a gleaming diadem
“Pads…” James immediately started up, taking a few steps forward and placing himself between him and Sirius as though they would start duelling right here and while the idea sounded like a joke at first, the look on Sirius’ face made the possibility seem a bit more real.
“Hang on,” Sirius ordered, holding up a sharp finger, “Tell me why I had to find out from Meadowes here that Reg is the reason you’ve been walking around like a bloody corpse for days. Why the hell didn’t you tell me that you two broke up. And you-” he leaned over James to make eye contact with him, “Why did you even do it? From what I can see, James is the best thing to ever happen to you.”
“Cheers Sirius,” he mumbled as he ground his teeth and shot Dorcas a scathing look though to be fair, he had only just found that James was lying to all his friends as well. His mood was only further ruined by the rain that continued to pelt them mercilessly, the canopy over them helping only slightly.
“Look I didn’t tell you because well, we didn’t actually-” James started and Reg took two steps forward, rounding on him and somehow ending up on Sirius’ side,
“We did actually,” he really needed to whack it into his head then.
“How is it that the one doing the breaking up seems to be unsure,” His brother helpfully interjected again, clearly missing the point that James was the only one confused here.
“I’m not unsure,” Regulus grit out, his basket jostling aggressively in his hands.
Sirius dropped a heavy hand on his shoulder, “Do you even know what you did to him? James showed up to the dorm the next morning, crying his eyes out. I couldn’t even talk to him until he’d calmed down- he said he had a nightmare and didn’t want to talk about it and I respected his privacy but this-.”
“Sirius!” James said loudly, loud enough that his voice seemed to echo and travel through the gaps in the trees. Sirius did stop talking then but tension hung in the air, thick and heavy, like a fog and Regulus felt lost in it.
He couldn’t believe James stayed in the Room of Requirement all night- perhaps he had been waiting for Regulus to come back just as Regulus had been waiting for James to run out and catch up to him.
The idea of James, crying, on his own in that room tore at his heart and when Regulus looked at James from his peripheral vision, he saw the splotches of red on his cheeks and down his neck and the nervous tremor that racked through him. For all of his faux confidence- Regulus saw right through it and it was clear James didn’t appreciate Sirius airing all of this out now.
“Do you ever shut up?” Dorcas grumbled as she stared at Sirius, huffing and crossing her arms over her chest.
James grabbed Sirius by the arm and dragged him away to clearly start yelling at him about something but Regulus was instead focused on the cluster of needles sitting right on top of his hair, clearly gone unnoticed by Sirius.
“Look I’m sorry, I didn’t know he didn’t know and he instantly went off, he’s mad,” Dorcas immediately apologised and Regulus just rolled his eyes.
“It’s fine, I just found out about it as well. James still has some sick hope we can get through this and I don’t know how to dismiss that notion as I thought I made it pretty clear before.”
“Well…” she trailed off.
“Oh Merlin not you too,” he stomped his foot and turned away only to see Slughorn rushing right over to them. The rain continued to fall around them yet he looked completely dry and Regulus wished he could’ve extended whatever charm he was using to cover the rest of the class.
“Mr. Black or shall I say Messrs.” he winked, gesturing to Sirius who was still being scolded.
“You really shouldn’t,” he huffed under his breath before giving his professor a perfectly placid smile.
All the other completed students gathered around as Slughorn began sorting through each of the baskets.
“Black, Dorcas,” Lily came over, offering them each a warm smile. Her red hair was wrapped up in an intricate looking plait and tied off with a single white ribbon while her green eyes seemed only brighter in the dark forest.
“Why does she get a first name?” he huffed.
“Because you are a boy,” Mary pointed out, her dark eyes dancing with delight as she joined Lily with an arm over her shoulders, “And boys don’t get names.”
“Fair enough,” he shrugged.
Dorcas, tired, sat there, cross-legged on the wet earth and the other girls followed leaving him awkwardly standing between them all. She reached up and tugged on his hand, hard, forcing him to drop down beside them and he shoved her as his arse slowly got wetter and colder.
“Mr. Mulciber! You are missing two bushels of pine leaves and 3 flobberworms,” Slughorn announced and they all sniggered at his reddening face as he rolled his eyes and retreated back into the forest.
