fighting the inevitable

He hugged Sirius for what might have been ten years, or not long at all, as time felt like it had come to a stop once the seal broke but when his hold on him slackened, Regulus pulled away, “Sirius?”

Sirius had gone dead weight, slumped against him, eyes completely shut, “Sirius?” he shook him. He had just spoken, he couldn’t be…He laid Sirius flat on the ground and put an ear to his still chest and he almost couldn’t hear it over the blood rushing through his ears but finally he heard a thump however weak and distant it was. He had already lost so much blood through the wound on his leg and with the exertion of holding the containment spell and watching over him while he had…died- whatever it was- it had finally caught up to him.

Regulus hurried to stand but he was weak and uncoordinated, forcing him to lean on the cave walls to stabilise himself, fingernails painfully digging in to find a grip with which to haul himself up. He had no choice but to get them out of here but apparition seemed impossible with the condition they were both in.

Steeling his nerves, he wound his arms under Sirius’ and dragged him out of that godsdamned tunnel, his breath coming in quick pants as his mouth tasted of iron and ozone. His face continued to bleed, the wound on his cheek refusing to coagulate, and the strain on his newly revived muscles was insurmountable. Sirius’ legs trailed after him and at one point Regulus tripped backward, only to look down and see a half-burnt skeleton in his path. He kicked it aside with revulsion.

Unwarranted, questions flew into his mind. What did it mean for him to have died and come back twice? Was he to be like a cat wherein he’d have nine lives? Or would Death unexpectedly come to him, upset at having evaded him so many times? Was his soul in one piece or spread out across different dimensional planes?

He forced these existential questions to the corner of his mind because Sirius was godsdamned heavy and the cave was too large for its own good. However, it now lay in ruins behind him, a sick and satisfying view.

Finally he made it out of the corridor and out onto the sand beach before a loud rumbling sounded and rocks tumbled from the top of the cliff, slamming down into the earth mere feet away from him. The massive boulders had blocked the entrance to the cave, effectively shutting it out from the outside world. He rather wished he had taken the locket with him before leaving- it was quite expensive, but in comparison to the Black family vault, it was worth but a knut.

He grunted then, heaving Sirius up against his front and locking their arms together, and he turned on his heel, sending them both hurtling back home.

_____________

Regulus was convinced he was losing his mind.

He didn’t know what to do or where to go and even if he did know, it was impossible because Sirius lay upstairs completely incapacitated, his face wouldn’t stop bleeding, he had splinched his leg while apparating, and if the clock on the mantle continued to audibly tick, he was going to smash it.

He sighed, scrubbing his face. The amount of uncertainty facing them was life-threatening and these next few hours would determine their entire future. He didn’t even know whether it was safe to contact St. Mungo’s or some of the Order-allied Healers for both him and his brother. He was entirely unsure whether James was even alive or not. He always had a desperate need for order in his life and now he was left empty-handed.

“Kreacher,” he gasped out, remembering the part he was supposed to have played in the dinner.

The elf appeared, though after a few long minutes, “Master Regulus,” he rushed up to him, his large eyes roving over his face and body. He cringed at his injuries but Regulus weaved away from his searching touch.

“Did you do it? Give the potion?” 

Kreacher nodded urgently and that consoled him infinitesimally. He had started doubting whether or not the others had even received Sirius’ signal that the horcruxes had been destroyed because of how late the night was stretching on. “Kreacher gave the poison and left but he is not knowing what happened after.”

Regulus nodded mutely as Kreacher summoned the Med Kit from the bathroom, pushing him back to lay on the sofa as he tended to his leg, quietly mending the gash and wiping away the remaining blood with the utmost care.

“Thank you Kreacher,” he said once he had finished, pulling the torn leg of his trouser back down. WIth another snap, the holes in his clothes had been stitched up but they were still quite filthy.

“Helping Master Regulus is what Kreacher is here to do,” he nodded, running a hand down his calf before taking up residence by the door, quietly waiting for his new master as well.

______________

He waited about an hour before giving up. He stood up suddenly, shaking his sleeping leg a bit and startling Kreacher out of the daze he had been in the silence as well.

“I need you to watch Sirius for me, check on him every hour, and if he wakes, tell him I’m fine and that I’ll be back soon, okay?” he ordered rapidly. Kreacher, who usually soured at hearing Sirius’ name, didn’t even react, immediately nodding and summoning his cloak for him. Kreacher would never show it, such a proper elf he was, but Regulus could see he was getting antsy too. 

He was out the house in a blur and it was dangerous to apparate, especially after being splinched, but he didn’t much care because James should have been back. Everybody should’ve been back now and the fact that he hadn’t heard from anyone was alarming.

