Chapter 4
Every day, after class lets out, Albus makes sure he’s the first one back to the dorm room he shares with several other boys. He would rather not cry in front of them if he can help it.
Every day he cries, even on his comparatively good days. As soon as he’s alone he bursts into tears for several long minutes and today was no exception.
It had been an overall good day, he hadn’t gotten yelled at, he hadn’t gotten into trouble. Even his good days are struggles though. Everything is just so hard.
Unfortunately, in the middle of his crying session someone walked in the room, even more unfortunately, it was his only friend Scorpius Malfoy. If it was anyone else they would have just ignored Albus, they didn’t care about him, but now he has to explain himself.
Scorpius asked in concern, “Did something happen today?”
He vented, “It’s like, everyone is walking up a hill except I’m pushing an invisible bolder up the hill so because it’s invisible no one sees it but me. They ask ‘Why are so slow at climbing this hill? It’s equally steep for everyone, it’s hard for everyone. Why are you being so lazy?’ and no one believes me that I really am trying my best.”
He reassured, “You aren’t alone, everyone is struggling with their own problems.”
That just made Albus feel worse, “So, if everyone has just as much of a hard time as me then why am I the only one who can’t handle it? I’m just weak?”
He shook his head, “That’s not what I meant… Have you tried writing things down? If you can’t remember to do things it might help to make a ‘to do’ list?”
That was extremely unhelpful advice, “I’ve tried that, my memory is so bad I forget to write things down and even if I remember to write things down I forget to look at the list or I lose the list. Besides, my poor memory isn’t my only problem.”
He thought for another moment, “Isn’t there medication you can take to help?”
Albus shook his head, “I’ve begged my mother to get me medicated. She thinks I’m not bad enough to need it, she says I just need to try harder.”
Scorpius looked like he was completely at a loss, not knowing how to help him. Albus didn’t know how to help himself either. He is who he is and nothing is ever going to get better.