Boys

Regulus black was drinking his tea in the Slytherin common room one day. He was entirely drained of energy, and didn’t sleep well the night before. He had thought, previously, he was done protecting Sirius. He had done his part, becoming the heir, and didn’t need to interfere in such unimportant matters of a prank war between his brother and some other greasy black-haired boy. Regulus’ Gryffindorish martyrism had only gained him yet another enemy. An enemy of which seemed particularly cruel with pranks. Regulus shouldn’t interfere with matters again, he knew that: he knew the Snape boy might tell people of him running to his estranged blood traitor brother’s defense, and that’d only be trouble for Regulus.

What was more troubling than any of this, was how willing he was to do it again. He’s had this discussion with himself every time something like this happened, and he gets forced to confront exactly how much he’s willing to sacrifice for his brother who had left almost 2 years ago.

He had already sacrificed a free life. He didn’t know why he was still ready to sacrifice more.

The small black-haired boy ate his sandwich, staring down sullenly. He knew he wasn’t going to waste tears on this matter, not this time, but he allowed himself a lunch of wistful thinking of how he and Sirius could have been.

Staring up at the sky, with Cissa, Bells, and Andy playing out the Greek myths behind the constellations to teach him and his brother about the stars. Rolling down the hills with his brother, laughing, and feeling safe for once. Having Sirius catch him when he was too scared to climb back down the tree himself. He spent his lunch imagining things and memories of these likes. He was so distracted, he lost his usual sense of awareness. Suddenly,

“Stupefy!” A beam of red light hit Regulus and he was left in dreams of him and his brother together again.

-

“Rennerverate!”

Regulus woke up slowly and drearily, mind still on his sun-filled summers, bright green grass, and his big brother Sirius. He missed Sirius often. One of the reasons he had taken such a quick liking to his roommate Barty was because his impulsiveness and impoliteness reminded him a great deal of Sirius. Though, Barty lacked the Gryffindorish courage and self-sacrificing. Sometimes, however unpleasant Gryffindors are, Regulus still found himself missing even the most annoying parts of his brother.

Once he looked up, Regulus quickly decided he was dreaming still, because what he saw in front of him he had already deemed impossible: his Sirius, in front of him still.

He awoke quicker at that, his alertness coming back full force. Regulus tried to give in to the childish urge to pinch himself, only to find his hands bound to a chair and the wand of his brother’s poking right at the middle of his forehead.

Alright, this was less out of his dreams.

“Do you hate me?” Sirius asked. His voice cracked in the middle of his question, making his threatening demeanor a bit less so and a bit more pitiful.

Not even a hello, wow. Regulus didn’t like how he was about to answer that question, but to Sirius’ overall life betterment, it was worth it. You have to deal with the rain before you get the flowers, or however that saying goes.

“No. Of course I don’t” Regulus said, voice steady and sharp, ready to draw blood if only to heal twice as well.

Wait. Regulus was certain he meant to say yes, isn’t that what he tried to force his tongue to say?

“I don’t hate you. No I don’t” Regulus admitted, trying again. He was sure his bewilderment was clear on his usually unexpressive face.

“Then why do you try to? Why didn’t you leave with me?” Sirius demanded, wand hand shaking.

“I don’t try to hate you, I know my attempts would be pointless. I could never hate you”

“Why didn’t you leave with me? I asked you, you said no, why didn’t you leave?” Sirius repeated his question.

“Mother and Father didn’t want you. They never did, from the moment you got sorted into Gryffindor. They let you leave. They wouldn’t have let me leave; if I went with you, I would have endangered your freedom” Regulus stated. He was realizing, at that moment, his tea tasted a bit different. He been so distracted, but if he hadn’t been, he would have noticed the telltale taste of veritaserum, of truth serum, in it. Uh oh.

“What, do you think you’re not good enough? I would have protected you from them, you know I would have, I would have if it’d been the last thing I’d ever done!” Regulus realized Sirius’ wand hand was shaking, and so was the rest of him. His cheeks were wet, and eyes red. Regulus wondered how long he’d been crying, it’d clearly been from at least before he’d woken Regulus up.