He went to HQ which was just a complete and utter mess of people. Aurors and Unspeakables and ministry officials flooded the halls. He caught sight of Mary somewhere, yelling at some Healer, and when he saw Barty and Evan speaking to each other at the end of a long corridor on the first floor- he ran right into them or rather he barreled into them much like Barty had when he first arrived at Grimmauld and saw him.

Tears flooded his eyes at the relief of seeing them alive and he wasn’t all that surprised to see that they had been crying too. Barty instantly wrapped him up tight in his long arms, “We did it Reg- the bastard is actually fucking gone.”

This was the first actual confirmation he had that they’d succeeded. His knees went weak as Barty held him up, “No?” the immediate question bursting from him for how surreal it all seemed.

Evan nodded, “We all saw it. Dumbledore overpowered him with the Killing Curse. He disintegrated.” His face was rosy and he had some blood splattered across his neck but he looked otherwise whole and Regulus just put a hand on his cheek and Evan mirrored the movement, resting his forehead against his as he laughed disbelievingly.

“I can’t-,” he shook his head as euphoria swept through him, wiping out any memory of pain and suffering for the moment. He pushed his hair back and pulled, needing to make sure he could feel it or else this could all just be a dream.

Evan’s hand came back bloody from his cheek and he looked like he was going to question it but Regulus just continued, “Where’s James?”

Evan and Barty just looked at each other, realisation and confusion dawning on them both, “I haven’t seen him?” Evan questioned Barty who shook his head as well.

“What?” he asked tightly, stress and worry already creeping back in.

“I last saw him when he was er- he was fighting Yaxley,” Barty nodded but that meant nothing to him as he didn’t know what the order of tonight's events were.

“I’ll be back,” he said absently, already travelling deeper in the house. He needed to see James- to know he was okay. He just needed to do a check on everyone before he could talk to each of them and discuss the evening, he couldn’t focus on any one person yet.

Unfamiliar faces passed by in a haze but he did recognize Moody who tramped past him with a bandage and eyepatch wrapping around his head. Clearly someone had gotten a good shot in on him.

He found Remus with a Healer in the Kitchen and smiled in relief. When Remus caught sight of him mere feet away, his face broke into a weary smile, arms thrown wide and Regulus wasn’t the hugging sort, he didn’t really like physical touch, but tonight he clearly couldn’t get enough of it as he hugged Remus who was bloody and bruised. “Sirius?” he asked, already peering over his shoulder as if he was just behind him.

“He’s okay,” was all Regulus said evasively. He didn’t want to worry Remus right now, Kreacher would notify him if his condition changed.

“James?” he asked in turn.

His face turned tight, “I’ve been looking for him too, I’m not sure where he is.”

His ears filled with ringing as the Healer turned to him, saying something about helping him next but Regulus ignored him, already turning away.

He didn’t know where to go or who to look for but suddenly a door up ahead to his left swung open and out walked James, battered and confused, but whole and alive.

A whine tore its way from his throat as their eyes locked and James closed the distance between them in just a few short steps, wrapping him up in his arms and squeezing tight. Their lips crashed against one another as their limbs wrangled together in the desperate need to be closer. Their surroundings melted away, Regulus didn’t care where they were or who saw because they had finally won.

James cried into his ear, his larger body shaking against his, “You’re okay,” he laughed madly, “You’re alive.” He didn’t care that Voldemort was gone, his first question wasn’t about the horcruxes or anything else- his only priority was that he was alive and now that he saw him, he felt the same glee that Regulus had.

He pulled back and quickly grasped James’ face, his thumbs swiping away the tears that fell from his amber eyes, “We did it love, it’s over,” his own voice was full of awe as he repeated the same words everyone else had said.

And now, as they held each other, their next kiss was slower, a warm and sweet press of lips against one another as they appreciated the life that was given to them. Before it felt like they were being thrown obstacle after obstacle and they were only somehow meant to keep up but now, they were being handed a precious gift that was meant to be cherished.

“I love you so fucking much,” James murmured against him.

Regulus could hardly get the words out, “I love you more than you could ever know.”

Someone cleared their throat from behind them and as the world came back into focus, Dumbledore exited the same room James had come from. He looked worn and aged, even more than he already was, but the the corner of his withered lip turned up at the sight of them,

“Mr. Black, the Wizarding World owes you a great thanks for what you have done. You were a true trailblazer when it comes to opposing the dark forces that attempted to prevail,” he nodded, his pale blue eyes twinkling in the low light of the home. He gave no indication that he had seen any of what just went down.

