Chapter 2
Regulus wakes up with a strangled scream in his throat and a pain throughout his body so sharp it seems endless.
He lets out a ragged sob, breathing heavily.
It seems like an absurd dream. It shouldn't be possible, but here he is, alive. For the second time.
A realization comes after a moment, he lifts the sleeve of his sweater sharply and looks at the clear skin of his wrist.
Contrary to the phantom pains piercing his entire being, focusing, Regulus realizes that his body is intact.
There are no effects of crucio, no other equivalent of torture. His muscles do not contract, his insides do not boil, there is no taste of blood in his mouth, and his stomach does not feel like a bottomless pit.
He ignores the whispers of the dead in his ears calling him to the bottom. He ignores the feeling of not getting enough air. The feeling of blood under his fingernails and teeth in his skin remain, he ignores them, too.
It's hard to take his eyes off his unmarked wrist, but he stands up and a new determination rises in his chest.
***
Pandora looks at him with knowing eyes, holds his hands in hers and rests her forehead against his.
"What's wrong, little star?" she whispers, as if sharing a secret.
He swallows hard, stares intently at his friend, and finds nothing but the support and patience that so warms souls.
He ignores the feeling of betrayal, as if this Pandora had led him into the lake, playing on trust.
"I should be dead, Dora. I've been here before," he admits.
She strokes him, softly and soothingly.
"It's okay, we'll figure it out."
***
Barty and Evan see that something has changed in him. They've known each other too long for that not to happen.
Regulus says he's not ready to tell them yet.
He's not sure if he ever will be.
***
His mother looks at him so intently that his back gets cold, but she says nothing.
Regulus isn't sure if that's good or bad.
It still hurts to look at Sirius.
***
He attends class and listens to what he already knows.
He reads about Horcruxes again, before the Dark Lord even starts bragging that it won't be long before his reign is over.
He looks at Critcher and sits with him on the floor in the semi-darkness of the evening, leaning into each other and sharing secrets.
He tells him how much he appreciates the elf, that he does a great job and has never let him down.
Finally Kreacher cries and hugs his legs while Regulus gently runs his hand over his head.
"Thank you, Kreacher."
He hopes this at least redeems him a little for giving up a loyal elf to the Dark Lord.
***
Nevertheless, he can't go to the cave unless Kreacher is there.
That means he'll have to put Critcher under torture again.
He hates that.
***
Regulus spends the time before this, digging into the subject of Horcruxes in such a way that he could write his own book about them.
He scribbles in his notebook plans to destroy them, each one more convoluted than the last.
He covers the notebook with layers of protective spells, overlapping each other, weaving their magic so that in the end they can only respond to him.
***
He reads and reads and reads.
He reads so much that the bags under his eyes grow larger and smaller, and the time before he meets the Dark Lord grows shorter and shorter.
The students of Hogwarts rarely see him without a book and notebook in his hand, his skin stained with ink.
The weight on his shoulders grows heavier and heavier.
***
His mother looks at him, tension buzzing in the air between them.
She puts her hand on his shoulder and pulls him to her, embracing him.
"My son..." she whispers, "I know how you can give our family respect."
He knows, too.
***
He looks into the face of a being who knows no fear of death. Not yet.
Regulus extends his left hand, bowing servilely. He ignores the tugging pain, the desire of his whole being to give up and stand on his haunches.
For the third time (even after two agonizing deaths), the pain of the mark is no less. He endures it better, but eventually finds himself lying on the floor, holding back groans.
The laughter of the death eaters around him echoes in his ears.
The Dark Lord lovingly runs his wand over his mark, looks vaguely pleased, and welcomes him into the ranks of his subjects.
***
He looks into his brown eyes and swallows hard.
"Please, I didn't do anything!" the girl pleads, grabbing his pant leg, "please, please don't..."
Bellatrix laughs cruelly behind his back.
"They're so cute when they beg!" she chirps cheerfully.
With a beating heart Regulus whispers: "Avada kedavra."
***
He looks at Sirius' departing back as he laughs with his friends on either side of him.
His shoulders slump disappointedly, but he understands.
Evan and Barty surround him and gently nudge him in the other direction.
***
Kreacher screams and cries, scratching his throat.
Regulus gives him a drink.
He asks him to tell him what happened.
***
He doesn't wait any longer than necessary. He knows more this time.
Kreacher apparates him before entering the cave.
"You are free, Kreacher."
"But Master Regulus..."
He looks at the elf, arching an eyebrow.
"You may go."
Kreacher frowns and rests his hands at his sides.
"Kreacher doesn't leave Master Regulus behind," he says firmly, finally stomping his foot.
Regulus can't contain a gentle smile and nods.
"Then help me figure out where this place is."
And so they begin to look around.
***
He stands before the ominous goblet with his heart beating hard.
Kreacher stands beside him, awkwardly shifting from foot to foot.
"Kreacher, when I finish this," he wrinkles his nose in disgust, "take the Horcrux, grab me, and apparate us back, understand?"
He won't die in that wretched cave again.
"Kreacher understands," the faithful elf replies confidently and watches nervously as Regulus takes his first sips.
