Sebastian had known for a while that things weren't right. It had started out small, but as time went on, he couldn't ignore the heavy feeling in his heart: fear. Fear that once you graduated, once your relationship moved beyond the familiar confines of the castle and into the real world, things would change. Your relationship was complicated, to say the least, and he worried that those complications would grow, that the baggage you carried together would grow heavier.
He had tried to talk to you, to open up about his doubts, but he could never find the right words. The last thing he wanted was to hurt you – you’d been his everything for the past few years, but he also couldn't continue pretending that everything was okay. The reality was that he had always struggled, ever since the night in the Scriptorium, with the guilt of causing you so much pain. And no matter how long you’d been together and how much you reassured him, he never forgave himself. Not really, anyway. He never deserved to be with you, and now the idea of you going on to live your lives together terrified him.
Sebastian had struggled with the decision to end things for weeks, going back and forth, trying to convince himself that maybe he was just overthinking things, that maybe things would be okay once you graduated. But deep down, he knew the truth: he was afraid that he wouldn't be good enough for you, that he could never be the man you deserved.
The final straw came during the end-of-year celebrations. A few short months earlier, he would have been looking forward to spending the night with you, but when the evening came, he just couldn't bring himself to be there. The fear had become overwhelming, suffocating. He felt like he was trapped, like he couldn't escape.
So while you searched for him in the Great Hall, he wandered around Hogwarts, lost in thought, until he stumbled upon her: Evie Audrea. She’d been interested in Sebastian ever since fourth year, and the whole school knew it, including you. In fact, her name had come up multiple times in arguments between you and Sebastian. And when he saw her that night, he saw a way out.
She was beautiful, funny, and most importantly, she didn't come with the baggage of his relationship with you. They spent the night together, talking and laughing and enjoying each other's company.
When you found him with her, he knew it was over. He could see the pain in your eyes, and it broke his heart, but he somehow felt what he was doing was right. What he’d done couldn’t be forgiven, and now you could distance yourself from him and be happy with a man who actually deserved you, who deserved to spend the rest of his life with you.
"It's over," was the hardest thing he had ever said.
Ominis had always been the voice of reason in their friend group, and Sebastian hoped he would be able to offer some clarity in the aftermath of the breakup, but he was not sympathetic in the slightest - he was livid. He scolded Sebastian for his behaviour, telling him that he had been selfish and cowardly.
And a few short months after the two of you left Hogwarts, he couldn’t deny the bitter reality that Ominis had been right. He had hoped for so much more with you, but now all of those dreams were shattered. Things would never be the same again, that the person who had once been his best friend and soulmate had become a stranger to him.
But he did his best to move past it, and so did you. Ominis remained friends with you both, but avoided conversation about either of you when with the other. And after a few years, Sebastian had moved on with Evie. She was kind, funny, and he enjoyed spending time with her. They had built a comfortable life together, and on the surface, it seemed like he had everything he could want.
But despite his efforts to convince himself that he was happy, there was a nagging feeling in the back of his mind. He couldn't shake the feeling that something was missing, that he was simply going through the motions of a relationship without feeling the deep connection he had felt with you. But stubborn as ever, he tried to ignore the feeling, focusing instead on the positive aspects of his life with Evie.
But then, one day while running errands in Diagon Alley, he saw you again. Somehow you’d grown even more beautiful with age, and you carried yourself with that same confidence he’d grown to love, the same glint of cheekiness in your eyes. It had been years since he had last seen you, and he had convinced himself that he was over you. But as soon as he laid eyes on you, he knew that wasn't true. But he could see you had moved on as well with another man, and from what he could tell, you were happy. The jealousy that he felt was both shocking and overwhelming. He couldn't believe that he had let you go, that he had given up on something so special.
As you passed by him, your eyes met for a brief moment, and Sebastian could see a flicker of recognition in your expression, but the moment passed quickly, and you and your companion disappeared into the crowded streets of Diagon Alley.
You had had moved on with a new partner, Graham, as you tried to put the pieces of your heart and your life back together. But even after all these years, there was still a part of you that missed Sebastian. Graham was a good man and he treated you well, but you’d always known there was something missing, a spark that you had felt with Sebastian that you couldn’t replicate. When you saw that day in Diagon Alley for the first time in years, your heart skipped a beat; Sebastian looked older, but still as handsome as ever. He had grown out his hair a little, and it was now styled in a messy but charming way that suited him, and he had a faint smattering stubble on his chin. He was wearing a simple white shirt and black trousers, but he carried himself with the same charisma and charm you remembered. You composed yourself, not wanting to show your emotions too openly, despite your heart racing with nerves. You wondered if he still thought of you, the way you did him.