“I did nothing that no one else wouldn’t have done given the opportunity,” he instead said though he wasn’t sure how true that was- he just felt the need to remain humble in his presence, especially after he had just seen him thoroughly snog James, a thought that had his face slowly heating up. “And we thank you for putting an end to Him,” he added.

He shook his head, his long hair swishing slightly, “Yes well, it was a long time coming. I oft think that I should have taken action sooner.”

James raised a hand to place on his shoulder, “It’s over now, that’s all that matters.”

The wizened man nodded and moved past them but he stopped and turned halfway on his heel, “I’m happy for you both, and the love that you both found in each other. I myself once had a similar relationship and while he and I have become distanced, I remember it all too well.” He turned fully and left, turning left out of the corridor.

A long moment of silence stretched between them as they gawked at each other until James asked, “Did Dumbledore just come out to us?”

Regulus only gave a slow nod, “I really think he did.”

They both devolved into a fit of surprised laughter, leaning against the wall in the too loud and crowded house, their hands locked together, holding them in place.

____________

His footsteps echoed through Grimmauld Place as he walked around the second floor. The walls were bare of portraits except for a select few- a quiet girl named Capella who died as a child and now spends her time in her older brother Caelum’s portrait who died a few short years before her. Both were born in the mid 1560’s and were mute but they were lovely, waving shyly at anyone that passed by. There were some more family members though they were incredibly distant and quiet but he admired the beauty and age they held, he had gotten rid of all those who spewed abuse and vitriol- he couldn’t have any of that around here any more. They weren’t quite the family friendly decor he envisioned for Grimmauld.

He left most of the tapestries, except the fiery one of the Goblin rebellion- he couldn’t stand fire anymore, a recent discovery he found when he was wrapped in James’ arms one late night in the Library and when James had absently lit the hearth to warm the space, Regulus had lost his faculties, running from the room as memories from the Cave wrapped around him and threatened to pull him under. 

His fear of fire however, led him back to the water, which he could now slowly enter if, and only if, he was holding onto James and his feet touched the bottom- it was surely slow progress but one James went on with the utmost patience.

When he reached the end of the hall, he turned towards the freshly wiped down mirror hung on the wall and his eyes immediately landed on his scarred cheek. Three swipes like claw marks raced from his cheekbone to the corner of his upper lip, courtesy of the fiery wasps. It was only ten days out from the final battle so they were still angry and red but the Healer said it was likely that they would never completely heal, only fade slightly because of the manner in which he received them. 

Dark magic always left a mark.

Such was true of the mark on his arm. It was as dark as the day he received it despite the hope he carried that it might fade after its creator's demise. He kept it covered, averting even his own eyes these days. He liked to think he didn’t care about it, or that he’d at least be able to come to terms with it, but it was a lie even to himself.

A knock rang downstairs and it pulled his attention away from his own gaunt face as he walked down the stairwell, making it halfway before seeing James who let himself in, eyeing the recently refurbished foyer.

“How is it?” he asked, making it down the final step.

James, running his finger along a new serving table, smiled, “It’s nice. I like the windows,” he pointed towards the receiving room.

Regulus had gotten rid of the drapes first for they were thick and blocked out all the sunlight. He exchanged them for gauzy blue drapes that showcased the grand windows which he had dotted with stained glass decos that reflected rainbow coloured light onto the cream coloured walls, a far cry from the previous grey. He didn’t rid the room of the furniture or anything, merely reupholstered and stained them so they would match the new room. He wanted to make it a welcoming area like it was meant to be rather than a stiff room in which he could throw guests in until they were uncomfortable enough to leave.

Regulus only eyed it, wondering what he could possibly do next to the room- though if he milled on that any more, he’d never get the rest of the house done, a task that had been taking up almost all of his time.

James had gone a bit further into the house and said, “That’s…interesting.”

When Regulus followed him, he realised that James was staring into the dining room which could barely even be called that now for it was a mess of gutted walls, paint swatches, and scaffolding. Regulus shut the door, “It’s a work in progress.”

“And you’re still refusing help are you?” he shook his head fondly.

He didn’t know why he was refusing help with the reconstruction of the House, he was hopeless at it all really. The dining room was actually the room he had first started with but when he was only causing more destruction, despite referencing multiple different books on construction he had bought at Flourish and Blotts, he moved on to the receiving area. It just didn’t feel right to call a group of wizards that could come in and fix the house in a week, making it completely unrecognisable. He felt some innate drive to fix it himself, to come in every morning and make change by his own hands, whether it be positive or negative.

Before he could respond, James checked his watch and realised the time, “It’ll start soon.”

