hard enough to hurt
The crowd outside was so loud the walls of the locker room were practically shaking from the force at which the students in the stands above them thumped their feet, shouted animatedly, and clapped.
Music began to blare through the stadium in an extravagant fanfare and from the noises coming from above, he knew the Gryffindor team had likely just walked out of their own locker room, mounting their brooms, and taking a presumptuous victory lap.
Soon enough the music ended and with one last stern look at them all, the Slytherin captain raised his broom in a single outstretched hand and led them out of their underground hovel and out into the bright sunlight that bathed them all in watery gold light.
In winter the sun was always weak but today was the first time the sun had managed to at least peak out of the thick billowy clouds that constantly coated the sky so Regulus savoured the little warmth it provided. He’d take what he could get at this point.
The stands were divided as per usual- Gryffindor and half of Hufflepuff were utterly silent as Regulus and his team took off from the ground to do their own flight but all those dressed in shades of blues and greens cheered them on, covering for the other houses well enough on their own.
As the air whipped past Regulus, flowing through his hair and exhilarating him, he thought about how the experience of being in the air was entirely different than being underwater.
While it was just as dangerous, something about flying in the skies came naturally to him. Growing up, Sirius had fallen off his broom so many times that he wouldn’t be surprised if he had a snitch- sized lump attached to his frontal lobe, it probably would’ve helped explain most of his actions growing up but in any case, he had rarely slipped up in such a way.
He realised the odd conundrum he was faced with when he looked down at his feet, hanging below the broom with no security measure, no safety net should he fall from his broom. Going underwater was precisely the same and yet one experience exhilarated him while the other petrified him.
As he dashed past his peers, he didn’t manage to catch more than the blurred faces of his friends who shouted his name so loudly that he wouldn’t be surprised if they had applied an Amplifying charm to their wands.
Dorcas was right in front of him, her hair braided down and secured tightly at the nape with a leather strap. She sat back lazily on her broom, fixing and tightening her gloves casually with all the confidence in the world. Of course the crowd ate it up and she thanked them with a dazzlingly bright smile.
He wouldn’t have been surprised if she pulled red roses from her pocket and began throwing them at her doting fans in the audience.
Once done, they landed one by one, starting with their captain at the head of their group all the way to Regulus who landed last and all the way to the right of the team, alone- the sole Seeker.
Once he had stabilised, hovering just slightly, he looked up and refocused his eyes and was met with James standing across from him, all wide grins and flashing eyes.
Regulus remembered when he had caught Dorcas watching their practice and really hoped they won or else it would be incredibly embarrassing for them.
James’ head was cocked just slightly to the side, as if Regulus was a particularly interesting specimen, and his eyes seemed to veer off their own, trailing down his figure and back up. It took long enough that Regulus noticed but not enough so that he could try to decipher what he might have meant in that gesture.
His glasses were sitting just slightly askew on his nose and Regulus itched to correct it for the sake of his own sanity. He didn’t know how James didn’t notice or care.
He had grass stains littering his trousers as evidence of an early morning practice and he had to admit he was rather impressed. He’d never been able to go to morning practices, instead only attending the evening ones because if there was one thing worse than chasing after a snitch for hours, it was chasing after a snitch for hours in the morning.
James opened his mouth to say something but the sound of alarms blaring rang out over the stadium and instantly everyone was up in the air, including himself.
The chasers immediately raced to gain control of the quaffle while the beaters began swinging their bats idly in their hands, waiting for a bludger to come flying to them.
Regulus watched the flurry of activity from just above them, always liking to have a high vantage point for the snitch that could be flying right by him or hovering as close to the ground as a blade of grass.
He had never noticed James’ presence before really, his focus always on the Snitch but he couldn’t help but flit his eyes over to him more than usual today.
James’ was much closer to him than he normally would be and so Regulus aimed to idly fly away, just inching away in a sort of test that James immediately failed because he mimicked his actions, closing the distance between them in a gesture that seemed accidental but was nothing short of deliberate.
The snitch remained out of sight so he looked out at the stands. Evan was wrapped in a stack of scarves and had mismatched gloves covering his fingers but he was leaning over the railings excitedly, Barty next to him, sitting on them precariously and swinging his legs under him. McGonagall will surely yell at him for that soon enough.
Barty’s hand was over Evan’s and he considered whether that was accidental or deliberate. The two were so close that if either of them ever decided to make a move on the other, they probably wouldn’t even notice.