They continued sitting and waiting and after a few moments, James and the others joined them, Sirius sufficiently chastised and James very annoyed. Pettigrew was nervously reviewing his checklist and Remus simply sat and he eyed his friends.
“Have you lot started studying for your exams?” Dorcas finally asked the others, nervously pulling on the grass underneath her. The rain was beginning to let up now, leaving them to deal with the irregular droplets that fell from the leaves of the trees above them.
“No,” Mary cried out, “I can’t even start thinking about them without having a mental break.”
“She’s not exaggerating,” Lily murmured with raised brows and she quickly raised her knee from where Mary was about to smack it.
James was sitting diagonally from him, absently tying and untying his shoe laces. Regulus couldn’t get over how beautiful he looked, even while doing the most mundane activities, Regulus felt like he could still love him more, fall harder and faster, force his heart to expand and make room for all the new feelings that continued to rush through him at the sight of James.
Sirius frowning at him from right next to James helped cool him down significantly though.
All at once, they heard shouting in the distance and suddenly, Mulciber broke through the tree line howling while right behind him, a large black dog chased after him, barking madly.
“Professor!” he shouted, rushing to a stop behind Yaxley and shoving him forward as a human shield.
Before Slughorn could react, Hagrid jogged out of the treeline, huffing and clearly out of breath, “Fang, ye get o’er ‘ere right now,” he ordered.
The dog quickly obeyed, forgetting all about Mulciber and going back over to his owner, twining between his legs as slobber dripped from his mouth.
“Your stupid dog tried to kill me!” he shouted but a scathing look from Hagrid had him shutting up quickly enough.
“Apologies professor, we’ll be gettin’ out of yer way,” the groundskeeper waved one last time before disappearing.“Right well it appears it’s time for us to head back in and oh, Mulciber, that’ll be ten points from your grade- in we go then!”
_________
He stood outside the locker rooms as he waited for the game to start, not at all interested in listening to the Gryffindors and Slytherin players throw jabs at each other and place bets. Also because he wasn’t keen on seeing James in there, likely half naked, because he’d be forced to either gouge his eyes out or take him there against the tiled walls but he imagined no one would like to see either of those possibilities.
He peered up at the stands, eyes squinting against the harsh sunlight, all memory of the storm yesterday forgotten, and watched as throngs of people cheered madly though no one was even playing yet- they were clearly just feeding off of each other’s energy and anticipation.
Dorcas rested her hand gently on his shoulder as she arrived, giving him a small smile, “Ready?”
He shrugged, turning away, “I guess.”
“That doesn’t inspire much confidence,” she frowned.
“I don’t pride myself on being inspirational,” he replied and soon enough a horn went off and everyone rushed out of the locker rooms, right onto the green grass of the field where the hoops jutted into the sky, the red and green flags rustling in the breeze.
He stood in line with his team and was confronted by the sight of James.
He was staring right back at him, golden skin shining under the sun, hair mussed over his forehead. He was leaning casually against his broomstick, one ankle crossed over the other, but his face was set as his eyes bore into him.
The memory of running into James one morning after quidditch practice assaulted him and he still remembered the way he was so overcome he had to pull James into a closet and tug the same white trousers he was wearing now off.
They gave each other a quick shake of the hand before they were up in the sky.
Regulus began his lazy circle of the pitch as he decided to use the free time he had now to consider what exactly he was supposed to do.
He was sure the Snitch was somewhat sentient because it never really made an appearance until at least an hour into the game and from there it just dangled in front of their faces until one of them caught it.
James was currently chasing his own tail as he flew in a small circle, gradually picking up speed and cycloning up before dropping down and repeating it. They were currently flying hundreds of feet above ground but James seemed to fly as though they were some invisible safety net beneath them with the assurance that if he fell, he would be fine.
It was just so frustrating because while Regulus wanted to be with James, he just wasn’t sure James could handle it anymore- could handle being with Regulus without trying to change him because even while breaking up, James kept thinking about what other options they had- he simply couldn’t accept what had already been done.
Could James handle a life in which they could spend nights wrapped around each other before they were forced to wake up and report to their respective leaders- James to Dumbledore and Regulus to Voldemort? It would be half a life but Regulus was willing to take that over nothing at all.
