fighting the inevitable

It was at breakfast when James’ next note appeared.

Barty was under the impression that adding spider eyes and turtle shell to a Weakness poison was meant to neutralise it when in fact, it made the potion even more potent and so Regulus, unable to ever be wrong, decided to pull his textbook from his bag just to prove to him that he was right.

He slid the book over to him and Evan while he and Dorcas continued talking about their upcoming quidditch match against Hufflepuff.

While Barty flipped to the relevant section, a small slip of paper jumped out as though deeming this the perfect moment to make its’ appearance.

Regulus saw it in his peripheral vision and turned slowly to it and while Barty and Dorcas remained oblivious, Evan had seen it and was now eyeing it with curiosity.

Regulus’ hand twitched just as he was about to make a grab for it but Evan snagged it first, eyes flicking up to Regulus in silent question.

He tried his best to remain neutral but his heart was pounding in his chest as Evan’s bright blue eyes twinkled with curiosity. A sight he’d seen in Dumbledore’s eyes many times, a sign that he knew more than you did and was happy to let you remain in the dark. 

Whatever panic he’d seen in Regulus’ face must have outweighed his curiosity though because Evan just kicked his foot under the table and passed it there, their hands fumbling before the exchange had been made but once it was done, Regulus immediately pulled back and shoved the note in the bag, waiting until later to put it in the pocket containing all the others.

He’d never told anyone about his nightly activities nor would he ever if he had any say. He especially would never tell them anything that had transpired between him and James, three times by his count. He wasn’t exactly sure what their reaction would be but he knew for sure that it would not be a positive one.

Evan smiled plainly at him before turning back to what Barty was saying and Regulus just nodded, turning back to Dorcas as though nothing happened.

He flicked his eyes up and looked through his eyebrows at James whose nervous eyes locked onto his before going back to Sirius only to return again, a merry go round. He had a small hidden smile on his lips though it was sheepish and he knew he had probably seen the whole interaction.

How no one had noticed how obvious James was, was beyond him. 

He read the note in Potions and made it a point to make James make their potion for the day while he frowned at him.

“In all fairness, I sent that letter to you last night, it’s not my fault you were irresponsible and not doing homework,” he reasoned, stirring their potion clockwise.

Regulus groaned and took the stirrer from him, mixing it counterclockwise as they were supposed to. James was more than happy to watch him work then. 

“Why do you still send notes anyway? I feel like we moved past that,” Regulus questioned, peeved that he was doing the work again. 

“I like them, they’re nostalgic.”

“Ah yes back when we hated each other so much that we couldn’t speak to each other?” Regulus joked. 

“Mhm Let's hope we never get to that point again,” he mused.

He thought about the note for the rest of the day-

Reg,

Lake tomorrow night 10PM

P.S. This is mandatory!

James

Last time he checked the lake remained iced over. It had thinned a bit but it was by no means ready for swimming and as history indicates, when they weren’t swimming they were…getting closer. They hadn't had the lake as an excuse to touch, to move closer than they ever would have before, to talk about things he didn’t even speak to his own friends and wondered what it might mean if that were changed now.

A thread between them had time to weave into each of their cores, tightening and tightening until it either solidified or snapped.

Regulus wasn’t sure he could handle either.

He crumpled the letter back up and shoved it in his bag as he got ready, heart already beating a wild rhythm in his fragile ribcage.

____

“So what was so urgent that we had to meet tonight?” Regulus asked, curling his legs up, already defrosting under James’ warming charm as he approached. He eyed the red quilt that had been set up but would gladly take not having a wet arse tonight from the dewy grass and sat atop it. That didn’t mean he found the word ‘GRYFFINDOR’ and the various lions depicted all around it particularly tasteful.

“Well I couldn’t wait,” he said jumpily, turning back to Regulus.

He had a giddy energy that was starting to rub off on Regulus who felt nervous as well, “Are you going to make me wait or?”

James just turned towards the Lake and as Regulus turned, he saw James move in his peripheral and a stone hit the surface of the water and where it should have stopped, it went right through with a small splash, not even the slightest bit of resistance present.

He snapped back to James who was grinning as he moved, pulling at the sleeves of his robes, “How did you…?”

“I may have asked McGonagall for a little assistance on melting the ice on top of the lake, for our lessons of course,” he finished with a flourish of his hand between them.

He didn’t know whether he should even feel excited anymore as dread slowly replaced the earlier giddiness that had rooted itself within him.