Pandora stood next to them, green ribbon threading through her golden plaits and she looked so at home that Regulus often wondered what it would have been like if she ended up in their house.
She was just as much a Ravenclaw as a Slytherin but she had mentioned to him once that when the Hat had spoken to her, she had wished to be put in any house except Slytherin.
When asked to explain her reasons, she simply said that she didn’t want to turn out like her brothers, Rodolphus and Rabastan and so the dusty Hat that decided all their futures took mercy on her and placed her in Ravenclaw.
She was the first and only member of that house that Regulus ever associated with and while Regulus never planned on making friends with the girl everyone else considered to be a bit mad, he couldn’t imagine getting through the years without her.
He turned around then and opposite them was the Gryffindor stands who were equally rowdy as the Slytherins. Students from all years showing up to the match with their faces painted, ready to lose their voice cheering on their own team.
Sirius was in the first row with Remus who had dutifully showed up in the greenhouses this last Saturday just as promised.
They hadn’t spoken much then, just worked in companionable silence, and Regulus realised with a start that Remus offered him a small smile and a wave that Sirius didn’t catch when he noticed his eyes on him.
Regulus just nodded and turned back to the game still roaring below him.
He watched as a bludger flew across the length of the field, aimed right at Marlene who held the quaffle securely in her arms and he felt his breath catch when he registered the girl hadn’t seen it, was so focused on making it to the goal that she would surely crash if she didn’t move in time.
At that instant, Dorcas came zipping towards her, abandoning her assigned spot and she full-on ran into McKinnon, taking them both out of the way of the bludger but also rocking them both on their brooms as well.
Neither of them was at risk of falling but they were both certainly dizzy from the sudden impact.
Dorcas flew away just as quickly as she came and Regulus suppressed a smile as he saw she had taken the Quaffle right out of Marlene’s hands and was currently racing towards their goal. Once the quaffle had been thrown in, the crowds cheered.
“That’s clearly a foul,” Marlene complained out loud to no one in particular.
“I think what you’re looking to say is ‘thank you’” Dorcas quipped cheekily.
She was gone right after and missed the shocked smile that showed up on Marlene’s face, reigniting her fire and causing her to lean down close to her broom and continue the game of cat and mouse they had started last year.
“You Slytherins really like to play dirty don’t you,” came a voice from right beside him and Regulus didn’t know when James had gotten so close.
He was still about two arms lengths away, maybe one if one was using Barty’s arms to count, but he was still in earshot
“I’d classify that as ‘getting things done,” he smiled easily.
James just huffed a laugh, shaking his head slightly.
“What are you doing talking to your opponent anyways,” Regulus asked, casting a sideways glance at the boy.
“Well when you spot the Snitch, so will I, so I’m just biding my time is all,” he explained, rubbing his hands together, “I wanted to ask, how’s your ear?”
He had taken the plaster off this morning, cleaned and disinfected the area and already forgotten the bloody orange incident had happened at all.
“Fine,” he replied and then against his better judgement, “Thank you by the way. I know I was a bit…sour but I appreciate it.”
James smiled, turning to him fully, “I always knew you were a bit of a lemon anyways.”
Regulus looked at him indignantly and he straightened up, ready to fight back but suddenly, something flashed right past James’ ear.
It was the Snitch, hovering just as eye level past James, hovering in mid-air and sparkling in the sunlight.
He was off in an instant, barreling past James and towards it and he heard the noise of shock slip past James’ lips as he turned in a wide arc, intending to cut Regulus off on his way there.
Regulus closed in on the still-frozen Snitch and he leaned closer on his broom, urging it to go on faster, as he reached an outstretched hand out but right as he was about to touch it, the Snitch flew away and was replaced with the entity that was James.
Regulus immediately angled downwards while James veered upwards and Regulus shot him a glare at the fact that they had both almost gone down and decided to keep an active form for the rest of the game, not waiting in one place lest James try to distract him again.
____
The game had finally ended when Regulus gave up, back cramping and legs growing tired from gripping the broom.
He was doing a sweep of the bottom of the pitch then, flying just below the fray where Gryffindor was in the lead, when he spotted the Snitch again.
And so in a leap of faith, literally, he made it as close to the ground as possible before jumping up and off his broom, closing his fist around the Snitch and falling to the ground with a harsh thump.
It didn’t hurt much, only the initial impact making his teeth clack together, but he raised his hand, showing proof that he was not only alive but that they had won the game and soon he was being thrown around by his teammates who whooped and congratulated him.
