Mary
Mary doesn’t know when it happened. She had already noticed her on the train platform. Orange had always been her favorite color, and Lily's hair stood out against the students' black robes.
They didn’t sit together on train or boat. They didn’t go through The Sorting Hat together. Mary watched as a redhead girl with plump, ruddy cheeks was sorted into Gryffindor, but she didn't think she'd end up there herself. Her parents always told her she was arrogant and saucy, but they didn't tell her she was brave. Courage in the muggle world has always been reserved for boys.
Fortunately, The Sorting Hat doesn’t care about the stereotypes of any world.
Mary sat down at the Gryffindor table, across from the redhead girl.
‘’Hi’’ she said, looking at Mary. ‘’I’m Lily. Lily Evans.’’
‘’Hello. My name is-‘’ she started, but the small blonde girl fell hard into the seat next to Mary.
‘’Fucking hell! It was stressful,’’ she said loudly. ‘’Bet we’ll be in the dorm together? I’m McKinnon. Marlene McKinnon.’’
‘’Do you really have to swear?’’ Lily asked. Mary had to admit that the girl looked a little disgusted by Marlene’s ostentatious behawior.
‘’I didn’t know I brought my parents here. What’s your name?’’
‘’She is Lily Evans. I’m Mary Macdonalds.’’ Mary replied quickly because Lily looked like she was about to continue the swearing topic. Lily was probably right, an eleven year old girl shouldn't swear, though Mary wasn't sure what was appropriate in the wizarding world.
Everything was so new to her.
She watched everything with wide eyes. Lily had a similar reaction. Marlene paid no attention to anything. It looked as if she was looking for someone in the crowd.
‘’Oi, Potter! You've finally joined me. I thought you had already changed your mind and decided to stay in Slytherin,’’ Marlene screamed, snapping Mary out of her thoughts.
Potter laughed. Mary focused on Lily, who got sad and looked towards the Slytherin table. Interesting, Mary thought.
Marlene was raight. The three of them was roommates. Remembering those times, Mary can’t believe how naive they were. She wishes a lost shirt or used conditioner would be her biggest problem. For seven years at Hogwarts, the entire group thought they were invicible. They thought they had their whole lives ahead of them.
Lily was her first friend. Marlene was hard to make friends with. She already knew a lot of people from Hogwarts. She was friends with Peter and James since they were babies.
Lily was the first person Mary noticed on the platform. Lily was the first to introduce herself to her in Hogwarts. Lily made Mary open to the magical world.
In the second year they were friends with Marlene.
In the third, they started to form a harmonious pack with the boys.
In her fouth year, Mary started dating.
In her fifth year, she realized that Lily wasn’t just her roomate and friend.
It was the first potions class after Christmas. Slughorn paired her with Lily. Everyone really wanted to be with her. Lily gave the other person simple tasks like cutting something or measuring it, and handled most of the potion herself.
Mary had plenty of time to observe her. How she stirred the cauldron, how she tucked her long hair behind her ear…
As she added another ingredient, she glanced at Mary, smiling amiably. Mary always loved Lily's smile. Everyone said James was cheerful and like the sun, but Lily was the sun to her. Lily gave you the same feeling as a sunset on a summer day. She didn't dazzle with her confidence like Potter. She gave a sense of security, because it was certain that Lily would always be and always able to help.
That smile on that round, freckled face.
Red hair that had surprisingly not yet landed in the cauldron when Lily bent over it.
Big, green eyes that always looked curiously at the world and people. Rarely they showed negative feelings towards the other person. Mary didn't think she'd ever be able to look into those eyes when they were full of tears. But that happened later, and Mary can't forget it.
For that moment, during this lesson, her mouth forms an "o" and a soft gasp escapes her lips.
‘’Everything alright?’’ Lily asked frowning.
‘’Yeah, yes- Alright. Nothing. Do what you did.’’
I love you.
Just over a month later, due to Valentine’s Day, Potter publicly tried his luck with Evans again.
At breakfast he showered her with roses and serenaded her. Potter be damned, but for some reason, he sang really well. At this point, Mary thought that Potter simply had a knack for anything but impressing Lily Evans.