“Wow,” was all he mustered up, along with a half-hearted smile that was like a wet match compared to James’ fiery grin.

“Right, I didn’t think she’d actually do it,” he said before turning back to him, his smile dropping at the look on his face, “I know this is a lot to surprise you with though and you’re probably not all too happy about it, so I’ve brought us something else.”

He dragged a clearly heavy wicker basket over to them, setting it between them, before unwrapping the bow across it and lifting one of the flaps on top.

He reached in, elbows-deep, and began pulling out bowls and plates and cutlery followed by slightly larger trays and serving bowls, laying them all out around them as though they were at a table in the dining hall.

“Is this…a picnic?” Regulus asked slowly, lifting up a cloth to reveal a dish of rice with some sort of spice atop it.

“Astute observation,” James commended.

“We just had dinner,” Regulus responded, his palms already sweating and stomach churning.

“Well all there was today was salad and something that was supposed to be chicken but you can’t tell me that was appetising, it tasted like nothing. I have something better for us,” he finished with a wink once he finished setting everything out and even straightening the quilt they were on for good measure. It looked like a scene that was meant to be on a magazine cover for Witch’s Weekly- summer edition. 

“How did you even…why,” Regulus couldn’t wrap his mind around what possessed James to do this, why he’d go through all this effort when there wasn’t exactly any sort of payoff. He didn’t even want to imagine how annoyed the elves were at having to make all this just for James anyways.

Though a single smile from him would likely have them tripping over their feet to help him.

“Since being home I’ll admit, I’ve been a bit homesick here and I figured you might want to try some of my favourite food as well, now first,” he moved, slowly lifting the covers off of every dish, “Here is some rice, there I’ve got aloo keema- beef and potatoes, there is chicken makhani- probably the simplest thing here, and this is naan- the bread to eat it with. In case you don’t like any of these, I’ve brought some sandwiches and crisps. I didn’t compromise on the drinks however, because I’ve got sweet lassi for us.”

Regulus stared, dumbfounded, at all the food in front of him. He didn’t think he had ever seen any of these dishes before, not even the sandwiches that were piled high with fillings and sauces. The drinks were in tall glasses and white in colour though it was blended with ice, giving it a sort of slushy consistency. James was already taking a large gulp of that, the liquid dripping down the corner of his mouth when he finished.

“This is…a lot,” was all he could say. He didn’t mean to sound ungrateful but it was hard to keep his tone in check as James put all this on him out of nowhere. He wasn’t exactly the most ‘go with the flow’ sort of person, he much preferred overthinking just about every scenario, then doing it again for good measure.

“It’s too much isn’t it- I knew it was, I just saw you haven’t been eating much at meals and I wanted to do something- they always say I go overboard-” James began rattling, already recovering the food and the display made Regulus’ heart wrench.

“No! It’s not too much at all, I was just- surprised,” Regulus finished, trying to save them both. “It’s lovely, er- I’ll just get some of this then,” he reached over to grab a spoon before scooping a small bit of rice on his plate.

He was glad that he had the earlier injury to blame his hand trembling because he was truly terrified at the moment. He had heard James’ comment about him not eating at mealtimes and he couldn’t fathom how James had noticed but he couldn’t exactly claim otherwise.

It was just that the habit of ‘not eating’ he’d gained at home carried over into him at school. Every time he reached for another spoonful of food, he felt his mother’s hand on his leg or her cutting voice in his ear telling him to stop. Anytime his trousers were a bit looser in the morning- he enjoyed it rather than thought about feeling concerned.

He was rapidly losing control of his life, as the winter holiday reminded him, and especially with OWLs coming up, he was more stressed than ever, and food seemed to be the only thing he could control.

He arrived late to mealtimes and left early and didn’t eat if he had a say in it, claiming to his friends he’d already eaten or would stop by the Kitchens later. 

Food had gone from a source of comfort to one of disdain and here James was, putting it in front of him with a kind smile and bright eyes. Just as he had done with the Lake, trying to transform it from his nightmare into something he should enjoy.

Evan James had managed to transform himself from Regulus’ greatest enemy into someone he…cared for.

He watched James take his fill and settle the plate in his lap before eating, savouring each bite and Regulus had to admit it looked delicious. The fragrant smell of herbs and spices filled their little bubble making the food look ten times more appetising. 

He took a perfunctory bite, putting a bit of everything on his spoon before trying it and immediately the flavour exploded in his mouth, completely foreign but not at all unwelcome as he chewed the tender chicken and tasted the rice. 