“It very well could’ve been the last thing you’d done. I don’t believe Mother and Father would stoop down to torture but stop at murder. And it’s not about deserving. I deserve freedom as much as you do. But one of us had to be the heir. You got to freedom first, and that left me with it. First pick, first serve, isn’t that what they say?” Regulus paused, willing his tongue to stop the truth from pouring out.

“I always knew it would be you. It’s a little price to pay, if I get to see you live the life you’ve always wanted,” Regulus continued. He had always been a powerful wizard, but never in things like occlemency, defying imperio, or keeping silent while on veritaserum. Regulus didn’t have the will for that. He had always been a bit scared of defiance, no matter how much admiration he had for it.

Silence wracked the room for a long time. To be fair, it was quite a bit of information to pour onto his brother, who had clearly been expecting different results. “You did this… for… me”

“Yes,” Regulus’ own hands were shaking now, even while being tied to the arm rests. Tears weren’t dropping on his end (yet), but it was getting harder to breath and a lump was forming in his throat.

“Oh, Regulus,” Sirius cried, everything about him softening. “I thought you hated me,” he stated slowly, unsurely.

“I could never,” Regulus repeated.

“Do you believe what our parents say? About blood purity?”

“No. I’ve read magical theory, blood supremacy has no basis on reality. It’s only a desperate grab for power” Sirius looked even more broken than he had at the start of this. Regulus had questions as well, and despite knowing Sirius hadn’t been tricked into drinking truth serum, he decided they were worth a shot.

“Why didn’t you hate me? You were supposed to. I tried to make leaving easier for you, cutting ties with me,” Regulus questioned, even from his position tied to a chair.

“I could never,” Sirius echoed, repeating Regulus’ truths from earlier.

Shuddering breaths wrecked Sirius’ entire frame, shaking and crying. Regulus was barely a step behind. Sirius’ uneven breathing hitched for a moment, lit with an idea.

“I could help you,” Sirius decided, hope blossoming in his eyes.

“Don’t”

“No, I will,” Sirius had a tentative grin showing on his face.

“You shouldn’t,” Regulus argued

“You’re 16, now, yes?

“Yes”

“I could- I mean, I’d have to check with- and- then,” Sirius broke off into unfinished sentences, wand removed from Regulus’ forehead in favor of Sirius pacing about and muttering like a madman. “Remus and Lily would surely- I’d have to-“

“Sirius, what are you talking about?”

“I could help you escape!”

“No”

“Yes! Oh, oh, you could come live with me and the Potters! I know for a fact they’d let you in, I know it! You’re 16, it’s legal, now!”

“Sirius, hadn’t you heard me? They would let me leave like they let you”

“I’ll pry you from their cold, dead, hands if I have to!” Sirius bellowed, again back in front of the chair. “We’d always be safe at hogwarts, and the Potter’s will help- I’ll have to ask Remus and Lily about the law, you could legally run away and they couldn’t have legal action on that-“

“It wouldn’t work,” Regulus denied

“Why not?”

“They’d find me”

“Even if they did, the Potters have had very strong wards against Black family blood other than me after I took refugee there, they’d just have to alter them to let you in- oh, this is brilliant!”

“Sirius-“

“You want this, you know you do, so stop trying to fight it!” Sirius demanded. A part of Regulus knew Sirius was right. They held eye contact for a long time.

“Please,” Sirius pleaded, “I miss you, Reggie”

That most definitely sent Regulus into hysterics. Sirius undid the ropes with a flick of his wrist, pulling Regulus up from his chair and into a tight hug.

“I miss you, too,” Regulus admitted in between gasping breaths of air. He whimpered and sobbed in his brother’s trustworthy arms, like he had done so long ago. He had missed this. Regulus thought, after such a long time of denying himself of everything he wanted, he wanted do something for himself, for once. He wanted to escape.