As you parted ways and went back to your respective lives, thoughts of each other consumed you both. You found yourself thinking about him more and more, wondering what could have been if things had gone differently all those years ago, and he started to notice the flaws in his current relationship with Evie, the things that he had been ignoring for so long.
Weeks later, Evie had sent to Diagon Alley for a few rare potion ingredients. As he walked down the cobbled street, he couldn't help but think about you and the way his heart had leapt when he saw you again. When he saw the quaint coffee shop up ahead, he decided to take a moment to gather his thoughts and try to clear his head. As he walked through the door, the smell of freshly brewed coffee and baked goods filled his senses. And then he froze in his tracks as he saw you sitting at a table in the corner, alone, sipping on a steaming cup of tea. You looked up and your eyes met his once again, this time holding a longer, more intense gaze. Sebastian's heart skipped a beat as he made his way over to your table, the butterflies in his stomach fluttering more and more with every step.
The moment felt surreal, like time had slowed down, and you took a moment to just take him in. He had a nervous energy about him, his hands fidgeting with his shirt sleeves. His hair was styled differently from the last time you saw him, but it suited him just as well, and his eyes were just as captivating as you remembered.
"Hi," he said, a little breathlessly, as he approached your table. "Is it okay if I sit down?"
You nodded, a soft smile on your lips as you pulled out the chair opposite you. "Of course, please do," you said, trying to keep your tone light and casual despite the way your heart was racing in your chest. You couldn't believe that fate had brought the two of you together again after all these years, and you were filled with a mix of nervous excitement and trepidation.
Sebastian hesitantly sat down across from you, his eyes never leaving yours, and you could see the emotions playing across his freckled face as he struggled to find the right words. "It's... good to see you again," he finally managed, his voice soft and uncertain. "I wasn't sure if... if you remembered me."
You laugh, feeling a sudden surge of affection for him. "Oh, come on Sebastian. How could I forget?" Your tongue tingles – you hadn’t spoken his name in so long.
A hint of a smile tugged at the corners of his lips, the sound of his name leaving your lips making his legs feel weak, the tension in his shoulders easing. "I'm glad," he said, and he can’t stop himself from quietly adding, “Because I certainly haven't forgotten you."
The sincerity in his voice makes your heart skip a beat, and you clear your throat to get rid of that silly little lump that has formed, "So, what have you been up to the past few years?" you ask.
As Sebastian begins to recount his adventures and experiences since you last saw him, you find yourself hanging onto every word, fascinated by the stories he had to tell. He had traveled the world, met new people, and even dabbled in a bit in the muggle world, which you never would have expected from him. And yet, despite all the changes in his life, he still had the same mischievous grin and easy laugh that you had always loved about him.
“And… how is Evie?” You find yourself asking, trying to maintain a lighthearted tone.
Sebastian folds his hands in front of him on the table, brown eyes fixed on them, “She’s doing well.” He tells you quietly.
“That’s good,” You say with a nod, wrapping your own hands around your now-cool mug of tea.
“And what about you?” He’s asking, “Are things going okay?”
It’s funny how those few words coming from his lips cause something inside you to crack. You don’t trust yourself to speak right away, afraid that your voice will betray you, so you simply look up at him, holding his deep gaze in yours.
His brow knits together slightly, and he nods knowingly “Yeah.”
A few beats of silence pass, an unspoken understanding filling the space between you. You glance past Sebastian towards the windows, noticing that the streets are now turning a warm shade of orange as the sun begins to set.
"It's getting late." You tell him quietly.
Sebastian nods, the crease between his eyebrows deepening as he fixes his gaze onto his lap. He chews on his lip for a moment before building the courage to meet your gaze, "Sometimes... I wish she was you."
The words hit you like a freight train and you're not sure what to say, the confession catching you off guard. You stare at Sebastian, searching for any sign of hesitation or doubt, but all you find is a raw vulnerability in his eyes.
"I don't know what to say," you finally manage, your voice barely above a whisper.