“Get your head in the game Black!” Dorcas shouted at him as she whizzed by, narrowly missing a bludger and he cursed before getting a move on and actually trying to do what he was here for.
James got bored of chasing his own tail and turned to start chasing Regulus as he flew up next to him, “You seem rather deep in thought, kind of odd considering, well,” he looked around them with raised brows.
“Yes well, I have a lot to think about,” Regulus replied curtly.
“I’m sorry,” he said rather surprisingly and Regulus turned to look at him despite knowing how odd it might look to the audience because the sincerity with which James said it commanded his attention entirely, “I don’t mean to make this more complicated but seeing you and not having you…it’s like torture.”
Regulus sucked in a quick breath but his lungs didn’t expand. Gods he was supposed to come to some sort of resolution, not be reeled back in and disregard all reason and caution simply because of a few sweet words and hazel eyes.
“Being with you is also torture… I can’t just ignore reality James,” he shook his head, “No matter how much I want to.”
Before James could respond, Marlene flew over, pink hair plastered to her sweaty forehead and chest heaving, “James, if you could get your thumb out of your arse andremember we are in the middle of a match, that would be greatly appreciated!”
With a grunt, they both mutually decided to listen to their teammates and began circling opposite sides of the field like vultures circling their prey.
Almost instantly, Regulus found the snitch, hovering just under James and Regulus knew very quickly that if he played this right, the match would be over quite quickly.
So, putting on his best acting face, Regulus went through the classic motions- scanning the pitch, widening his eyes to show he’s found his mark, and shooting off. He zipped towards the top of the field and one quick look showed James following right behind him because even if couldn’t see the snitch yet, he was under the assumption that Regulus saw it and that was enough for him.
Mercifully, the snitch was still in the same general area as before when he quickly rerouted, turning so fast he got whiplash, and went back to where it was. The wind beat at his face and his eyes quickly got teary, but the snitch was clearly visible with its golden face and his worldview narrowed towards it.
James was right behind him, arm outstretched the closer they got, and Regulus’ unfortunate need to win reared its head and yelled at him to go faster and he leaned down, the broomstick brushing his chest as his back arched.
The snitch flitted back, almost in fear, right towards the stands and if it went any further, Regulus wouldn’t have enough time to pull back but that was far from his mind.
James had caught up to him at this point, their burning eyes connected for one quick moment and James spread his lips in a breathtaking smile that only comes with the high of adrenaline. Regulus almost let out one of his own but in that millisecond, the snitch started dropping as though its wings had been snapped.
James pulled back Regulus continued on, begging his arm to reach farther but before he could do anything else, the wood of the stands grew dangerously closer and all he could do was shut his eyes before he jumped off his broom and burst through them, the green flag hanging from the top ripping loudly around him as he was spit in and out of the bowels of the stand.
He hit the ground with a loud thump and he waited for the pain to set in to let him know that he was badly injured but when it never came, he was sure he had simply died on impact.
Cracking a single eye ope, he found the clear blue sky looming above him and when he sat up, he found himself sitting right on his arse on the other side of the quidditch field. Peering through the massive tear, he realised the stands were essentially hollow and he had just managed to make it through the gaps in the wood, his broom left somewhere inside probably.
He saw professors like McGonagall and Hooch running towards him worriedly with groups of students following closely behind, nosy buggers, and he almost died of embarrassment this time so he loosed a breath and relaxed his now tense muscles and when he unclasped his hands, there in his right hand, was the snitch.
“Holy shite,” he murmured.
“Regulus you psychotic son of a bitch!” Dorcas shouted gleefully in front of the rest of the crowd as she ran up to him and the match concluded with Slytherin winning yet another match against Gryffindor.
_________
“Regulus you psychotic son of a bitch!” Evan yelled at him once he managed to catch up to him in the corridor.
“Only you would be mad that I won us the match,” Regulus rolled his eyes.
“I’m not mad, I just think you could’ve thought that through a bit more, you had no idea the stands were even hollow till you barrelled right through them. You should’ve seen James’ face,” he grumbled.
He hadn’t gotten a chance to see anyone after the match as students cheered and flooded the pitch while Regulus just got up and left, managing to have a swift exit and steal the snitch in commemoration of the event.