“Oh my gods,” he disbelievingly said around a mouthful, “This is amazing, I’ve never tried anything- oh it’s a bit- spicy,” he coughed out.

James laughed, unaffected by the flames he’d apparently added in the food that were burning down Regulus’ mouth and throat, “You get used to it, the lassi helps though,” he nudged his glass over.

He was right and he had to suppress a moan at the cool drink dousing the flames within him and replacing it with a creamy sweet taste.

James watched Regulus eat with curiosity and trepidation, making sure each bite was as good as the last one but he didn’t even have to pretend to enjoy it.

James ate his own food with the naan, eating with his hands in a way Regulus had never seen. Even as a child, his mother would slap his and Sirius’ hands if their hands ever touched their plate, much less their food. She deemed it lower class and ill-mannered, yet here James looked effortless, enjoying the food more than Regulus likely was.

Boldly, he took a piece of the naan and mirrored James’ motions, using it to scoop up his food and he was failing spectacularly- pushing the food around rather than actually getting it on his folded bread. When he managed a piece of chicken, he ended up dropping it on the front of his robes, leaving him with a soggy piece of bread.

“It’s hard to get a hang of it, don't worry,” he smiled, then went down to prepare another bite for himself. It shocked Regulus when he held his hand out for him, “Here.”

Regulus stared at his outstretched hand, was he meant to grab it out of his hands? His question was answered when James leaned in closer, guiding his hand directly to Regulus’ mouth.

He slowly opened his mouth and James fed him, his lips just brushing the edge of his fingers with the motion. James’ eyes were glued to the point of contact and he held his hand there for just a moment longer as Regulus bit down and pulled away.

“Good?” he whispered, voice hoarse.

Regulus just nodded, looking away, trying to focus on the food and suppressing the urge to devour James next, “I didn’t even know the elves could make something like this.”

“They didn’t, I did,” James replied, looking out across the crystal clear surface of the Lake, “They let me use the Kitchens after lunch, they just made me promise I wouldn’t break anything. I did, of course, but they weren’t mad.”

Regulus couldn’t quite contain his awe, “You…made all this? I don’t know why I’m even surprised, of course you can,” he added to himself more than anything.

James continued speaking as he extended his hand for Regulus once more, a habitual action not needing a second thought,

“Most of my memories as a kid are with my parents in the kitchen, mum always insisted on making everything herself and she always let me help. It’s how I got this scar,” he turned over his other hand to show Regulus a thin scar stretching from the tip of his pinky finger down to its’ base, “Mum made me use these special knives after that didn’t work well but are probably why I have all my fingers,

“When dad came home, he’d always find us there and would talk to us about his day, our day, and anything new going on all while he drank his tea. Even when I grew up or went to Peter’s for the day, I’d always come back and we’d talk there- we had a little wooden table in the corner where our cat, I have a cat, would lay on because it had the perfect patch of sun. We all had our own assigned seats there and we’d chat,”

“I made this because my mum’s food is the best, if I'm being honest. When I was sick, she made me my favourite food and fed me with her hands, it tasted better that way. You know, I’d always know what food she was making based on what I could smell when I woke up and I knew what kind of day it’d be. Anytime I woke up and didn’t smell anything, I had to get up and check on them just to make sure.

“Food reminds them of home and reminds me of them. It’s why I made food for us, for you. I suppose I just wanted to share a piece of me with you, I can only hope you accept,” he trailed off, eyes bright as his throat bobbed.

Regulus was in tears by the end, his vision blurring as though he was swimming in the sea of James’ memories, getting pulled by the tide and spun around the same way James’ spun this tale of his childhood.

It wasn’t just the way he spoke but the fact that Regulus didn’t even really remember his childhood. He had bits and pieces, fragments he could try to stitch together but would fall apart anyways. He couldn’t think of a time he spoke to his mother about anything. He didn’t know her and she him. It was like a slap in the face to know that no matter how he tried to connect to her, it was a two way street that she didn’t care to traverse down.

The last words James said struck true, right in the section of his heart that had changed, shifted to accommodate James in it. The stress was enough to break him and yet, it set him alight at the same time. He couldn’t think of any other response than,

“I always will, accept you, I mean. I don’t think I could ever not. I’m- I’m the one who’s too much, I’m the difficult one, I’m the one that needs to ask you for acceptance,” he choked out.