Lily declined his invitation to go on a date.
Her face was redder than her hair as she said: ‘’Potter, stop it.’’
Then she hurried out of breakfast without touching a single sandwitch. Mary wrapped the sandwitches in a napkin and followed her.
It was the first of three times she’d seen Lily cry like this.
‘’Lily, hey you. Where are these tears from?’’ Mary said softly, approaching Lily as if she were a timid doe.
Lily was covering her tear-stained face with her knees, so Mary snuggled up to her side rather awkwardly. After a moment, Lily leaned over to her, resting her head on her chest.
The thing is, they've been accidentally touching each other for a month. Light touches of hands or fingers, bumps of arms, kicks under the table. Lily wasn’t cuddly person like Mary, so Mary respected her space. And it may be the first time they've sat huddled in silence for so long.
‘’I don’t know why he is he doing this.’’
‘’He is trying to woo you, Lils.’’
‘’Yeah, but why me?’’
‘’What do you mean?’’
Lily lifted her head and looked Mary in the eyes incomprehension. Her face showed signs of tears, but was no longer red.
‘’Um, I’m fat, Mary. I’m not as pretty as you or Marlene. Why not Marlene?’’
Mary shifted and her bracelets jingled.
‘’You are beautiful, Lily. I don’t have the reason why Potter wouldn’t want to go out with you. Truly, you are smart, funny and you make better pranks than him because you don’t get caught. You think he doesn't know who put the growth potion in the pumpkin juice after they made fun of Peter? The Slytherins were as tall as elves for a week, it was amazing! And you’re really pretty. Have you seen your eyes?’’ Mary said, looking into the distance.
When she looked up at Lily, she was blushing.
‘’I want to see myself as you see me.’’
‘’You know I’m being honest, right? Just believe, me, Lils.’’
Lily nodded and smiled slightly. A moment later, Marlena returned to the dormitory and everything was as before. Lily pulled away from her completely and Mary missed her hug.
The fifth year was full of drama. In May, James, Sirius and Remus had an argument and none of the girls could get anything out of them. They were so unhappy. Lily only found out that it had something to do with Severus Snape. She said he was spreading strange rumors and she wasn't going to repeat such nonsense.
Severus Snape was a reason Mary saw Lily cry a second time. Mary wasn't quite sure what happened when. Did that moron call her a mudblood first, and then the situation with the boys happened? Was it the other way around? Were they defending Lily?
Lily took Severus' words hard, even though their friendship had been shaky for over a year.
After crying her tears over it, she vowed never to have anything to do with him again.
Mary didn't want to imagine how painful that must be. Snape was the first person from the magical world for Lily. He protected her from her sister and from other children. He made her feel safe that she wasn't a freak just to offend her even worse.
Mary might have been more focused on the sequence of events if it hadn't been for that one almost summer day that happened shortly after the whole Snape thing.
This was their last outgoing to Hogsmeade. The O.W.Ls were behind them and the holidays ahead. Lily promised a meeting with Remus, so Mary decided to go out with a sixth year Ravenclaw boy. Marlena was going to go practice Quidditch because she had been on the team this year and they had a final match ahead of them.
The date was unsuccessful. The boy was explaining to Mary why bat wings are so important in many magical ceremonies. She was sure she'd rather be in a history of magic class with Binns.
‘’Listen, I’m sorry, but I got a huge headache. Can we go back to the castle?’’ she asked.
The boy didn't even notice the excuse, he just nodded and continued talking about the next ingredient.
The common room was empty, and it was no wonder, because the weather was inviting to spend time by the lake. Mary, however, had to go to the dormitory to maintain her excuse of being sick.
Mary didn't expect to find Marlene McKinnon and Dorcas Meadowes kissing rather passionately in the dorm.
‘’Fucking hell, Mary!’’ Marlene shouted. ‘’Don’t sneak like that!’’
‘’It is my dorm too, McKinnon.’’
‘’Give us a minute,’’ she muttered, buttoning her shirt. She missed one button and had to correct it.
