Strangers
T.W- Self-harm.
The first evening of the waning moon was perpetually the most dreadful, like every day of his existence. Painful bones and strained muscles intensified with the brewing storm outside. His modest cottage shone a dim blue from the setting sun and gathering clouds. standing on the cusp of the moors as it met dense woods, a remote hideaway far from London's bustle, one of his safehouses. He had a few houses, broken and dilapidated as he was with a cellar that held a cage, built of the strongest iron and silver, all but to cage a wild beast.
Himself
This full moon had been a little better than the previous ones. Groaning loudly, he finally rose to prepare a cup of tea despite his protesting body. The shrill whistle of the kettle pierced the methodical rhythm of books arranging themselves in an old trunk and he poured its contents into a chipped cup with some loose tea leaves. He took a slow tentative sip and instantly grimaced. Although he craved dearly a cup of coffee and some chocolate, but could only afford the inexpensive tea with neither sugar nor milk to improve its taste.
Finally wide awake, he packed the rest of his belongings into the three trunks. The 3 best suites he owned and the handful of sweaters didn't exactly take up much space. Another gulp of tea found him contemplating Dumbledore's letter and tomorrow's train ticket. Dumbledore had sent him a vile of the Wolfsbane potion along with a recruitment notice as bait and a steady supply of wolfsbane potion had been promised in exchange for taking up a professor position he never wanted - not after leaving behind that place which had given him fleeting happiness he was never destined for. Now, three of his best friends were dead; the man he loved was rotting in Azkaban, and he was left to grapple with lingering echoes of their laughter, bonded moments, and misty memories, all in this broken miserable body.
But he knew well enough that the only chance at survival he had was to board that train, escape his ghosts and confront the demons plaguing him. Though he couldn't deny past attempts to end it all had been unsuccessful because his cursed state rendered death elusive, every waking day was spent waiting for its cold embrace. He hadn't been quite alive for thirteen years now. With great effort, he limped towards the briefcase gifted by Lily so long ago and carefully placed inside her treasured letter alongside old photographs from James's wedding and candid moments with all the Marauders. Shutting both the briefcase and trunk solemnly, he put on an old trusty suit and his travelling cloak; then, with a distinctive crack, disappeared from his cottage, leaving nothing but an untouched cup of steaming tea behind.
Rain relentlessly pounded on the rooftops of Sterling Street, as she reclined in the bathtub, smoking. Mascara and eyeliner streaked down her bloodshot eyes. The dying embers of her cigarette glowed menacingly as she took one final drag, pulling her legs close to her chest. Gently, she pressed the smouldering stub against her inner thigh, its sizzle on her exposed skin causing her to throw her head against the tiled wall. She counted to five—eyes watering—before flinging the stub away, and then fumbled for the cold shower handle. Frigid water sliced through her skin, mingling with scorched streaks. She closed her eyes and lay down on the tub as the water pooled above her, feeling the burn in her lungs that ebbed at the void inside that threatened to swallow her whole.
An hour later, as always, with another fresh cigarette precariously balancing on her lips while she packed her trunk. In the small studio flat that her mother had gifted her a year prior, Narcissa perched on a kitchen chair, sipping tea. After being sorted in Gryffindor her father couldn't stand the sight of her, so rather than staying invisible in the manor for any more years, she lived here, camouflaging with the muggles.
"Isn't Draco going too? Shouldn't you be overseeing his packing?" Leia questioned as Narcissa stirred tea with delicate movements of a tiny spoon.
“He doesn’t need me, just his father”, replied Narcissa with a tinge of sorrow, "neither do you anymore it seems."
“Oh, and Leia, before I forget Lucius says it is raining cats and dogs there as well, so don’t forget to pack a few warm clothes with you dear,” Narcissa said in between sips.
Heeding Narcissa's advice, Leia gathered several jumpers, trenchcoats and some oversized scarves, alongside her regular clothes. Putting everything inside the trunk her hand touched a package in the midst of all her books, clothes and school requirements. Opening it she pulled out a silvery long slip dress and gasped, "Mum, did you put these in here?"
Narcissa looked up," Yes for the parties at school. I had them made especially for you over the summer."
