Chapter 21
September
Sometimes I feel like I’m not enough—I know everyone thinks that from time to time but, it’s different of how I think that
I got Sorten into Slytherin and all of the sudden my whole family treaded me different—being the only Potter in Slytherin seemed like not a big of a deal at first
My father told me not to worry if I get Sorten there
„You were names after two headmasters of Hogwarts, one of them was a Slytherin and he was the bravest man I knew“
These were his words—and he still treats me like I’m different— „be more like your brother“
So I tried…I really tried to be like them—for a long time. Which hit really hard after a few years. All the pressure I felt—it was like I’m carried it on my back and it gets heavier everyday
So I stoped eating—I don’t know why I did it, but I happened. And now it feels like I’m falling into a hole and it goes deeper and deeper and there’s no way for me getting out of there
I know no one can help me, I don’t need help I can do this by my own. Sometimes it gets better, there are times I can eat without feeling guilty or sick—but there are also darker times where I can’t eat for days and I start to black out, sometimes I pass out and when people ask what’s wrong—I have lower iron (works every time)
And I
„Albus, we need to leave“ Ginny shouted from down stairs to Albus room.
He closed his notes app on his phone and went down. Its time to go back to Hogwarts to his final year—and he wishes he could go back to when he was 11 and just started there
„I‘m on my way to the train station now“ he texted Scorpius before leaving the house with his sister Lily
„I‘m glad to see you again soon“ he wrote. And then after that a „I miss you“
Albus missed him too—even tho they called every night, it was better when they were together. And it’s only been like four days.
„glad you‘ll see Scorpius again?“ Lily asked as they walked thru the train station with their father
„Of course“ he said
„Are you trying for the quidditch team this year?“
„Are you insane?“
She smirk. „Maybe, but I know from someone that the Slytherins are looking for a keeper“ she said. „And I am going to be in the team this year, so maybe we could have matches together“
„Albus on the quidditch team would be the next thing on my list of things I didn’t expect to happen this year“ Scorpius appeared from behind them Albus immediately took his boyfriend hand as they walked through king‘s cross.
„I think you should join“ Harry Potter said to his son
„over my dead body“ Albus said. „Everyone who was captain asked me every year if I wanted to join, every year I said no, why would I join now?“
„But this year the captain is Lura Seno, and I know for a fact she would do anything to have you on the team“ Scorpius said
„Than I have to disappoint her, like everyone in my life“ Albus said and Lily Brust out laughing
„But you‘re great at Quidditch, they would be lucky to have you. Because when I was in Hogwarts the Slytherins haven’t won a game once“ Harry said
„And if I’m on the team I could kick you from your broomstick, and that’s a plus point for me“ Lily said. „Scor, are you good at Quidditch?“
„He‘s scared of height, so no“ Albus said
Scorpius gave him a look. „Rude“
</3
Albus fall asleep—his head resting in Scorpius lap. He tried not to move so he won’t wake him up
This is their last ride back to Hogwarts after summer—and it feels surreal to be honest. After six entire years of riding in the Hogwarts train, eating together in the great hall, laughing about some stupid Gryffindors, getting together in detention, smoking on the Astronomy tower at night—in one year this is going to be over. And the years with Albus and Scorpius being together was the best they both ever had—this will be over in a year too, they both know that because they agreed to it.
It’s sad, yes—but they have to make this the best year they ever head together.
</3
…can’t do this anymore
Albus finished his sentence he started writing in his notes app before leaving.
Scorpius was already asleep and layed next to him. He really can’t do this anymore—and it’s hard to keep this a secret from Scorpius. Albus doesn’t know if he had a slightly idea about his little eating problem or if he’s clueless—either way, it’s hard not to tell him Because he knows the second he tell him, he’s gonna freak out and looking for how he can help and will do anything to help him—that’s just too much pressure for Scorpius, and their finals are this year so it’s another reason not to distract him.
</3
„My dad‘s gonna be here any second now“ Scorpius said.
