Somehow it hurts less knowing she was the one doing this. She’s crying, tears rolling down her pale cheeks mixing with snot and its ugly but somehow she still manages to look beautiful. There was beauty in everything Rarity did. Even this. A gun pressed against Aj’s head, shaky, but there.
“I can’t— Aj I,” her whole body was trembling. Aj wanted to hold her. Would, if she wasn’t currently handcuffed. Instead she goes for a smile, hopes its something soothing, something soft. But she can feel her own lips trembling. She takes a her free hand, the opposite hands holds the gun against her temple more firmly. Blinking away the burning behind her eyes.
“You have to.”
“Aj, this is insanity! I can’t— You— Twilight’s working on a cure. We can wait, we just have to wait a little longer—”
Aj shakes her head. Twilight was no closer to finding that cure than she was when this all first started. And Aj didn’t want to become one of those things. She didn’t want Rarity to see her like that. Didn’t want to be remembered like that. “You have to.” She says again, stern. Rarity jerks, almost pulling away the gun but Aj holds steady. “Please.”
“Don’t,” a sob, “Don’t look at me like that. You’ll break my heart.”
Aj smiles again, this time more genuine. “I’d never dream of it.”
“Can I at least get a kiss? It’s my last one I very well deserve it.”
“Of course.”
And when Rarity kisses her it feels like love. It feels like grief, and loss. When she pulls back Aj feels the ache through her bones. “I love you Rare.”
“Love you too, Cowboy.”
Aj closes her eyes. And,