Once the Gryffindor team had landed, they approached to do their usual handshakes and while some outright refused, like Regulus used to do, he found himself shaking James’ hand goodnaturedly, the warmth from his hands sending a shock through Regulus’, the heat entirely unnatural but pleasant.
His friends had joined him at that moment, ripping his attention away from James. Their voices had gotten lost in the wild cacophony of everyone meeting on the pitch now that he just nodded along to whatever they were saying, smiling and pretending he could hear them.
When he went back to the locker room to shower and change, he first sat on a bench to tear off his gloves and guards and sure enough, a folded piece of parchment fell out of his right glove.
You know the drill.
Tuesday, same time and place
J.P. obviously
Well isn’t that rather presumptuous of him.
_____
Before he was due to meet James, he was forced to accompany Barty, Evan, and Pandora to the Library for a ‘top secret meeting’ that they were ‘not to inform Dorcas of under threat of hexing.’
They claimed a small table near the back, far away from Pince’s table, and just as soon as they sat down, Barty stood back up, splaying his hands on the table and taking on a tone of authority.
“I’m sure you’re wondering why I’ve gathered you all here today.”
They all just nodded.
“Well as you know, the Halloween Ball is coming back and I will be arsed if Dorcas goes with Martin again. I hate Martin, she hates Martin, the only person that likes Martin is Martin so obviously we can’t let that happen.”
Barty was quite right about that. Dorcas had gone with him on a whim last year, saying yes because she felt bad for him but he just spent the night looking at her like she was a dessert item at a buffet and talking up other girls.
“I doubt she’d go with him again,” Evan voiced out rightly.
“Well yes but the point is that she needs to go with McKinnon of course,” he said, snapping his fingers for emphasis.
“And how do you propose we make that happen when they’ve been like this for a year now?” Pandora asked.
Barty paused, pulling out his chair and dropping into it, “Well that’s sort of why I called you all here, so we can figure it out obviously.”
“Here I was thinking you just wanted to study for OWLs without Dorcas here to make you feel dumb,” Evan sighed, his head in his hands as he looked out the dark windows wistfully.
“Oh he doesn’t Dorcas for that,” Regulus added and laughed at Barty’s face of admonishment.
“Look who’s suddenly made of jokes,” Barty rolled his eyes, “What was up with Potter today anyways, spent half the game either talking or following you.”
Regulus’ brain whirred into overdrive for a moment because there wasn’t really a rational way to explain the sudden ‘closeness’ he felt with Potter.
While he wouldn’t say they were quite friends by any means, James was certainly more comfortable with him than before and seemed to disregard any notions of what other people might think of them, landing him in situations like this.
“He just felt bad about what happened with my ear, I think the laughing was just a coping mechanism for his guilt,” Regulus rattled off quickly, running his fingers into the quill marks littering the table and the rest of them laughed, easing the tightness in his chest.
“Well they should, I worked hard on that piercing,” Pandora sniffed haughtily.
“Back to the point, McKinnon. What should we do to make her see some sense? Potion? Spell? Because she clearly won’t make the first move,” Barty said in that tone that was serious but very obviously a joke.
Or perhaps not so obviously as Sirius made a beeline towards their table, Peter in tow.
“Now I’m sure there must be something wrong with my hearing because I know you lot aren’t talking about Marlene McKinnon, surely you’re not all that stupid,” he seethed angrily, crossing his arms over his broad chest.
Sirius had a habit of showing up at the worst possible times and shoving his overly large ears and nose into every situation, especially those that didn’t involve him.
“Oh and if I was?” Barty replied haughtily and now Regulus knew they were in for it.
Even though they obviously had nothing malicious planned for McKinnon, Barty was surely ready to play along just for the sake of it, out of pure boredom really.
“Then I’d think you were stupider than everyone already thinks you are,” Sirius ground out, coming in closer.
Peter remained a step behind, turning his head to look over his shoulder repeatedly and just wringing his hands as Sirius took the lead here.
“Sirius, just leave,” Regulus sighed, not in the same mood as Barty.
“Shut it, you’re just as bad as the rest of them,” he snapped.
“Don’t talk to him like that,” Evan bit out, standing up then as well.
While the concern was touching, it was clearly just escalating the situation.
Sirius was never one to back down from a fight and he was loyal to a fault, causing Barty’s words to be perfectly misconstrued in his mind but the argument was devolving, the initial plot being lost and going into something far more personal.