Sebastian nods, his eyes never leaving yours. "I know," he says softly, "I didn't mean to put you on the spot. It's just... well it's just the truth." He sighs, "I should have been honest with you back then too. Back in seventh year. I know it's too late for an apology, and I don't expect you to ever forgive me, y/n. But the truth is I was terrified you wouldn't be happy with me. I always thought you deserved better... and I thought if I did something drastic you would be forced to move on from me."
As Sebastian speaks, you can see the weight of his confession taking its toll on him. His shoulders slump slightly, and his fingers fidgeting. You can feel his pain and regret, and you feel as though you've been transported back in time, your heart breaking all over again. But this time, it's not for yourself. It's for him. Without thinking, you reach across the table and take his hand in yours. His skin is warm and slightly calloused from years of wandwork. You give his larger hand a gentle squeeze, hoping to convey a sense of understanding and compassion. You want to take away his pain, to help him heal from the wounds of the past.
Sebastian looks up at you, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. You can feel the electricity between you, the raw emotion and unspoken longing that hangs in the air.
"I always wish he was you." You admit finally, tears beginning to well in your eyes as well.
Neither of you say anything, the weight of your words hanging heavily in the air between you. The two of you sit in silence for awhile longer, lost in your own thoughts as the sky outside turns from orange to pink.
"I guess we never really moved on, did we?" Sebastian murmurs.
You shake your head slowly, a lump forming in your throat. "I don't think we ever did," you reply, your voice barely above a whisper.
Sebastian reaches across the table and takes your other hand in his, the warmth of his touch radiating through your skin. The feeling of his skin against yours is so familiar, it's as if the last time you touched was yesterday. You take a deep breath, trying to steady your emotions. "I dream of you sometimes."
Sebastian's grip on your hand tightens slightly, and he leans in closer, his gaze never leaving yours. "What kind of dreams?" he asks softly.
You hesitate for a moment, unsure if you should reveal the intimate details to him, but something in Sebastian's eyes tells you that he genuinely wants to know, that he's not just prying for the sake of curiosity.
"In my dreams, we're together," you confess, the words tumbling out of your mouth before you can even think to stop them, "We're happy."
Sebastian's eyes soften, a hint of a mischievous smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "I dream of that too," he admits. "I dream of a life where I wasn't an idiot, where we were always together." He says, only half joking.
For a moment, you both forget about the past and the pain it caused. All that matters is this moment, this connection between the two of you that has never truly gone away.
"I never want to wake up from those dreams." You say, a tear rolling down your cheek.
Sebastian's thumb gently strokes the back of your hand, sending shivers down your spine. "Me neither."
As the evening draws to a close and the sky darkens, you realize that you don't want this to end. You want to stay in this moment forever, with Sebastian by your side, his hand in yours. The café staff starts closing up, and you glance at the clock and realize that it's late, and that you should probably start making your way back home.
Sebastian seems to sense your thoughts, and reluctantly releases your hand. "I guess we should get going," he says softly.
You nod, not trusting yourself to speak without your voice breaking. You both stand up from the table, and gather your things. As you make your way to the door, you can feel Sebastian's presence beside you, his warmth emanating from his body. As you step out into the cool night air, you turn to face him. "Sebastian," you say softly, "I-" But you don't get the chance to finish.
Sebastian steps forward and places a hand on your cheek, his eyes filled with an intensity that you've only seen in your dreams. He leans in slowly, giving you a chance to pull away if you want to, but you don't. You want this. You want him. And so you close your eyes and let yourself get lost in the moment.
As his lips meet yours, a jolt of electricity shoots through your body. It's as if a part of you that has been dormant for so long has suddenly come alive. His kiss is soft, but passionate, his lips moving against yours with a gentle urgency that makes your heart race.
You respond in kind, your hands reaching up to tangle in his hair as you deepen the kiss. It feels like coming home, like all the pieces of your broken heart are finally being mended. You don't know how long you stay like that, lost in the embrace, but eventually, you have to pull away, gasping for air.
As you open your eyes, you see that Sebastian is looking at you with a mixture of awe and tenderness. "I've wanted to do that for so long," he whispers, his forehead resting against yours.
You smile, feeling a warmth spread through your chest. "Me too," you reply, feeling like the luckiest person in the world. For the first time in a long time, you feel alive, and you can't wait to see what the future holds.