“What did it look like?” he tried to ask casually but he was desperate to know- he sort of always was when it came to any sort of information regarding James.
“Well he jumped off his own broom and was convinced you died, Sirius came down from the stands and they started arguing for some reason, then when everyone started cheering he calmed down and stomped away,” Barty recounted exactly, ticking each action off with his fingers.
“Why would they be arguing?” he asked but it was somewhat rhetorical as none of them knew and they just continued onwards back to their dorm.
_________
February slipped away giving way to March and soon enough, Easter was upon them and Regulus managed to get permission to stay at Hogwarts over the holiday.
His mum sent a howler in response to his missive that he wanted to stay at school which he promptly set on fire before it exploded with the sound of her voice and he instead replied with another calm letter that he would simply not be returning due to his other responsibilities and that she’d have to accept it.
He may have written it with the slight undertone and insinuation that he had ‘actual responsibilities’ given to him by the dark Lord, if only to further convince her, and that they were confidential so she couldn’t ask. In the end, she conceded and he won out, a minor victory, and he just prayed his mother plied herself with enough alcohol while alone that she didn’t ask any of the other death eaters she associated with.
Sometimes he felt sad thinking about his mother and how she herself was a victim of sorts but she was never dumb and her every move remained calculated and cruel, so she couldn’t feign ignorance as other victims could and it was enough to wipe away his sympathies for the time being.
He couldn’t even really pretend to be sad when he said goodbye to all of his friends because he was just thrumming with barely contained excitement. He felt like a child again when he would pretend to be sick because he didn’t want to attend tutoring lessons and his mum would let him bunk his lessons with their governess for the day.
It would be a week for him to catch up on sleep, explore the castle, sleep, read books for fun and not for school, and maybe take a nap or two as well.
He found out most of the professors would be leaving as well through Slughorn too so that made this news all the merrier.
Once everyone was gone, he took the opportunity to lounge in the Common Room instead of just holing up in his dorm like usual.
The Common Room really was quite beautiful with its dark wood furnishings, lavish sitting areas, and clear glass windows blanketed by emerald drapes that showcased the Black Lake and the creatures that lurked within. There were bookcases shoved against the walls stock full of leather bound tomes and various tables dedicated to chess or shogi and Regulus just inhaled deeply in the quietness of the room, slowly sinking into the leather sofas.
It was usually full of students of all years, making it a horrible place to simply hang out as all Slytherins were pompous and self-absorbed, himself included sometimes if he were being honest, and their conversations just made his brain rot.
Now though, there were only a few stragglers left behind but no one he knew and they stuck to themselves in their own corners so he took the chance to peruse the shelves, aiming for something lighthearted yet interesting to read.
He quickly dismissed a few of the new romance books that came out and subsequently caused all the girls in the school to go mad and went to a shelf tucked in the back by the furthest wall that curved in on itself creating its own nook of sorts. Here the books were markedly older, all leather bound and yellowed parchments, and he began picking.
The first book he grabbed was a first edition of Hogwarts: A History that he quickly put back- he had more than enough of that book in the first week of school. The second was a random book of spells and charms that weren’t really relevant anymore with all the current advancements their society had but the third one really caught his attention.
At first, he didn’t really know what he was looking at but it slowly made sense the more pages he turned- it was a signing book. Each page was divided into two columns, the first column heading being a given year and the second being a year exactly 11 years after. The names were identical but the handwriting changed slightly over time, showing how students came into Hogwarts and how they left.
Instantly, he recognized names like Malfoy and Black even in the year 1100 and rolled his eyes.
Page after page he saw names of people long since dead and flipped ahead to more recent years and stopped when he saw the name Alphard Black listed in elegant cursive at the top of the page of the year 1938 and right next to it was the same name but slightly messier and wider, the letters dancing across the page.
He sat down right there on the floor, back leaning against the wall, and ran a finger over the script of his since-passed uncle. He wrote the same way he and Sirius did and due to the nature of his name, he was at the very top, just like a Black should be, he thought with a snort.
Under it he saw names like Lestrange and Mulciber on the page and he traced it all the way down till he ended with the name Tom Marvolo Riddle. The only reason the name even struck out to him was because the first time the name was written, the scrawl was horrible, barely even legible really, and the second time it looked just on par with the other names there, all looping lines and crisp edges. He certainly must have gone through a change.