“I still don’t know if I should go,” Regulus frowned, avoiding James’ face and looking at a spot on the wall by his head as he tried to keep his voice even.

“Reg, after what you did, the wizarding world would see you as a hero, they-.”

“They would see a marked death eater James,” he cut him off. “They don’t see me as you do, all they would see is a traitor who came out of hiding only when it was safe- they would see me as a coward.”

“Then let Dumbledore show them who you are,” he urged, stepping in closer and tilting his chin up, forcing their gaze to connect.

Dumbledore had offered him various awards and honours but Regulus turned each one of them down. He didn’t feel deserving of them, not after all he had done during the war. He simply wanted a quiet life away from it all- pomp and circumstance was unnecessary, especially in his name.

“Let’s just go lest we be late,” he defeatedly said instead because he knew even he wouldn't be so callous as to miss the memorial for all those lost during the war.

Everyone looked the same today, dressed in formal black robes, all wearing identical looks of sorrow as they filled into the atrium. He gazed up at the newly installed statue, one of the first items of business after the Ministry was reclaimed for the previous “Magic is Might” statue was a gruesome reminder of the war and all that had befallen the Ministry during Voldemort’s reign.

Now stood a statue that looked more like the original one that had been there- The Fountain of Magical Brethren however now, the inequality that underlaid the original statue had been erased. Now stood an old wizard, a muggle appearing witch, a centaur, a house-elf, and a merwoman, standing hand in hand in a circle. They were all on a pedestal in their own right at eye-level with each other. In the centre was a raised plaque that had the names of every single person who had died in the war listed upon it. Should someone call out a name, their image would appear briefly before melting away again. It was a commemoration to every being that had made up the wizarding world, and for every being that had been lost to the war.

Regulus could already see dozens of gold coins resting in the clear blue water to represent wishes that were hoped to come true. He remembered tossing a coin in there once when his father had dragged him along to the Ministry for something. He couldn’t remember what it was he had even wished for.

They met up with Remus and Sirius, the latter who had finally woken up after two agonising days of waiting, pleading, and crying at his bedside. When he awoke, all he said was, “What happened?” and asked for some food as though he hadn’t gone comatose. He was still weak however and with Regulus having finally foregone the need for a cane some time ago, he gave his old one to Sirius who had revamped it a bit, namely replacing the snake head with a lion. Regulus thought it a bit gauche and uncomfortable to grasp but Sirius stood by his design choices.

“Don’t tell me you were at that House all morning,” Sirius was already frowning when he stepped up.

“And what were you doing this morning? House hunting I hope?” Regulus tutted back.

Sirius mocked him before sheepishly turning away. They were meant to have started this weeks ago but got delayed and now Regulus took it upon himself to remind Sirius of it constantly though, despite himself, he wasn’t actually all that excited about Sirius moving out of Potter manor. In fact, Sirius had initially brought it up himself through no prompting at all, citing that he wanted a change of scenery, like they all did, and that staying at the manor was sometimes a bit too hard- all that open space with no one but them to fill it. The echoes of Effie and Monty continued to haunt both James and Sirius more than anyone else.

Though talking about something and actually doing it were two different things and so Sirius had started procrastinating.

From behind, Lily joined them, arm slung through Mary’s bandaged one. Lily had only just gotten out of St. Mungo’s, like most of everyone that had joined them on that last mission, and while most people made it out mostly okay, others hadn’t.

Lily had to have her left hand amputated after she got hit with a nasty hex that caused her flesh to decay and rot. She continued fighting long enough to take Amycus, the demon twin that had gotten her, down, but not long enough to save the hand which was unlikely even if she had received immediate medical attention. The cut was clean and magically healed and she just got fitted with a prosthetic but it would take her a long while to get used to it. For now though, her golden hand shimmered in the warm sunlight that filtered through the glass dome above them.

“I was worried we’d be late, we spent the morning with Alice and Frank,” Mary chimed in breathlessly, looking around at the gathered crowd. 

“How are they?” Remus asked tightly, his face one of sympathy like everyone’s was when it came to the pair of them.

Mary sighed, “Alice is…okay. The gaps in her memory are wide and her panic attacks are frequent but the Healers hope that they can mend her brain while using therapy for the trauma. Frank is a bit worse, considering he took most of the brunt of Bellatrix’s attack for Alice. He’s sort of comatose, he’s awake and can respond with his eyes, blinking once or twice for yes and no, but beyond that…only time will tell.”