Mary focused her gaze on Dorcas, who didn’t show embarrassment. She seemed composed, which Mary internally admired. She just hoped Meadowes hadn't been in many situations like this which made her not care or that she didn't care about Marlene. It would be a death sentence, Mary would kill her without hesitation if she hurt Marlene.
‘’Dorcas, love, I’ll see you later, okay?’’
‘’ It's not the best situation, but at least you'll finally talk to your roommates. See you.’’
She kissed Marlene quickly and left the dormitory.
Mary raised her eyebrows.
‘’So?’’
Blond girl looked at her uncertainly.
‘’What do you think about lesbians?’’ she asked.
Mary snorted. She walked over to her friend and hugged her.
Mary was happy for Marlene. After years of friendship, she became like a sister to her and Mary wished her the best.
Therefore, jealousy towards Marlene’ relationship with Dorcas was her big secret.
Mary had been dating for several years. She has been in many relationships, even with Sirius Black.
Only the relationship with Black seemed to have any future for her, but it still wasn't it.
It was always not enough. It didn't fit. It wasn't the feeling of butterflies in the stomach. None of the relationships caused Mary to blush and not sleep at night. Unfortunately, she knew who was the person who could put her in such a state. What's more - Lily put her in such a state even without being in a relationship.
After Marlene made her coming out to Lily, Dorcas became a regular visitor to their dormitory. And Mary watched the whispers, the kind words and the sweet kisses.
This made her go on even more dates in the sixth year. She also knew what other students were saying about her. People think that if they don't say something to her face, she won’t know. She heard right behind her: slut, whore, harlot.
As if Sirius Black didn't do the same back in the day. But this was different, ‘’Boys will be boys’’.
It was late when Mary returned to the dorm after dating a seventh year boy from Hufflepuff. She didn't expect the little lamp to be on and Lily to be sitting on her bed reading. Marlene was with Dorcas that night.
Lily's tired eyes looked up from her book as she heard the click of Mary's heels.
‘’You came back late.’’
‘’Yeah, it was a good date.’’ she admitted. Mary didn't know Lily could tell because her lipstick was heavily smeared.
‘’Boyfriend material?’’
‘’Nah. Boy for fun material.’’
Mary started taking off her heels and looking for her pajamas to go take a shower. She could feel Lily’s eyes on her.
‘’Have I done something wrong?’’ Lily asked.
‘’What? Where is this question from?’’
Lily closed the book and walked over to Mary, who was halfway to the bathroom. She grabbed her hand and looked down. She seemed to be concentrating on choosing her words well and carefully.
‘’I don’t know. I feel like you're avoiding me. We talk less to each other. We hardly ever see each other.’’
‘’No, Lily, sorry if you feel this way. I didn’t-‘’ She felt a lump in her throat. She didn't think Lily felt a difference in her behavior. ‘’We can go to Hogsmeads together tomorrow, what do you say?’’
Lily’s eyes lit up.
‘’You don’t have a date tomorrow?’’
‘’You are more important than any of my dates.’’
Lily let go of her hand, and Mary felt the warmth of her hand go away.
‘’I’ll go take a shower now.’’
‘’Sure, go, I'll finish reading, and when you get back, I'll turn off the light.’’
Mary grabbed her pajamas and went to the bathroom.
Marlene was at quidditch practice again. Everyone cried after Frank Longbottom graduated from Hogwarts and left the captain's seat vacant. The team cried and breathed a sigh of relief because Frank was giving them a hard time.
However, from the sixth year, James became captain. Potter got up at four in the morning every day to practice. Training was even more frequent than with Frank and even more demanding. Marlene spent an incredible number of hours on the pitch.
Mary and Lily are back in high spirits from Hogsmeads. Mary felt guilty because they really were behind on their life stories.
‘’I have an idea,’’ Lily said.
‘’Go on.’’
Mary took off her outer robe and threw herself on her bed.
Lily began searching for something in her trunk. She must have dipped her hands deep because this thing was at the very bottom.
When she had retrieved the thing, she held it up in a triumphant gesture. Mary opened her mouth wide in pure shock.
‘’Wine, Evans? Naughty, naughty girl,’’ Mary muttered contentedly.
This wine was gross and strong. They managed to drink half a bottle before they started thinking what to do when they were tipsy.