James shifted, encasing Regulus’ smaller hand within his own larger one as he sat directly across from him, “I already have.”

He brought Regulus’ hands up to his lips and brushed a kiss across his knuckles, a move that was arguably more intimate than anything they have done before, heightened by the words he spoke.

Regulus never felt accepted, his friends only a rare exception and even then he sometimes doubted them because he never felt worthy of them. He had grown up being told he wasn’t enough, a sentiment only reinforced throughout the years, drilled into him as though it were fact and yet James, who was the best person he had ever known, accepted him through all their trials and tribulations.

In that moment, Regulus felt something within him settle. The butterflies that fluttered in his stomach when James was near, the stampede that trampled through his chest daily- everything within him calmed and quieted as James’ assurance washed over him.

He had been so scared of this, of growing to care for him that he had built up his mental walls, reinforcing them anytime he saw James in his quidditch uniform or next to him in Potions because he unfortunately looked good all the time. The idea of Sirius finding out was enough to paralyse him because he was sure he’d lose his head instantly and watching James’ nerves that day in the forest only reinforced that idea.

Yet those three words erased his worries as surely as the sun sets and the moon rises, the moon that had remained a spectator to them for all of these weeks together. Who had seen cities rise and dynasties fall, seen him tiptoe to Sirius’ room at night to climb into Pandora’s bed years later. Who knew him more than most others could claim.

“We’re not done yet,” James whispered, squeezing his hand before setting it down and reaching into his basket once more to pull out a final dish.

He pulled out a small glass bowl containing two dough balls doused in a rose scented syrup. They were the colour of James’ eyes and Regulus was instantly tempted.

“Gulab jamun, I only have one because Dipsy in the Kitchens ate the other one,” he smiled then dug in with a spoon.

He gave his first spoonful to Regulus before serving himself.

He finally spoke again, “I’m not going to ask you about your eating habits nor will I force you to speak. I just hope you can take care of yourself, for you. Just because your friends or anyone else doesn’t say anything doesn’t mean we’re not concerned. I’m sure they just want to respect your privacy as I do after the holiday.”

“I’m fine,” he urged immediately, wanting to pull back and shield himself as he was so used to doing.

James was quicker though, his hand a grounding touch on his bent knee, “I know you are but it’s okay if you’re not,” he voiced before moving back to touching the barely visible scar on his chin.

He dropped his hand down to Regulus’ arm where he had rolled his sleeves up so they wouldn’t get caught in the food. Regulus watched him trace a golden finger across his silver scars, his complement in every way, that banned across his arm. Some were cruel and jagged lines while others were precise and clean cuts, courtesy of his cousins.

While one hurt him, the other healed him, another cycle none of them would escape.

Regulus simply allowed him this exploration of his skin, the heat trailing behind his finger burning deep in his core, the blood in his veins humming at his touch and begging for more.

He studied the open collar of James’ shirt, the opened buttons allowing him a peek of the smooth skin of his collarbone, the slight bone catching the moonlight and casting a shadow in the dip Regulus yearned to touch, to kiss.

He eyed the column of his neck, wondered what it would taste like now and his breath quickened- he couldn’t calm it if he tried.

“I think I’ve touched you enough to remember what marks you do and don’t have,” James whispered, his hand a ghost of a touch on his arm.

Regulus surged forward then, practically jumping on James as he kissed him, ignoring the clinking of glass all around him in favour of tasting the sweet syrup on his lips- he wanted to drown in it.

James welcomed him immediately, wrapping his arms around Regulus and pulling him closer and when their knees knocked, Regulus took initiative and climbed into his lap, straddling him and relishing in the feeling of James’ strong legs underneath him.

Regulus wound his arms around James’ head, pushing his fingers into his hair and scratching just slightly at the nape of his neck, eliciting a low groan from James that had him moving, kissing a trail from his lips down Regulus’ neck, their difference in height allowing him access to the slim pale column of his neck.

Regulus turned his head to allow him access and ghosted his breath across the crest of James’ ear, and when James kissed just in the hollow of his throat, he couldn’t help the gasp that escaped him and clamped down on James’ neck, biting and sucking at the skin there. 

James hands, which had respectfully been at his sides, latched onto Regulus’ sides, his fingers curling in and gripping him, keeping him in place and Regulus just leaned forward, pushing their chests flush together as he made quick work on James shirt, his hand fumbling between them as he unbuttoned it.