“I don’t think you have a right to tell me how I should speak to my brother,” Sirius called out, eyes darting between the three of them.
“I don’t think you have a right to call him your brother, tosser,” Barty said, raising a pointed finger towards Sirius, “You’ve been nothing but a complete arsehole to him.”
James and Remus rounded the corner then, the smiles on their faces falling once they saw their group, clearly in the midst of an argument.
Peter just looked relieved at the sight of them while Regulus wanted to vomit.
He felt incredibly torn now.
While his feelings for Sirius were complicated, it was easy for them to fight, normal even, but he didn’t feel the same for James or especially Remus, who he could actually say he was building a sort of friendship with.
He just stood between the two of them, hopelessly trying to figure out what they could do and drawing a blank.
“What’s going on here?” James asked as he approached, the book in his hand jostling slightly as he idly thumbed the cover.
“Well I caught them in the midst of plotting, no silencing charms or anything, and I’d quite like to know what they have planned for our friend,” Sirius explained, turning back to them with a mocking smile on his face.
It really was unfortunate how similar Sirius was to Walburga sometimes.
While he would never say it to him, when Sirius turned cold and cruel like this, his face seemed to take after Walburga, knowing exactly how to angle his eyes and set his lips to look just like her.
It was ugly and cold and nothing like how Sirius normally looked and it almost made him too painful to even look at.
James and Remus immediately looked at him, not even considering talking to any of his friends, even Pandora who was just quietly watching the exchange.
Regulus raised a single hand to Barty who was gearing up to talk and instead spoke for him, “We don’t have anything planned, you misunderstood what Barty was saying. Shove off Sirius.”
“And if I don’t?” he teased.
He was certainly in a bad mood today.
“Sirius, if they said nothing happened then nothing happened, let’s just go,” James said quietly, as if they wouldn’t be able to hear him.
Sirius turned to him, betrayal written in his features and he looked like he was about to protest but Remus just showed up on his other side and whispered something in his ear, this time entirely too quiet for any of them to hear. Whatever it was must’ve been quite powerful because his brother, who was looking more and more like a stranger every day, deflated instantly, all fight draining out of him and instead pooling on the floor around him.
“It’s getting late anyways,” James said, pointedly, eyes flashing from the night-dark windows to him, a message louder than even the parchment notes that were currently gathering at the bottom of his bag.
He never meant to keep them but they kept appearing in his bag so often that he just left them there now, just wondering how many he’d end up with at the end of this all.
Remus hauled Sirius up out of there and after a few minutes, they departed the Library as well, Pandora going to see Xenophilius and Barty and Evan going back to the Slytherin dorms.
Regulus just sighed as he went outside, greeted the moon, and set off towards the Lake.
____
“Dorcas likes Marlene. We were talking about how to get them together for the Halloween Ball coming up, that’s all.”
Those were the first words Regulus said to James when he arrived that night.
Regulus was first for once and he watched James as he hurried towards the Lake, probably not expecting Regulus to have been so timely. Perhaps he was up in his dorms, working overtime to calm Sirius down before it was safe for him to leave.
He sat down right next to him, not even a hands-length between them now.
The fact that they were alone allowed them this possibility of closeness, and the idea was not quite so repulsive anymore and instead caused him to twitch, the desire either move even closer or farther apart eating at him, the current distance too teasing to be ignored.
James’ expression was as calm as ever. He wasn’t mad like Regulus had expected him to be but he still felt like he had to offer some sort of explanation for earlier.
He had a well enough idea of what Sirius had probably told them about him and he had no desire to actually prove him right.
James awed then, realisation overcoming him, “Well that should be easy because Marlene likes her too, obviously.”
Regulus looked at him, taking a moment to study his profile. His curly hair sticking out in opposite directions, the small bump on the bridge of his nose, his sharp canines poking out over his lips as he grinned, looking outwards across the Lake and to the forest where creatures of all sorts lingered, probably watching them at this very moment.
“Yes well, it’s just a matter of who’s going to make the first move and if they do it in time for the ball. At this point I think it’ll end up being McKinnon,” Regulus sighed, sticking his fingers into the sand beneath him, grabbing handfuls before letting it sift through his fingers and fall into piles on either side of him.
“No way, Marlene’s too scared, it’ll be Meadowes for sure,” James refuted.
“Would you like to place a bet then?” Regulus asked.
“I would,” James said, “What’s the winner get?”
He thought about it for a moment before speaking, “They get to ask the other person any question they’d like at any time and the other person has to answer honestly,” Regulus decided, figuring it was best to keep the stakes low.