‘’Let’s go to the kitchen for some food, please,’’ Mary whined.
‘’No! What if someone sees us?’’ Lily looked ad Macdonald. ‘’Oh, stop pounting. Come here, I’ll paint your nails.’’
Mary smiled at once and staggered over to Lily's bed.
‘’Choose color, Lils.’’
Lily chose a plum color. Mary wore lipstick in a similar color yesterday. In fact, she never found out if that color choice was accidental or related.
The girls had a lot of fun. Mary kept moving her hands, and Lily couldn't quite paint straight.
‘’Don’t move!’’
Mary fanned her fingers to tease Lily. Lily, trying to paint her nails, hit the nail polish vial with her other hand.
‘’Oh, shit.’’
Everything happened quickly. Nail polish spilled onto the sheets and onto the carpet. Lily tried a cleaning charm, but the flick of her wand was too drunk and it rubbed the paint even more.
The girls looked at the mess, then at each other, then at the mess again. They started laughing.
‘’Oi, Evans. You have nail polish even on your cheek,’’ Mary said.
Without thinking, she grabbed Lily's chin and tried to remove the polish with her thumb. She really didn't realize how close they were until they both took shaky breaths. Mary looked closely at Lily's face. Lily's eyes were fixed on Mary's lips.
Later, as they talked about that moment, Lily swore that it was Mary who approached her. But according to Mary, it was Lily who crossed the inches between them and kissed her.
It's not important. Lily's lips were always soft. It was so different from any kisses she'd ever had. Every kiss from Lily was worth its weight in gold.
Lily was worth the gold of the world.
When they pulled away from each other, Mary said:
‘’You are really beautiful, flower.’’
‘’Flower?’’ Lily snorted. ‘’I like you.’’
Mary didn't know where to focus her eyes. She stared at those slightly furrowed, red eyebrows. On the freckles on the nose. For long eyelashes and green eyes. The sweet lips she had kissed a moment ago.
She barely heard what Lily said to her. But her heart made it clear that she heard it, because it fluttered harder.
‘’I like you too. Very much. All of you.’’
Lily smiled and Mary felt like she had caught the most beautiful sunset.
Their seventh year was not what Mary expected.
Voldemort grew in power and had more and more followers. You could feel it at Hogwarts. The Slytherins were ruthless and, in addition to verbal violence, more and more often threw various curses. Mary really started to fear for her and Lily's lives.
They never walked alone in the castle again. They spent most of their time in the common room and didn’t go out to the lake.
The word war hung in the air.
‘’Remus has his first mission.’’ Lily said, when she came back from studying with Lupin. Mary and Marlene looked at her.
‘’Is it dangerous?’’ Mary asked.
‘’Partly yes. It will only get worse. Sirius freaks out because he can't join him.’’
‘’Why Remus?’’ Marlene frowned.
‘’I don’t know.’’ Lily lied. Mary knew when Lily was lying. It wasn't her business to find out the truth about it. Lily obviously had her reasons.
‘’After Hogwarts, I and Dorcas also want missions. We’ll join the Order of the Phoenix.’’
‘’Are you kidding?’’ Mary reacted.
What scared her even more was that Lily didn't react. ‘’Lily?’’
‘’I think I’ll join too. All the boys will be on Dumbledore's side too. We must fight so that people like me, like us, can live normally.’’
‘’You can die. It's ridiculous. We shouldn't get involved in missions in war. We are only seventeen.’’
‘’It’s ridiculous to you, Mary. Not for me,’’ Lily snarked.
‘’ If you want to die, I won't watch it’’, Mary said.
She left slamming the door.
Mary began avoiding the dorm. When Marlene had practice, she would sit by the pitch for long hours, so as not to be alone with Lily.
She also went to the library, but she knew there was too much of a chance of meeting Evans there.
After a week and a half, Lily found her by the pitch. Mary was sure Marlene had finally admitted to Lily where Mary was disappearing. Bitch.
‘’Can we talk?’’
‘’I don’t know if we have anything to discuss.’’
‘’Mary, please.’’
Mary took a deep breath and gritted her teeth. There was silence for a moment. She watched as Potter pointed to the other players and said something to them.