He pulled back a moment to see the toned expanse of his chest in stomach, a sight he had been wanting to see since he saw James walk out of the gryffindor locker room almost two years ago, his top sweat-slicked to his skin already revealing toned abs that had only improved with age.

His skin was burning hot to the touch and warmed Regulus’ hands instantly as he trailed a slim finger down from his neck to his navel and up again. James’ hands tensed the lower he got and released when he went back up. The tension in James’ body didn’t go unnoticed by Regulus, from his legs to his arms, he was a bow pulled taut and Regulus wanted him to release it, to concentrate this energy into him.

James’ calloused fingers skimmed the hem of his top, touching the skin around his hips and he kissed further down his neck reaching his own collar, inhaling deeply as though savouring his scent before pressing his wet lips against the skin there as well. 

Being with James was as much a physical effort as it was a mental one. It was overwhelming how addicting he was and Regulus couldn’t help but focus on how their lips matched and their bodies moved in sync with one another.

He couldn’t get over what James had done for him tonight, how he’d opened up to him in a way he might never have to anyone before and managed to unwrap Regulus.

He’d faced each and every barrier with ease and managed to deconstruct them, brick by brick, until he saw Regulus within and despite all the challenges to get there, he still liked what he saw, still desired it.

“Regulus,” James gasped, pulling back to look up at him.

As Regulus looked down at him, he brought a hand up to push James’ unruly curls aside so that he could see him clearly, not wanting to miss a moment.

“We have to stop or else we might do something we regret,” he whispered.

“I wouldn’t regret it,” Regulus replied, slightly hurt at the insinuation that he would.

When he made to push away however, James’ fingers only tightened, “I think we’ve already established I wouldn’t either, but you deserve better than a quilt outside by the lake,” he huffed.

“I don’t even deserve this.”

“You deserve this and more.”

Regulus tilted his head back to look at the stars, in awe and disbelief of how he had been brought to this point, at every decision and question that he’d had and raised that connected the universe’s dots to this point.

His eyes sought out Sirius, just as it always did, and it twinkled proudly in the sky above them, truly earning its name as the brightest star in the sky.

A ghost of a memory brushed past him, past his fingers that were still absently nestled in James’ hair and he looked down at James, tilting his head to look back up at him.

Regulus still remained in his lap, eyeing a tuft of his hair behind his ear and moved his hands to it, brushing through the rest of James’ hair with the movement. He didn’t think he could ever get tired of stroking his deceivingly silky locks. 

He pulled apart three strands and began to braid the pieces together, watching the golden and brown strands blend together in a small plait.

“I used to braid Sirius’ hair when we were young. I had only managed it a couple times before mum realised and she’d shave it. By the time he grew it out long and kept it that way, it had already been too late for us,” he whispered absently, “I thought I’d forgotten how to do it till now.”

“A piece of me for a piece of you,” James whispered, referring to the food around them and now this memory.

They were building up their stories of each other, glimpses into who they were away from everyone else and how they’d become the person they are today.

He knew now that James was irrefutably the most beautiful person he’d ever met.

He used to hate that beauty, the pull he had on others and now here he was, just as hopelessly lost as everyone else that met him was. He wasn’t so sure why he had tried fighting the inevitable for so long.

“I wanted to go in the lake today,” James whispered, eyes flitting to the Lake behind them.

“Let’s go in then,” Regulus whispered in a moment of bravery, high just by being in James’ presence, the scent of spices still clinging to his skin and washing over Regulus as their bodies remained close.

As Regulus pulled away, moving to clean up their mess, James pulled out two identical swimming costumes.

“I knew you wouldn’t have brought one so,” he shrugged, clearly having thought of everything.

They changed with their backs to one another, Regulus peeking over twice just to ensure James wasn't looking…and so he could sneak a look just as James was pulling his shirt off, letting it drop down his arms as the muscles of his back flexed and pulled.

He wasn’t as scared this time as he was every time before he was faced with the Lake, even at the beginning of tonight he was terrified but now, he felt nothing but intrigue. While the Lake had not changed, he had, and he allowed his fear to transform into curiosity about what it might be like to experience it through James’ lens for it was as integral to him as the food was.

“How do you feel?” James asked, indicating that he was done changing and Regulus turned and thought about how to reply.

“Okay, I think,” he said honestly.

The other boy smiled, reaching a hand out, letting it hang in the distance between them before Regulus moved to close it and grasped it, their fingers interlocking and holding.