"Parties?" Leia said quizzically as she took out 4 more neatly folded dresses.
"Sweetheart, might I remind you that I too attended the same school? And it's your last year honey, who knows what might happen. Maybe you'll find someone you love. Your father and I met during my 6th year and we never looked back.
Leia sighed deeply putting back all the dresses at the bottom of the trunk, beside her cigarettes and bottles of liquor, vowing never to touch them "I had someone I loved. He is in Romania now with his dragons. Anyways I have my NEWTs this year and I would rather concentrate on that. I am not meant for love, Mum"
Narcissa placed the teacup down and proceeded toward her, straightening the collar of her turtle neck while stubbing out her cigarette disapprovingly " Of course you are. You are the most beautiful girl the world has ever seen. Don't close your heart off for just that one boy. Love will find you in the most unexpected of places, it will catch you off guard, and sweep you off your feet. Just give it a chance."
She held Leia's face in her palms looking at her with utmost sincerity and pride, her eyes watering " I wish Lucius was here, I can’t believe it’s your last year in Hogwarts already. I still remember the first time I took you to the train station. It's like I blinked and you grew up. I could not have wished for a more perfect daughter." She kissed her softly on the forehead as a sole tear trickled down her cheek.
"I love you too, Mum." Leia wanted to lean into her mother's palms. To tell her of the nightmares and pain, to keep holding her. But the moment ends and both of them take a step back, tears streaming from both their eyes. So much left unsaid.
“You should go, Mum. They will be expecting you.” Narcissa nodded at her daughter before she apparated out of the place. Leia stood there in the silence of her departure for a minute, so heart-achingly lost. She breathed through the pain as she closed her trunk and locked the place and apparated out.
She had done it so many times in the last six years with her mom. They apparated to one of the ladies' washrooms in the Kings Cross station with one of their house elves Malpy. The house elf had practically raised her and lived with her in Sterling Street during the summer. Today however she struggled to heave her heavy trunk as well as her bag all alone onto a trolley in the muggle platform. She sighs, tightened her grip on her trolley, and ran into the wall. A few seconds later, she was on the other side, among many other students and parents.
She always hated the feeling that went into her skin when she crossed. All the students and their parents, their eyes on me made my skin crawl. She gripped at the long coat that silhouetted her frame perfectly, her combat boots splashing in the water on the platform. Just years ago there would be a curly red hair boy who would put his hand around her and force her to focus on him, on his magnificent dimpled smile, his freckles gleaming like stars instead of the lingering gaze of the people around her. She hated people, crowds and any type of physical contact, except his, his touch helped her calm her racing nerves. But he wasn't here now, just her painfully aware of the eyes and the people brushing against her. She got onto a compartment and heaved her trunk into an empty cabin before getting down on the platform to search for her friends.
"Where is everyone for Merlin's sake?" She muttered to herself as she searched the platform unsuccessfully.
She glanced at her watch, five minutes to eleven. She had almost reached the end of the train but none of them was in sight. As she turned to retrace her steps, inadvertently collided with a dishevelled stranger. His shabby appearance didn't do his mysterious aura any justice. For a fleeting moment, their eyes locked - his green ones piercing through hers - before she noticed his rough hands gripping the bare skin at her elbow. As her gaze shifted to his hand, he wordlessly slipped away into the sea of passing faces.
" Watch where you're going tosser." She said with a frown as she stared at the back of the stranger. She heard the train whistle in warning as white clouds of smoke arose in the distance. She meant to look around the platform one last time for her friends when she spotted them, Narcissa smiling as she combed through Draco's hair. Lucious stood beside them with pride, his one hand on the walking stick and another on Narcissa. They looked at Draco with so much pride, so much love that it hurt to be invisible in the moment. Draco was the first to notice her, his forgotten older sister, followed by Narcissa and then Lucious. His lips curled into a sneer at her sight and he turned them away from her. Leia could not wait any more, blinking back tears she started towards the cabin she left her trunk in looking through cabins for her friends.