Silence ensconced their group. Alice and Frank had it bad when Bellatrix cornered them. She pounced on them both, immediately striking at them with dark magics and took turns casting the Cruciatus at them. They refused to leave each other’s side and were now forced to pay the price for love and loyalty.

Raucous clapping tore their attention and they saw that Dumbledore had stepped up to the podium that had been raised at a dais at the back of the atrium. He raised a hand to stop the noise but the audience, still high on the glee of freedom, didn’t stop and he just smiled until they quieted, taking a deep breath when they did.

“Friends, colleagues, members of the Wizarding World- We stand here today in the face of freedom against the darkness and tyranny that threatened our very way of living. We may now enter a new era in which peace, harmony, and strength will be our guiding principles. Magic belies our strength yes, but it is our empathy and understanding which serves as our foundation. 

We have faced immense challenges that goes without saying, but our unwavering belief in each other, our resilience, our courage is what has brought us to this moment. Let us not forget that true strength lies in diversity,” he gestured to the gleaming gold fountain, “It is our different backgrounds that make us strong. 

“Let us also not forget that the fight against darkness does not end with the fall of Voldemort but it is a continued and sustained effort against bigotry and hatred. We must be vigilant not only of others, but of ourselves, for darkness breeds in the unlikeliest of places.

“We must also remember those we have lost in this war if we are to move forward. The men, women, and children who gave their lives up in this war or had it taken from them forcefully. These are the unsung heroes we must honour, in our everyday lives- let us have a moment of silence for those fallen.”

Regulus, in the face of Dumbledore’s speech, gazed out at those around him and how tears welled in their eyes as they nodded along to his speech. His own friends were much like them but in James he saw a certain clench of his jaw but it was gone as fast as it had come.

After Dumbledore said a few closing remarks and finished, a few others spoke- a representative of each department that had played a role in the final mission and who were relevant in the future endeavours of the ministry. The Minister for Magic- Millicent Bagnold, was the final speaker as she echoed Dumbledore’s words and gave many promises that she claims she will fulfil in her time as Minister but Regulus never gave much stock into the words of politicians.

When it was over, people began speaking to each other, milling about, sharing stories, and reconnecting. Regulus was about ready to go home.

Moody came over to them, an odd mechanical eye whirring in place of the eye that had been taken during the battle, and slapped James on the shoulder, “What d’ya say about joining the Department of Magical Law Enforcement then son? I reckon you’ll be able to skip half of training, just like Black here when he’s all healed up.”

To his surprise, James shrugged awkwardly as he scratched the back of his neck, “Yeah er- I’ll see. I think I just want to take a break for now is all.”

Moody nodded with a tilt of his head, “Well you know where to find us,” he grumbled before hobbling away.

“So you’re really not going to join then?” Regulus murmured quietly. He knew James had had some doubts about becoming an Auror but he wasn’t sure how he’d react when given an official position and he was surprised that he’d turned it down so clearly. To others he might’ve sounded unsure but for James, who said yes to just about everything, that was a clear rejection.

“I can’t,” he frowned, gazing up at the statue who was currently displaying the picture of some woman he didn’t know. “I can’t go back to fighting crime and dark wizards again. I need- I just need space now.”

Regulus nodded as he slotted their hands together, “I understand.”

“What about you? I mean technically you don’t have any qualifications seeing as you dropped out-.” Regulus punched him in the arm as he continued, laughing, “I just mean are you going to go back and sit your NEWT’s or?”

Regulus was always a good student and he enjoyed school. Even beyond attending class, he liked having a clear routine- he knew when he had to do homework, when to study for exams, even when he had to practise for quidditch as everything was set out for him. He could mindlessly go through it all but now, for the first time in his life, he was free to do whatever he wanted, every single day. There was no one telling him what to do and the ability to do nothing was mind boggling to say the least.

However, he had outgrown that role. He couldn’t go from taking down Voldemort to going to Charms and Herbology class. He couldn’t put on that stuffy little uniform and spend all day wondering whether or not his mark was showing. That wasn’t what he was looking for, despite the fact that he needed schooling to do pretty much any solid career.

“Let’s take it one day at a time, yeah?” he asked instead and James, very much liking the sound of that, nodded, leaning in close to brush his cheek against his. 

They spent a few more minutes milling about until finally, Sirius asked Remus to go home so he could rest and they decided to go back with them, using him as their excuse.

When they finally arrived back home, Regulus set about to his room, not James’, for what felt like the first time.

He trudged up the stairs and turned left instead of right and when he entered his room it felt almost entirely unfamiliar. His clothes and spare things were here but mostly everything had been moved to James’ room as he spent all his time there now. He felt like he should call this space just another guest room at this point.