***
It's the same as last time, but it hasn't gotten any less painful.
Sirius looks at him like he's dirt and walks away.
His mother squirms in disgust at the sight of him.
Evan and Barty, standing in front of him, freeze for a moment.
"Ah, Reggie..." they whisper in sync, almost stroking his hair as he lets out a strangled sob.
He faintly calls them by name, hoping that maybe they have come for him. Maybe they somehow found out about the Horcruxes and he won't have to fight alone.
"Stupid as ever," they also bring him sharply back to reality, "who would save you?"
He ignores the tears accumulating in his eyes.
***
The water burns his throat.
He drinks it, chokes, and drinks it again.
Regulus sees Pandora, heart fluttering nervously, recognizing the situation.
***
He drinks until the goblet moves away from his parched lips.
"Dora," he whispers pleadingly, brokenly, and pulls his shaking hand toward his friend.
Let her be here, he begs all the gods. He does not want to be alone.
Pandora sits down on her knees in front of him and stretches out her arms, calling him into her arms.
Regulus gasps, so, so relieved, and hurries as fast as he can to her.
***
He doesn't notice that anything is wrong until he crawls knee-deep into the water.
Dora's eyes, usually shining with some mystery and love and tenderness, are as cold as crystal ice.
For a moment, his heart stops beating.
He feels the breath of death on his neck, tightening its grip on him.
***
Kreacher grabs him and they find themselves in his room at Grimmo Place.
The elf stares at him in horror, clutching the monstrous thing tightly in his hands.
"Kreacher," he wheezes with a dry throat, "water."
He lives.
***
The fact that he survived doesn't
suddenly make life any easier.
He looks at the medallion, from which, even at a distance, such dark magic emanates that it makes him gasp.
He holds the source of the Dark Lord's immortality in his hands and feels nothing but swirling terror.
***
Regulus casts so many curses on the Horcrux that it seems as if they distort his very soul, but the medallion remains intact, not a scratch.
He growls in frustration and sits down at his books again.
***
The relief on Pandora's face when she sees him again warms something deep inside him.
He hugs his friend tightly, feels her shoulders tremble shallowly, and wishes he could do something to ease her burden.
Pandora gently strokes his dirty, dark wrist, looking at him sadly but not wrinkling.
Regulus doesn't think she realizes how much he appreciates it.
***
Evan and Barty don't know what's going on, but Pandora's mood has transferred enough to them that they pat him roughly on the back and ruffle his hair.
"Jerks," growls Regulus, fighting off their double attack.
But they're my jerks, he thinks.
***
Barty and Evan join the Death Eaters a little later than he does.
It hurts to see them in their black robes and face-hiding masks, instilling terror in the Muggleborn.
It hurts to know that they are willing to follow a manic and utterly idiotic leader who has chosen the completely wrong path to power.
But the feeling of his friends on both sides of him overrides the heavy pain.
***
Bellatrix spends much more time with him, leaving him nervous every second of the day.
She trains him as a "dear relative," even if it ends up leaving him lying on the floor with shaky limbs, heavy breathing, and the taste of his own blood in his mouth.
"Fascinating, you're enduring more and more, kid," she chirps, laying down another curse.
"It's a family thing," he whispered through his teeth, watching her face light up with joy.
***
God, he wants to make that bitch pay.
***
He looks into the innocent baby eyes, shining with that purity and naivety.
"You have a very pretty mask, sir!" chirps the Muggle, or he would run away screaming.
Bellatrix isn't around, but he's still tense.
"Where are your parents?" he squeezes out.
"Oh, they're working and I can look after myself!" the boy is not lost.
"Go home, kid."
"Excuse me? Sir, just so you know, I'm very old! Probably older than you!!!" stomps the kid's foot.
"Go home, little one."
Very frowning (and adorable) eyes look at Regulus.
"Then promise you'll come play with me."
Such insolence makes my heart flutter nervously. He clenches his hands into fists, straining even harder.
"Get out of here, baby," he whispers, almost pleading.
God, please, he doesn't want to kill the baby.
"It's Henry, sir."
"Get out, Henry."
The baby looks at him determinedly and stubbornly, reminding him so much of Sirius.
"A promise first."
Regulus freezes as he hears Bellatrix's voice in the distance.
"Okay-okay, I promise," he hurries, "now go!"
The child looks at him, lips pursed. Then he holds out his hand with his pinky finger outstretched.
"Pinkie promise! Promise me you'll come!"
Regulus blinks in amazement for a moment, but he doesn't have time to convince the child that this is nonsense.
He grabs the baby's little finger with his own. The child enthusiastically shakes their joined hands and spreads a wide smile, showing off the dimples on his cheeks.
"Pleasure doing business with you, mister! I'll look forward to seeing you tomorrow!"
"Yeah, yeah, get out of here, kid," he hustles.
"It's Henry, mister!" laughs the boy and runs off.
***
Bellatrix finds him at the opposite end of the village from the child, looking at the man's lifeless corpse.
"Well done, Reggie."
That leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.
Perhaps it would have been better not to have gotten out of that cave.