James considered it, tipping his head from side to side as if weighing it before deciding, stilling and sticking a hand out, “Deal.”
“Careful Potter, you’re making a deal with a snake,” Regulus said, raising his own hand and holding it just a hair's breadth away.
“And yet I still agree,” he said, grasping Regulus’ hand within his own and shaking once, firmly.
His hand remained clasped in James for one moment too long and he pulled away first, regretting it as soon as he had done it.
“What about you?” James asked, voice quieter than before.
“What do you mean?”
“Who are you taking to the ball?” the other boy asked, running his hand through his hair, messing it up even more than before though it was probably bound to end up like that anyways.
Regulus just blew out a long breath of air. The idea of him going with anyone was laughable, a cosmic joke. He hadn’t even considered the possibility, hadn’t entertained it, and he wasn’t even sure he was going anyways.
It would be better to sulk in the privacy of Pandora’s dorm than in public.
“No one. I’m not even sure if I’m going.”
James nudged his shoulder with his and levelled with an aghast look, “No way, there has to be some girl you have your eye on.”
The laugh that burst out of him made James join in though he was clearly confused about what it was about what he said that made him react in such a way.
“Not quite.”
James hmphed, seeming to go into thought about something as he played with the hem of his now blue trunks.
“What about you then?” Regulus asked, sudden curiosity niggling at him.
“Now that is a very good question I do not have the answer for yet,” James sighed heavily.
Regulus tried to think back to who James could possibly ask and vivid memories of all the public displays of affection he had given to Lily that had gone unreciprocated floated to the forefront of his mind. Surely he would try to go with her, he didn’t seem like a giver-upper.
“I assumed you’d answer with a swift Evans.”
“Even I know my limits,” James answered interestingly. “Now Reggie, let’s get in the water, you’ve done it once, you can do it again.”
“Don’t call me that.”
“It’s a nickname, it works.”
“Reggie sounds like a sneeze gone wrong, plus I hate nicknames,” Regulus answered dryly.
“But Regulus is so long and convoluted, Reggie is so easy.”
“Black is even easier,” he refuted.
“Very true but again, very weird. I know you’re stalling, get up,” he ordered.
Regulus wondered if James remembered what happened the last time he got in, if he had felt the same spark and heat he did when they stood next to each other, so close that he could smell the jasmine on James’ skin and see the flecks of green shining through his eyes.
What did James see when he looked at him?
“And here I was thinking I was so sneaky about it.”
“I think you’ll find that you aren’t nearly as hard to read as you might think you are,” James said in a moment of sober honesty.
As if all the time he’d spent practising Occlumency and working on his tells were for nothing. As though all the nights he’d spent sitting in front of the mirror, schooling his expression into one of cool indifference in the midst of crying was for nothing at all.
His hand trembled against his side and he let out a muttered curse.
It was getting better, but only very slightly. It started out as a nonstop phenomenon and it had certainly calmed since then where he could go hours without the feeling but once it began, it took about an equal amount of hours to get it to stop again.
There was probably a way to stop it but he’d be damned if he ever actually tried to find it.
“Is that still from…before?” he asked cautiously.
He was knee deep in the water now and his eyes were obscured by the moonlight reflecting off the lenses of his glasses and Regulus wished for him to angle his head so that he may let him catch sight of them once more.
“It is.”
No further explanation was required nor given.
James just jerked his head towards himself, his patience for Regulus surely shortening but now Regulus was faced with an entirely different problem than before.
“I don’t want to get my trousers wet though.”
James grinned now, “See that’s why I tried to tell you to dress appropriately.”
“Well I don’t know what’s appropriate for…this.”
“Alright, don’t act like you’re too good for some water, stand up.”
Regulus did as told and rolled up the sleeves of his white uniform shirt, hating the feeling of wet cuffs rubbing against his wrists.
James stepped out of the water and went to his school bag that he had apparently brought with him. Regulus hadn’t even noticed.
“I brought you a present,” James said as he crouched and rifled in his bag that was overflowing with parchments and books.
“Oh no,” Regulus mumbled, standing and waiting for whatever monstrosity he pulled out.
It was a pair of neon green swimming shorts, practically identical to the ones James was wearing.
“You’re joking,” Regulus deadpanned, not taking them out of James’ outstretched hand.
“I won’t say what I know we’re both thinking and anyways, it’s literally the only solution. It’s not as though you were going to buy them yourself but at the same time, you can’t go in your uniform now can you,” James reasoned.