-

Regulus went back to his own dorm, promising Sirius they’d meet up again tomorrow. He opened the door, finding Barty, Evan, Pandora, and Dorcas already laid out on the floor. Regulus waved, the effects of veritaserum long faded off. They knew his cues already, and knew not to ask him any questions or try to get him to talk. He was content to listen to them, however.

“Hey, Reg, patience exploding snap, wanna play?” Evan invited him, waiting for a nod or shake of the head.

“I still think we should’ve done Bavarian rules,” Barty whined, leaning his head in Evan’s lap. Evan seemed to short-circuit at this.

“Stop whining, Barty, you’re shit at it either way,” Pandora insisted, shoving at him with a small grin on her face.

“Yeah, but at least then so would you guys be!” Barty responded, elbowing Pandora right back while getting out of Evan’s lap. Evan seemed to mourn the contact. “Rosie, you support me, don’t you?” Silence. “Rosie?”

“Hm? Whatever you said, probably no,” Evan replied, snapping out of it.

“Ugh! It’s like you all hate me, here!” Barty threw up his hands, still having a mini wrestling match with Pandora, but kicking now.

“That’s because we do,” Dorcas deadpanned, finishing shuffling. “So, you joining, Reg?” Regulus shook his head in a ‘no’ motion. “Oh, good, you’re the only one who’s better than me at it”

“Evan’s way better than you at patience version!” Barty protested, scooting out of Pandora’s reach and instead putting an arm around Evan’s shoulder. Evan beamed at the compliment and the touch. “And I’m way better than Evan,” Barty said proudly. Evan’s face dropped and everyone told Barty he was the worst out of the 5.

“Alright, alright, children, start playing!” Dorcas demanded. And so the games began.

“Oh, Panda, did you see Mulciber today?” Evan asked.

“Oh yes, I did. He was scowling quite hard. Do you know why that was?”

Barty scoffed, “What are you, colorblind?” Dorcas abandoned the cards with her eyes to stare at Barty, looking at him like he was the biggest idiot in the world.

“What are you, a Gryffindor? Dumbarse, you know she’s colorblind,” she said. If Evan hadn’t been distracted by the game, he would’ve been looking at said dumbarse fondly.

“Oh yeah. My bad, Pandy- a lot of the Slytherins had red and gold dust on them, the Gryffindor house colors,” Barty responded. “I bet the marauders did it.” Evan revealed 2 cards of a pair, with 3 other cards shaking with the near prospect of exploding.

“Yes!” Evan exclaimed, before a boom sounded off and and left smears of ash over his overexcited face. Barty cackled maniacally, going in with his own wand to compete with Dorcas and Pandora’s, looking for pairs.

“Oh, guess what happened in divination today!” Pandora announced. Dorcas hummed in response, hints of laughter still on her face, everyone’s eyes on the game and ears on each other. Barty was still cackling, making fun of Evan.

“Trelawney told Emma Vanity that her and Caradoc Dearborn aren’t gonna work out, and Vanity and Dearborn got in a huge fight over it, Ms. Sildia had to break it up!” Pandora proclaimed, tapping a pair of cards while Dorcas gasped.

“I’ve always known it was a high time coming, I bet they’ll be broken up tomorrow” Barty claimed, giggling when more cards exploded.

“Liar,” Evan mumbled in his ear.

“You literally said yesterday they were the best couple in your year,” Dorcas sighed, tired of Barty.

“I can’t believe people are still paying Trelawney for readings, she’s clearly not actually a seer,” Evan speculated.

Pandora looked up in surprise, before dropping her eyes back to the game. “Really? I thought she was a seer”

“Nah, I doubt it. She gets good enough grades in divination to make people believe her, but I don’t buy it.”

“Why not?”

“Easy way to get money, and all of her readings are just a bit bolder claims than most of the rumors the school already agrees on.”

“I suppose so.”

Regulus sighed and decided changing wasn’t worth getting up, drifting off to their voices bickering and cards exploding in the background.