‘’Speak then.’’
‘’I don’t want to argue with you. I know it’s a tough topic, but but we have over half a year at Hogwarts. I don't want to remember seventh year as arguing with you.’’
Mary finally found her Gryffindor courage to look at her. Her beautiful green eyes were already full of tears.
‘’You haven’t changed your mind?’’
‘’No, but-‘’
‘’There isn’t but here, Lily,’’ she interrupted her. ‘’ I told you I won't watch you all die. I can't watch the woman I love die on a suicide mission. What if I don't even have a body left to bury you?’’
‘’Woman you love?’’ she asked. Her eyes were full of hope.
‘’Of course, I love you. It isn’t a point what I said.’’
‘’I love you too, Mary. I don’t want to lose you.’’
‘’Then don’t join the Order.’’
Lily didn’t look hopeful anymore.
‘’Mary.’’
‘’You know that my boggart is to be left alone. Losing everyone. Why are you trying to make this possible?’’
‘’Stop it, Mary. At least I'm trying to do something. At least I am brave enough to make a tough decision,’’ she snapped. Mary saw those tears streaming down her cheeks, so incompatible with the cool tone of her voice.
‘’Snape loves you and still treats you like a mudblood. What do you think people who hate you will do to you in the war? You have so many enemies. You beat pureblood wizards in O.W.L.s. Do you think if they see you they'll let you live? That they won't torture you? Do you read newspapers at all?’’
‘’Don’t use that word. You know how I hate it.’’
‘’ You think the word mudblood is your biggest problem?’’ Mary laughed. It wasn't a pleasant laugh. There would be no joy there.
‘’Why are you so cruel?’’
‘’They are all purebloods. James, Sirius, Peter, Marlene... You're the one who gives yourself a target on the back,’’ Mary said. ‘’I'd rather end this now than watch you die.’’
Lily didn't answer. She didn't seem to be able to, shocked by Mary's words. Mary herself could not believe what she had just said. She didn't even notice that she was crying too. Even then, she regretted her words, and each day she regretted them more and more.
She was so afraid. She preferred to distance herself to keep her fears as low as possible. She didn't want to lose Lily. She didn't want to lose friends. She was just trying to stop time.
Nobody can live without the sun. No one can survive the sunrise if there is no sunset.
Lily
She didn't know how long she sat there where Mary left her. The heat spell dissipated, causing Lily's hands to freeze. She couldn't stop crying.
Mary loved her. Mary left her.
‘’Evans?’’ Lily heard behind her. ‘’What happened?’’
Potter looked very worried.
‘’Shall I go for Marlene?’’
‘’No. I can handle. Mary needs Marlene.’’
‘’Who do you need?’’
Lily burst into tears.
‘’I’m sorry, James. I just- I need Mary, but she won’t come. She left me.’’
He gasped.
‘’Oh, Lily. I’m so sorry,’’ he sounded so sincrely. ‘’Do you need a hug?’’
‘’Is that your recipe for everything bad?’’
‘’Funny choice of words because my mum says hugs heal.’’
Lily finally nodded. James gave her a very bearlike hug.
‘’Can I tell you a secret? But nobody knows and you can't mention it to anyone.’’
‘’I know what secrets are, Potter,’’ Lily said.
‘’My heart was broken a month ago too. I know what you feel.’’
‘’James, you never ask for help. I can’t believe you are going through this alone,’’ she sighed.
The boy thought for a moment.
‘’It’s very complicated, but everything leads to war.’’
‘’Yeah, we haven't even joined for good, and the war is already taking a lot away from us.’’
Once Lily realized James was over her, their relationship got better. Head Boy and Head Girl duties became a nice distraction.
She started spending more time with James in the common room and it was noticed. Sirius made stupid comments and Peter whistled at the sight of them. Remus looked pleased to see them. Lupin had always been too smart for his own good.
Three months after breaking up with Mary, Marlene asked:
‘’Are you dating Potter?’’
‘’Marlene, are you lose your mind? No. We are just friends.’’
Marlene didn’t look convinced.
