Snowstorm
Chapter 2: Snowstorm
It was a cold January day, specifically it was a cold, very cold January 27, 1985, outside all you could see was the white colored snow, which made Regulus happy. He loved snow, not nearly as much as he loved the heat of the sun, but the snow always cheered him up when things were going wrong . It made his whole body go numb and the pain was gone for only a moment before it was too dangerous to stay outside and froze to death, he did try to die in the snow once or twice but Barty always stopped him on time.
He was hiding away in the garden in the midst of a snowstorm while holding a letter in his hands. He wasn't crying ; he wouldn't grieve her - she was the cause of all the anguish he was currently experiencing. He reread the letter over and over.
My dearest, Reggie
I'm sending this letter to let you know that our mother has recently passed away. I'm not entirely certain if you care about her or if you'll even bother reading this letter. Christ Even though I have no idea if you are still alive, I felt it was only fair to let you know.
Would you please just return home to me, to us, if you are alive and reading this letter?
We miss you, I miss you, and no matter what you did, if you are still alive, I will forgive you. I need you now more than ever since I'm the head of the family and I need to set things right. Please please, just come home.
Regulus, come back from wherever you went.
Regards, your brother.
P.S. With Remus' help, he says hello, and he misses you as well, we all do.
Regulus wasn't sure exactly how he was meant to respond to this letter; while he was certain that Evan and Barty would accompany him back to his brother and his new family, Regulus was more concerned about what to do if he did go back. How the fuck would he explain the entire half-blind, constantly in pain, coughing blood, desperation, and hey, I'm also a father to a pair of orphans and one girl I stole from an unhappy household!
Would his brother even want him to come back if he knew what Regulus had done to himself in the cave? Would he hate him and be repelled by what he heard? Despite everything he had done, would he still love him?
Sirius was going to be upset and Regulus couldn't blame him. How would you feel if your brother attempted suicide by sacrificing himself in the war? or if your brother pulled out one of his eyes because he drank poison that only revealed what everyone really thought of him?
Regulus wasn't sure he would survive it if he really did hate him.
"Reg?" Hermione stepped out the door wearing her winter clothing, while Draco and Luna stood behind her, clutching each other to keep warm.
"Yes Mione?" he asked with a smile. "What are you all doing outside? There is a snowstorm, you could catch a cold!"
"What are you doing out here?" Draco inquired, smirking "You could also catch a cold"
Regulus inwardly cursed, they were all too much like him. While he was somewhat thrilled he didn't want that for them because being like him is what really doomed him.
Regulus replied, "I was just thinking," and the three of them rushed to sit in his lap.
"Are you sad?" asked Luna, noticing Regulus's tears; he wasn't aware that he had been crying until now, Luna had inherited both Pandora's capacity to sense when someone suffered and her desire to console them.
"Why are you sad, Père?" Hermione questioned, Regulus grinned at the use of the french word, Hermione had been the only one interested in learning french, even at such a young age, because of her incredible courage, drive, and quest for knowledge, he believed she would one day become an influential person in the wizarding world.
"Someone wrote me a letter, my brother" Regulus replied, "And I have no idea how to respond, but you shouldn't worry about me, Fille"
"What did your brother want?" Draco questioned. Of course, he wanted him to open up, just as Cissa would have urged him to do, and he had the look she used to give him that made everything feel okay, that made the world stop spinning.
Oh, how absurd—he was ready to talk to a group of five-year-olds about his feelings! He didn't think it was possible to go much lower than this.
"When I was younger, I had to leave him behind," Regulus stated, "but now he wants to talk to me again, and I don't know what to do"
"Would you please tell us about him?" Luna questioned. "You never talk about him, we'd like to know more"
Regulus chose to put the letter issue aside and spend the stormy day with his children "His name is Sirius, after the brightest star in the sky, and he is brave, and kind..." Regulus smiled at the memories "he used to make me laugh all the time, he liked to prank our cousin Bellatrix like crazy, he was always in trouble and..."
And so Regulus began, his mind suddenly filled with memories of his dear brother, the ones he had been suppressing for years, and he talked and talked and talked. Then, like the blue of a sunny day, the solution seemed immediately clear: Sirius would still adore him even if he set the world on fire for fun.
He took enormous efforts to focus on Sirius and not the other person, the sun, or how much he yearned for what he could not have. He had to constantly remind himself to be strong for Sirius. Sirius would still adore him, but him, he had a family, a career, other dreams, and—most importantly—no love for him.
After hearing enough tales of their cool uncle Sirius the kids decided to go back inside, he took the choice to accompany them. He entered his room and sat down in front of his desk.
Now what?
