“They are not godawful,” Sirius hit his arm lightly, “They are my pride and joy. And also hanging on the fridge thank you very much.”
“You kissed me in the photo booth,” Remus cocked his eyebrow at his boyfriend. “Anyone could have walked in!”
“And if they did? I’m pretty sure two wizards with magic can stand up to homophobic muggles.”
“We are not resorting to cursing muggles,” Remus sighed.
“Well, I’d murder someone if they so much as looked at us wrong for loving one another.”
“If you’re going to murder someone don’t do it in my name,” Remus rolled his eyes. “Just let me know before you do it so I can clear my schedule to help you bury the body.”
“Excellent!” Sirius grinned, his mind feeling much lighter now. “Moony you really are my one true love. I mean you just said you’d help me bury a body!”
“You’d help me do the same,” Remus shrugged, but Sirius could see him blushing across his ears and cheekbones.
“Of course, I would Moony! The stars are nothing without the moon to accompany them.”
“You’re incredibly hit when you say shit like that Sirius Black,” Remus smirked, turning to face Sirius on the sofa. Sirius bit the inside of his lip and felt his cheeks get hot before he allowed himself to lean in and kiss Remus.
They stayed together on the sofa kissing on and off between conversations before Peter returned with two bags of takeaway and a bottle of cheap whiskey.
The three spent the rest of the night laying around and getting pissed, which of course ended with a minor food fight, Bowie playing on full blast on Remus’ record player, and all three boys passing out on the living room floor.