Mary was watching her too. Mostly in class, because she disappeared during the day and no one knew where she was. She withdrew completely from the group. Lily overheard Emmelina Vance talking to her about mutual friends from Hufflepuff.
Mary didn’t ask her about the nature of Lily and James' relationship. And though she tried to hide it, Lily could see sparks of jealousy. But that didn't count. It wasn't her Mary.
‘’Have you thought about what your life after Hogwarts will be like?’’ Potter asked.
‘’A bit. I want to go to a healing course.’’
‘’What about home?’’
Lily fell into a pensive mood over it.
‘’I don’t know. I can’t bring the war to my parent’s house.’’
‘’I have a suggestion, but don’t laugh at me. Think about it. Maybe we'll live together? Although until the end of the war.’’
‘’What about Sirius, Remus and Peter?’’ she asked.
‘’Sirius and Remus want their own apartment. Peter's parents have already bought him a studio apartment, and I can't fit in it. I don't want to go back to my parents' house either. I don't want them to see me after the mission if anything happens, but I don't want to be hurt alone in the flat either.’’
‘’So you found yourself a future Healer to live with?’’ she teased him, hitting him lightly with her elbow.
‘’Do I hear a yes, Evans?’’
‘’ Exceptionally. The only "yes" you can hear.’’
They laughed.
‘’Regulus Black who has been missing for a month has been presumed dead after an intense investigation.’’
Lily heard a scream. It was the most heartbreaking scream she had ever heard. She dropped the laundry and ran into the other room.
''James. James. What happened?'' she asked.
He couldn't answer. He had another panic attack. His hands were shaking, tears were streaming down his cheeks, and his eyes... Lily had never seen James look so sad.
‘’Inhale. Exhale. Calm breaths, James. We practiced it. Inhale. Exhale.’’
James rocked himself like a baby, but he listened to her voice and tried to steady his breathing.
Lily didn't know how much time she spent with him on the floor. She didn't know what had happened, but she could guess.
‘’He’s dead,’’ he whispered.
‘’He? Sirius?’’ Lily asked.
‘’Regulus.’’
‘’Regulus Black?’’ She frowned. ‘’He was your it’s complicated?’’
He nodded.
Potter hadn’t previously mentioned who he was in a relationship with. He didn't even mention it was a boy. That explained a lot.
‘’Oh, James. I’m so sorry, dear.’’ She specifically used the word ‘’dear’’ because James always snorted at them. Not this time.
When James fell asleep from exhaustion, Lily sent an owl to everyone that they both had a cold and that no one would come to their apartment for the next week.
She also wrote one letter too many for Marlene and Dorcas. Both had died three months earlier at the hands of an unknown Death Eater. Rumor has it that this is a traitor to the Order of the Phoenix.
The truth is, they both drank and smoked a lot of joints that week. She needed it too.
It was probably the fourth day after the end of the investigation was announced when James said:
‘’I love you, Lily.’’
She looked at him with pity.
‘’I love you too, James. But not like that.’’
‘’Yeah,’’ he said. ‘’I am not Mary, you aren’t-‘’
‘’No, we aren’t.’’
‘’But I want to feel something. Don’t you feel empty?’’
‘’I don’t know. I’m just tired, James.’’
‘’Me too.’’
They fell silent to take good gulps from their bottles. They didn’t bother getting the glasses dirty.
‘’I’ve never had sex with a boy,’’ she admitted.
‘’I’ve never had sex with a girl.’’
It was a quick decision. There was no tenderness in their movements.
In the end, all they felt was longing for what they had lost.
Harry James Potter was born on July 31, 1980.
He made Lily and James feel unimaginable love. They didn't think they'd ever experience such a generous feeling. They didn't think there was room for so much love in their hearts. Little Harry brought out all the best in the entire Order.
The entire Order of the Phoenix was also revived because of their wedding. James and Lily knew they couldn't replace Regulus and Mary. They also knew that marriage would boost morale and create a decent family for Harry.
They didn't know that these were their last bits of happiness.
James died first.
Lily died next.
James and Lily Potter died on October 31, 1981.
Mary
After Hogwarts, Mary found work in the muggle world. She worked in a clothes shop. It was quite close to magical London. A lot of wizards came here to dress more like muggles.