This was the last filled in page of the book- there was a thick stack of parchment left to fill in in the back but for some reason it just stopped in the 1938-1945 class year and he was sorely disappointed- it seemed a nice tradition.
He shut the book closed and shoved it back on the shelf and instead grabbed a yearbook sat on the shelf below marked with that same school year. He hadn’t seen many photos of his uncle Alphard when he was young and was rather excited to see if he resembled them in any way- he almost wished Sirius was here to find out as well considering how close they all were.
Cracking it open, he saw various images of Hogwarts at the time though much of the ancient castle and people looked the exact same save for maybe the hairstyles of the time. He eventually got to the pages of pictures and his eyes immediately caught a young Alphard with his black hair slicked back and face straight because gods forbid a child smile.
He looked much like himself in first year but in his seventh year picture he looked just like Sirius with his mature, strong features and long hair. He didn’t look like a rebel persay, at least not in the way his parents spoke of him, but he had a certain glint in his eye that showed there was something deeper to him.
Mulciber Sr. was just as ugly as Mulciber Jr. and Avery Sr. looked just about as dumb as Avery Jr. he thought. The others all looked generally the same as their younger counterparts and for a moment Regulus pondered that until he remembered how inbred all the Purebloods were and how all of their features were simply shared between one another and he cringed.
At the bottom again was the odd man out- the Riddle, and Regulus had to admit he was rather handsome. He had bright blue eyes, so pale they resembled aquamarine diamonds with dark brown hair and pale skin. His lips were soft and full but they were tight, even back in first year- in fact, he generally maintained the same hard exterior in both pictures.
Most of the others in the pictures still had a youthful and full face in their first year pictures but this Tom always looked stern, years older than he actually was, and again, Regulus was reminded of himself a bit. Though this Tom was something special and Regulus wished to go back and time just so he could see this man in the flesh.
As he flipped through the book, he saw different accolades given to different students- Alphard was showcased multiple times for his Quidditch talent, Riddle for his Potions excellence, and Nott for his Transfiguration skills.
He wondered what their yearbook would say, whether he would be mentioned beyond the mandatory pictures, whether his own children would ever see his yearbook or whether he’d fade into obscurity like Riddle here- he slammed the book shut and promptly ended that train of thought.
Standing up, he dusted off his trousers and decided to stop by the Kitchens for dinner before curling up with a book- he may or may not have decided on the romance book he berated but he decided to go for it in the name of research, just to see if it was any good of course.
_________
He had swiftly given up on his to-do list when three days passed and he actually hadn’t left the confines of the dungeons or more specifically, his bed.
He groaned aloud, dropping his head back and staring at the ceiling.
“What would Sirius do?” he muttered to himself.
It was a question he used to ask himself all the time when he first left home, for example- if his mum yelled at him to do some chore he didn’t want to do, he imagined what Sirius would do, which was probably throw a tantrum and stick his tongue out at her and so Regulus would imagine he was doing that as he completed his chore. Or, if he didn’t like what was for dinner that day, he imagined Sirius would order Kreacher to make him something different secretly and he imagined he had done that instead and was eating his desired food instead of what was given.
Right now, his mind was telling him that Sirius would come up with his own fun, and probably sneak out- something he tried often enough at home.
This time however, there would be no actual repercussions so, he did exactly that.
Obviously, he had to go to London as he couldn’t sneak around in the magical world but when he looked in his closet, he had nothing truly muggle looking and what he did have, would make him look far too out of place, having nothing resembling the modern fashion of today.
Barty, however, had exactly what he needed- black wide-legged denim trousers, a white tee shirt with some logo printed across the front, and a loose-fitted corduroy maroon coloured shirt he could throw on top of it all. He felt a bit ridiculous when he looked in the mirror but after he messed with his hair a bit and shoved his shoes on, it looked alright enough.
He left the dorm and walked through the empty corridors of the castle, savouring the feeling, already reminiscing on what it would be like once he left and whether or not he’d miss it.
When he put his hand in his pocket, his hand closed around a piece of paper and a bit of excitement burst up inside him before popping once he pulled out a used piece of chewing gum wrapped up in what appeared to be a page from their charms book.