However, he pulled open his armoire and shoved aside the few items he had hanging there to look down at the stacks of books there. He levitated the thick tomes out because gods knew he wouldn’t be able to carry them out and set them on the floor beside his feet, quickly freezing them there as the stack started to lean precariously.

Pieces of parchment stuck out from the books and he crouched down, slowly pulling each and every one out and stacking the pages of scribbles and illegible writing atop one another. Once that was done, he carefully unfolded all the pages he had dogeared in his haste to return them back to their former condition. 

Once satisfied, he went over to his desk and did the same, pulling out journals and books alike from the draeers, organising them with the same care he did the other materials until he was pleased.

Absently, he sat on the floor by everything and parsed through some of the parchments. His mind had been so chaotic these past few years, a mess of stress and occlusion and worry, that he didn’t really think he was all there sometimes and his research reflected that. He had written so many notes on horcruxes and dark magic and spells that some of them didn’t even make sense, like when he had somehow connected centaurs to unicorns to light magic ergo, centaurs were the key to destroying the horcruxes. Thankfully, he had scrapped that idea before he went too far with it lest he had ordered centaurs to the cave and performed some sort of sacrifice there.

He almost felt bad for throwing this all away as he had spent so much godsforsaken time on them but they were entirely worthless now, simply relics of a time that had come to pass them.

“I never realised how much time you had spent on this,” a voice came from the door and Regulus turned around to see Remus who was smiling tightly down at him, the scars on his face stretching with the movement. “I mean I knew after the fact but not while you were still at school, having Kreacher send you books and such.”

“I don’t think I even knew what I was doing then…back then it just felt good to do something- to feel like I was resisting him in my own small way,” he shrugged, picking at the sleeves of his jumper.

Remus bent down and picked up a page before Regulus could snatch it away and he groaned as Remus smirked and read aloud, “Dark magic corrupts the soul, what if…” his smile faded.

“What if I become as bad as he is,” Regulus finished, distinctly remembering the day he had written that. It had been a particularly bad day and he’d had to kill a man on Bellatrix’s orders. He didn’t even know what the man had actually done, refusing to hear of it, but he had ended up doing it though not of the Killing curse, he couldn’t make himself mean it, but he’d suffocated him with invisible hands which somehow felt worse.

He was also struggling under the weight of dark magic and how it was tearing away at his soul, so much so that he wondered if he just tore enough of himself apart- he’d just end up like Voldemort. He hadn’t been all that far in his research so it seemed like a logical conclusion.

The sound of parchment tearing shocked him and he watched as Remus ripped the paper apart lengthwise before turning it and tearing it again, and again, until it was nothing but confetti that he tossed in the air. He then knelt down and grabbed another piece, his frown slowly shifting as he tore it just like he had the first page. Then he jerked his head and slowly catching on, Regulus began ripping up a sheaf of papers, relishing in the sound and feel of it before tossing it up above them so it fell like snowflakes around them.

Both of them began laughing as they continued on and on, tearing and throwing until there was nothing left but a big mess.

Once they calmed down a bit, Remus came in close and solemnly spoke, “You could never be as bad as He was. I know you’re going to hate this but- I really think you could have made it in Gryffindor.”

“Oh stop,” he rolled his eyes.

Remus assessed him then, his golden eyes glinting, “Actually I take that back, you’d look terrible in maroon.”

He laughed as he shoved him aside and it was a bit of a mistake because Remus ran into the frozen stack of books which apparently served as a bloody pole and he tripped over it, falling onto his arse.

And instead of getting up or taking Regulus’ proffered hand, he simply stayed on the ground, staring up at the ceiling, “I can’t even be upset about it- nothing can make me mad anymore.”

“Nothing?” Regulus asked, poking him with the toe of his shoes.

When he didn’t react, Regulus continued poking at him until Remus caught him, foot in the air, and tugged him down to the ground, the floor sweeped out from under him and the ceiling replacing his previous view of the ground.

“I deserved that,” he mumbled, rubbing the side of his head.

“What is going on!” Kreacher clucked as he hurried into the room, “Kreacher is being dusting and then is hearing boom boom upstairs. He is not being worried, thinking it is being Sirius but Sirius is outside so-,” he rambled on until he snapped and a broom popped into his hands, continuing to whinge while sweeping up the remnants of paper around their head.

“Kreacher, why is it that you don’t like Sirius?” Remus asked, winking sideways at Regulus.

They both laughed and cried until their stomach hurt as they remained on the floor, laughing at the seemingly endless list of reasons Kreacher didn’t like Sirius from his too tight trousers to his too long hair that seemed to shed all over the place.