They stepped toward the lake together, taking synchronous steps until they reached the shore where James stepped in and Regulus hesitated.

He had drowned in it, fought James in it, fallen face-first into it, had gone so far that almost his entire body was under the water and yet he still hesitated. Perhaps a part of him knew that he wasn’t afraid of the possibility anymore because it had already happened, he was changing and it terrified him.

He stepped forward, the sand beneath him going from grassy to gritty to smooth sludge and he continued onwards, accepting it and clinging to James.

While James was helping him and he needed him here, Regulus needed to do this for himself, needed to conquer this fear to prove that he could overcome it.

He wanted to prove that he wasn’t entirely useless.

James started talking about potential ideas he had for their Potions project, one he sort of forgot about already, and Regulus listened intently to each one, considering the ingredients, the viability of creating an anecdote, and so forth. He was distantly aware that after each idea, James took a step forward, on and on until the water hit his throat and he and James were just bobbing heads.

“You’re too good at that,” he grumbled.

“What?”

“Talking.”

“So I’ve been told,” he grinned before taking a deep breath, puffing his cheeks out, and going under.

Seconds passed and Regulus began fumbling around awkwardly under the water trying to feel for him until he burst back up, the water splashing onto Regulus as he flipped his hair side to side like a dog.

He scrubbed a hand down his face, “Refreshing.”

“I imagine,” Regulus commented, looking down. “Where do you think the squid is? I sort of forgot about him since last term.”

“Er- probably watching us and wondering how we’d taste,” James replied, looking down as though they’d see it.

“Like gulab jamun I’d say,” he joked and loved the way James’ eyes softened.

“Do you like French cuisine?” he asked genuinely, the water still dripping down from his hair, past his temples, brushing past a love bite Regulus managed to leave behind on his neck.

“I used to…things change.”

“They do,” he whispered though with a smile, looking at Regulus like he was the answer.

It was that look that gave him the courage to inhale deeply and bend his knees, going lower until he was fully underwater.

The feeling of being weightless took over, he felt like the water was holding him aloft, suspending him in time and space and he let his arms drift as he opened his eyes. He saw nothing beyond what was directly in front of him of course but he learned to stop being afraid of what might be in the dark.

He ran out of air rather quickly though and jumped up off the ground, breaking the surface and breathing deeply, gulping down hungry breaths, “Oh my gods, Merlin, and Hecate,” he gasped.

James laughed, clapping him on the back, “We really need to work on your lung capacity.”

“It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, you know?,” he admitted, jumping from foot to foot.

James grinned knowingly before dunking under the water once more and Regulus followed, excitement kicking the fear that had rooted itself in Regulus right out and taking root.

_____

He had only just fallen asleep when he felt himself being jolted awake.

He opened his bleary eyes to Pandora who stared down at him wide-eyed, “Dora?” he asked groggily, rubbing his eyes.

“Reg,” she hissed in a raised-whisper, her arms still shaking him.

“What happened?” he immediately asked, extracting her hands from him and holding them instead.

Watery grey light slanted in through the windows and into the bed, illuminating her and making her look more frightening than anything else. Like a corpse that had just been dug up and spontaneously reanimated with her pale skin and blue eyes now looking more grey than anything else. Her pupils were blown wide and she looked almost manic and sweat sheened on her skin. 

“Do you know how to swim?” she hissed and he almost wasn’t sure if he was still dreaming. 

“Do I- what? Yeah of course,” he responded, placing a heavy hand on her shoulder as he worked through whatever was happening with her, trying to remain calm. 

Her relief was palpable as she slumped, “I saw you- I had a vision, you were underwater, I didn’t know if you knew- it was dark, I was scared,” she rushed out, pawing at his available skin to reassure herself of his presence.

He schooled his expression into one of calm but internally smiled, knowing she had likely just seen tonight only moments after it happened. Him, under the water, in the dark, it was obvious what had happened but he couldn’t say anything to her except words of comfort and reassurance that he was here, and perfectly fine.

He set her back down with slow hushes and played with her hair until she fell back asleep, facing towards him, neck curled down and arms turned inward, more relaxed than she had been moments earlier. Considering how fast she fell back asleep, he thought she might not have ever truly been awake, perhaps stuck in some sort of daze. 

He fell asleep moments after apparently not considering that the vision she had seen was of the future. That there may come a time that he was underwater in the dark and that time it would be he who was scared.

No, for whenever he swam, James would be there…of course he would be.