My dearest Sirius
I am alive (if you can call it that) and I want to return to you, but things are not that simple.
As a result of an incident a few years ago, I'm sad to say that I'm not doing very well physically or emotionally. However, Evan and Barty keep me from completely collapsing, so I'm hanging in there.
I'm willing to meet with you, I'll see you at your home tomorrow; yes, I know where you live.
Barty is going to be coming with me to ensure my well-being during the trip, we meet at six o'clock.
PS: Remus should cook; your food is awful.
The snow was still falling as he opened the window and let his owl, Thana, fly away with the letter; he kept the window open and felt the chilly breeze against his skin, he took a breath of cold air.
"Regulus, you'd better shut that window immediately!" Barty entered the room with the customary muggle pain relievers Regulus had to take.
"Fine" Regulus shut it and turned to face Barty, saying, "Just so you know, I was sending a letter this time, not thinking about how nice it would be to jump."
"Who are you writing to?" Barty asked, voice filled with inquiry. "I haven't seen you write anyone in years,"
"I was actually writing to my brother, believe it or not." "I'm meeting with him tomorrow, and you're coming with me because I'm not allowed to go anywhere alone," Regulus said, as Barty's expression sank.
"Why me?" "Why can't Evan go?" Barty asked in exasperation. "Sirius prefers him to me!"
"Barty, I'm not leaving you alone with my kids." Regulus spoke the words "Never again" in a stern voice as he recalled the mess Barty and the children had caused.
"Come on Reg!" Barty tried to persuade him, "It wasn't that bad!"
"You lit the house ablaze!" Regulus and swallowed the pain reliever "I can't even imagine what you'll do if I leave you with them now that they're older"
"What's going on? Barty, darling, you look terrible," Evan said as he entered the room.
"I have to accompany him on his visit to his brother," Barty whined, and Regulus rolled his eyes in return.
"What is he doing now?" Evan questioned In disbelief, "Since when are you talking to Sirius?"
And when Regulus told them about the letter he received from Sirius and how he chose to contact him, they weren't convinced he was okay with telling Sirius everything. So they both offered to accompany him, telling the kids it was a family trip to London so they could be there for him if anything went wrong.
It wasn't really a proposal; rather, it was more of a "we are doing this and your gonna have to be okay with it" sort of choice.
"Then, we're taking a vacation!" Regulus announced with fake enthusiasm.
... (changes to Sirius POV)
For the past two and a half hours, Sirius had been waiting at the window, desperate for some kind of confirmation.
Was his brother still living or had he passed away? This was the final address he was going to try; after several attempts over the years, numerous conversations, and the use of magic, he was still unable to contact his younger brother.
Remus glared at him from the living room, "Love, you need to at least eat something."
"I won't sto.." Before he could finish, he noticed a black owl clutching a green letter-sized envelope, exactly like the ones Regulus used.
Sirius felt both joy and horror as he tore open the envelope.
My dearest Sirius
He recognized this handwriting as being Reggie's and felt his heartbeat quicken.
"It's him!" he cried, relieved. "Oh, he's alive!"
Remus hugged him; they were both so happy they needed some time to continue reading, oh he had cried for hours when he first found out he was missing, how he had prayed to the moon, the stars and the sun to bring him back, for him to be alive.
I am alive (if you can call it that) and I want to return to you, but things are not that simple.
Sirius frowned; what did he mean? "If you can call it that" Was he hurt? was someone hurting him?
As a result of an incident a few years ago, I'm sad to say that I'm not doing very well physically or emotionally.
Incident? He'd been harmed, hadn't he? Was he unwell? Because Sirius was unable to think logically, he swore that hell would be served to anybody who harmed his brother.
However, Evan and Barty keep me from completely collapsing, so I'm hanging in there.
"Oh Merlin, I'm so glad he's not alone!" Remus said. "This letter is beginning to sound really depressing."
I'm willing to meet with you, I'll see you at your home tomorrow; yes, I know where you live.
"Oh the little shit," Sirius chuckled, "how did he even find our address?"
Barty is going to be coming with me to ensure my well-being during the trip, we meet at six o'clock.
"Ensure his well being? Is he ill?" Sirius questioned "Why can't he travel by himself?"
The questions remained unanswered, and both of them were concerned about Regulus, a friend, a brother.
PS: Remus should cook; your food is awful.
Remus laughed at this comment; there he was, the Regulu's they knew and loved, still fond of poking fun at his brother.
"I'm going to write to James!" Sirius said excited .
"No," Remus quickly interrupted, "if Regulus wants to reach out to him, he will, but it is not our place to tell."
"Okay, but if he finds out, you'll explain why we kept it a secret from him he'll be pissed," Sirius predicted.