_____________

Regulus eventually figured it was his time to reenter the world of his family so to speak, as in, see Narcissa again as he didn’t think it right to continue hiding, especially from the few family he had left. Plus, Lucius was still in some holding cell under the Ministry ahead of his trial so Regulus would rather go in now than have to do it with him nearby sometime in the future, if he managed to weasel his way out of Azkaban.

Sirius sent her an owl, asking to come over, and she readily agreed, inviting him over the following day for tea. Sirius eventually decided that Regulus should just go himself, choosing to stay behind and after a bit of back and forth, he relented.

He was strangely nervous as he dressed in a nice set of navy blue robes, a colour Cissy favoured greatly. He wasn’t sure whether she’d be happy to see him alive or upset that he’d lied about it the whole time, letting her grieve for no reason at all. Maybe she hadn’t grieved him at all and was fine with him being gone and she was indifferent to his return. He sighed as he switched his cufflinks for the third time.

He went through the floo, the quickest and currently safest option for him, and was in her receiving room within seconds.

Her elf was waiting for him and when he saw him he spluttered, his overly large ears twitching as he struggled to compose himself, “Regulus,” he bowed quickly before straightening, realising he didn’t really need to do all that. “Regulus Black is being here, the Mistress- she-.”

Deciding to save the elf from a heart attack, he just gently asked, “Where is Mistress Malfoy?”

“She is being in the-the sunroom,” he mammered.

“Thank you,” he sighed, cracking his knuckles and walking away, already knowing the path there. He figured the elf could use the time to pull himself together anyways.

The room was bright and airy, the glass panes crystal clear, but the charms on the room helped keep it a manageable temperature as without them it would probably feel more like a greenhouse.

She was sitting at a small table, scribbling into a journal and she glanced up cursorily before shutting her journal and standing up, smiling gently at him. It took a good few seconds for her face to shift as she rushed to him, her eyes narrowing as they scrutinised him, “Regulus?”

“Surprise?” he said, unsure of himself.

She gaped, her jaw literally dropping, as she stared at him before she threw her arms around him and began jumping. He didn’t think he’d ever seen her doing something so “undignified” since they were literal children. She squeaked as she kissed his cheek, “I can’t believe it,” she cried out, pulling back before going right back in.

Her hands went to either side of his face as she stared at him in genuine amazement, “It’s really you.”

Her joy was infectious as he replied, nodding along, “It’s really me.”

She quickly swiped at her eyes before pulling him down and squeezing her chair in close, grasping his hands as she demanded he tell her absolutely everything. She was incredibly expressive as he told his story from the start, frowning sadly at some parts while getting angry at others. She became teary when he talked about the cave and laughed when included some of his own very colourful comments about Voldemort.

Then he realised he had excluded a major part of the story and decided that it was now or never.

“But James was more than just Sirius’ friend who helped here and there,” he mumbled, scared at what her reaction might possibly be. He was wondering if he should just backtrack or redirect the conversation but it already felt too late.

She looked at him questioningly, taking another sip of her oversweet tea.

“He’s my…He’s my boyfriend.”

She was quiet for a long moment, seemingly frozen as she kept the cup to her lips before she finally set it down, smoothing down her robes as she slowly nodded, processing the information.

He wanted to Obliviate her, he’d probably manage it, but then she just looked at him, a small smile tugging at her lips, “Here I was thinking you’d be alone forever but you’ve found yourself a boyfriend. A rather fit one too”

A surprised laugh bubbled from his lips at her reaction. Sometimes with where Narcissa had landed herself, he forgot how young she truly was. She was funny and clever and it had been so long since he’d seen that side to her that he could hardly recognize her. There was a newfound  easiness to her that she’d lost as she grew up.

He was about to ask her if it was because of Lucius’ absence when the true source of her joy suddenly came into view.

A small elf shyly came with an even smaller bundle wrapped in her arms, “He is wanting mummy,” she chirped.

Cissy lit up as she accepted the proffered bundle wrapped in a baby blue feather soft blanket. She tugged it aside as she showed him a small babe, with wispy white hair and porcelain skin. He had chubby cheeks and perfect rosebud lips and when he opened his eyes, they were the same dark shade of blue all babies had, their true colour still hiding beneath them. “That’s Uncle Regulus,” she whispered, pointing at him while smiling exaggeratedly to the baby.

“Don’t tell me…” he whispered as he couldn’t possibly tear his eyes away from it.

“This is Draco,” she smiled, looking up at him with nothing but love and affection shining through her features.

She finally had her baby.