She had seen a surprising number of wizards that day. All of London was electrified by magic. The air was full of owls with letters.
Deep down she felt that the war was over.
She hadn't been to the magical part of London in two years. After work, however, she overcame herself and went to the other side of the city.
People were extremely happy. They shouted all sorts of things. They threw flowers. Fireworks exploded in the sky every now and then.
Mary spotted Hagrid in the crowd.
‘’Hagrid!’’ she shouted. Luckily he heard her.
‘’Blimey, Mary! Have you heard? Voldemort is dead!’’
‘’How is it? Dumbledore defeated him?’’
Hagrid took on a more serious face.
‘’Blimey, you really don’t know anything. Listen, Mary, I don’t know how to say it. He was defeated by Harry Potter.’’
‘’Who is Harry Potter?’’
He looked at her as if she had grown a second head.
‘’Son of Lily and James Potter, of course.’’
Mary got a bad feeling.
‘’How could a child defeat Voldemort?’’
‘’I don’t know Mary. But we must enjoy. Blimey, I just feel sorry for James, Lily and Peter. Did you hang out with them at school? I’m really sorry, blimey.’’
‘’What about them?’’
‘’They died.’’
Mary didn't hear what he was saying next. Her ears started ringing and she couldn't breathe. She fell to her knees.
Lily is dead.
‘’What about Remus? Where he is?’’ she asked a few hours later.
Hagrid took her to a room in some run-of-the-mill motel. At some point, she probably fell asleep, but she doesn't know, she doesn't remember anything from a dozen or so hours ago. Only the words "Lily is dead" bounce around in her head.
‘’There is no contact with him. He'll be back in two days from his mission.’’
‘’He doesn’t know,’’ she whispered. ‘’Where is Harry?’’
‘’I took him to Lily’s sister.’’ Mary nodded. ‘’When you're ready to go back to the magical world, come and visit me for coffee. I’ll wait for you.’’
‘’Of course, Hagrid. Thank you.’’
She knew when to call Remus exactly. I'm doing this for Lily and James, she thought.
“Hello?” She heard voice in earphone.
“Hello? Hello, Remus, is that you?”
“Mary? Hi! I just got back - where the hell is everybody?!”
There was a strange silence on the end of the phone. Mary wasn't sure where to begin. “Mary?!”
“You haven’t heard…” she sighed, knowing that she really was the first person to bring the news.
“Jesus Christ, Mary, what?!”
“Remus… something awful has happened.”
She started explaining, and Remus screamed.
Mary watched for a couple of days house at 4 Privet Drive.
The couple who lived there didn’t seem balanced to her. Petunia was exactly as bad as Lily described her.
Despite a few day, she still hadn't seen Harry's face. It was a fairly sunny winter's day when Petunia went for a walk with her two boys. They both sat in a double stroller.
Mary decided to take advantage of the day. Petunia noticed her as she approached. If she were a cat, she would have bristled at the sight of her. Mary wasn't sure if she recognized it from photos Lily probably had in her bedroom at the family home.
‘’Can I help you?’’ she asked, ominously enough to make Mary not want to ask for help.
Mary ignored her and walked over to the stroller.
Oh, he looks like little James.
Oh my God. He has her eyes.
‘’Take care of him,’’ she mumbled. Her heart burned with pain.
He has her eyes.
She is dead.
James is dead. Marlene is dead. Dorcas is dead. Peter is dead. Sirius is in Azkaban.
It burns. Such pain makes a man feel that her insides are on fire.
Mary thinks about Lily every day, every hour and every minute.
She doesn't know how to live. She doesn't understand how her lungs can take in oxygen when she knows Lily is dead. How can her heart beat when Lily's heart stopped.
If she had a flower for every time she thought about Lily, she could walk in her garden forever. But she wanted one flower. She wants Lily.
Mary packed all the photos and souvenirs from Hogwarts.
‘’Incendio’’, she said.
She watches her past burn.
‘’Obliviate,’’ she said.
She watches into her eyes in the mirror as her life is erased from her memory.
After that, she never understands why redheads make her so sad.