„I don’t understand, why does the school allowed a death eater to be a teacher here“ you could hear Polly Chapman saying from across the room. „My mother already made a speech about it to Professor Mcgonagall“
„oh fuck off, Polly, Draco Malfoy is going to be a great professor, you have no idea what you‘re talking about“ Albus said loudly to her and she suddenly shuts her mouth
„I appreciate that, Albus“ Draco said as he walked through the door. „Hello class, I’m Professor Malfoy“ he walked with his walking stick in front of the class and already there was the first question
„What happened to your leg, sir?“ A girl from Gryffindor asked in the last row
„I was hit by an unknown curse which almost limped my leg“ he said. „That’s why I seem fifty years older than I actually am“ the classroom laughed. „Does any of you heard of the Baneberry Potion“
Albus and Polly raised their hand at the same time—which made them the only ones.
„Well, that is going to be fun“ Scorpius said
„Potter, you know?“ Draco asked
„The baneberry Potions in a very poisonous potion which make the one who drink it suffer in pain and with a good amount of it, it could kill someone“ Albus answer and gave Polly a look to show her he’s smarter
„Ten points to Slytherin—I always wanted to say that“ Draco said to himself but the students still could hear him and laughed a little. „What’s your name, miss?“ he asked Polly
„Polly Chapman, sir“
„Where you gonna say the same thing or do you have to add something to that?“
„Yes, I do. The baneberry potion was originally made for animals and creatures to set into peaceful sleep to kill them. For them it’s not dangerous or painful at all, but for us it feel like a pain we could never imagine“ Polly gave the same look back to Albus who just rolled his eyes
„Ten points to Gryffindor too“
Albus raised his hand again. „May I say that the only reason it’s poison for humans and not for animals or creatures is because it has wolfsbane in it—if a Werwolfs drinks it tho, they will die“
Polly raised her hand again too. „I‘m sorry, but as far as I know, wolfsbane does not infect humans—so you‘re wrong“
„Pure wolfsbane does not affect humans, you‘re right. But in the baneberry potion is something else inside—if you mix wolfsbane with hippogriff tears it will be poisonous to humans too“ Albus said
Malfoy stood in front of the class just listening. „I don’t even have to teach you anything, the whole hour can go by with just you two talking“ he said. „You‘re both right with everything—but please let me move on with my lesson before you murder each other“
</3
After class, Draco wanted to talk to Albus alone. Albus didn’t really knew what‘s gonna be about, but they always talk alone when Albus is at the Malfoy Manor and it’s not unusual
„What‘s up?“ Albus asked
„I knew you were good at potion, but I never thought you‘re that good“ he said. Albus smiled bright by his compliment. „What are you gonna do after you graduated?“
„I don’t know yet“ Albus said. It was kinda embarrassing that he has no idea what he’s gonna do when he finished with Hogwarts—but he probably gonna be an auror like the rest of his family and it’s easy for him to do—even if it’s not what he really wants
„you could easily become an potions master“ he said. „You know, making potions for healers. the ministry looks all the time for people like you. I think you have some potential little Potter“
„Thanks“ he said. „I‘ll think about it“ There was a pause between them—Albus didn’t left because he knew Draco still wants to say something.
„Do you really think it’s a good idea to put a time limit on your relationship?“ he asked Albus holds his breath.
„You know?“
„I kinda overheard you the other night“ he said. „I talked to Scorpius and he seems really upset about it“
„It was his idea“ Albus said. „And no, I don’t think it’s a good idea but it’s the only way to keep our relationship alive“ Albus walked back to a table and sat on it. „Scorpius is leaving next year and I don’t really realised it now, it’s seems not real, like it’s not 100% sure he’s leaving“
„I understand, I have to proses that too. But he is leaving—and it’s gonna be the hardest decision he ever made but he has to do it“
„I know“ Albus said. „But it hurts“
„I know“
</3
As they entered the great hall for dinner—The whole Slytherin tables turned around to them for some reason. They both got slower as they realised they‘re looking at them—maybe they got exposed in the daily prophet again…
„Excuse me, everyone“ a girl in front of the Podest said. She was a Slytherin—blond hair, tall and thin. „I have a question to asked. This goes to my house“ she said
„That’s Lura Seno“ Scorpius said to Albus as they sat down on their table
Albus never really saw her, but he heard a lot about her—and oh god, he knows what’s coming „As you all know I’m the captain of our Slytherin Quidditch team this year“ the Slytherins cheered for her—she started talking directly to the Slytherins. „And we want our team to win this year. So who’s agreeing with me that Albus Severus Potter should join our team?“ she shouted through the hall and the entire Slytherin table started to cheer and scream
„You can’t say no to that“ Timothy said
Albus grounded. „Fine!“
</3
September Starts to slowly fade away when Scorpius walked alone thru Hogsmeat. Madam Pomfrey managed to asked one of the teachers from Marie-Angle to maybe guide Scorpius and telling him about how great the school is. Scorpius was way to early there so he waited half an hour for that guy, which was not so bad because it kinda helped keeping his anxiety down.