He was surprised to find himself crying, “Oh my gods,” he said, scrubbing at his face, overwhelmed at the turn of events. He couldn’t even put his feelings into words, he was just so genuinely happy for her.

She gently rocked him back and forth before she asked, “Do you want to hold him?”

“Oh no I can’t possibly-,” she quickly stood up and he had no choice but to put his arms out and once he was in his arms, he felt like he never wanted to let go. He stared big blue eyes at him, blinking slowly as they drank in his face and he opened his mouth to reveal nothing but gums but he imagined it was the early signs of a smile. “When did you have him? Sirius said-.”

“June 5th,” she answered. “I was early on in my pregnancy when Sirius came by and I didn’t say anything because I honestly didn’t know if he would end up a miscarriage like my other ones- I didn’t want him to ask if it happened. He was also born a bit early,” she laughed, rolling her eyes, “Scared us all to bits but he came without complication.” She rubbed at his cheeks while he was in his arms and he nuzzled into the touch.

He always imagined Cissy with a child, it seemed so natural for her and not just because she was a woman, bred to produce heirs, but for her warmth and kindness, her empathy and caring nature. She was the embodiment of what a true mother could be and he finally had a bit of hope for the next generation of their family to be better than they were, to live a life worth being proud of.

“I’m so happy for you,” he marvelled, wiping his final tears into his shoulder as he looked back up at her.

“I’m happy for us,” she rested a hand on his knee, “We’re finally a family again.”

____________

He woke up a few weeks later to James kissing up his shoulder, his breath warm against his exposed skin, his touch gentle and barely there. Sunlight streamed in through the open window, a warm summer breeze rustling the drapes and bringing with it the scent of morning dew.

“Morning,” Regulus yawned as he turned in James’ arms so that they were face to face.

James kissed the tip of his nose, “Good morning,” he grinned.

“You’re awfully chipper,” he pointed out suspiciously, running his hand up James’ toned arms, watching as he passed over sun kissed freckles. They had gone out to fly every evening since the weather started to warm up and while he remained pale as ever, James seemed to absorb the sun, his skin turning darker and warmer with it.

“It’s because I have a surprise for you,” he quipped, his hands running tantalisingly along his sides under the sheets.

He still felt half asleep, drowsy from having been woken up, and a quick look at the time showed that it was 10:34AM. For a split second his heart raced before calming back down when he remembered, for the hundredth time, he had absolutely nothing to do. Old habits died hard.

He stretched his arms, bumping his elbow into James’ head before relaxing again as he chuckled low into his ear. Regulus reached down to the chain on James’ neck, playing with it as it caught the light- he couldn’t believe how long it had held up.

“What surprise do you have for me then,” he asked, entertaining him even though he absolutely hated surprises.

“I booked us a trip.”

That wasn’t at all what he might’ve expected, “To where?”

“Portugal,” he answered, his hazel eyes shining.

“Portugal? Why?” he asked because he didn’t remember ever really mentioning that country.

“It starts with a P,” he finished, popping the ‘P’ for emphasis and that jostled a memory loose from Regulus’ mind of him and James in the bathtub when he had joked about wanting to travel to places that started with a P. He couldn’t believe James had remembered that.

He leaned forward and kissed him as his heart soared, “When do we go?”

“In about,” he hummed, “five hours.”

“What?” he immediately sat up, “Five hours? Are you mad? We have to- to-,” he looked around as his mind went into overdrive.

“Love,” James tugged him down, “We don’t have anything to do. Kreacher’s already packed our bags as well.”

He couldn’t believe it but James was right- he didn’t have anyone to report to or any task at hand, besides Grimmauld which had actually been coming along nicely. And if Kreacher packed their bags then well…the matter was settled he supposed.

Six hours later found them on a small villa on a beach in Portugal, secluded in a small private beach with no one around for miles. The minute they got there, James jumped into the water while Regulus was content to sit on the beach under the shade of a palm tree, a book already in hand as it usually was.

He watched as James swam laps back and forth in the water, occasionally jumping up and waving to him as though to make sure he was still watching him. James ought to know by now that Regulus had a harder time ever looking away, especially when he was swimming.

When James had finished, he crawled up the beach and lay beside him, eyes closed against the rapidly setting sun and there, with his eyes closed and his chestnut hair wet as it fell against his cheek, Regulus couldn’t help but think about the first time he’d seen James like that and every moment they had spent together after- every brush of hands and lips, every warm embrace and the hundreds of notes that had passed between them.

Every single thing that had brought them to this moment despite how hard he fought against it, how hard the world and fates tried to tear them apart as well.

But he now knew that there was no use fighting the inevitable, not when James Potter was involved.