Rolling his eyes, he turned a corner and left out the main doors of the castle, ambling all the way down to Hogsmeade before making it to Diagon before finally arriving in London through the moving brick wall.
He was spit out into the creaky bar full of an odd mix of magical and muggle folk and he quickly sidestepped them and the unknown puddles littering the floor into an alley on the side of the building.
Thanking Bellatrix for the one useful thing she taught him, he turned on his heel and landed at an Apparition Point by Big Ben.
He didn’t have any sort of interest in going to the muggle monument but he knew it would be a rich centre of people and it was one of the few places he actually knew in London so he found it easily enough and began walking towards all of the noise.
The last time he had been in the muggle world was on his date with James where they went out for dinner and even then, that evening was planned and quite short, nothing like today where he blended into the crowd and had nothing but time.
He walked first towards the River Thames where he looked out over the, admittedly, murky water. The sun warmed the air around them but a fresh cool breeze wafted off the water, rustling his hair and kissing his cheeks. As he leaned out over the railing, he looked towards his right where a small girl was sitting, face squished up against the bars, staring out just like him.
Her grandfather was standing beside her, his weight resting on a wooden cane and when he saw Regulus looking at them, he offered him a simple tip of the head which Regulus returned.
His stomach rumbling brought him out of his reverie and turned back around, heading towards Piccadilly Circus, following the signs and sounds to what appeared to be the hub of this area.
The pathways were sufficiently packed with people, so much so that he barely got the chance to really look anyone in the eye because they were gone before he could even process their face. It afforded him a strangely comfortable anonymity that allowed him to loosen his stance and calm his heart.
It was so odd that he was walking amongst the very people the dark Lord was hell bent on ruling over. Really, if one put a wooden stick in their hand, they wouldn’t look any different from themselves.
Growing up, he’d heard tales of muggles having horns and tails or sharpened teeth with weird gaits, and he believed them then, was truly terrified of them and the threat they posed to wizards, until his frontal lobe grew a bit and he realised it wasn’t he who was scared, but his parents and all other purebloods like them.
He stepped into a sweets shop first, aching to satisfy his sweet tooth, and was immediately met with a small tray set atop a table with a little sign saying ‘Try me!’
He obliged, lifting the glass lid and picking up the small pink cube dusted with what seemed to be sugar. He had no idea what it was but it smelled faintly of bubblegum and he took it all in on one bite, chewing the slightly chalky sweet that foamed a bit in his mouth. He didn’t necessarily hate the taste but the texture immediately put him off.
He replaced the glass and moved deeper into the store and turned back once he saw another woman following suit after him and he watched her to see if she didn’t like it either or if it just happened to be a muggle thing that didn’t agree with him but then the strangest thing happened-
She grabbed the cube with both hands, walked over to a sink, and started crumbling the block between her fingers, washing her hands. She lathered it on her palms, between her fingers, and he watched in horror as she washed it away.
Slowly, he turned around to look at the rest of the store in more detail, and found that it was not a sweets shop but it was, in fact, a soap store- their specialty being unique and decorative soaps.
“Gods,” he whispered to himself before hastily leaving the shop and wondering if obliviating himself would serve him well because even just thinking about it made him want to jump into the Thames.
He did end up finding food in a ‘McDonald’s’ and ate chips while sitting out on a bench outside the shop.
It was nice, he thought, to get out of the castle and also not be home, he got to experience something he might’ve never experienced on his own for a long while and felt a sense of accomplishment at the prospect.
He wondered what it would be like to live here, to hide out here far away from the wizarding world leading a life of obscurity. It would certainly be easier than what he would face back home but would it be worth it? To leave everyone he knew behind? He wasn’t sure but the chips were persuading him to stay.
“Excuse me sir?” a man about his age asked, hobbling up to him. He was filthy with grime coating his hands and face, his jacket was torn at the bottom and his blue trousers now seemed grey with the dust coating them.
Regulus just stared dumbfounded at him, “Yes?” he finally asked.
“I was just wondering if you could spare a bit of change perhaps,” he asked with wide eyes peering up at him. Despite their age similarity, this man looked run down, his back stooped over prematurely,
“Er, why?” Regulus asked, still confused as he stared at everyone else around him, wondering if they too were seeing this or why the man even came up to him.