If not for the fact that Regulus didn’t want to expose his legs, the sheer colour was enough to make him nauseous.
“Get changed,” he ordered.
Regulus weighed his options and figured he wasn’t scared to say, put his feet in the water, up to the ankles at max, but he didn’t want to risk ruining his normal clothes for the sake of these, still pointless, lessons. It didn’t help that under all the vehement refusal he held about the notion of swimming, he was self-conscious about it, about wearing the garment that revealed more of his figure than usual.
“Here I’ll turn around,” James offered, making a show of putting his hands over his eyes and turning completely around, walking towards the Lake once more.
Regulus froze but knew he had to change, not wanting to be so difficult when the swim trunks would do nothing but make the rest of the night easier.
He internally groaned before kicking off his shoes and shuffling out of his trousers as quickly as possible, checking periodically that James was still not looking. He knew he’d look funny with his uniform top still on but he was certainly not about to give that up.
Once he changed, he grabbed his wand and aimed at himself, casting, before dropping it again with a satisfied smile.
He stepped up to the Lake, kicking the water around lightly with his foot and the noise caught James’ attention.
“What’d you do to them,” he gaped.
“I fixed them,” he answered easily.
“Diva,” James rolled his eyes. “Also, you made it up to your knees last time so I know you can do more than that.”
Regulus inched only slightly more, the water rising to just above his ankles.
Then, James reached out and wrapped both of his hands around Regulus’ wrists, his tan skin contrasting sharply with his pale arms and coaxed him forward, gently pulling him toward him, the cool water climbing up and eagerly licking at his legs, seizing his limbs and halting his movements.
When he made it up to where James was initially standing, his knees now completely submerged, he felt a blanket of warmth envelop him. The air was slightly charged here, the slight hum indicative of James’ magic at work and while Regulus often felt close-proximity warming charms to suffocating, this was more comforting, like a weighted blanket enveloping him.
“You can do a lot more than you think Reg,” James whispered, slowly pulling him with him, deeper into the water.
Regulus snapped back into himself when the water reached his thighs and he froze, looking up at James with genuine fear in his eyes.
James immediately responded, not moving any further, keeping his eyes and focus on Regulus.
He worked on keeping his breathing in check, using James’ touch to ground him, to remind him that he was still above the water, that he could still breathe.
He looked down, as if expecting the kelpie from his nightmares to come shooting up for him, but he was met with nothing but inky darkness and he started shuffling his feet, kicking out to stave off whatever predators might be underneath-
“Regulus.”
He snapped his head up to James.
“There’s nothing there, just focus on the water, how does it feel? It’s not as cold with the warming charm right? I casted it wandless, I used to not be very good at it but I started…”
James dove into a long story about how he had learned wandless magic and Regulus was only half paying attention to it, the other half focused on the fact that he was in the water, deeper than he ever thought he would be again, and he wondered where the drop off point was.
He remembered his feet giving out from under him the first time he came in and feared where that point was, if James would miscalculate one day and drag them both under.
When Regulus looked at James’ hands, he saw that his fingertips were digging into his wrists, hard enough to hurt, but James hadn’t even mentioned them, only continuing to talk and talk, providing background noise as his mental faculties collapsed and rewired to accept that this was happening.
The longer they stood, the less Regulus thought about the Lake, and the more he came into his senses and the awareness of James so close to him was overwhelming to take in.
He thought about Sirius up in Gryffindor tower right now.
What would he have to say if he saw James right now? Applaud him for taking him on as a charity case? Laugh at him for needing James’ help?
Sirius’ reactions to just about anything involving him worried him and yet, James was treating him with the utmost care and respect, completely unperturbed and instead trusting the blanket of night to protect them from anyone else, rendering them and whatever opinions they might have irrelevant.
“You didn’t listen to a single thing I said did you?” James asked softly, humour lacing his words and Regulus found it easier for the rest of his worries to slip away if he just focused on James, leant into his touch rather than trying to fight it.
“Sorry I-”
“Don’t apologise, you did good today,” he said honestly.
“How do you do it?” Regulus whispered, so quietly that as soon as he spoke them, the words drifted into the air around them, disappearing. “You’re so…patient.”
He hadn’t meant to ask that aloud but now that he had, he was desperate to know.
“You’re worth waiting for,” James answered honestly.
So honestly that it cracked Regulus’ mental walls and caged heart from the sheer force with which the words struck him.