It had been more than a decade since he last saw the scarlet Hogwarts Express. His heart gave a terrible jolt as his ears rang with the phantoms of laughter in the very compartment he travelled last. Remus put his trunks beside another one with gold D.O.M written on it. He hoped this cabin to be empty, he wanted to be alone with his thoughts. He put the copy of the Daily Prophet on the small table in between the seats. The picture of Sirius looked up at him, the headlines screaming up at him. He knew how he had escaped, his secret, the secret he had accomplished as a mere boy of 13, hoping to help the boy he loved, to help Remus. How could he tell people about this? How could he tell Dumbledore about this?
But a sense of duty failed his conscience. James and Lily gave up their life for Harry and now he had to make a hard choice. On one hand, was his betrayal to them by not revealing Sirius's secret and on the other was Sirius's betrayal to them all. He wanted to confront Black on his own, before anyone else, to just ask why? Why did he betray James of all people, his brother, his best friend? His godson? Poor little Pettigrew, his adoration for James got him killed on that very fateful day, and all Remus could do was watch in shock. He remembered Black's manic laugh and the look of paranoia the day he was caught, his shrill voice ringing in Remus's ears, pointing at the finger left of Pettigrew.
'Look Remus, It's Pettigrew.'
'Remus it's Pettigrew.'
He sat at his usual seat as all those years ago. Lily sitting opposite him looking out the window, James beside her trying to get her attention; Sirius sitting beside Remus content with holding his feet as he kicked James. Marlene joking with Sirius and Dorcas smiling as she tried reading her book. Pettigrew leaving all of them to shag Mary in the toilets. All of them happy, innocent. His fingers traced over their names above the window. Over time, he had grown accustomed to the isolation, the weight of loss bearing down on his heart. For so long, he felt as if he was barely living. He had lost all thoughts of friendship and love long since forgotten. Now, it was merely a game of survival. He took out a vial of his pain medication and drank it, his eyes glassy, his body breaking with pain having transformed just 2 nights ago. His exhaustion gave way to sleep easily as he put his head on the glass pane and covered himself with his travelling cloak.
After several minutes of scouring the carriages until she eventually stumbled upon her luggage tucked away in the compartment with the youngest Weasley boy, his friends and an unfamiliar figure slumped by the window. Enveloped in a dark coat, the stranger's face was partially concealed by strands of hair cascading over his eyes. He was was clearly not a student - his brown hair, with a few strands of grey, hinted at more years than those around him. Begrudgingly she settled between him and the Granger girl. She had seen Ron once before with Charlie's family and he seemed to remember her as well, given his awkward smile and the sudden blush on his face. Although the cabins were designed to accommodate six students, the presence of this strange man made their surroundings feel more crowded than ever.
As the train pulled out of the station and was rapidly gaining momentum, she got out of her seat and moved out of the cabin finally able to breathe as all of them sat awkwardly around the strange man. She saw the open compartment door ahead and stood against the door and took out her Walkman. She put on the headphones as Daisy's and Florence's voices fill her head through the headphones, the mixed tape of her favourite songs as she lights a cigarette. She watches the hills and the countryside roll by. Her thoughts eventually drifted from the man, his touch on her elbows, his piercing green eyes to Charlie again. She remembers them standing in this same position, him smoking and telling her his brother's crazy curse-breaker stories. A few strands of hair falling on his eyes, the corner of his eyes crinkling with laughter.
The cold wind whipped at her exposed skin and after smoking for the better part of an hour decided to go back into the cabin. The storm had increased in intensity as the air grew more and more chilled. She reluctantly returned to the cabin filled with 3rd years, who couldn't seem to stop throwing secretive glances her way, leaving her feeling desolated, longing for her friends. She came back to the cabin and noticed two new faces in the already-crowded space. A timid boy and a girl with red hair, who were both from her house, were sitting opposite her, looking at her in amazement. She smiled at Ginny who smiled back at her, the only Weasley girl, who had hit it off with her on her last visit to the Burrows. She sat there making small talks with Ginny and eventually Hermione about quidditch and prospective careers.
The rain thickened as the train sped further north. The windows were now solid shimmering grey which gradually darkened until lanterns flickered to life all along the corridors and over the luggage racks. The train rattled and suddenly, to everyone's surprise, started to slow down.
“Why are we stopping?” Ginny spoke quickly.
“We can’t be there yet,” Hermione added looking at her watch.