“I haven’t eaten in days, just a couple quid is all I ask for,” his voice was pleading now.
Regulus stared into his cold brown eyes, his too small pupils shrunken against the daylight and pulled out his small money pouch. The man asked for ‘a couple quid’ and he didn’t really know what that meant so he just kept pulling paper bills out until his eyes widened,
“Is this enough?” he asked, handing it over.
“I- T-That’s far too much, I couldn’t possibly-,” he began stuttering, falling over his words and Regulus just rushed to shove all the money in his hands.
As the boy in front of him gawked at him, an old woman that was passing by huffed, upset that he was in her way, and shouted, “Get a job!” at him. His eyes shuttered and his face dropped, he already started to shuffle away and Regulus had to hold a hand out to stop him.
“Just sit down here,” he ordered, scooting over a bit for the man. Then, out of curiosity, “Why is it you don’t get a job, if I may ask?”
He pondered the question for a long moment, “Well, it’s rather hard you see. I don’t have an address or phone, so I can’t apply for a job, but without a job, I can’t afford either of those things. I’ve tried before but- this city likes to forget those they failed.”
He had no response to that question, mostly because he didn’t quite understand the intricacies of the muggle system but the last part of what he said- the part about society forgetting those they failed, struck a chord with him. He saw a bit of himself in this man- the faraway and lost look in the eyes, the pleas for help- only he was too self-important to ask for it.
“Please just, take all of it,” Regulus insisted, pushing the multicoloured bills into his hands, feeling pleased at the genuine relief on his face at the sight.
“Thank you- er-?”
“Regulus.”
“Ah, after the star?” he smiled, a small dimple appearing next to his thin lips.
“Yeah,” he muttered, knowing the name was unusual, even by Wizarding standards.
“Sebastiano, after the painter,” he proffered with a hand to himself.
“It was nice to meet you, Sebastiano,” Regulus finalised, wiping his hands on his trousers and standing up. The sun was beginning to set by now and he needed to get back to the castle in time for dinner, things always get infinitely more complicated at nighttime.
“God bless you Regulus, this…this means the world to me,” he smiled.
They went their separate ways and Regulus was happy to have done one thing of service today considering all he had done otherwise was wander around and eat fancy display soaps.
He headed back to the closest apparition spot but before doing so, stopped by a small art gallery situated on a street corner. It was relatively small with black and white chequered tiled floors and crisp white walls with dim lighting but the paintings on display were beautiful.
He was met with abstract pieces, vivid reds and blues splashed across white canvases haphazardly and others full of geometric shapes and figures layered atop one another to create the image of an animal. The next room was full of landscapes, flourishing meadows and babbling brooks with fish threading through the water that had him feeling like he was truly there watching this in real time.
Wizard portraits were infused with a sense of reality, some portraits being able to speak and think, in the loosest sense of the word, and others being able to atleast move around the bounds of the canvas but despite all that animation, Regulus was more touched by these than any other.
He was struck particularly by a painting of a vast green field, with swaying grasses set in front of a setting sun, the golden light of the dying sun cascading across the tips of the grass making it look like each one was set aflame.
He was reminded of the field Bellatrix had brought him to, with the small family, the baby he was ordered to kill but was too weak to follow through on.
He sat down on a small bench and stared up at the painting and wondered what had happened to the child, if the old woman he gave him to truly did end up taking care of him, if she gave him away, if he even lived. He had so many questions that he was desperate to know the answers to, guilt forcing him to face what he had done, but at the same time, he wasn’t sure if he could handle the answers for if something horrible had happened to the kid, he would be entirely to blame.
But the meadow was so beautiful, that family was so beautiful, the man he spoke to today was so beautiful, the river Thames was so beautiful, his friends were so beautiful, James was so beautiful.
He realised how hard it was to remember how much he hated his life when he thought about everything else he had been given by whoever was watching him, if there was anyone up there.
Sebastiano asked god to bless him for what he had done but god hadn’t done anything today, it was Regulus who pulled out his money and given it to him. Was it god who pushed Regulus to sit on that exact bench, to eat the soap and force him to find real food, was it even god who got him out of the castle today?
He wasn’t sure really.