When the guy walked in, Scorpius jumped up and shook his hand—there were almost the only ones in the three broomsticks during that time. „Hello, sir, I’m Scorpius Malfoy“ he said
„I‘m professor Franks, it’s a pleasure to met you“ he said and sat down on the table. „Poppy told me a lot about you, you‘re a really smart student“ Scorpius smiled to that. „And I know you want to be a healer, you obviously have the potential—we actually need guys like you. Are you excited?“
„Well—yes“ he said unsure, and Professor franks noticed of course and was about to say something. „I am excited, I finally got the opportunity to do something I really love…but New York is far away—so I kinda have Second thoughts“ he said slowly
„I know it would be hard, your whole family is here, aren‘t they?“
„No, not all of them, I was actually born and raised in Brooklyn, we moved here when I was nine“ he said. „But I always wanted to move back, I just realised that it’s becoming true very soon now and that scary“
„I mean you have holidays, you can always visit them“ he said. „You really shouldn’t be scared, and you also shouldn’t have Second thoughts, you don’t get that opportunity every day, you know“
They talked for another two hours about school, Scorpius education, why he wants to study there, etc…etc…
„Look at the time“ Franks said and looked at his watch. „I really should go now“ he said and shook Scorpius hand. „I‘m very happy you gonna study in our School, Scorpius…do you maybe know someone with good potions Knowledge and the wish to be a potions master?“ he asked randomly
„eh…not sure, why?“
„Well, Potions Master and healer students often work together, so most of them go with a good Friend or family member so they work together“ he said. „I can keep a place free if you find someone“ he said as he walked outside
„I‘ll think about it“
</3
„And we talked for hours straight“ Scorpius talking with excitement to Albus about his meeting with Professor Franks—Albus tho, didn’t seems that interested and just nods to every word he said. „After me spoke, I even got more exiting to go—away from this stupid country and back home“ he said
Albus stoped nodding for a second—for some reason that sentence hit deeply in his heart. They where sitting on Scorpius bed and Albus starts to play with the sleeves of Scorpius‘ sweater—which he always does when he’s in a special mood
„I guess you‘re not interested in my story?“ Scorpius said but with a smirk on his face
„Yes, please shut up“ Albus moved his whole body on Scorpius‘ lap and starts kissing him deeply
Scorpius grabbed him tied by the hips and flipped him on his back so Scorpius would be on top. Albus grabbed his hair while Scorpius keep pushing him forward—he kissed his neck down and throwing their clothes on the floor.
</3
The wind was cold on his cheeks—after they finished, they walked up to the Astronomy tower to smoke a fag. It was already past midnight and the view from up there was almost magical. They‘ve been quiet for a while when Scorpius exhaled loudly.
„You need to be really honest with me now, Albus“ he said and inhaled the smoke of his fag one more time before he throwers it away. „Do you want me to leave for healer school?“ This question came unexpected.
„I want you to be happy“ Albus said.
„But do you want me to leave?“ he asked slowly. „Because if you tell me to stay, I will“
„I can’t ask you to do that“
„yes you can“ he said. „You‘re the best thing that ever happened to me, and leaving you would break my heart in million pieces. And you have so much power over me that if you tell me to stay, I will“
Albus moved further to his boyfriend. „You need to leave“ he said. „It’s not a good thing that I have so much power over you, I want you to be happy and you‘re not happy here“ he placed his hand on Scorpius‘ and squeezed it tight. „all we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us“
Scorpius smiled soft. „I love you“ he said quietly
„A horrible decision“