Harry nearest to the door got up to look into the corridor. The train jostled to a halt, throwing him back into his seat. Then, without any warning, all the lamps went out and they were plunged into total darkness.
"Have we broken down?" Ginny spoke
Leia discreetly took out her wand and hid it in the waistband of her jeans, her eyes on the door of the cabin. The mousy boy made a squeaking sound and " Sorry! Ouch Sorry!" as he stamped Hermoine's foot and then Leia's and accidentally kicked Hermoine's cat who hissed at him and jumped on Hermoine's lap.
"Everyone settle down and stop moving." Leia whisper-screamed, alert as she saw a black figure hovering outside their cabin door.
Hermoine who was nearest to the door scooched closer to Leia who was painfully aware of her thigh touching the stranger's and how close she was sitting to him.
How could he sleep through all this commotion?
Suddenly the door of the cabin opened slowly and the hooded figure protruded its head in. The air around them seemed to freeze. Then the thing beneath the hood drew a long, slow breath. Leia felt the cold seeping into her bones the void in her chest expanding, she felt her breath catch in her chest, her eyes threatening to spill over. She knew what it was, she knew what she had to do, but she had only read about producing a patronus, never did she have to use it. Her hand inched for the wand as she felt a hand grip her thigh, the long fingers almost touching the cigarette burn from earlier. The stranger stood up in one fluid motion and cast a non-corporeal patronus.
Everything happened very quickly, as the dementor left the lights flickered back on and everyone saw Harry passed out on his seat. Leia couldn't breathe, her mind was stuck in a loop of the crazed laughter, one that tormented her since she was three, the mad laughter ensued by the way her little body had twitched. She was hyperventilating by the time Harry gained consciousness. Everyone was focusing on him, the stranger explaining everyone about the dementor. His eyes fell on Leia, hesitantly he touched her knee and she jolted away from his touch.
"Are you all right?" Remus asked the girl now sitting in his place. She was the same one who had called him a tosser on the station. He saw her eyes glassy and scared, her breathing ragged and her heart pounding. She nodded and gave him a small smile and his world stopped around him. He noticed the honey-brown irises contrast with the light flush on her cheeks. Even in this state of panic, he thought, she looked like an angel. the kind of beauty that burns anyone daring to comprehend it. It seemed god took his time sculpting out his best creation.
He saw her rise from their midst and go outside the compartment. He wanted to follow her outside and ask her name but he had to make sure He took out the bar of chocolate he finally indulged in and broke up five pieces for the kids. His lips twitched as he saw Harry after all these years. He didn't know what to say, how much of it to tell him. Would it hurt him to hear about his parents? He had to talk to Dumbledore about it. How much did Harry know, how much could he tell him? Remus stared at Harry, and Lily's kind eyes and James' perpetually messy hair, stared back at him.
“Eat. It will help, I promise,” he spoke softly to Harry.
“Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to have a little word with the driver.” Opening the door he looked at Harry and said finally, “Eat. You’ll feel better.”
She heard her cabin door close as she shivered near the open compartment door, an unlit cigarette on her lips her hands fumbling with the lighter unable to light it. She could feel eyes on her and then a flame lighting her cigarette. It was another seventh Slytherin boy, taller than her, his hair a mess of beautiful black curls. He lit his own cigarette in the flame and looked up at her with a serious face and irises like deep pools of back ink. He gave her a small smile inhaling deeply, "I saw the bright light in your compartment is everything ok?" She nodded and looked back at her cabin door, she saw the back of the dark coat of the stranger. He did not notice her following his figure as he walked away. The only thing that she had time to notice is that he was way taller than she expected. Six feet, maybe even taller.
Who is he?
She turned to the Slytherin boy who stood leaning by the door too, staring at her. He toyed with the cigarette in his forefinger and thumb as he spoke in a soft voice "I am Aries Rosier btw."
"I am Diana Malfoy," I said in a small voice.
"I know," he said quietly, his eyes looking intently at her face before moving on his fingers. Leaning forward he tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. The touch lingered on her skin even after he straightened up. He stubbed his cigarette on the side and flicked it out of the train.
" I should go, get dressed. I reckon we will be there soon."
He paused for a bit and looked up at her backing away," I'll see you around Diana."