But the idea of god seemed to soothe Sebastiano as it appears to for so many muggles.
Voldemort thought himself a ‘god’ but was he really one?
Based on what he knew of the concept- no.
But God ruled and had slaves who worship him, and Voldemort certainly had that.
_________
He arrived back at the castle in time for dinner, joining the few scattered groups of students that remained behind for the holiday.
He was the only one left of the Slytherins, save for a few second and third years though he couldn’t imagine why they might have stayed behind. All in all, dinner was a quiet affair, and after eating only a few bites, he decided to retire back to his dorms, stopping only by the Owlery to see if Kreacher had replied to his last missive.
The walk there was long and arduous, the smell even worse when he arrived, but it was well worth it when he saw their large eagle owl, perched among all the other owls with a large packet attached to its right leg.
Regulus summoned the bag of treats and quickly threw one at the owl who deftly caught it with its beak as he untied the package and quickly checked that everything was correct. Once done, he headed back down the stairs towards his dorms.
His mind was churning on the walk back because he needed to figure out where exactly he could keep these books as it was starting to become slightly riskier to keep in his room. He had all types of books on dark magics that would put him in a risky position should anything happen and just because he didn’t exactly want his friends to see him with them either.
He wasn’t doing anything bad per say in terms of what his friends would say if they saw what he was looking up but it was certainly…questionable.
His footsteps were so rushed that while walking, the book on top of his stack accidentally slipped and fell on the floor so he quickly turned around, picked it up, and walked back where he was supposed to go.
He realised suddenly he was walking past the Room of Requirement and almost subconsciously, he paced one more time and the door to the ever familiar room materialised. He hadn’t stepped in since his and James’ breakup and for nostalgia’s sake, he felt like he had to go inside.
However, when he pushed the wooden door open, he wasn’t met with the familiar comfortable bedroom he was accustomed to- no, he was visually assaulted with piles and piles of stuff everywhere.
Taking a hesitant step in, he stared wide-eyed at piles of cups and chairs and statues and lamps and all manner of things. He couldn’t even make sense of one pile before his attention was snatched by something else and he was forced to look elsewhere. There was only a small narrow path that disappeared around a bend to break up the mess and he slowly walked along it to find out more. Looking up, he saw Chinese lamps stung up next to grand chandeliers with small wind chimes rustling on some unseen wind.
It seemed to just be a room of trash based on the thick layer of dust covering everything in sight. He accidentally ran into something and saw it was a small statue of a gnome on a podium. Next to it, a table with a full tea set arranged atop it, the chairs surrounding it mismatched and torn up.
He put the books down there, tired of lugging them around and he continued down the path, feeling almost compelled to do so, and right when he was about to turn back around, he heard a small humming noise, barely audible, somewhere in the distance.
For all he knew, he was completely alone in the room but all too suddenly, he felt another presence in the room, like someone was watching him amidst the mess,
“Hominem Revelio!” he whispered quietly and a holographic image of the room popped up in front of him but there were no other signs of life nearby. Still, he couldn’t shake the feeling, so he tucked his wand into his sleeve for easy access and went towards the sound that was slowly getting louder.
The noise got near deafening a few paces later so he knew he was in the right spot but in front of him was just a pile of jewellery tangled up inside a bag lying next to a ladder that led up to nowhere.
He kicked the bag over and crouched down to inspect the contents- a diamond encrusted ruby ring, a beaded bracelet, a pearl necklace, and a gleaming diadem in the shape of an eagle with a large sapphire inlaid in the centre.
It was practically vibrating on the floor and when Regulus picked it up, inexplicably drawn to it, the pain in his ears subsided and the air smelled almost sweet yet still, the noise was there and he didn’t understand how he could stop it. He didn’t even know why this was happening in the first place but his arms moved of his own accord, morbid curiosity flooding him, and in a cracked off mirror to the side, he watched himself place the diadem on the crown of his head.
The humming ceased completely and he couldn’t contain the gasp that escaped him as all the air rushed out of his lungs and he fell forward, his knees striking the ground as his mind slipped far from his own grasp. A pair of cold iron hands squeezed round his neck, tightening with each passing moment till his vision turned black and his skin turned cold and suddenly all his sensations disappeared, submerging him in darkness,
It was like he was drowning all over again.